I have this kind of phobia against gifts. That is:
Say my family, friends or anyone else wants to give me money for free (a gift, donation whatever you want to call it). When someone tries to give me money (without any kind of return on it) I get this kind of big mental wall coming up around me and I can't accept it. It feels terribly akward for me to accept gifts without giving some kind of a service in return. It's like the Trojan Horse to me: "If I take this money, what will they in turn ask me to do later down the road". Free gifts is the oldest trick in the book when it comes to manipulation. Really, it is.
I don't know why this is, but I can certainly say that this is a really well programmed habit from the time I was a small boy (not that long ago
). My dad, dead at this date unfortunately, was very harsh. He drilled me well when it came to not trusting people who give you something for free. Many would say this is a good habit. I would say yes, if you are a small boy and do not want to be raped in the shady basement of some lunatic. Then yes.
But if you are in my age 23 years old this year. Then you got some real issues. And if you are an entrepreneur you are really passing things up. I mean, any sane entrepreneur would gladly recieve services for free, products for free, labor forces for free. It is just in your own self interest to do so, really. But for me, this is a cripling handicap.
I just recently (yesterday) wrote one post on the thread about Machiavellian people and how I scored high on that particular test. Some people might think "Well, if you recieved a high score on the Machiavellian test, then how on earth can you then write that you have a hard time accepting gifts?". The difference ladies and gentlemen is that there is a hugh difference between cunningly gain money in business on a strategic way than getting it through a simple gift from someone. Gifts and business strategy that results in money in the bank is two separate things to me. Gifts is something people actually want you to take, Machiavellian maneuvers is something you earn through cleverness. Not free that is.
So in short: free meals might not be something I believe in? Can that be it? And if so, is that really such a smart thought to have engrained in the sub-concious? Wouldn't it be smarter to just say: "Ok, give me the cash. Thanks"?
I just wanted to see if I am the only weirdo on this forum with this kind of weird phobia of actually recieving help without any monetary return for the help I recieve.
I mean, read this: I actually find it better to outsmart than recieve something for free. Isn't that a weird thing?
I would honestly try to make money by clever agreements, clever business strategies, clever recruitment than I would accepting one lousy dollar from someone who really want to give it to me as a kind gesture.
When people give me something for free I am ashamed and I will feel humiliated actually. Like I can't make money any other way. That I need to beg for money from people (I actually don't have to beg, but my brain somehow always intepret it like I was begging someone for money when they gave it freely).
I will see a shrink, promise. I have actually talked to a shrink about this issue, but no one from any side of the table got any smarter about my issue when the session was over...hehe. Shrinks seem to just repeat what you have said like a parrot. Very rewarding, yes?
Say my family, friends or anyone else wants to give me money for free (a gift, donation whatever you want to call it). When someone tries to give me money (without any kind of return on it) I get this kind of big mental wall coming up around me and I can't accept it. It feels terribly akward for me to accept gifts without giving some kind of a service in return. It's like the Trojan Horse to me: "If I take this money, what will they in turn ask me to do later down the road". Free gifts is the oldest trick in the book when it comes to manipulation. Really, it is.
I don't know why this is, but I can certainly say that this is a really well programmed habit from the time I was a small boy (not that long ago
). My dad, dead at this date unfortunately, was very harsh. He drilled me well when it came to not trusting people who give you something for free. Many would say this is a good habit. I would say yes, if you are a small boy and do not want to be raped in the shady basement of some lunatic. Then yes.But if you are in my age 23 years old this year. Then you got some real issues. And if you are an entrepreneur you are really passing things up. I mean, any sane entrepreneur would gladly recieve services for free, products for free, labor forces for free. It is just in your own self interest to do so, really. But for me, this is a cripling handicap.
I just recently (yesterday) wrote one post on the thread about Machiavellian people and how I scored high on that particular test. Some people might think "Well, if you recieved a high score on the Machiavellian test, then how on earth can you then write that you have a hard time accepting gifts?". The difference ladies and gentlemen is that there is a hugh difference between cunningly gain money in business on a strategic way than getting it through a simple gift from someone. Gifts and business strategy that results in money in the bank is two separate things to me. Gifts is something people actually want you to take, Machiavellian maneuvers is something you earn through cleverness. Not free that is.
So in short: free meals might not be something I believe in? Can that be it? And if so, is that really such a smart thought to have engrained in the sub-concious? Wouldn't it be smarter to just say: "Ok, give me the cash. Thanks"?
I just wanted to see if I am the only weirdo on this forum with this kind of weird phobia of actually recieving help without any monetary return for the help I recieve.
I mean, read this: I actually find it better to outsmart than recieve something for free. Isn't that a weird thing?
I would honestly try to make money by clever agreements, clever business strategies, clever recruitment than I would accepting one lousy dollar from someone who really want to give it to me as a kind gesture.
When people give me something for free I am ashamed and I will feel humiliated actually. Like I can't make money any other way. That I need to beg for money from people (I actually don't have to beg, but my brain somehow always intepret it like I was begging someone for money when they gave it freely).
I will see a shrink, promise. I have actually talked to a shrink about this issue, but no one from any side of the table got any smarter about my issue when the session was over...hehe. Shrinks seem to just repeat what you have said like a parrot. Very rewarding, yes?
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts
Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.
You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.
- Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
- MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
- Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
- Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."— User Richard Peck
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?
