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When your family thinks your lazy/embarrass..

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Lights

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My family has given me nothing since I turn an adult, while I on the other hand help them much more in many way. I given my money to mother when she broke, I do not ask for rent if she were to live with me nor anyone, I given people presents like last mother day I given my mother $50 gift. I given my grandmother jewelry. And what does my other sibling does??? Absolutely nothing, and they compare me to him... whom was going to live with me.

I found out today that my grandmother called my mother and telling her that I am quitting my "minimum wage-restaurant job" and she said she's very embarrass of me. A grown person sleeping until 2 p.m., and that it looks like I am quitter. No it's not that... it's that I know I could make more somewhere else... I know what I can do with my time, and that job just suck.

My mother called me and gave a rant about, "you should work, you should work because I work those kind of jobs all my life and it adds up, what are they going to say **aunt/uncle; never given me anything either**, you're lazy, you're this/that" I am pissed because everything I done for them career-wise is for them, college-wise for them, and I feel like I screwed up my life to make them happy. This was the final straw, since I could leave this all behind. I feel in my heart they are just dragging me down, since I only wanted to stay in this state for my grandmother. But I feel like I need to mentally just disown them for my own sake.


I just don't know anymore if it's worth caring about their personal opinions....
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Perhaps it's time you stop talking/posting and start doing/acting. Success is very convincing and it will shut em up every time. Until then, you're just another shit-talking dreamer to them.
 

LibertyForMe

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MJ is spot on. I have a quote hanging up at my cubicle from a post that Kak made. It says:

"The problem comes when you are a talker and not a do'er. If these people see someone that doesn't even make a living on their own, how are they supposed to believe that you can do what you say and be financially free earlier in life or whatever you tell them?

F*ck em, you don't even need to prove yourself to them. The only thing you need to prove is your value to the marketplace. Then when you are playing golf while your "friends" or family are at work they will start to wonder. Then you can tell them that their shit doesn't work."

I read this every day, and I think that you can benefit from this too.

(Thanks Kak)
 

smarty

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You must detach and not identify yourself with what your family thinks or does towards you.
They would do better id they knew better. The very fact they didn't achieve much of any success in life tells you must raise your standard to yourself.
Some people do not know how to express and balance love in the family and some try to show or feel loved/connected to you by giving you a hard time.
I think you will find this video quite informative and valuable.

My father has been giving me a hard time for long, until I stopped caring about what he says or does because that's all he knows.
The only thing that's in your power and you have control over, is not how this should be, but what this means to you. If you live by other people's expectation, at the end of your life you will regret as hell.

And finally get a wise message from this kid who went viral this last week.

Look for a need/opportunity in the marketplace, make a decision to start doing it, and make this same decision to start every day until completion.

Usually losers are complainers. Study the marketplace and take action consistently without complaining until completion. If you can't you MUST!
You know you are on the winning side, so let go of your excuses and go become who you really are.
 
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socaldude

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:D


Others' opinion does not determine nor does it represent your reality or future.

What comes out of peoples mouth is of no significance whatsoever, nothing but a fart in the wind. Except your intended market.

5 years from now what some broke smart a$$ said isn't gonna mean anything, whats gonna matter is what you thought about YOURSELF and if you executed any form of business.
 

rocksolid

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Friends, parents, other brokers, they’re gonna give you shit.

It’s true. $150 a week? Not a lot of money.

Pay them no mind.

You need to learn this business, and this is the time to do it.

Once you pass the test, none of that’s gonna matter.

Your friends are shit.

Tell them you made 25 grand last month, they won’t F*cking believe you.

F*ck them! F*ck ‘em!

Parents don’t like the life you lead?
“F*ck you, Mom and Dad.”

See how it feels when you’re makin’ their F*ckin’ Lexus payments.
 

Lights

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Thanks.

I love them a lot, which is what bothers me the most. I am trying to make as much progress I can as far as this summer goes, bought ticket to California and all, which is the only way of getting ahead for me. It just my family won't understand anything even if I told them how I made it.

I am glad I am seeing the true colors of my grandma, since she is the only reason why I still live here in my homestate. I made a thread about this too... since SHE is the reason. But no more. I don't care anymore.

Like today she told me, "You don't mind me at all. You don't listen to me. You can do what you want" I am like... wtf-mentally.

This is going to be so painful, but F*ck them all.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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F*ck them all.

Sometimes this is the only answer.

At some point you have to decide to live your dream, or continue to live your family's vision for it.
 
G

GuestUser8117

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Stop talking to them for a while. That's what my sister did to me. She did not answer my questions or speak to me since the last 2 months. Not a single word. And I find it difficult but it's the way it is. Do you have friends? If so talk to them. A true friend understands and listens to your problems. You have dreams, but I'm sure if you accomplish them and be successful and you are far from your family you won't be happy as much as if you were surrounded by them. Remember the three F's : Fitness, Family/Friends and Freedom. If you don't have these, you lack something.
 

AmyQ

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Seven years ago, I dropped out of a top 25 law school, gave up a partial scholarship, and moved across the country to pursue a relationship with a man who became my husband.

At the time, my parents narrative about me was that I was a law school drop out. The were supportive, but understandably disappointed.

This fall, I am taking my parents on an all expense paid trip across Europe to celebrate my father's 70th birthday.

Their narrative about me is now that they are so happy I dropped out of law school, pursued my own dreams and found a great partner. Not because I am treating them to a trip, but because I have financial security, and a happy marriage, things they really wanted for me, and thought I was jeopardizing when I dropped out of law school.

The bottom line is that your family just wants the best for you. You might have to let go of their opinion of you as you create the life that you want, but I am sure that they will come around when the life you create matches or exceeds the life they want for you.
 
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teabag

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I know the feeling too well. When I withdrew from my bus/law degree last semester... My parents almost brought the roof down. I was called lazy and an embarrassment - and still am.

The university life style, is not for me, and it took me 2 years to realise that. I turned 22 earlier this month, and realised... I'm 22, what the F*ck am I doing with my life? Am I going to waste another 3 years at uni, scraping along barely getting credits and passes because I've got no passion for it... NO DRIVE.

Or

Am I going to take control and make myself some money? and actually DO something!

2 months ago I was awake till 4 am every morning watching movies or playing online games. Now? I'm still up till 4am... teaching my self SEO, reading advice from this forum, searching for manufacturers to finally start my business! Everyday I'm awake at 8.30am, gym, shower,breakfast and I get into it!


Also listening to this every morning gives me goosebumps and an adrenaline to continue my pursuit for success.

Arnies most important rule, DO!
[video=youtube;9Kg-zbJjlyA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kg-zbJjlyA[/video]

EDIT:

and the most important thing, your family cares for you. If they didn't you'd be sleeping in the street. Now do something!
 

Sir Ingenious

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Eh, I think of it like this: the very same people who shies away from you because you're a 'failure' (or weird, odd, whatever) in their eyes will be the very same people who will ask you for money (or pat you on the back, etc) when you strike your first million.

When this happens then you've won. Give them that money (since you've learned along the way that giving is better than receiving) and live YOUR life. And let them live theirs.

However, the crucial thing that's constant in all of this is yourself.

Why? You've chosen yourself because you can.

I think this should be treated as one of life's laws: pick yourself.
 

TK1

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You are born alone.

You will die alone.

Seek love in the market, not in the people "you love".

If you find love in the market and build your own legacy you will find out what real love is = being able to love yourself.

Sounds harsh, but: Try to subscribe to REALITY.

And:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/fastlane/42769-13m-bank-statement-left-cafe-message.html

People are very naive to seek love from other people.

Truth is: Most of us seek this love ONLY because we want love from them back. So we are JUST LIKE THEM.

If other people see a "use" in you, they will "love you".

Even if you are the biggest a**hole, if they want something from you, they will do everything to show you "how they love you" (just use every celebrity as an example).

PS: Most legacies,businesses,dreams etc. get killed because people get caught up in PERSONAL DRAMA. "My mother holds me back, why doesn't she love me?" or "I have 3 kids to feed, how in the world can I start another business?"

1. Define what you want
2. Actions
3. Ignore people and emotions
4. Use people and emotions while YOU being DETACHED from the typical "human stuff aka emotions"

PPS: The only love you should believe in life is a dog (if you really want to LOVE...)
 
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Last edited by a moderator:

Enki

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You are born alone.

You will die alone.

Seek love in the market, not in the people "you love".

If you find love in the market and build your own legacy you will find out what real love is = being able to love yourself.

Sounds harsh, but: Try to subscribe to REALITY.

And:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/fastlane/42769-13m-bank-statement-left-cafe-message.html

People are very naive to seek love from other people.

Truth is: Most of us seek this love ONLY because we want love from them back. So we are JUST LIKE THEM.

If other people see a "use" in you, they will "love you".

Even if you are the biggest a**hole, if they want something from you, they will do everything to show you "how they love you" (just use every celebrity as an example).

PS: Most legacies,businesses,dreams etc. get killed because people get caught up in PERSONAL DRAMA. "My mother holds me back, why doesn't she love me?" or "I have 3 kids to feed, how in the world can I start another business?"

1. Define what you want
2. Actions
3. Ignore people and emotions
4. Use people and emotions while YOU being DETACHED from the typical "human stuff aka emotions"

PPS: The only love you should believe in life is a dog (if you really want to LOVE...)

I'm going to use this philosophy. It seems inline with Friedrich Nietzsche.
 
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qewrtyass

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real visible action with soothing them.

but indeed it is hard to have them understand if you only planning/developing e-business that has nothing to do with physical/real world.
people and family would think, 'such a loser, playing laptop all the time, probably porn/game/surfing'.

its more easy for them (other people) to understand, if you meet real people, having meeting, contact real person by phone, go to custom, go to producer/distributor, get plenty stuff coming at your house, setting real shop, etc.
 

qewrtyass

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if your parents were healthy, i could say F*ck em.

but some have old, sick parents, which make things even harder to just simply ignore.
especially you were expected to be the next breadwinner.

you, and me too, need to go faster to the fastlane.

its been frustating, for me especially, only able to give my parents money worth only $US200 each month. this simply cannot give the life i always want my parents to live.
thats why i choose fastlane. do or die.

someday i hope i will be able to buy my parents really safe and healthy house with competent maids and natural-health-experts surround them. and take them vacation abroad often.
 
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