Lex DeVille
Sweeping Shadows From Dreams
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Hey fellow entrepreneurs...
I'm about 3 quarter through the book and I simply love it. Should have read it much sooner...
I have a problem now and thought I would seek advises from you guys.
In the book, MJ mentioned that sometimes, the greatest hurdle can be your co-driver. The person at the passenger seat next to you. I'm 31 years old this year and I currently run my own businesses. I have a company that does printing services, and one company that does photo booth for events and campaigns. This photo booth company has has a branch in Malaysia KL. So all in all, my time is split between this 3 businesses. The printing company is about 2 years old while the photo booth company is about 5 years old.
As of now, I feel that I am doing OK. I have a team and I'm trying my best to systemise the operations of the businesses (building the systems). We are making money (not super high profit), and personally I lead a OK life. I get to eat comfortably, travel overseas every now and then, and I even recently just bought a simple car too.
I'm married with no kids. My wife works as an analyst (Slowlane) in the finance and banking industry. And she earns way more than me. She earns about 20,000 a month. And this is excluding the hefty year end bonus. Whereas for me, as a business owner, on good days I draw a salary about 4,000. On down months, I don't even draw a salary. Haven't been drawing a salary since the start of 2019 In a way, my income is inconsistent.
Ever since we got married, we've been wanting to buy our own house. As my wife's income is high, she wants to buy a big fancy house. We are talking about a house that is 2 to 3 million. Something I can't afford for sure. I've been explaining to her that I need more time. Businesses need time to grow. I have plans to scale and grow the business. In fact, after reading the book, we are working on a customised software that can help fellow photo booth companies worldwide. We are also thinking of venturing to other regional countries and also doing franchising. All in all, I am optimistic about the future of the company. However, the thing is, my wife is getting impatient and it is hurting our marriage...
We have discussed things thoroughly and she suggest for her to foot the downpayment for the house while we split the monthly mortgage. But then again, that will means an average of about 3,000 a month for me alone just on mortgage... It will be very tough for me.... I told her how about we get a smaller and simpler house. She is adamant not to. Truth is, she is a very rational woman. She don't buy expensive branded bags etc. But she feel that a property is a long term investment and she wants to get it right. Oh, and she is very stubborn too.
The fact is when we got married, we've communicated together on this before. She at that time is very supportive of me becoming an entrepreneur. But I guess as time goes by, she is becoming impatient. I believe she is thinking "When are you going to make it?! When are you going to stop?! Stop investing your money anymore!"
I've been toying on the idea of giving up on my business and going back to work (back to the Slowlane) Reckoned that I can at least get a job that is about 6,000. Add on some side hustle, that should be sufficient for me.
The thing is, I love what I am doing. I love the process. I love my team and I want to do what I am doing. On the other side, I love my wife too.
I'm at a lost. Guess I am asking you where should I draw the line between giving up my dreams and giving up my marriage? Both are important to me.
This has been troubling me for a while. Anybody care to share some advise? Perhaps someone in a similar shoe before?
Many thanks in advance
Sorry to read you're going through this. I can relate to your situation. Something similar happened to me, although not with the house part. My wife has always supported me and me her. But there was a point when some things happened and she questioned where I was going. Questioned my words about how long it would take to get there. In short, there was a question of doubt.
It hurt a lot to see her faith waiver even for one second. Neither of us could've known how long it would take or what path each would go down when we started our relationship. But I told her when we started which path I was on and she chose to stick around. So my solution was to sit down and have a talk about it.
We talked about the things she wants and the things I want. Her wants were a bit unclear, but mine were not. So I reminded her that this is the path I chose and the path she supported me to go down. The time for doubting was past, and I will be on this path until the day I die (which may be never). She can be a part of that or not.
Things have been better since then. I don't know if this is a good solution really. It could cost our relationship, or maybe it won't. But I said I'd never give up on my dreams. Said it from the start and I meant it and I won't change that even if it means making sacrifices.
Don't know if this story will help you or not. It's just the option I chose - to be open, honest, and direct about it. But you already know none of us can tell you what to do. You have to figure that part out because it's your life. Hopefully you'll find your way through it with a positive outcome. Hopefully something in my words is useful for your situation. Either way, just wanted to let you know I can relate and you're not alone.
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