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Which syntaxical version is it?

Taxes and regulation

Which phrase is more suitable to someone stuck in the rat-race?

  • They were living, but they weren’t alive.

    Votes: 8 34.8%
  • They were alive, but they weren't living

    Votes: 13 56.5%
  • They pretty much both say the same thing. Either one.

    Votes: 2 8.7%

  • Total voters
    23

MJ DeMarco

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In my new book (which has entered the production phase!) I have a statement that I can't quite determine the correct format.

Please vote for what you think it should be.

Here the phrase is in context:

#1
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were living, but they weren’t alive. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.

#2
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were alive, but they weren't living. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.


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socaldude

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Just off the top of my head. Knowing language has a mathematical syntax. Like logic. I think the second choice is more consistent with the actual definitions of the words. And the corollaries and propositions you can derive from these sentences makes more sense. Just my opinion.
 

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Strong plug for #2 from someone who is very sensitive to the meaning and connotations of words.

The picture in my head for #1:
They are zombies. Or fully clothed skeletons walking around "doing life." There is no detectable biological life.

The picture in my head for #2:
They are breathing and functioning, but they are just existing, just surviving, not really "LIVING," and certainly not thriving.
 

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MJ DeMarco

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Based on the results of the vote, I see I wasn't going crazy in trying to figure out what was correct. More and more, looks like a "which came first" thing, a chicken or the egg.
 

Raja

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In my new book (which has entered the production phase!) I have a statement that I can't quite determine the correct format.

Please vote for what you think it should be.

Here the phrase is in context:

#1
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were living, but they weren’t alive. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.

#2
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were alive, but they weren't living. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.


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Hey mj,

Can you reduce matrix reference a bit. Frankly its too self helpy. I don't have any problem but an international bestseller might face this issue where meaning is lost in the translation.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Hey mj,

Can you reduce matrix reference a bit. Frankly its too self helpy. I don't have any problem but an international bestseller might face this issue where meaning is lost in the translation.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I won't be changing it.
 

MTF

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The picture in my head for #2:
They are breathing and functioning, but they are just existing, just surviving, not really "LIVING," and certainly not thriving.

Definitely this. Also "alive" sounds like a passive description of something existing (we found them alive) while "living" sounds like taking action, being active (they were living large). So you can be alive and not living but it's weird to say you're living but you're not alive.
 

Alxf

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In my new book (which has entered the production phase!) I have a statement that I can't quite determine the correct format.

Please vote for what you think it should be.

Here the phrase is in context:

#1
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were living, but they weren’t alive. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.

#2
With a crumbling marriage and looming bankruptcy, the Trotmans are forced to face the red-pill truth they long denied: They were alive, but they weren't living. Determined to resurrect their life and their marriage, the Trotman’s plot a rat-race escape—but only find themselves more thickly in it.


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#2 for sure. It echoes "Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75."

What I think you intend in #1 is "They were living, but they didn't feel alive". It may work in spoken language where you can use tone and cadence to make it clear that you are talking about their emotional state, not their physical state (i.e. they weren't undead), but it's ambiguous in text.
 
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