<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 125467" data-quote="Jrjohnny" data-source="post: 1134111"
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Well. Some people really just don’t change.<br />
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I’ve been going to the gym for a year now, and started getting my friends to go! And I spent so long helping them get their memberships, and long and behold, whenever I tried to schedule a time to go, I’m ghosted.<br />
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I thought they were all busy, but then my other friend told me that their all just ignoring me and don’t want to go.<br />
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I’m struggling with processing this, just when I thought I could get close with my old friends and relate to someone.<br />
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I really have no clue why I’m struggling with this. Just going to try my best to get through it.
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</blockquote>You've been carrying the weight of responsibility for their choices because you deeply care for them. You "tied" yourself to them, then "hoisted" then up on your back and you've been carrying this hope of their future around with you everywhere. <br />
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Then you realize all this work you've done has been AGAINST them because they've been secretly cutting the ropes whenever you aren't looking. That's a betrayal of your hopes.<br />
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Now you have to grieve the loss of that emotional weight which feels like a huge absence. You cared about them. You're a good person. But empathizing with other people doesn't change them. <br />
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Moral: You shouldn't try to coerce or motivate or "help" people to make their own choices. <b>Just make your own choices.</b> People will follow you or get out of your way or attack you. But you'll be stronger, regardless.</div>
