marcospolaca
PARKED
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2011
- Messages
- 14
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$70
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Hi I'm Mateo!
(Marcos is my longtime net alias)
I got the book, not quite finished with it. My situation seems very similar to MJs, so I'm glad I picked it up.
Background Info
I freelanced making game art (mostly mobile games). Trying to turn that into a business and divorce it from my time. That's working to a point, but it's not very scalable.
I want to move away from service based offerings to products. (or anything that doesn't rely on time) I'm not sure how to do that without jamming up cash flow though. You don't get anywhere if you only have a few minutes a week to develop something new.
I get seasonal depression. (I live in New York) So Nov-April I can't work reliably. So I may be great one day, contract a bunch of work, then not get out of bed for two weeks. Trying to move to Lima... just need to get enough cash for a plane ticket and a apartment deposit, and sell all my crap here in NY.
On top of SAD, I get reactive anxiety/depression. Something bad happens - project overdue, cash gets low, ect... and I freak out. I don't know how to be creative when I'm anxious/depressed, so things get stalled, which makes me more anxious/depressed, which stalls things even more, ect. Small financial hiccups cause a quick downward emotional spiral that sometimes lasts months.
It's not avoidance per se, it's more my brain turns to mush, and staring blankly at a computer screen for 8 hours a day doesn't help my finances. I can't 'force' myself to do things if I don't know what to do to begin with.
Also, I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I'm just now trying to leave. As a JW I was forbidden (ok, 'strongly discouraged') from having any friends outside the group, and once I leave, JWs are forbidden (yes, actually forbidden) from ever speaking to me. So that means zero friends and family.
I can't overstate how traumatic this is. It's as if everyone you've ever known all died at once. On top of that, you have to rethink every decision you've ever made, because so far the only thing you've done is advance the interests of the JW organization. (literally work full time for free, while they keep the profits)
It was worth it to leave, but emotionally it's still a big hit. Getting out of NY (and off the continent) will help, but I'm trying to build up as many positive relationships as possible. I don't need any more naysayers telling me my life is worthless... I've had nearly 30 years of that, and I'm ready for a change.
Anyway, my question for all of you (and maybe this belongs in another post), is how do you stay productive while dealing with all the emotions of failure/uncertainty? Specifically, how do you stay creative/motivated?
(Marcos is my longtime net alias)
I got the book, not quite finished with it. My situation seems very similar to MJs, so I'm glad I picked it up.
Background Info
I freelanced making game art (mostly mobile games). Trying to turn that into a business and divorce it from my time. That's working to a point, but it's not very scalable.
I want to move away from service based offerings to products. (or anything that doesn't rely on time) I'm not sure how to do that without jamming up cash flow though. You don't get anywhere if you only have a few minutes a week to develop something new.
I get seasonal depression. (I live in New York) So Nov-April I can't work reliably. So I may be great one day, contract a bunch of work, then not get out of bed for two weeks. Trying to move to Lima... just need to get enough cash for a plane ticket and a apartment deposit, and sell all my crap here in NY.
On top of SAD, I get reactive anxiety/depression. Something bad happens - project overdue, cash gets low, ect... and I freak out. I don't know how to be creative when I'm anxious/depressed, so things get stalled, which makes me more anxious/depressed, which stalls things even more, ect. Small financial hiccups cause a quick downward emotional spiral that sometimes lasts months.
It's not avoidance per se, it's more my brain turns to mush, and staring blankly at a computer screen for 8 hours a day doesn't help my finances. I can't 'force' myself to do things if I don't know what to do to begin with.
Also, I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I'm just now trying to leave. As a JW I was forbidden (ok, 'strongly discouraged') from having any friends outside the group, and once I leave, JWs are forbidden (yes, actually forbidden) from ever speaking to me. So that means zero friends and family.
I can't overstate how traumatic this is. It's as if everyone you've ever known all died at once. On top of that, you have to rethink every decision you've ever made, because so far the only thing you've done is advance the interests of the JW organization. (literally work full time for free, while they keep the profits)
It was worth it to leave, but emotionally it's still a big hit. Getting out of NY (and off the continent) will help, but I'm trying to build up as many positive relationships as possible. I don't need any more naysayers telling me my life is worthless... I've had nearly 30 years of that, and I'm ready for a change.
Anyway, my question for all of you (and maybe this belongs in another post), is how do you stay productive while dealing with all the emotions of failure/uncertainty? Specifically, how do you stay creative/motivated?
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