New guy from BKNY

[DerringtonJ]

Hey guys,
I am feeling strong levels of anxiety right now so thats the place I'm going to write from.
The only thing I know about myself is that for years I always felt like something was wrong with me for feeling like the way I was taught to live life is not the way I was supposed to live my life. I dropped out of college because I didn't want to be there anymore and it didn't feel like where I was supposed to be. I have worked hard and held multiple jobs to get by for the past 10 years (I'm 30+). I have nothing to show for it and now I reside in a room in my fathers basement. I refuse to go back to work another job and this has me at odds with my family and girlfriend because they want to see me make money now. I know my actions are selfish and irresponsible but working a job has not proven fruitful and I would rather risk being kicked out of my fathers house and left for dead than start another job.
I am strategizing daily on different ways to earn and I have a few ideas however I am having a hard time diving in and this is why I'm on the forum. I have nothing to lose but I still feel scared. I don't currently learn fast enough to make actionable impact on me and my familys life.
The short version is I'm just a simple guy with big ideas seeking ways to accomplish greatness.
(I didn't share this for pity and I make no excuses for bringing myself to this state. This is my current situation therefore it is who I am now and not who I intended to be. Help me with advice and stay tuned for the growth. {I guess I feel the need to explain myself because of some weird inner guilt. This will change too.})

Thank you @MJ DeMarco for both of your books and this forum.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Thank you for sharing your story.

First question you have to ask yourself, is living in New York serving your goals?

Sometimes family can be extremely supportive, sometimes they can be a detriment.

 

[SteveO]

but I still feel scared.

Figure out how to get rid of this. What do you have to fear? If you overcome fear and discounting yourself, other aspects will begin to fall in place.

 

[DerringtonJ]

Thank you for sharing your story.

First question you have to ask yourself, is living in New York serving your goals?

Sometimes family can be extremely supportive, sometimes they can be a detriment.

I have been very indecisive about leaving or staying but after reading both books I have found potential in staying for a little while longer.
Feeling pressured and depressed, I walked around my neighborhood in search of a job nearby and a dongle for my mobile to TV transmission. I happened upon this store front that supposedly sold the devices. the guy wasn't looking for help nor did he have what i was looking for. he had something better. he had a need.
He is selling a cable TV alternative mostly by himself with a few agreements in distant locations he has a hard time being in the office because he also services customers. I have decided to be what he needs and help him in office while learning the technology and sharing my ideas.
He is unable to pay much but I am so eager to learn and give my skills to learn more.
It has a caribbean component and if i can help solve some of the issues it will allow me to be in those locations as well so I can identify a place for relocation.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DerringtonJ]

Figure out how to get rid of this. What do you have to fear? If you overcome fear and discounting yourself, other aspects will begin to fall in place.

I guess the fear is that scared feeling when you're looking over the edge of a cliff by the sea and preparing to jump. Being here is preparing me for that leap. It helps me gather myself.

 

[SteveO]

I guess the fear is that scared feeling when you're looking over the edge of a cliff by the sea and preparing to jump. Being here is preparing me for that leap. It helps me gather myself.

That's a good one! Now, you can visualize being next to a swimming pool instead...