Who am I?

[szdp]

Hello there. Who am I?

To answer the question of who am I right now I need to go back and explain my past. As someone who grew up in a country that was in a war and under sanctions at most of my youth, I know how it feels when you don't have anything. And by anything I mean when you don't have even enough to eat. But I always have a lovely family and grew up surrounded by love.


I was always dedicated and persistent when I wanted to be. For example, in the sport I was successful, one of the best in the whole country until I did lose interest in it. In school I was good but hated to learn stuff that I wasn't interested in. And in general education there is a lot of that, stuffs that you will never use in real life. But I grew up like most of us, always listening to stories about how I need to finish up a good school with great grades, to find a job and to be successful that way. Be a professor, doctor, work and wait for retirement to enjoy life.


That's why I went to the faculty. I didn't have an idea what I want to do so I just continue in similar fields like in my middle school. Quite fast I realized that I don't love it (hate it). And I again learn stuff which cant be used in any future job. But I was too weak to stop and leave it as it will break my parents who put a list dime to school me. I started doing this and that, trying to make money however I can, had few early business ideas and failures, kid stuffs generally, nothing worth noticing.


Then I catch this mantra If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. And at that moment fall for it. So I thought hard on what I love and I realize that I love computers, the internet and things related to that field. So I started my learning.


I love to learn but there was no easy way at that time. No Udemy, no dedicated course sites, youtube was a site where you put cats videos, outdated books.
But I did my best, learn a few basic technologies but then stop to pass a few exams to satisfy my parents. And at that time I forgot everything I learned so far in IT.
It lasts a few years without any real success. I tried a lot of stuff, affiliate marketing, black hat methods for this and that, every gets rich fast scheme I could find online. I know the young and stupid one I was. And for sure, without any success.


So it was a hard struggle for me, but I didn't give up on that. I got married, started doing part-time graphic design jobs for money so small I can't even eat full month for it. But as a fighter I always found a way to feed me and my wife. I started doing freelance UI and dev jobs but without any big success. I used it to build my portfolio slowly and to learn. I learned hard and persistent, sometimes 10 times the same topic just to get it. All that with small or no money at all. And with no support from anyone except my wife.


All my family and friend told me that I dream, I am not realistic, I will not succeed, that I need to stop that stupid child play and to find a real job and support my family. I will never succeed in it.


As we got a child I realize that we can't live from my freelance money anymore so I started to look for a job. I was afraid of it, wasn't sure if I know enough, how I will compare with others. I had full imposter syndrome.
I send a CV to one company, a big international one and get a job interview opportunity. I manage to do it quite easy and got my first job offer. It was already at least 5 times bigger than what my parents got in their best days. I accepted it and my work career started.


That was a day everybody stopped mocking me and appreciated my hard work for a while. And for sure, everyone suggested me to keep it like crazy, grow with it till I got a pension.


Quite fast I realize that I am better than all in my team. As hustler and fighter, I wanted more of everything. I got a bigger salary, better job position. I started working remotely in my spare time. Money was good but I realized one thing. As my monthly income growth my expenses growth even more.


I changed my job, get an even bigger salary and started living a country dream. It was a year of IT boom in my country, everybody talking about it, everybody needs to become IT expert, to live like kings. it is on news every day. Kids want to learn it, schools promise you can become one after 3 to 6 month easy learning you just need to pay them a lot of money. Crazy times. And I live that life.


Everybody started telling me I don't understand the problems of others, I was born under a lucky star and so on.That it was so easy for me. And for money, my expenses grow again. I had a bigger salary than 99% in my country and I was again broken. Have a house, 2 cars, a sportbike and still didn't have anything in saving or assets.


So this fabulous life that everybody in my country wanted and praised, it was just another slow lane or maybe even a sidewalk. I hated it. I could change even more of my time for more money but I already was at the end of my strengths. And I started hating a job that I loved os much.


So what I did, as any sane person would do, I started looking for alternatives. I started learning again, but this time business topic, startup ones, sales. I wanted out of a rat race. I created a good book collection and started reading it. Created a 2 local business, one family one and one personal one. They are local and still small but I can practice the things that I read in books in them.


From any books that I studied Millionaire Fastlane open my eyes the most. It is direct, easy to understand, straight to the point, such a song for my ears. Exactly what I need to hear. It also showed me that with my local businesses I was selfish and wanted to solve my problem, not customers ones. And I wanted money, passive income and not to solve problems and help customers.


So at the end who I am?
I am somebody in a crossroads.
Somebody who wants to move to Fastlane.
Somebody who understood all problems with the sidewalk and the slow lane on my own skin.
Somebody who pushes himself to read and learn every day.
Somebody who is not doing that for money, but for freedom as who needs money if you don't have time to spend it.


And why here?
I need a group of similarly minded peoples as nobody else can understand me, nobody in my close or even wider surrounding.
They again think that I am crazy, I dream, I will never achieve something great. But I believe in me, and they just feed my will to do it even harder.


If you read all this I need to say sorry for a long text and for my not so good English.

 

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[Tullygetsfree]

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