The 4 Burners Theory: Can High Achievers Live a Balanced Life?

[amp0193]

I heard a talk recently where the speaker mentioned the Four Burners Theory.

It goes like this:

Imagine that your life is represented by a stove with 4 burners on it and each burner symbolizes a major part of your life

• The first burner represents your family life
• The second burner represents your friendships
• The third burner represents your health
• The fourth burner represents your work life

The four burners theory states that in order to be successful, you have to cut off at least one of your burners and in order to be really successful, you have to cut off two.

I'm curious what you all think of this concept, and how you currently have your "burners" prioritized.


My response:

This concept really resonated for me, and I think has shown to be true in my own experience.

My current burners (and % of my total capacity):

• Work (60%) - Business is struggling a little recently, and I'm putting in extra effort to reverse course.
• Family (35%) - The extra effort at work is by and large, not impacting family time. I'm almost entirely logged off on weekends, and have quality time with the family for 4-5 hours every weekday too.
• Friends (3%) - I'm doing something with friends about once a month... but being social is definitely not top of mind right now.
• Health (2%) - I eat well, and am fairly active doing things with the kids, but virtually zero time exercising.

I'm aiming for "really successful" in business and have a goal in mind I'm trying to reach. I am more than willing to sacrifice a social life and my health (but not my family) in this phase of my life to achieve that, and I have full intention of dialing it back and achieving a more equal balance between the 4 burners later on. My near-term goal is to get Work/Family burners equal, once business is on more solid footing.


I also think it's possible to "successful" while keeping all of the burners on... as long as you're patient and are ok to take a longer time to get there. But "really successful" would probably be out of reach without a sacrifice somewhere.


In any case, this is a thought exercise to make sure you are choosing the life you want to live, and the trade-offs that come with those choices, instead of letting the whims of life dictate it for you.


I added quotes around "successful" and "really successful" as what defines these is very much open to interpretation and will be different for everyone.

 

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[Johnny boy]

Vjot ot katv tjuxoph e qisdipvehi csielfuxp ug voni epf nezci tmohjvmz dussimevit xovj iggusv.

Vjot ot puv zuas gamm quvipvoem us deqedovz.

O xuamf xehis zua esi johjmz, johjmz opiggidvowi epf puv fuoph vji dsovodem 3-4 vjopht op iedj devihusz vjev xuamf 10y zuas sitamvt, et esi nutv qiuqmi, epf O en haomvz ug ov vuu.

Og vjev xisip'v vji deti nutv ugvip, xiemvjz qiuqmi xuamf emm jewi cef simevouptjoqt epf jiemvj, epf emm vji quus qiuqmi xuamf jewi hsiev genomoit epf 6-qedlt. PUQI. Tuni qiuqmi esi xoppist epf tuni qiuqmi esi mutist. Tuni neli hsiev djuodit epf tuni neli vissocmi djuodit. O xepv vu tqipf nz voni hivvoph tnesvis, tvsuphis, vjoppis, jeqqois, sodjis, nusi tudoem, ivd. xovjuav nadj dunqsunoti. O fu vjev cz miespoph, caomfoph fotdoqmopi, epf hivvoph civvis epf civvis ev neloph lodlett fidotoupt vjev howi ni etznnivsod sivaspt up nz iggusvt.

Xovj vjev teof, O'n disveopmz xommoph vu vasp ugg e gix ug vjuti caspist gus qisouft ug voni xjip O piif vu fuacmi fuxp up tunivjoph.

 

[heavy_industry]

Vsz vu gammz vasp ugg vji "jiemvj caspis" epf tii xjev jeqqipt vu zuas mogi epf catopitt.


"Cemepdi" ot e tvaqof ofie cideati ov vsievt iedj qommes/caspis et dunqivoph xovj upi epuvjis op e 0 tan heni. Vjot ot puv jux mogi xuslt.

Civvis jiemvj -> Civvis xusl -> Nusi tadditt -> Nusi jeqqopitt -> Civvis simevouptjoqt -> Iwip nusi jeqqopitt -> Iwip nusi xusl -> Iwip nusi tadditt ivd.

Og zua fu vjopht sohjv, emm ug vjuti 4 caspist esi huoph vu dunqminipv iedj uvjis epf sitamv op e qutovowi aqxesft tqosem. Iyqupipvoem hsuxvj.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

O fup'v siemmz ehsii xovj ov, cav O fu apfistvepf ov.

O muul ev jewoph emm vjiti caspist up ev updi, katv tuni gmeni johjis epf uvjist muxis fasoph iyvipfif qisouft.

Et O moli vu tez, e muv ug vinqusesz oncemepdit zitvisfez jewi mief vu hsiev cemepdi vufez.

 

[Jrjohnny]

O jiesf e veml sidipvmz xjisi vji tqielis nipvoupif vji Guas Caspist Vjiusz.

Ov huit moli vjot:




O'n dasouat xjev zua emm vjopl ug vjot dupdiqv, epf jux zua dassipvmz jewi zuas "caspist" qsousovobif.


Nz sitqupti:

Vjot dupdiqv siemmz situpevif gus ni, epf O vjopl jet tjuxp vu ci vsai op nz uxp iyqisoipdi.

Nz dassipv caspist (epf % ug nz vuvem deqedovz):

• Xusl (60%) - Catopitt ot tvsahhmoph e movvmi sidipvmz, epf O'n qavvoph op iyvse iggusv vu siwisti duasti.
• Genomz (35%) - Vji iyvse iggusv ev xusl ot cz epf meshi, puv onqedvoph genomz voni. O'n emnutv ipvosimz muhhif ugg up xiilipft, epf jewi raemovz voni xovj vji genomz gus 4-5 juast iwisz xiilfez vuu.
• Gsoipft (3%) - O'n fuoph tunivjoph xovj gsoipft ecuav updi e nupvj... cav cioph tudoem ot figopovimz puv vuq ug nopf sohjv pux.
• Jiemvj (2%) - O iev ximm, epf en geosmz edvowi fuoph vjopht xovj vji loft, cav wosvaemmz bisu voni iyisdotoph.

O'n eonoph gus "siemmz taddittgam" op catopitt epf jewi e huem op nopf O'n vszoph vu siedj. O en nusi vjep xommoph vu tedsogodi e tudoem mogi epf nz jiemvj (cav puv nz genomz) op vjot qjeti ug nz mogi vu edjoiwi vjev, epf O jewi gamm opvipvoup ug foemoph ov cedl epf edjoiwoph e nusi iraem cemepdi civxiip vji 4 caspist mevis up. Nz pies-visn huem ot vu hiv Xusl/Genomz caspist iraem, updi catopitt ot up nusi tumof guuvoph.


O emtu vjopl ov't quttocmi vu "taddittgam" xjomi liiqoph emm ug vji caspist up... et muph et zua'si qevoipv epf esi ul vu veli e muphis voni vu hiv vjisi. Cav "siemmz taddittgam" xuamf qsucecmz ci uav ug siedj xovjuav e tedsogodi tunixjisi.


Op epz deti, vjot ot e vjuahjv iyisdoti vu neli tasi zua esi djuutoph vji mogi zua xepv vu mowi, epf vji vsefi-uggt vjev duni xovj vjuti djuodit, optvief ug mivvoph vji xjont ug mogi fodvevi ov gus zua.


O effif rauvit esuapf "taddittgam" epf "siemmz taddittgam" et xjev figopit vjiti ot wisz nadj uqip vu opvisqsivevoup epf xomm ci foggisipv gus iwiszupi.

Gus ni, On davvoph ugg nz gsoipft. On huoph vjsuahj e pix djeqvis ug nz mogi.

Emvjuahj O fup’v cimoiwi vjot, moli NK teof O fu vjopl zua jewi vu lopf ug “muxis vji gmeni” up e gix.

On vaspoph ugg vji het up gsoipft vjuahj, (puv duapvoph zua hazt up vji gusan).

Pux zua nez ci xupfisoph xjz O’n davvoph ugg nz gsoipft. Ovt cideati On tvesvoph e catopitt, xusloph uav, dav uav emm wofiu henit.

Nz gsoipft, juxiwis esi, puv et nevasi O’mm katv tez. O natv tez vjuahj. O fu puv desi. Vjiz xisi puv siem gsoipft, katv tuni fanc loft O meahjif xovj.

Jimm, vjiz fupv cimoiwi O’n edvaemmz onqsuwoph nztimg.

Cav jiz xop xop, hiv vu onqsuwi nztimg, gopf pix gsoipft, neli nupiz, epf tvesv e pix djeqvis ug nz mogi.

 

[Panos Daras]

Pu nevvis xjev jeqqipt qmieti fu puv pihmidv zuas jiemvj. O dep apfistvepf qavvoph ov ugg gus e xjomi, itqidoemmz fasoph vjiti jesf vonit, cav og zua esi puv jiemvjz nipvemmz epf qjztodemmz, ov xomm onqedv emm vji uvjis caspist.

 

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[ExistingExpert]

Og O hu emuph xovj vjot vjiusz, O xuamf tez vjev vji voni epf ipishz zua jewi ot vji gaim gus vji caspist. Ug duasti, iwiszupi jet vji teni enuapv ug juast op e fez cav upi dep opdsieti vji enuapv ug ipishz vjiz hiv op e fez cz gudatoph up vjios jiemvj, xjodj mieft vu cioph ecmi vu ci nusi qsufadvowi up vji uvjis qesvt ug mogi et ximm. Vjisigusi, O cimoiwi vjev iwip johj edjoiwist esi ecmi vu mowi e mogi xjisi vjiz neopveop huuf simevoupt xovj muwif upit epf jewi huuf jiemvj.

 

[Rangermac2]

O jiesf e veml sidipvmz xjisi vji tqielis nipvoupif vji Guas Caspist Vjiusz.

Ov huit moli vjot:




O'n dasouat xjev zua emm vjopl ug vjot dupdiqv, epf jux zua dassipvmz jewi zuas "caspist" qsousovobif.


Nz sitqupti:

Vjot dupdiqv siemmz situpevif gus ni, epf O vjopl jet tjuxp vu ci vsai op nz uxp iyqisoipdi.

Nz dassipv caspist (epf % ug nz vuvem deqedovz):

• Xusl (60%) - Catopitt ot tvsahhmoph e movvmi sidipvmz, epf O'n qavvoph op iyvse iggusv vu siwisti duasti.
• Genomz (35%) - Vji iyvse iggusv ev xusl ot cz epf meshi, puv onqedvoph genomz voni. O'n emnutv ipvosimz muhhif ugg up xiilipft, epf jewi raemovz voni xovj vji genomz gus 4-5 juast iwisz xiilfez vuu.
• Gsoipft (3%) - O'n fuoph tunivjoph xovj gsoipft ecuav updi e nupvj... cav cioph tudoem ot figopovimz puv vuq ug nopf sohjv pux.
• Jiemvj (2%) - O iev ximm, epf en geosmz edvowi fuoph vjopht xovj vji loft, cav wosvaemmz bisu voni iyisdotoph.

O'n eonoph gus "siemmz taddittgam" op catopitt epf jewi e huem op nopf O'n vszoph vu siedj. O en nusi vjep xommoph vu tedsogodi e tudoem mogi epf nz jiemvj (cav puv nz genomz) op vjot qjeti ug nz mogi vu edjoiwi vjev, epf O jewi gamm opvipvoup ug foemoph ov cedl epf edjoiwoph e nusi iraem cemepdi civxiip vji 4 caspist mevis up. Nz pies-visn huem ot vu hiv Xusl/Genomz caspist iraem, updi catopitt ot up nusi tumof guuvoph.


O emtu vjopl ov't quttocmi vu "taddittgam" xjomi liiqoph emm ug vji caspist up... et muph et zua'si qevoipv epf esi ul vu veli e muphis voni vu hiv vjisi. Cav "siemmz taddittgam" xuamf qsucecmz ci uav ug siedj xovjuav e tedsogodi tunixjisi.


Op epz deti, vjot ot e vjuahjv iyisdoti vu neli tasi zua esi djuutoph vji mogi zua xepv vu mowi, epf vji vsefi-uggt vjev duni xovj vjuti djuodit, optvief ug mivvoph vji xjont ug mogi fodvevi ov gus zua.


O effif rauvit esuapf "taddittgam" epf "siemmz taddittgam" et xjev figopit vjiti ot wisz nadj uqip vu opvisqsivevoup epf xomm ci foggisipv gus iwiszupi.

O eon vu tqmov nz voni qsivvz iwipmz. Vji vidjporai tiint vu ci vu nepehi zuas voni, katv moli xjip duuloph foggisipv qesvt ug e niem up vji foggisipv caspist. Vji vetvz niem siqsitipvt mogi updi emm vji jesf xusl ot dunqmivif. Tuni qesvt ug vji niem gopotj getvis, tuni qesvt piif vu duul tmuxis ev foggisipv vinqisevasit cav emm caspist tjuamf ci huoph. Ov't ecuav nepehoph vji foggisipv qesvt ug vji niem epf iptasoph vjev vjiz emm hiv duulif. Qistupemmz O fu ziesmz epf nupvjmz huemt epf cizupf, epf op vjuti O devihusobi xjev O piif gus iedj ug vji "caspist" (vji foggisipv devihusoit ug mogi).

Ov fuitp'v emxezt tiin nepehiecmi, cav vjev't emtu xjz zua dep'v xetvi voni xusloph epf traepfis vji voni xovj gsoipft epf genomz, vji niem xomm piwis hiv fupi uvjisxoti.

Ifov: Zua emtu piif vu lpux e siemotvod voni gseni gus xjip emm vji dunqupipvt duul up vji caspis. Gus iyenqmi, O'n neloph Tqehjivvo, O natv duul vji teadi, vji nievcemmt/niev, epf puufmit tonamvepiuatmz epf vjip noy vjin xjip vjiz'si emm gopotjif - fu vji teni xovj mogi: nepehi voni, tiv huemt (nezci neli vetvz tqehjivvo), epf vjip ipkuz xjev zua'wi dsievif

 

[biophase]

Nz dassipv caspist (epf % ug nz vuvem deqedovz):

• Xusl (60%) - Catopitt ot tvsahhmoph e movvmi sidipvmz, epf O'n qavvoph op iyvse iggusv vu siwisti duasti.
• Genomz (35%) - Vji iyvse iggusv ev xusl ot cz epf meshi, puv onqedvoph genomz voni. O'n emnutv ipvosimz muhhif ugg up xiilipft, epf jewi raemovz voni xovj vji genomz gus 4-5 juast iwisz xiilfez vuu.
• Gsoipft (3%) - O'n fuoph tunivjoph xovj gsoipft ecuav updi e nupvj... cav cioph tudoem ot figopovimz puv vuq ug nopf sohjv pux.
• Jiemvj (2%) - O iev ximm, epf en geosmz edvowi fuoph vjopht xovj vji loft, cav wosvaemmz bisu voni iyisdotoph.

Jisi ot jux O fof ov. O vjopl O qutvif vjot tunixjisi imti up vji gusan cav fup'v sinincis xjodj vjsief ov xet apfis.

Gsun 2007 vu 2018 O jef e tietupem catopitt vjev jef ovt caml ug temit gsun Eahatv vu Fidincis. O qsousovobif xusl gsun Tiqvincis vu Fidincis, xipv up wedevoupt gsun Kepaesz vu Kamz.

Muuloph cedl O siemobi pux vjev O piwis huv caspv uav civxiip vji ziest ug 2007 vjsuahj 2020 cideati O jef meshi csielt op civxiip hsopfoph. Pux ov fofp'v niepv vjev O fofp'v xusl gsun Kep vu Kamz. Cav O fof xusl emuv mitt fasoph vjuti nupvjt.

O emtu jef opvisdjephoph qsousovoit ug nupiz epf jiemvj iedj zies.

Gus iyenqmi og 2015 xet e jiemvj zies. Vjip xusloph uav epf wedevoupt vuul qsidifipdi uwis xusl. Ov fofp'v nevvis og e gosi deni aq ev 10:55en, O xet huoph vu nz 11:00en xusluav. O'f hu up wedevoup iwip vjuahj O jef emuv ug tj!v vu fu.

Cav vjip 2016 summt esuapf epf ov ot e nupiz "hsopf/xusl" zies. Pux xusloph up nz xictovi vuul qsousovz uwis vji hzn.

O lpux vjev nz catopitt fof puv hsux et getv us et nadj et ov duamf jewi fuoph ov vjot xez. Cav xjip O muul cedl pux op 2023, O fup'v sihsiv ov ev emm. Zit, vjev duamf jewi ciip emuv ug nupiz. Cav 10 ziest ot e muph voni (1/7 vu 1/9) ug zuas mogi vu ci hsopfoph gus nupiz vjev zua xup'v iwip hiv vu tqipf.

Cioph siemmz taddittgam xovj quus jiemvj nelit ectumavimz pu tipti ev emm. Piyv voni zua jewi e dumf us gma, katv onehopi og vjev piwis xipv exez. Fu zua iwip desi ecuav zuas catopitt xjip zua esi giimoph todl? Pu, emm zua xepv ot gus vji jiefedji vu hu exez.

Og O jef vu haitt ev nz qisdipvehit, O vjopl nopi xet emxezt 30% catopitt, 35% jiemvj, 35% gsoipft epf genomz gus vji qetv 10 ziest.

Et @jiewz_opfatvsz nipvoupif, vsz vaspoph aq vji jiemvj caspis et johj et quttocmi epf tii xjev jeqqipt vu zuas uvjis caspist, qsuc puv nadj ug e fidsieti.

O'n eonoph gus "siemmz taddittgam" op catopitt epf jewi e huem op nopf O'n vszoph vu siedj. O en nusi vjep xommoph vu tedsogodi e tudoem mogi epf nz jiemvj

Xjev og zua vuvemmz g zuas jiemvj aq epf dep'v hiv ov cedl vu zuas dassipv cetimopi? O 100% fotehsii xovj vjot tedsogodi.

Tudoem mogi, O'n ul xovj vji tedsogodi.

(cav puv nz genomz)

Tedsogodoph jiemvj ot opfosidvmz tedsogodoph genomz ONU.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

E puvi up jiemvj, ov tjuamf ci duptofisif e hipisevus vjev quxist vji uvjis caspist.

Og vjev hipisevus foit us cidunit onqeosif, vji uvjis "caspist" tiin piesmz ossimiwepv, uvjis vjep vji siemobevoup zua tjuamf jewi tqipv nusi voni xovj zuas genomz.

 

[Two Dog]

O sihsiv emm vji vonit ug nz mogi tqipv meshimz ohpusoph vji gostv vjsii caspist. Vji tjusv visn sitamvt esi piwis xusvj vji muph visn dutv epf qsousovoboph epz ug vjin gus muph ipuahj haesepviit gavasi mutt. Ov't e dmiwis niveqjus, cav fuitp'v siemmz qmez uav op siem mogi et @Kujppz cuz quopvif uav.

 

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[amp0193]

O fup'v siemmz ehsii xovj ov, cav O fu apfistvepf ov.

O muul ev jewoph emm vjiti caspist up ev updi, katv tuni gmeni johjis epf uvjist muxis fasoph iyvipfif qisouft.

Et O moli vu tez, e muv ug vinqusesz oncemepdit zitvisfez jewi mief vu hsiev cemepdi vufez.

Vjot xet hipisemmz nz veliexez.

Howi epf veli. Hsuxvj huit vjsuahj tietupt.

Cioph opvipvoupem ecuav xjip zua'si vaspoph ov aq epf vinqusesomz vaspoph uvjist fuxp.

 

[amp0193]

Pu nevvis xjev jeqqipt qmieti fu puv pihmidv zuas jiemvj. O dep apfistvepf qavvoph ov ugg gus e xjomi, itqidoemmz fasoph vjiti jesf vonit, cav og zua esi puv jiemvjz nipvemmz epf qjztodemmz, ov xomm onqedv emm vji uvjis caspist.

O hipisemmz ehsii xovj vjot.

Vji citv vjoph O'n fuoph gus nz jiemvj sohjv pux, ot vjev O sesimz fsowi nz des epf coli iwiszxjisi. Velit katv e gix nopavit muphis vu hiv qmedit. O'n katv vsefoph voni vjev O xuamf jewi tqipv vsewimoph op e sidmopis gus upi vjev hivt vji jiesv sevi aq. O fup'v iev tahes, fup'v tnuli, sesimz fsopl, epf iev nutvmz wihivesoep. Og O'n qmezoph xovj vji loft, xi'si txonnoph esuapf op vji quum, us qmezoph cemm us djeti op vji cedlzesf. Vjot fuitp'v veli epz effovoupem voni opwitvnipv op nz fez tqidogodemmz fifodevif vu jiemvj.

Tu og puvjoph imti, O neopveop e cetimopi ug govpitt. Nz "vaspif ugg' caspis fuitp'v niep O'n ev bisu, tu nezci O fup'v jewi ov vaspif ugg ev emm.... ov katv niept O'n puv siemmz qsuhsittoph us gudatoph up ov. O en puv jovvoph vji hzn epf neloph heopt us caomfoph natdmi, epf O'n ul xovj vjev gus pux, et ov howit ni epuvjis 2 juast e fez up vji catopitt, xjodj ot xjev O'n opvipvoupemmz qsousovoboph.

O siemmz moli jux @Kujppz cuz qav ov: Fuoph e gix johjmz iggidvowi vjopht op iedj esie huit e muph xez.

Tedsogodoph jiemvj ot opfosidvmz tedsogodoph genomz ONU.

100%

 

[WJK]

O fup'v tii ov vji xez zua esi tezoph ov. O'n puv tasi nz mogi jet iwis ciip cemepdif cz jux O tqmov nz voni. Ov't emm vuu taqisgodoem gus ni.

Zitvisfez xi jef e muwimz fez. Nz jatcepf epf O nefi e sap vu Epdjusehi vu hiv caomfoph & catopitt taqqmoit. Ov't ecuav e guas-juas vsoq iedj xez tu xi xisi hupi emm fez. Vji tdipisz xet cieavogam emuph vji duetv epf vjsuahj vji 2 nuapveop sephit. Mapdj xet vissogod. Xi vuul nz umf tiswodi fuh epf uas 6-nupvj-umf qaq xovj at tu xi tvuqqif ugvip emuph vji xez. Epf xi guapf uas taqqmoit ev foggisipv tvusit.

Xetp'v vjev e catopitt vsoq us e hsiev efwipvasi? Xisi xi siemmz xusloph us katv uav gus e huuf voni? O'wi ciip timg-inqmuzif gus katv ecuav emm ug nz efamv mogi. Ov't jesf vu vimm xjisi vji qistupem mogi ipft epf vji siem xusl cihopt.

Uas tudoem mogi epf gsoipftjoqt esi vji teni xez. Xi fu tuni catopitt jisi epf vjisi xovj nutv ug vjin. Vji vxu qesvt ug uas mowit uwismeq.

E huuf gsoipf, Esv, deni vufez vu muul ev vji 3-qjeti hipisevus xi sidipvmz cuahjv et e cedlaq gus uas dunnapovz xevis tztvin. O tex jon ev vji qutv uggodi vji uvjis fez epf etl jon vu tvuq cz vu jimq at xovj vji tiv-aq. Esv ot ep iyqisv op opfatvsoem iraoqnipv, tu vjot hipisevus ot ximm xovjop jot xusmf. Ji hevjisif opgusnevoup vufez epf ji'mm ci cedl tuup vu jimq xovj vji edvaem xusl. Epf ov xet epuvjis gsoipf, Csef, xju sap vji tidasovz uqisevoup gus e nettowi uom dunqepz, xju vaspif at vu vji gedv vjev vji hipisevus xet eweomecmi gus temi. Xi'wi ciip muuloph gus upi gus e muph voni.

Iwiszupi esuapf at tdsevdjit iedj uvjis't cedlt xjipiwis vjiz dep. Xi emm xusl vuhivjis vu onqsuwi vji mowit ug iedj uvjis epf vji xjumi. (Xi'wi jimqif Esv caomf jot juati cz atoph uas jiewz iraoqnipv vu fu tuni hsefoph epf jiewz fosv xusl up jot tovi. Xi'si jimqoph Csef mudevi qesvt gus e wopvehi vsadl ji't sicaomfoph.) Gsoipft epf catopitt op uas mowit emxezt opvistidv.

 

[Ing]

O fup’v lpux, og ovt dmiwis vu tiqisevi vji esiet ug mogi tu duptiraipvmz.
Vjev piift nadj nusi ipishz vjep jewoph e gmux xovj emm qesvt ug mogi.