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PaulK

New Contributor
Jan 26, 2019
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Hello, my name is Paul. I will be turning 16 soon. Today I would like to tell a little about myself and my issues. I am currently a sophomore in high school. I knew I wanted to follow a different path than the traditional path that everyone follows since I turned 15. I've been on a pursuit for quiet a while to find out what I could do. Recently in August I began building up anxiety related to the most random things in life. I felt so miserable, anxiety plagued me for a while up until I started having full blown panic attacks. That's when I felt what it was like to feel truly miserable. I never truly understood people who had anxiety. It will tear a person's life apart, for some more than others.
On my first day of school I had the worst panic attack of my life. I went to the hospital and from there I suffered continuous anxiety symptoms which were horrid for months. I was prescribed a benzodiazepine, which was a life saver. I finally felt normal for small periods of time. Lasted about 6 hours per dose which I could take once daily. Benzodiazepines are very addictive so I only took them once a day for about 2 weeks. Then everything calmed down quiet a bit. It completely screwed over my first semester of sophomore year. I failed everything. I was in school but I wasn't truly present for the first 3 months. It was brutal but somehow I got through that. I started taking antidepressants which are literally a life saver. A weird one, which I never thought I would be taking in my lifetime. A portion of my anxiety came from my inability to do anything.
I tried starting everything, but I later realized I was not equipped well enough to pursue anything. I settled down with ecommerce, dropshipping to be exact. Tried to open a watch store. I invested money which never got a cent from it. I'm sort of addicted in finding a way to get myself financially independent. I want to lead a different life from what is typically expected of myself. Going to college for four years. Slaving away for a large corporation, making money for the shareholders. I would probably have millions by the time I would be retiring. I have a very great understanding of everything that I want to do in my life. I am starting to get back on track in school. I want to be a part of the ultra-wealthy percentage of the world. I want to do it to change my family's life. My family is a normal middle class family. My family have worked their entire lives to get to where they are. My mother and father love me and want me to go to college because its a safe path. They don't support my pursuit of seeking financial independence because I should be focusing on school is what they say. I go to one of the top #50 high schools in the nation. I worked to get here but I know that this school won't get me where I want to be in life.
I'm willing to put in the work, I just need to put myself on the right path. I never finish anything all the way because I think I won't get far. I come to a road block with funds to start anything. I had a summer job which I bought an iPhone X with because I broke my phone, twice to be exact. The original and the refurbished one which came damaged. I want to live a great lifestyle, I want to do good for this world, but mentally I am getting damaged by my constant efforts to make money but it never works. It's sort of damaging me mentally. I seek advice from this community on what I should do. I seek a financially independent lifestyle as soon as possible. Thank you for taking the time to read this :) To be completely honest this was a bit too vague about my experiences in my journey but I hope I can still get input.
 

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lowtek

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Oct 3, 2015
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Hey Paul, thanks for sharing your story.

First of all, and I'm not a doctor and I don't want to minimize your issues, but it sounds like you need to chill out. If you're 16, there is very little reason to stress. Just pass your classes, graduate, and move on from there.

There's nothing wrong with getting a job and learning some valuable skills before you start your entrepreneurial journey. In fact, you'd be immensely better off working for someone else before you strike it out on your own.
 

Stevee2K

PARKED
Jan 21, 2019
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Sacramento
Nice story.
Completly agree with lowtek.
16 years is an age of stresses. Chill out, plan everything in a right way, no need to be in a hurry. You are just 16, your thoughts are nice, but you want everything fast. Plan first, then do. Only this way. Good luck!
 

ExaltedLife

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Nov 10, 2015
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Hey Paul. I've had experience with anxiety and eventually I crushed it. I'm going to show you how right now.

Common causes/aggravators of anxiety include:

Lack of exercise
High sugar diet
Too much caffeine
Lack of sleep
Porn use
Lack of social activity
Low self-esteem *
Negative thought patterns * -
These last two are the most important.

If any of those reflect your life, start there. They can all be inter-related. The first five are pretty simple to address. I wouldn't say caffeine causes anxiety, but it does jack up your cortisol levels which makes it way worse. So if you are drinking coffee, lay off it while you make some changes.

Porn use especially seems to be strongly correlated with social anxiety for a lot of people, especially at your age. I don't know if you're watching it, and we don't need to discuss it, but if you are, check out www.yourbrainonporn.com

The last two though, I repeat, are THE MOST IMPORTANT. Anxiety and self esteem are inherently connected, because anxiety is the fear of something that may happen in the future that you believe you are unable to deal with.

A portion of my anxiety came from my inability to do anything.

See? It's your self-concept. Deep down inside you are seeing yourself as somebody who is weak, somebody who is unable to cope with the world. Then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because instead of confronting situations that make you uncomfortable, you avoid them, and then when you are forced to confront them and you can't escape, you get a panic attack and you freeze up and it reinforces the belief that you're incapable of dealing with the situation.

If it's not the direct cause, I can almost guarantee that your negative talk is making it worse.

You have negative self talk going on in your head, so you're going to fix that right now. Look:

I want to do good for this world, but mentally I am getting damaged by my constant efforts to make money but it never works. It's sort of damaging me mentally.

First thing is, stop saying 'but'. Look at this sentence again if you just ended it before you said that:

I want to do good for this world

Using the word 'but' like that is how you are killing the positives in your life. You're killing the thoughts that bring you joy and happiness and relieve stress. Literally, you thought 'I want to do good for this world' and then you killed that thought and replaced it with: "I am brain damaged". Don't do that. That is why you subconsciously feel unable to deal with the world.

From now on, instead of using the word 'but' (or 'I can't) after you say something good, you're going to leave that sentence hanging there. Then, if you aren't sure how to do that, you're going to ask yourself: "How can I do that?" and then you're just going to let yourself to be free to imagine all kinds of wonderful ways to do that.
It should look like this:

"I want to make my life better". Full stop. Let that thought hang. Then, "What could I do right now that would make my life better?". You've just asked yourself the right kind of question. You've just given your subconscious an instruction, and that instruction is to come up with creative ways to make your life better.

So fix that first, and then clean up your diet, do some pushups, get jacked, and start looking and feeling like a boss. Easy peasy.

By the way thanks for giving me this opportunity because I just came up with the perfect idea for my novella.
 

PaulK

New Contributor
Jan 26, 2019
2
1
13
Hey Paul, thanks for sharing your story.

First of all, and I'm not a doctor and I don't want to minimize your issues, but it sounds like you need to chill out. If you're 16, there is very little reason to stress. Just pass your classes, graduate, and move on from there.

There's nothing wrong with getting a job and learning some valuable skills before you start your entrepreneurial journey. In fact, you'd be immensely better off working for someone else before you strike it out on your own.

Nice story.
Completly agree with lowtek.
16 years is an age of stresses. Chill out, plan everything in a right way, no need to be in a hurry. You are just 16, your thoughts are nice, but you want everything fast. Plan first, then do. Only this way. Good luck!

Hey Paul. I've had experience with anxiety and eventually I crushed it. I'm going to show you how right now.

Common causes/aggravators of anxiety include:

Lack of exercise
High sugar diet
Too much caffeine
Lack of sleep
Porn use
Lack of social activity
Low self-esteem *
Negative thought patterns * -
These last two are the most important.

If any of those reflect your life, start there. They can all be inter-related. The first five are pretty simple to address. I wouldn't say caffeine causes anxiety, but it does jack up your cortisol levels which makes it way worse. So if you are drinking coffee, lay off it while you make some changes.

Porn use especially seems to be strongly correlated with social anxiety for a lot of people, especially at your age. I don't know if you're watching it, and we don't need to discuss it, but if you are, check out www.yourbrainonporn.com

The last two though, I repeat, are THE MOST IMPORTANT. Anxiety and self esteem are inherently connected, because anxiety is the fear of something that may happen in the future that you believe you are unable to deal with.



See? It's your self-concept. Deep down inside you are seeing yourself as somebody who is weak, somebody who is unable to cope with the world. Then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because instead of confronting situations that make you uncomfortable, you avoid them, and then when you are forced to confront them and you can't escape, you get a panic attack and you freeze up and it reinforces the belief that you're incapable of dealing with the situation.

If it's not the direct cause, I can almost guarantee that your negative talk is making it worse.

You have negative self talk going on in your head, so you're going to fix that right now. Look:



First thing is, stop saying 'but'. Look at this sentence again if you just ended it before you said that:



Using the word 'but' like that is how you are killing the positives in your life. You're killing the thoughts that bring you joy and happiness and relieve stress. Literally, you thought 'I want to do good for this world' and then you killed that thought and replaced it with: "I am brain damaged". Don't do that. That is why you subconsciously feel unable to deal with the world.

From now on, instead of using the word 'but' (or 'I can't) after you say something good, you're going to leave that sentence hanging there. Then, if you aren't sure how to do that, you're going to ask yourself: "How can I do that?" and then you're just going to let yourself to be free to imagine all kinds of wonderful ways to do that.
It should look like this:

"I want to make my life better". Full stop. Let that thought hang. Then, "What could I do right now that would make my life better?". You've just asked yourself the right kind of question. You've just given your subconscious an instruction, and that instruction is to come up with creative ways to make your life better.

So fix that first, and then clean up your diet, do some pushups, get jacked, and start looking and feeling like a boss. Easy peasy.

By the way thanks for giving me this opportunity because I just came up with the perfect idea for my novella.
Thank you all for the insight. Heavily appreciated. Trying to work it out.
 

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