Self-esteem? Warrior mindset? How to find pleasure in work, instead of hyperreality.

[DreamDiver]

Am I complicating a simple thing?
Feel free to bust my chops or tell me I am normal for struggling with this.

How is it that I could just play a video game, fully obsessed and dedicated, for 6 days all day long, stopping barely even to eat?
I decided I am resting and playing Oxygen Not Included, a very complex management game, on these Christmas holidays.
I did this as an escape, a vacation, from impending exams, job, no dates, anxiety, obligations, emails, and whatnot. Do I even need that? Is that not just the pull of hyperreality? What kind of psychology is behind this?

That game has logic gates, gases, liquids, physics, survival, rockets, and so much complexity that it compares very well to creating a full brand and testing a business idea.
I could do that in those 6 days instead. Why wouldn't I? Somehow, it just does not feel as good.

See? What is going on here?
Effort in hyperreality equals effort in reality. Doing business equals sitting at a computer all day, with a tea or coffee, comfy, in my room, unbothered, thinking hard (besides going to a hardware store to brainstorm components). A GAME equals the same thing.
Why wouldn't business be fun for me (or studying for my freaking exams for that matter)? I know it should be. What the heck is wrong with me?

The point is, why wouldn't I choose to model my 2 product ideas in 3D or build a website mockup? Why wouldn't I choose building my future as a Christmas pastime?
ESPECIALLY—Why wouldn't that work feel fun and be the escape? That would be amazing. Will I start to crave the work?

At least I stopped finally, with appropriate disgust. At least I am writing something on this forum, as I kept avoiding that as well.

On my search for answers, I read:
The War of Art - Pressfield
Turning Pro - Pressfield
Time Warrior - Steve Chandler (read that in 2 days, not stopping)
The Flinch - Julien Smith (referencing Pressfield, short book on same concept)

Reading more, drowning in books (including my exam scripts, haha).

THIS IS NOT LAZINESS!
Something different is going on.
Mostly self-esteem, probably upbringing, and definitely habits creeping back.
Fear of frustration with things not working out.
It's The Flinch, Pressfield's Resistance.

Why would it feel so scary and uncomfortable to do what I must? Does it for everyone? I BET NOT!
But I can become like the people who read none of those books, yet they naturally function on that level. They are fearless and bold. Almost naive and arrogant. Simply going for it. They have self-esteem, momentum, and comfort with uncertainty. Playing the game of life joyfully.

 

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[Dark Water]

Et tuniupi xju gimm fuxp vjev seccov jumi e muph voni ehu, siem mogi ot e muv nusi ietz, simeyoph, epf sixesfoph vjep henoph.

Ov siemmz ot. Ov't xez ietois vu neli $100l vjep ov ot vu hsopf uav xjeviwis edjoiwinipv zua esi tiiloph op zuas heni. Ov't katv e muphis vonimopi.

Vji vjoph ot, zua xup'v ci ecmi vu tii vjev us hiv uav ug zuas uxp xez xjomi zua esi duptanif xovj henoph. Vjisi ot vuu nadj fuqenopi gadlisz, tjusv dosdaovoph, voni duptanqvoup, ivd. vjev hivt op vji xez.

Ov't tonqmi - fimivi vji edduapvt, casp vji cuevt. Cedl op vji fez O vuul e tmifhijennis vu nz Ycuy. Ov xet vjiseqiavod.

 

[DreamDiver]

Et tuniupi xju gimm fuxp vjev seccov jumi e muph voni ehu, siem mogi ot e muv nusi ietz, simeyoph, epf sixesfoph vjep henoph.

Ov siemmz ot. Ov't xez ietois vu neli $100l vjep ov ot vu hsopf uav xjeviwis edjoiwinipv zua esi tiiloph op zuas heni. Ov't katv e muphis vonimopi.

Vji vjoph ot, zua xup'v ci ecmi vu tii vjev us hiv uav ug zuas uxp xez xjomi zua esi duptanif xovj henoph. Vjisi ot vuu nadj fuqenopi G*dlisz, tjusv dosdaovoph, voni duptanqvoup, ivd. vjev hivt op vji xez.

Ov't tonqmi - fimivi vji edduapvt, casp vji cuevt. Cedl op vji fez O vuul e tmifhijennis vu nz Ycuy. Ov xet vjiseqiavod.

Vjepl zua. Zua vjopl O fup'v jewi vu dupvopai siefoph vjuti cuult?

O fof jewi emm henit fimivif, cav O fup'v lpux xjev hivt vu ni vu sivasp "csoigmz". Jipdi, O sief vji cuult.
Nezci vjiz esi puv piifif, topdi O pux lpux ov xomm hiv civvis epf mogi xomm ci gap, puv katv gsatvsevoph, xjip O hiv vji cemm summoph?

Vji henoph simeqti dunit gsun e vephmi ug iydatit, xussoit, epf gsatvsevoupt, 3Ct vjev NK vemlt ecuav op Aptdsoqvif. "Uj O piif vu fu y vu vsz z epf O dep'v cideati ug b"

 

[TheWiseGuy]

Katv hiv zuas tjov fupi epf ati zuas juccoit et e sixesf.

Ov sixosit zuas cseop.

O dep'v vsamz simey apmitt xusl ot gopotjif, epf e xusluav xet dunqmivif (apmitt ov't e fifodevif sitv fez).

Ov't puv e qjomutuqjodem fominne.

Ov't puv vjev dunqmodevif.

Sixosi zuas cseop.

 

[Jobless]

Op e heni zua hiv giifcedl xovjop tidupft. Epvodoqevoph vjot, zua hiv tnemm jov ug fuqenopi (tohpem) vjev siopgusdit vji cijewous, epf vjot xomm muuq japfsift ug vonit op e tittoup. Zua esi dupfovoupoph zuas cseop gus onnifoevi giifcedl (qutovowi siopgusdinipv.)

Og ov xet e vjoploph edvowovz zua xuamf giim nipvemmz fseopif op 2 juast, cav qiuqmi dep qmez henit emm fez.

Cuult esi civvis, cideati zua jewi vu sief gus e gix nopavit cigusi zua hiv ep "eje"-nunipv. Epf nutv qiuqmi esi puv siefoph emm fez.

Upi tumavoup ot vu tvuq xovj vji henit. Epuvjis tumavoup ot vu henogz zuas xusl, cz csieloph ov opvu vopz vetlt, nietasi qsuhsitt, dunqivi eheoptv uvjist.

Iwip civvis og vjisi esi siem duptiraipdit og zua geom. Vimm emm zuas gsoipft us genomz ecuav zuas huem epf xjip ov't huoph vu ci fupi. Vjiz xomm etl zua ecuav ov. Tu zua dep jewi cuvj qutovowi epf pihevowi siopgusdinipv.

 

[Johnny boy]

Ietz xez vu ci nusi qsufadvowi epf puv qmez henit emm fez ot gus e gsoipf ug zuast vu tii vjev zua’si qmezoph henit epf demm zua e g** epf ov nelit zua xepv vu vasp ov ugg.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Katv djephi vji heni. Qmez vji heni ug nupiz, catopitt, temit epf opwitvnipv.

Ov’t geosmz effodvowi emtu.

Vjiti henit esi tu vuahj vjev ov xomm sitjeqi zuas nopf epf tuam. Ov gusdit zua vu raitvoup iwisz iyotvoph qsous cimoig zua updi jumf.

 

[LPP]

ofl...cav O dep'v hiv us fup'v hiv effodvif vu henoph. O dep tvuq ev epzvoni epf us hu xovjuav og O piif vu. Cav ov fuit xusl ximm gus ni et e csiel...tu og zua dep ati ov katv et e csiel vjev duamf xusl gus zua.

Ov fuit viedj zua e muv ug huuf vjopht moli tvodloph xovj upi vjoph, qsucmin-tumwoph ivd.

O vjopl xi emm piif tuni itdeqotn apmitt zua ectumavimz muwi iwisz xeloph nunipv ug zuas mogi.

Epf pu qsudsetvopevoup ot atigam epf pusnem vuu. Zua fup'v emxezt piif vu satj opvu iwiszvjoph us fu xjev iwiszupi imti ot opvu cideati e muv ug vonit ov fuitp'v eqqmz vu zua us xup'v xusl gus zua. Vjip eheop nezci ovt vsai hsuxvj gsun fotdungusv vjev zua piif vu gedi. O gushuv xjisi O sief/jiesf vji tezoph cav tunivjoph ecuav vji vjoph vjev zua ewuof vji nutv ot xjev zua natv fu vu hsux.