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Sleeping with the "enemy"

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Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
Jul 28, 2013
I've recently started organizing things for a new business, my current business pays me very well and allows me a lot of freedom, ok great. But this new business is a result of a new mindset and a new goal, to learn from my previous mistakes and to go for no less than what I really want in life. I want to go beyond survival with business into really living.

But during these starting stages of organising a few people to get on board and discussing the plans, I noticed that I have become extremely bossy. As in, I HAMMER down on points in a way that will allow nothing to budge it, so for example most of the people I'm bringing in want to do things the old slow way, the way I know will only produce mediocre results like in my current business. I am against the old ways cuz I think it is a waste of time and energy and thinking poor. "Oh please sir can I have some more gruel" Oliver twist style. No way!

I've always been against bosses, and bossing people around, but, now I'm becoming the thing I hated. It is bothersome, so I asked some close friends and they said "you are just very aware of mistakes" and I have had to conceed to myself that acting bossy will just have to happen in order to set up my new business, but I am thinking of something else too.

I think that people in general starting business are maybe bossy for OPINIONS not facts. I think opinion based bossyness can be toxic and destroy companys? But I do not for sure know this due to my limited experience. However, I suspect that in order to be "bossy" in anyway, you need to have a VERY HIGH STANDARD to qualify your thoughts on, or else you are just being abrasive. Then when the standard is met, bossyness should calm down a bit.

I find this transition phase quite uncomfortable, it feels akin to sleeping with an enemy. But I understand its purpose. I think Elon Musk is a good boss, I think he's rational and firm, but always too busy fixing problems to be overbearing.

I kind of hate to "come on board" with bossy behaviour cuz Ive seen it done so wrong before
But I guess you gotta break some eggshells to make an ommelate at some point
Ideals = crushed
To some extent

I find that a bit sad, but ultimately ok
I don't think anyone should eagerly WANT to be bossy, I think it is more a burden...
A result of caring too much to let failure take place.

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Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Mar 14, 2012
Michigan, Arizona
I would not worry as much. It sounds like you are on the right track. The best bosses in high-growth companies are demanding and lead by example.

People want such bosses. This is why they applied for the job at your company in the first place. If they do not want a boss they should start their own company. If they want a disengaged boss they should go work for the government or something.

I was going to bring up Elon Musk, but you have beat me to it.

Set goals for yourself and others. Make them clear. Let your people surprise you with their creativity about how they go about achieving these goals. Maintain integrity. Strive for a lot of respect, and perhaps a bit of fear and a bit of love. If the company does well, and the employees share the success, then there should be no problems.
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