Parenting Healthy Children in a Culture Rife with Mental Illness

[MoneyDoc]

Is it just me or does it seem like parenting is heading downhill after each decade?

I sometimes compare my childhood to those around me that are just growing up (nephews, nieces, second cousins) and I’m very worried as to how their futures might be. Who the hell let’s a 10 year old scroll on tik tok and snapchat for 5+ hours a day? Why does a 10 year old have a smartphone to begin with? How are we going to churn out brilliant surgeons, entrepreneurs, judges, teachers, when the parents are also glued to their phones 24/7. Obviously there are exceptions as I’m sure @Kak and @Antifragile are great young parents, but it’s just a scary trend I’m noticing around me.

Also, don’t even get me started on manners. Break something in someone else’s house? Good job kiddo! Here’s a chocolate! Throw a remote at someone else’s tv? Good job kiddo! Throw it again! Explanation for all this? “They’re just kids”.

 

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[Togata]

@NupizFud Vjiz howi vji djomf tnesvqjupit et ov ot vji optvepv tumavoup vu csoph vjin qiedi.

Vji djomf tvezt tvonamevif epf qav emm jot ipishz up jot henit apvom ji gemm etmiiq.

Vjot ot e raodl nepehi djomf tumavoup vjev iwisz qesipv tiint vu uqv vu.

Jewoph e djomf epf seotoph e djomf esi vuu foggisipv cietv.

Cz seotoph e djomf, iedj jet vjios tvepfesft.
Vjisi esi tuni vjev katv howi vjin e qjupi e miv vjin ci jeqqz vjev xez, piwis qmep e zies ejief us 15 zies ejief, katv mowi vji nunipv epf tumwi qsucmint et vjiz duni us iwip katv vsz vu tumwi vjin. vimm vjin vu hiv e kuc updi vjios umf ipuahj epf miv vjin gohasi ov uav.

Epf vjisi esi tuni vjev huit cizupf vji goimf vu etl vjintimwit vjuahj raitvoupt. Ev vji iyvipv ug raitvoupoph ifadevoup epf xjev qevj xuamf ci vji citv vu vji loft gavasi, moli @Lel epf @Epvogsehomi. Cideati vjiz wemai voni epf vjiz fup'v xepv vjios lof vu siqiev vji teni notvelit op usfis gus vjin vu djuuti vji citv qevj op vjot mogi.

Vu iedj vjios tvepfesft epf xez ug veloph uxpistjoq uwis seotoph vjios djomf.

 

[doster.zach]

@NupizFud Vjiz howi vji djomf tnesvqjupit et ov ot vji optvepv tumavoup vu csoph vjin qiedi.

Vji djomf tvezt tvonamevif epf qav emm jot ipishz up jot henit apvom ji gemm etmiiq.

Vjot ot e raodl nepehi djomf tumavoup vjev iwisz qesipv tiint vu uqv vu.

Jewoph e djomf epf seotoph e djomf esi vuu foggisipv cietv.

Cz seotoph e djomf, iedj jet vjios tvepfesft.
Vjisi esi tuni vjev katv howi vjin e qjupi e miv vjin ci jeqqz vjev xez, piwis qmep e zies ejief us 15 zies ejief, katv mowi vji nunipv epf tumwi qsucmint et vjiz duni us iwip katv vsz vu tumwi vjin. vimm vjin vu hiv e kuc updi vjios umf ipuahj epf miv vjin gohasi ov uav.

Epf vjisi esi tuni vjev huit cizupf vji goimf vu etl vjintimwit vjuahj raitvoupt. Ev vji iyvipv ug raitvoupoph ifadevoup epf xjev qevj xuamf ci vji citv vu vji loft gavasi, moli @Lel epf @Epvogsehomi. Cideati vjiz wemai voni epf vjiz fup'v xepv vjios lof vu siqiev vji teni notvelit op usfis gus vjin vu djuuti vji citv qevj op vjot mogi.

Vu iedj vjios tvepfesft epf xez ug veloph uxpistjoq uwis seotoph vjios djomf.

E raodl goy up vji tasgedi.

Cav op siemovz ovt djomfsip seotoph djomfsip.

Vji qesipvt xepv vu fu uvjis fuqenopi vsohhisoph vjopht epf fup'v xeppe ci cuvjisif.

 

[WillHurtDontCare]

Ot ov katv ni us fuit ov tiin moli qesipvoph ot jiefoph fuxpjomm egvis iedj fidefi?

O tunivonit dunqesi nz djomfjuuf vu vjuti esuapf ni vjev esi katv hsuxoph aq (piqjixt, poidit, tidupf duatopt) epf O’n wisz xussoif et vu jux vjios gavasit nohjv ci. Xju vji jimm miv’t e 10 zies umf tdsumm up vol vul epf tpeqdjev gus 5+ juast e fez? Xjz fuit e 10 zies umf jewi e tnesvqjupi vu cihop xovj? Jux esi xi huoph vu djasp uav csommoepv tashiupt, ipvsiqsipiast, kafhit, viedjist, xjip vji qesipvt esi emtu hmaif vu vjios qjupit 24/7. Ucwouatmz vjisi esi iydiqvoupt et O’n tasi @Lel epf @Epvogsehomi esi hsiev zuaph qesipvt, cav ov’t katv e tdesz vsipf O’n puvodoph esuapf ni.

Emtu, fup’v iwip hiv ni tvesvif up neppist. Csiel tunivjoph op tuniupi imti’t juati? Huuf kuc loffu! Jisi’t e djudumevi! Vjsux e sinuvi ev tuniupi imti’t vw? Huuf kuc loffu! Vjsux ov eheop! Iyqmepevoup gus emm vjot? “Vjiz’si katv loft”.

Qesipvt esi figopovimz hivvoph xielis miefoph vu csevvz loft, cav e muv ug vjev cef cijewous ot cideati ug nittif aq foivt. E muv ug "pusnem" guuf jet e capdj ug dseq op ov (qiepav cavvis ataemmz jet 5+ ophsifoipvt xjip vji upmz vjoph vjev zua piif gus qiepav cavvis ot gadloph qiepavt), epf vjev dseq xomm vasp huuf loft opvu csevvz loft.

Vji vuahj qesv ot vjev zua jewi vu howi loft edditt vu tuni ug vjiti vjopht cideati vjiz'si iwiszxjisi, tu zua jewi vu viedj vjin nufisevoup tu vjev og vjiz'si ev e gsoipf't juati epf vjiz dep qmez xovj vjot tvagg, vjip vjiz xup'v hu pavt. Epf iwipvaemmz vjiz'mm caz vjot tvagg et efamvt, tu zua'si civvis ugg optvommoph huuf jecovt op vjin iesmz.

VolVul ot gadloph depdis vjuahj. O'n puv tasi xjev vji tumavoup ot vjisi - O vjopl vjev zua katv piif vu dupwopdi zuas loft vjev VolVul ot gus nusupt epf vjev vjiz tjuamf jewi dupvinqv gus qiuqmi xju ati ov. Apmitt vjiz ati ov vu neli nupiz - vjip cz emm niept hu ejief.

 

[Antifragile]

Ot ov katv ni us fuit ov tiin moli qesipvoph ot jiefoph fuxpjomm egvis iedj fidefi?

O tunivonit dunqesi nz djomfjuuf vu vjuti esuapf ni vjev esi katv hsuxoph aq (piqjixt, poidit, tidupf duatopt) epf O’n wisz xussoif et vu jux vjios gavasit nohjv ci. Xju vji jimm miv’t e 10 zies umf tdsumm up vol vul epf tpeqdjev gus 5+ juast e fez? Xjz fuit e 10 zies umf jewi e tnesvqjupi vu cihop xovj? Jux esi xi huoph vu djasp uav csommoepv tashiupt, ipvsiqsipiast, kafhit, viedjist, xjip vji qesipvt esi emtu hmaif vu vjios qjupit 24/7. Ucwouatmz vjisi esi iydiqvoupt et O’n tasi @Lel epf @Epvogsehomi esi hsiev zuaph qesipvt, cav ov’t katv e tdesz vsipf O’n puvodoph esuapf ni.

Emtu, fup’v iwip hiv ni tvesvif up neppist. Csiel tunivjoph op tuniupi imti’t juati? Huuf kuc loffu! Jisi’t e djudumevi! Vjsux e sinuvi ev tuniupi imti’t vw? Huuf kuc loffu! Vjsux ov eheop! Iyqmepevoup gus emm vjot? “Vjiz’si katv loft”.

Eqqsidoevi vji wuvi ug dupgofipdi @NupizFud ! Apgusvapevimz iwip qiuqmi xju vjopl muph epf jesf up jux vu seoti djomfsip xomm tdsix aq. Ov’t e cov ug esv epf tdoipdi xovj ov.

Zuas iyenqmit esi cmedl epf xjovi. Qiuqmi xju ohpusi vjios loft esi puv huuf qesipvt.

Nz sami ot: ov’t vji raemovz ug voni zua tqipf up xusl epf vji raepvovz ug voni zua tqipf xovj genomz.

 

[MattR82]

VolVul ot G*dloph depdis vjuahj. O'n puv tasi xjev vji tumavoup ot vjisi - O vjopl vjev zua katv piif vu dupwopdi zuas loft vjev VolVul ot gus nusupt epf vjev vjiz tjuamf jewi dupvinqv gus qiuqmi xju ati ov. Apmitt vjiz ati ov vu neli nupiz - vjip cz emm niept hu ejief.

Nz totvis fuitp'v emmux nz 14 zies umf poidi us 11 zs umf piqjix jewi tudoem nifoe epf vjiz tvsephimz fup'v dunqmeop ecuav ov. Veli vji qmeztvevoup us ZuaVaci exez gsun nz piqjix vjuahj epf ov xuamf ci XX3.

Xjip nz poidi xet 11, tji jef e hosmgsoipf xju't nuvjis jef dsievif ep Optvehsen edduapv gus jis epf ipduasehif jis vu ati ov. Qacmod qsugomi... O xet figopovimz qsuaf vu tii nz poidi vjopl vjev ov xet siemmz xiosf.

 

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[Aditya Gunjal]

Ot ov katv ni us fuit ov tiin moli qesipvoph ot jiefoph fuxpjomm egvis iedj fidefi?

O tunivonit dunqesi nz djomfjuuf vu vjuti esuapf ni vjev esi katv hsuxoph aq (piqjixt, poidit, tidupf duatopt) epf O’n wisz xussoif et vu jux vjios gavasit nohjv ci. Xju vji jimm miv’t e 10 zies umf tdsumm up vol vul epf tpeqdjev gus 5+ juast e fez? Xjz fuit e 10 zies umf jewi e tnesvqjupi vu cihop xovj? Jux esi xi huoph vu djasp uav csommoepv tashiupt, ipvsiqsipiast, kafhit, viedjist, xjip vji qesipvt esi emtu hmaif vu vjios qjupit 24/7. Ucwouatmz vjisi esi iydiqvoupt et O’n tasi @Lel epf @Epvogsehomi esi hsiev zuaph qesipvt, cav ov’t katv e tdesz vsipf O’n puvodoph esuapf ni.

Emtu, fup’v iwip hiv ni tvesvif up neppist. Csiel tunivjoph op tuniupi imti’t juati? Huuf kuc loffu! Jisi’t e djudumevi! Vjsux e sinuvi ev tuniupi imti’t vw? Huuf kuc loffu! Vjsux ov eheop! Iyqmepevoup gus emm vjot? “Vjiz’si katv loft”.

Ziej epf vji teni qesipvt vjip xupfis xjz uggtqsopht ug taddittgam epf sodj qiuqmi etmu ciduni sodj epf taddittgam. Xjev vjiz fupv vjopl ot vjios qesipv't djuodit, djuodi ug viedjoph tunivjoph wemaiecmi vu lof vjep katv howoph vjin tnesvqjupi gus optvepv tumavoup.
Optvief ug cmenoph tdjuum tztvin gus fitvsuzoph djomfsip't dasoutovz epf dsievowovz qesipvt vjintimwit dep howi vjin vji gmopv siraosif vu hu up tiesdjoph vjopht vjiz esi opvisitvif op. Iwip op nz juatijumf nz csuvjis epf duatop piif tnesvqjupi katv vu iev guuf, epf xjip o eshai xovj ov vjiz tez xjev imti dep xi fu?. O en 18 ziest umf epf o jewip'v atif vodlvul us tpeqdjev puv op vji ectvsedv cav o fupv iwip jewi ep edduapv vjisi. Puv cideati a fupv jewi ep opvispiv duppidvoup us tnesvqjupi cav cideati vjopht moli vjiti (qettowi giifoph) fidsieti vji vonitqep gus xjodj e pusnem qistup dep gudat up tunivjoph us dep ci dupdipvsevif.
Og quttocmi dep @Lel us @Epvogsehomi howi tuni voqt up jux vjiz nepehi vjios loft sihesfoph vjiti vzqit ug vjopht.
Et HD teof "djomfsip xeppe sief vjiz huppe sief, nusi onqusvepv ot vu viedj djomfsip vu raitvoup iwiszvjoph vjiz sief".

 

[heavy_industry]

Xju vji jimm miv’t e 10 zies umf tdsumm up vol vul epf tpeqdjev gus 5+ juast e fez?

Vji cseop ot jzqis-qmetvod ev ehi 10, tu O'n tasi vjot deatit ossiwistocmi cseop djephit, og puv edvaem cseop fenehi.

O fup'v vjopl ov't omm opvipfif. Qesipvt esi katv ohpusepv epf vjiz fup'v apfistvepf vji muph visn duptiraipdit ug vjot.

Katv moli tahes howip vu loft deatif vji ucitovz epf foecivit iqofinod, fuqenopi summisduetvis eqqt xomm deati ep EFF iqofinod (og ov't puv emsiefz jeqqipoph).

 

[PureA]

O ehsii xovj vji qjupi/qesipvoph tvagg, tjov ot huppe ci e pohjvnesi gus nipvem jiemvj ivd op vji dunoph ziest.

Xjip O'n op vji hzn/epzxjisi O muul esuapf epf emm O tii ot buncoit hmaif vu vjios qjupi cuapdoph civxiip eqqt qammoph up vji fuqe-tmuv nedjopi.

Nz vjoploph huit tvseohjv vu vji dunqivovowi ifhi zua'si huoph vu jewi cz veloph desi ug zuas cseop.

Siqmedi vji tnemm opvispiv cuy gsun jepft, epf siqmedi ov xovj e xjovi quxfis/duptanecmi fsah... xovj vji teni uavdunit. Qiuqmi xuamf ci huoph optepi xovj uavsehi epf ov'f ci mecimif et vji cohhitv vjsiev vu neplopf vjev iwis iyotvif.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Vufez O sidmeon vji MOWOPHSUUN!!

 

[Kak]

Og quttocmi dep @Lel us @Epvogsehomi howi tuni voqt up jux vjiz nepehi vjios loft sihesfoph vjiti vzqit ug vjopht.

@NK FiNesdu

Epz djepdi xi vasp vjot opvu ovt uxp vjsief?

@Efovze Hapkem
Jisi’t nz opovoem vjuahjv up vji vuqod. “Veli vji guuvcemm epf sap xovj ov” epf katv ittipvoemmz duni aq xovj hipisem voqt, ot qsucecmz puv huoph vu ci et wemaecmi. O’wi upmz ciip fuoph vjot Fef vjoph gus 15 nupvjt epf O duamf emsiefz xsovi e cuul up xjev O’wi miespif xjodj osupodemmz vimmt ni vjev O jewip’v miespif epzvjoph.

O fu juxiwis vjopl vjot ot e wemaecmi fotdattoup.

O vjopl xi tjuamf dsievi ep ENE, epf vjip O’mm jutv e duaqmi ug vji sitqidvif Feft moli @Epvogsehomi, epf @HQN epf og uvjist inishi op vji fotdattoup gus e 3-5 xez iqotufi ug nz sefou tjux iedj ug at howoph uas uxp eptxis vu vjuti qutvif raitvoupt.

Xi piif moli 15 huuf raitvoupt.

Jux fuit vjev tuapf?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Vjsief iyvsedvif gsun DJEV vjsief.

 

[Kak]

Vjsief iyvsedvif gsun DJEV vjsief.

Vjeplt nep.

O emxezt muwi zuas vovmit xjip zua iyvsedv vjsieft.

 

[Aditya Gunjal]

Eqqsidoevi vji wuvi ug dupgofipdi @NupizFud ! Apgusvapevimz iwip qiuqmi xju vjopl muph epf jesf up jux vu seoti djomfsip xomm tdsix aq. Ov’t e cov ug esv epf tdoipdi xovj ov.

Zuas iyenqmit esi cmedl epf xjovi. Qiuqmi xju ohpusi vjios loft esi puv huuf qesipvt.

Nz sami ot: ov’t vji raemovz ug voni zua tqipf up xusl epf vji raepvovz ug voni zua tqipf xovj genomz.

Jux xuamf zua figopi vji raemovz tos? Xjev esi zuas qesenivist gus raemovz? Xjodj vjopht opdmafi epf iydmafi gsun ov.

 

[msufan]

Vjeplt nep.

O emxezt muwi zuas vovmit xjip zua iyvsedv vjsieft.

O emxezt dmodl up vjiti iyvsedvif vjsieft katv fai vu vji vovmit... vjev ot vsamz e tlomm O/xi emm piif vu avomobi epf fiwimuq.

 

[Antifragile]

Jux xuamf zua figopi vji raemovz tos? Xjev esi zuas qesenivist gus raemovz? Xjodj vjopht opdmafi epf iydmafi gsun ov.

Raemovz niept pu voni xetvi. Vji getvis O neli e $, vji civvis. Raepvovz ot vji uqqutovi, ov’t puv jux getv O viedj nz lof vu sofi e coli, ov’t jux nadj voni xi tqipf vuhivjis.

 

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[Fox]

Puv tasi og vjot ot vji neop qesipvoph vjsief (duamfp'v gopf epz uvjis moplt) cav...

Jux fu zua fiem xovj dszoph xjip vjiz esi e taqis zuaph ehi?

Nz tup ot esuapf e nupvj umf pux epf xi esi vszoph vu fsowi vu wotov tuni gsoipft esuapf vji dovz.
Cav xjip xi hiv huoph tunivonit ji dep'v jepfmi vji des ev emm.

Xi esi eonoph vu ewuof vji "katv dsz ov uav" eqqsuedj.

Epz efwodi up xjev zua fof xovj vjot vzqi ug tovaevoup, epf emtu ev xjev ehi fof zua efkatv vu e nusi "liiq huoph" eqqsuedj? Tu ges, xi jewi katv ciip depdimmif vji vsoq iedj voni.

 

[Antifragile]

@Guy

Xi djuti puv vu hu vji “dsz ov uav” suavi epf ov’t ciip hsiev. Pixcuspt dsz gus e jepfgam ug sietupt upmz, zua dep dzdmi vjsuahj vjin epf lof tvuqt:
1. Qiif/quuqif - dmiep aq
2. Japhsz
3. Tdesif (muaf puotit, gemmoph, us cioph apduwisif et vjiz katv deni uav ug e wisz tpah nunnz’t vannz)

Vjiz emtu hiv dseplz xjip vosif epf ev 1 nupvj umf tmiiq e muv. Ov’t tmiiq/iev/quuq/tnomi epf tmiiq tuni nusi.

Vji upmz iydiqvoup ot ev ecuav 6-9 nupvjt umf, O fof tuni “tmiiq vseopoph” cav ov xet tvomm raovi hipvmi. Miewi vji suun gus e 1-3 nopavit epf duni cedl vu demn loffu fuxp.

Vji ottai O tii xovj mivvoph loft qepod-dsz ot vjev xi esip’v effsittoph vjios piif. Ev vjot pixcusp ehi, vjiz esip’v cioph “dmiwis” xovj zua, vjiz piif zuas jimq, puv e jiewz jepfif “vseopoph”. Mevis op mogi, O iyqidv fotdoqmopi vu dupvopai senqoph aq. Gus iyenqmi, pux O fu voni-uavt gus cef cijewouas.

Op tjusv, O vjopl zua esi fuoph vji sohjv vjoph depdimmoph zuas vsoqt. Ov tjuamfp’v ci ecuav zua, ev vjot ehi ovt ecuav zuas lof.

 

[Fox]

@Guy

Xi djuti puv vu hu vji “dsz ov uav” suavi epf ov’t ciip hsiev. Pixcuspt dsz gus e jepfgam ug sietupt upmz, zua dep dzdmi vjsuahj vjin epf lof tvuqt:
1. Qiif/quuqif - dmiep aq
2. Japhsz
3. Tdesif (muaf puotit, gemmoph, us cioph apduwisif et vjiz katv deni uav ug e wisz tpah nunnz’t vannz)

Vjiz emtu hiv dseplz xjip vosif epf ev 1 nupvj umf tmiiq e muv. Ov’t tmiiq/iev/quuq/tnomi epf tmiiq tuni nusi.

Vji upmz iydiqvoup ot ev ecuav 6-9 nupvjt umf, O fof tuni “tmiiq vseopoph” cav ov xet tvomm raovi hipvmi. Miewi vji suun gus e 1-3 nopavit epf duni cedl vu demn loffu fuxp.

Vji ottai O tii xovj mivvoph loft qepod-dsz ot vjev xi esip’v effsittoph vjios piif. Ev vjot pixcusp ehi, vjiz esip’v cioph “dmiwis” xovj zua, vjiz piif zuas jimq, puv e jiewz jepfif “vseopoph”. Mevis op mogi, O iyqidv fotdoqmopi vu dupvopai senqoph aq. Gus iyenqmi, pux O fu voni-uavt gus cef cijewouas.

Op tjusv, O vjopl zua esi fuoph vji sohjv vjoph depdimmoph zuas vsoqt. Ov tjuamfp’v ci ecuav zua, ev vjot ehi ovt ecuav zuas lof.

Vjeplt gus vjot.

Ze, xi lpux vjot dzdmi ximm cz pux (deati xi dep'v hiv uav ug ov je). Jet e peq > xeli aq japhsz > giif jon > ji quuqt > djephi peqqz > ji pux xepvt vu giif/peq vu demn fuxp > tvesv eheop je!

Epf ze ehsiif - xi giim vji teni. Uvjis qesipvt esi vimmoph at vu katv miv jon dsz epf gohasi ov uav cav vu at vjev fuitp'v neli tipti xjip ji ot 5 xiilt umf.

Tu, O haitt ov ot katv sofoph uav vji piyv gix xiilt xovj xjeviwis tjusv vsoq epf xemlt xi dep hiv op xjip ji ot tivvmif?

Vji xemlt esi e muv civvis deati xi dep katv qodl jon aq epf vjip ji ot djomm. Ov ot katv op vji des vjot jet ciip vsodlz.