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NOTABLE! My 600lb Life: Addiction, Enabling, More (RANT)

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I was going to put this in the RANDOM RANT thread but I thought it needed its own thread.

So I got stuck watching a few of these episodes and I've never been so frustrated in my life at human behavior.

What is happening on this show is DISGUSTING, and I don't mean the obese people struggling with food addiction.

This poor guy was 850 lbs. Mostly bed-ridden. Couldn't walk through doors. Terrible lymphedemas.



After watching a few episodes, here are the sad conclusions...

First, every obese person is an addict ... addicted to junk food, sugar, dairy (cheese), meat products, and processed food. THERE ISN'T A VEGETABLE IN SIGHT.

Not one subject was addicted to apples, kale, quinoa, or bananas.

Second, every morbidly obese person is being judged by another obese person.

In the case above, Robert, practically EVERYONE in his life was obese. I'm not talking about 20 lbs, but 100s. These people would interact with him as if he was the only one with the problem -- NO, YOU ALL HAVE A PROBLEM.

Third-- every single one of these people have a disconnect to what they shoved in their mouth (diet) and their weight. They think the FOOD isn't the problem, they think it's the QUANTITY, or something HORMONAL.

They don't see the system around them as the problem when the system is designed for this very function: sickness and obesity = profit.

The system of processed agriculture and the lobbyists/politicians who backstop it is designed to make you FAT and SICK. This is why a COKE is cheaper than a bottle of water. This is why a Bic Mac is cheaper than a deluxe salad.

Fourth -- and the most disgusting and frustrating thing of all -- every single one of these people who have eaten themselves immobile and near death has ENABLERS. Friends, family, and even parents.

I was absolutely sickened to see the mother of this man bring him whatever he wants.

Oh, he gets angry if I don't get him what he wants.
Oh, well Robert likes what he likes.

Are you F*cking kidding me?

Your kid is killing himself and you're only concern is to not make him mad?

Really?

You want your 4 bacon-double cheeseburgers? Get out of bed and go get them yourself.

Fifth -- these people see the "weight loss surgery" as the answer to their problems. Yes, the old EVENT/PROCESS where surgery represents the life-changing EVENT, the SHORTCUT whereas the PROCESS (proper diet) can be dismissed.

To be eligible for the surgery, they are required to lose weight. Then, they lose weight not because of the weight loss implications, but because they view the SURGERY as the quick fix. In other words, after I have the surgery, I'll be able to EAT WHATEVER THE F*ck I WANT again, I just won't eat as much.

Only the perceived access to the shortcut (surgery) is enough to get them to engage in the process (diet).

Sixth -- the enablers (family and friends) of these obese people are selfish and rude accomplices to murder. Even after the doctor clearly says "You are killing yourself" -- family members have NO PROBLEM eating garbage in front of the obese person trying to lose weight.

It's like trying to rehabilitate an alcoholic in a bar, or a crackhead in a crackhouse.

And these are people who supposedly "care" about their obese family member.

Well, we really care about Bill, but not so much to stop eating Mac and Cheese and greasy chicken in front of him.


Sick.

They only care about protecting what they shove in their mouth and how it tastes, and how it makes them feel.

This poor guy above -- even after losing 200+ lbs and FINALLY getting the help he needed ended up suffering a heart attack and dying on the show.

Tragic, but not unexpected.

But hey, at least his mother didn't make him angry and she was kind enough to bring him 2 loaves of bread, 6 perogies, and 3 bags of Skittles.

End Rant.
 

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Thoelt53

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What fascinates me is that people can let themselves get that bad. You would think that they’d wake up at some point sooner than being bed ridden.

Like when you can’t climb 5 stairs without being out of breath, struggling in and out of the car, wearing slip on shoes because your gut is in the way of tying real ones.

Really it’s no different than alcoholism or opiate addiction, like you said. Same wiring. Same mechanism. A vicious cycle of dopamine spiking and depletion.

Though I had no idea the people on this show were surrounded by these obese enablers. I never thought about it before, but makes total sense — it’s the only way to get that fat. At some point you can’t do it alone.

Imagine a recovering alcoholic living with three people who each openly down a six pack and two shots of booze every night. They won’t be sober for long.

Some parts of humanity are truly sad.
 

windchaser

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It is always easier to blame external factors than take responsibility for your choices.

I always like to observe people in the supermarket and look at people´s carts: why is it that the fit person has mostly vegetables and healthy food and the fat one has it full of junk and processed food? But sure it is easier to say it is hormonal or genetic.

They don't see the system around them as the problem when the system is designed for this very function: sickness and obesity = profit.
The system of processed agriculture and the lobbyists/politicians who backstop it is designed to make you FAT and SICK. This is why a COKE is cheaper than a bottle of water. This is why a Bic Mac is cheaper than a deluxe salad.
Spot on, the food industry (at least in the US) does not make it easy. As you point out, eating junk is way easier and cheaper than eating healthy as you point out.

In my country for instance it is easier (and cheaper) to eat healthy than junk. But in the last years the amount of processed and junk food available is increasing and surprisingly also the amount of overweight people. Coincidence? But again, it is easier to blame external factors than our own choices; in food, in business and in life.
 

lowtek

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I think it goes beyond addiction into suicidal tendencies.

With other forms of addiction, drugs in particular, there typically comes a rock bottom moment where the addict realizes the pain of continued abuse far outweighs the pain of withdrawal, and they make a solid effort to quit. For them, withdrawal is just a matter of days, and then the pain is over and they can begin the process of rebuilding and waging the longer war against relapse.

With the morbidly obese, they go well beyond rock bottom and sink deeper into the abyss, knowing full well the outcome is death. I think it's because, at the point the obese person hits rock bottom (i.e. are bed ridden and dependent on others) it's a shorter path to death than it is to health. Going from bed ridden and morbidly obese to something approximating healthy is a years long battle of attrition, with a lifetime war to avoid relapsing. Faced with this, I believe most of them choose death and keep stuffing their face, welcoming the inevitable.

We have to remember that for every one person on this show, there are hundreds of others out there, eating themselves to death.
 

Garf

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TLC - "The Learning Channel"... lol, oh how they've strayed from that moniker.

  • My 600 pound life
  • My big, fat, fabulous life
  • Intervention
  • Hoarders
  • I Didn't Know I was Pregnant
  • Dr. Pimple Popper
  • Extreme Cheapskates
  • 19 Kids And Counting
  • Honey Boo Boo
  • Breaking Amish
  • Sister Wives
What's the common theme?

It's all an exploitative freak show

We all feel a little better about ourselves when we compare our lives to that of the freaks.

I used to have real problems with alcohol, and I would love watching the alcoholic episodes of intervention because I was never that bad. I'd love watching the trainwreck first-half of the show, and then lose interest once the actual 'intervention' came around (really?!... none of those people figured out what show they were filming for??) It was comforting to me, even if I wasn't conscious of that reason for watching.

In the case of the morbidly obese... if they're addicts, they need help right? Obviously they are a few tweaks shy of being mentally healthy individuals, and the grotesque weight is a symptoms of that. My biggest issue with the 600-lb show is the surgeon Dr. Nowzaradan, who is probably medically obese himself, who is so patronizing and holier-than-thou when he talks to the people. Obviously shaming these people by pointing out how unhealthy they are does not fix the root cause.

But again, it's all just entertainment
 
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Jack Robinson

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These kinds of shows are sad to me because in the cases of most of these people their upbringing was the reason they got like that,nobody taught them to eat properly and control their nutritional intake,they just think more is better than less.That's why i think that because most parents are too incompetent to teach their kids about proper nutrition there should be something like food ED at school,sure that isn't optimal but its the best i can think of at the top of my head.
 

whiz

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Like two weeks ago, I had the misfortune of getting stuck in a living room with this show on the TV.

The thing I couldn't believe was that the parents were opening a sliding door van, shoving her inside (like a circus animal), driving her to the supermarket and letting her purchase ANY "food" she wanted.

They just quietly pushed the shopping cart as they followed her through the aisles.

She was on her motorized scooter, pointing at processed food after processed food, sugarbomb after sugarbomb...

They just remained quiet.

A lot of the "authority figures" in the lives of these 600 pounders are just piss poor in any winning qualities.

It makes me feel really bad. It's not really their fault that they come from a family of losers and passive sheep... it's likely been that way for generation after generation. You can see it in the eyes of everyone in the episode. They all feel weak and hopeless, like they can't make any change or do anything. They have no self-belief for change.

God, that show is f*cked up. And much how the 400 pounders will look at the 800 pounder and say "he's got a problem!", well... that's how a lot of people use the show for their own ego. A bunch of fatties will watch the show and be like "Oh, I don't have that bad of a problem after all!" *takes sip of coke and bite of Domino's pizza*

The show is just damn depressing. I love people - in the sense that I believe everyone has potential and I wish everyone was able to realize that they can always live a better version of themselves, even if only 1% better.

A lot of people just have no self belief because they've never been exposed to ideas like self-transformation, redemption etc. You see it in movies but you don't really learn it in school...

That's why I'm so thankful for the Internet. I would have been a complete F*cking mindless drone if I didn't have this infinite well of knowledge that exposed me to "winner ideas" - books like MJs, forums like this...

I would have been riddled with "I can't" thoughts and mental weakness, and the world would have pounded me to a sad, sad pulp.

F*ck dude, that show is so sad. Makes me sad and angry at the same time.
 

minivanman

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I have no clue why, but the little woman watches this show all the time.

I had a friend, big Lonnie, that passed away about 2 years ago. He was about 550+ and had a heart attack. He said he was big even in junior high. When we would all go to the dirt tracks, he would climb up to the very top and sit right along side of us. He would bring his cooler full of sandwiches and eat all kinds of stuff. I would tell him.... Lonnie, you gotta cut back on those sandwiches. He would say.... I don't really eat much more than you. I would say... yeah, but I only weight 210lbs. He did eat way more than me, even though I do eat a lot and a lot of so-called 'junk' food (vanilla wafers and milk right now lol). By the way, his wife was a little skinny thing. Sad deal really because they had a 2 year old daughter that he LOVED!.... but not enough to lose weight apparently.

My business partner was up to 350lbs, had the surgery 1 year ago this week and has stayed right at 220lbs. He looks like he did when we met in 1989 since the surgery. But... he loves food so I have to constantly get on to him about eating. He is actually trying to lose a few more pounds but I don't know if he will make it or not. Personally, I sometimes try to lose a little weight.... right up until those cookies call my name..... But if I was big, I could lose weight if I really wanted, I'd just quit eating late at night, that's really my problem. I couldn't let myself get big.
 

Mattie

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I believe some of them emotionally eat, this is escaping their emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and financial pain of their experience as you stated (Addiction). Emotional center, pain and reward, pain and punishment, and in general with any addiction or escapism someone says, "Hey Bro, let's veg out on gaming, gambling, food, alcohol, sex, drugs, and enable one another in the process.

Which this is quite interesting in my personal life at the moment. Since I'm chewing nicotine gum trying to quit smoking, and of course I've already done the emotional eating in the past, the binge drinking in 20's, the gaming addiction in late twenties, spiritual/religious bypassing, fastlane knowledge or education (Workaholic), and my father is an addiction counselor. Now for some reason I don't think we ever truly get out of being creatures of habit.

Addiction and habit can be exchanged. So we know we can get addicted to just about anything on the internet these days, because lets face it we're geared toward getting people addicted to some sort of product. Pokemon game for example.

I'm at the point now, thinking yeah what is there to do now, that I've been stripped of everything, but just stand in one place and do absolutely nothing. lol As if I do any action long-term and a habit good or bad is formed in 21 days and the longer you do it, the more it becomes a habit. I end up putting food in my mouth. As smoking is oral. As I see the Johan the past Dutch Coach preferred lolly pops. Otherwise I chew plane gum, since sports players chew gum for anxiety and that emotional center. Although chemical addictions kind of bring out the mean side verbally.

So really the last 48 years, I've only watched people and myself exchange one thing for another over time. And we say. "Liberation". Although, we're not truly liberated if we have found something else to consume and steal our attention. Distractions and obsessions, and we even say as entrepreneurs, to a certain extent we need that obsession to get to the top. And we believe by cutting out the negative habits and exchanging them for positive ones we're doing a good thing.

Only anything can become excessive, extreme, and be taken farther than what we believe. Isn't it the adrenaline rush, the drive, the determination, the thrill seeking sensation? Yet, we may just enable others in higher functioning way. It produces positive outcome as far as finances and materialism. Yet the negatives take away the finances and materialism.

Some say there is not balance in Entrepreneurship. Love or money? Others say there is a balance with love and money. And two people must erase their major negative addictions to thrive long-term in any relationship whether romantic or business.
 
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Raoul Duke

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I may have not been that big. I was obese. Losing over 110 pounds so far. Asking myself why did I put it back on after all those years ago... Then it hits me. Processed foods. Coca-cola. Carbs.

Hell no! Bye Felicia!
 

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NuclearPuma

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What blows my mind with the subjects on this show is that their state isn't possible if they got out of bed everyday.

There is some point in their past they went from getting up, to sitting 100% of the time. Not even to use the bathroom!

The worst part is the enablers in my opinion. I think they the enablers are mentally ill and get some kind of sick satisfaction out of being the care giver either to garner sympathy with others or their ego as being made to feel important. The enablers don't want the person to get better, they don't want to lose the care giver role or lose control of the person.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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The thing I couldn't believe was that the parents were opening a sliding door van, shoving her inside (like a circus animal), driving her to the supermarket and letting her purchase ANY "food" she wanted.

They just quietly pushed the shopping cart as they followed her through the aisles.

She was on her motorized scooter, pointing at processed food after processed food, sugarbomb after sugarbomb...

They just remained quiet.

A lot of the "authority figures" in the lives of these 600 pounders are just piss poor in any winning qualities.

It makes me feel really bad. It's not really their fault that they come from a family of losers and passive sheep... it's likely been that way for generation after generation. You can see it in the eyes of everyone in the episode. They all feel weak and hopeless, like they can't make any change or do anything. They have no self-belief for change.

God, that show is f*cked up. And much how the 400 pounders will look at the 800 pounder and say "he's got a problem!", well... that's how a lot of people use the show for their own ego. A bunch of fatties will watch the show and be like "Oh, I don't have that bad of a problem after all!" *takes sip of coke and bite of Domino's pizza*
The worst part is the enablers in my opinion.
Yup, enablers.

That's more frustrating then the folks battling the addiction.

I believe some of them emotionally eat, this is escaping their emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and financial pain of their experience as you stated (Addiction).
True. I left that out because most of us are battling some type of "issue" -- most people learn how to deal with it without falling off the deep-end.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Lex DeVille

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I was going to put this in the RANDOM RANT thread but I thought it needed its own thread.

So I got stuck watching a few of these episodes and I've never been so frustrated in my life at human behavior.

What is happening on this show is DISGUSTING, and I don't mean the obese people struggling with food addiction.

This poor guy was 850 lbs. Mostly bed-ridden. Couldn't walk through doors. Terrible lymphedemas.



After watching a few episodes, here are the sad conclusions...

First, every obese person is an addict ... addicted to junk food, sugar, dairy (cheese), meat products, and processed food. THERE ISN'T A VEGETABLE IN SIGHT.

Not one subject was addicted to apples, kale, quinoa, or bananas.

Second, every morbidly obese person is being judged by another obese person.

In the case above, Robert, practically EVERYONE in his life was obese. I'm not talking about 20 lbs, but 100s. These people would interact with him as if he was the only one with the problem -- NO, YOU ALL HAVE A PROBLEM.

Third-- every single one of these people have a disconnect to what they shoved in their mouth (diet) and their weight. They think the FOOD isn't the problem, they think it's the QUANTITY, or something HORMONAL.

They don't see the system around them as the problem when the system is designed for this very function: sickness and obesity = profit.

The system of processed agriculture and the lobbyists/politicians who backstop it is designed to make you FAT and SICK. This is why a COKE is cheaper than a bottle of water. This is why a Bic Mac is cheaper than a deluxe salad.

Fourth -- and the most disgusting and frustrating thing of all -- every single one of these people who have eaten themselves immobile and near death has ENABLERS. Friends, family, and even parents.

I was absolutely sickened to see the mother of this man bring him whatever he wants.

Oh, he gets angry if I don't get him what he wants.
Oh, well Robert likes what he likes.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Your kid is killing himself and you're only concern is to not make him mad?

Really?

You want your 4 bacon-double cheeseburgers? Get out of bed and go get them yourself.

Fifth -- these people see the "weight loss surgery" as the answer to their problems. Yes, the old EVENT/PROCESS where surgery represents the life-changing EVENT, the SHORTCUT whereas the PROCESS (proper diet) can be dismissed.

To be eligible for the surgery, they are required to lose weight. Then, they lose weight not because of the weight loss implications, but because they view the SURGERY as the quick fix. In other words, after I have the surgery, I'll be able to EAT WHATEVER THE f*ck I WANT again, I just won't eat as much.

Only the perceived access to the shortcut (surgery) is enough to get them to engage in the process (diet).

Sixth -- the enablers (family and friends) of these obese people are selfish and rude accomplices to murder. Even after the doctor clearly says "You are killing yourself" -- family members have NO PROBLEM eating garbage in front of the obese person trying to lose weight.

It's like trying to rehabilitate an alcoholic in a bar, or a crackhead in a crackhouse.

And these are people who supposedly "care" about their obese family member.

Well, we really care about Bill, but not so much to stop eating Mac and Cheese and greasy chicken in front of him.


Sick.

They only care about protecting what they shove in their mouth and how it tastes, and how it makes them feel.

This poor guy above -- even after losing 200+ lbs and FINALLY getting the help he needed ended up suffering a heart attack and dying on the show.

Tragic, but not unexpected.

But hey, at least his mother didn't make him angry and she was kind enough to bring him 2 loaves of bread, 6 perogies, and 3 bags of Skittles.

End Rant.
How you feel about this show and the people in it is how I feel about death in general and the entire population. I feel bad for these people for missing out on what little life they have, but in the end we all die (for now) and nobody seems to give a shit about that.

Obesity is an unfortunate problem, especially when it leads to early death. To me the bigger tragedy is death itself. Extending the lifespan won't solve the obesity problem, but it might help.

Some days I find it hard to get motivated when I think about the fact in another 50 years or so I'll be nothing more than a lingering thought (crossing my fingers for the Singularity though). My existence will extend as far as the legacy I leave behind, and the length of time it continues to be a legacy until the new society decides its not.

Columbus day in Oklahoma is now called "Indigenous People's Day." Not that it matters. Columbus ain't coming back whether we remember him or not.

I just want to have the choice to live and keep living. The thought that it's all coming to an end for everyone is the most frustrating, sad thought in the world. Almost as sad and distressing as the realization that virtually nobody cares and everybody on the planet is an enabler.
 

Kruiser

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I'd like to think that there is at least a bit of a food educational component to the problem. Some people seem to generally have no clue as to how their food input affects their health. But also much of the food available in the U.S. is crap. I was walking around Costco yesterday and realized that I would not even consider putting about 90% of the available food there in my cart or body. It is just garbage. Then you see people walking around there looking fat, sad, and sick and you look in their cart and are not surprised. I kind of wanted to yell at people "WTF are you thinking? Put that stuff back on the shelf!" The other thing that is annoying is that so much of our (American) out of control health care costs are a result of people eating tons of crap food and killing themselves. I am completely making this fact up, but I'd bet we could reduce our national healthcare spending by 50% if everyone would just get their bodyfat under 25% (which isn't exactly skinny).
 

LuckyPup

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TLC - "The Learning Channel"... lol, oh how they've strayed from that moniker.

  • My 600 pound life
  • My big, fat, fabulous life
  • Intervention
  • Hoarders
  • I Didn't Know I was Pregnant
  • Dr. Pimple Popper
  • Extreme Cheapskates
  • 19 Kids And Counting
  • Honey Boo Boo
  • Breaking Amish
  • Sister Wives
What's the common theme?

It's all an exploitative freak show

We all feel a little better about ourselves when we compare our lives to that of the freaks.

I used to have real problems with alcohol, and I would love watching the alcoholic episodes of intervention because I was never that bad. I'd love watching the trainwreck first-half of the show, and then lose interest once the actual 'intervention' came around (really?!... none of those people figured out what show they were filming for??) It was comforting to me, even if I wasn't conscious of that reason for watching.

In the case of the morbidly obese... if they're addicts, they need help right? Obviously they are a few tweaks shy of being mentally healthy individuals, and the grotesque weight is a symptoms of that. My biggest issue with the 600-lb show is the surgeon Dr. Nowzaradan, who is probably medically obese himself, who is so patronizing and holier-than-thou when he talks to the people. Obviously shaming these people by pointing out how unhealthy they are does not fix the root cause.

But again, it's all just entertainment
I've never seen the show and never will, but you had me at "TLC - "The Learning Channel"... lol, oh how they've strayed from that moniker."
 

amp0193

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That's why i think that because most parents are too incompetent to teach their kids about proper nutrition there should be something like food ED at school,sure that isn't optimal but its the best i can think of at the top of my head.
I really liked what Michelle Obama was trying to get done with healthier school lunches. I thought it was a noble aspiration. I think Diet/nutrition should be incorporated into P.E.

While I was a teacher, I did notice some healthier options starting to be served in the cafeteria. The majority of which went in the trash. Kids just wouldn't eat it.

Even if the school lunch was somehow healthy, all the brown-baggers are bringing in garbage to eat, and kids just trade or share.
 

Get Right

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I'm on the board of a food bank. Our bank uses the highest food parsing guidelines based on the nutritional value of the food. It's amazing what a good bag of food looks like. Most people in the supermarkets spend more money to buy junk that we wouldn't even give to a homeless person...
 

amp0193

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How you feel about this show and the people in it is how I feel about death in general and the entire population. I feel bad for these people for missing out on what little life they have, but in the end we all die (for now) and nobody seems to give a sh*t about that.
Growing up religious, I think this is one of it's big cons. By promising life after death, and a "once saved, always saved" doctrine.... it kind of takes the urgency out of life.

If life is "supposed to be suffering", then why try to stop suffering? It'll be better in the next life.

When I accepted to myself that there probably isn't anything more, and this is all that I have... well shit, that got me going. For a while, I had a "death countdown" widget for chrome that would show my number of weeks left when I opened a new tab.

People go their whole life trying not to think about death. I think about it all the time. I imagine scenarios where my wife and kids die, and how my life would change, and what I would do differently. I really like the philosophy of Stoicism which gets into this kind of thing. It lets you be at peace with how shitty and random life can be.
 

amp0193

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I'd like to think that there is at least a bit of a food educational component to the problem. Some people seem to generally have no clue as to how their food input affects their health. But also much of the food available in the U.S. is crap. I was walking around Costco yesterday and realized that I would not even consider putting about 90% of the available food there in my cart or body. It is just garbage. Then you see people walking around there looking fat, sad, and sick and you look in their cart and are not surprised. I kind of wanted to yell at people "WTF are you thinking? Put that stuff back on the shelf!" The other thing that is annoying is that so much of our (American) out of control health care costs are a result of people eating tons of crap food and killing themselves. I am completely making this fact up, but I'd bet we could reduce our national healthcare spending by 50% if everyone would just get their bodyfat under 25% (which isn't exactly skinny).
People buy what's there.

You could argue that if people stopped buying it, companies would stop making it... and you'd be right.

But people aren't going to stop buying it, if it's on the shelf.

Looking at 50 yards of sugar cereal stacked side-by-side... it's an in your face social confirmation that "this is what people eat".

Yes, people need to take personal responsibility. But the bigger change needs to be the back-end political/industrial complex fueling it all.


Imagine going to a grocery store where the only junk food to be found was on a third of a shelf in the back. The social message here is that "almost nobody eats this". This is what a grocery store in Scandanavia looks like. A place where almost no one is overweight.
 

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lowtek

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Growing up religious, I think this is one of it's big cons. By promising life after death, and a "once saved, always saved" doctrine.... it kind of takes the urgency out of life.

If life is "supposed to be suffering", then why try to stop suffering? It'll be better in the next life.

When I accepted to myself that there probably isn't anything more, and this is all that I have... well sh*t, that got me going. For a while, I had a "death countdown" widget for chrome that would show my number of weeks left when I opened a new tab.

People go their whole life trying not to think about death. I think about it all the time. I imagine scenarios where my wife and kids die, and how my life would change, and what I would do differently. I really like the philosophy of Stoicism which gets into this kind of thing. It lets you be at peace with how sh*tty and random life can be.
Damn dude, I thought I was dark.
 

amp0193

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Damn dude, I thought I was dark.
Not dark, really. Like, it's not a fetish or anything. I'm just driving on the highway and a random thought pops in my head and I briefly contemplate it... instead of burying it.

I acknowledge death, and it in turn enables me to live a more extraordinary life.
 

NewManRising

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Your summary of the problem is also the summary of the problem for nearly everything. All the addictions, dumb human behavior, being poor, and every other dysfunctional human behavior, is influenced, maintained, and shamed toward people. The only way you can ever be happy and healthy is to understand that almost everyone around you is enabling/influencing your unhappiness and slavery. It really is up to the individual to deeply seek something greater and make themselves immune to the influences and enabling. Sometimes it requires some really drastic actions.

It seems everyone has the answer for you. What you should be doing, what you should be feeling, how you should live your life etc, but they can't seem to manage their own life. But they sure like to tell others how to do it.
 

NewManRising

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I'd like to think that there is at least a bit of a food educational component to the problem. Some people seem to generally have no clue as to how their food input affects their health. But also much of the food available in the U.S. is crap. I was walking around Costco yesterday and realized that I would not even consider putting about 90% of the available food there in my cart or body. It is just garbage. Then you see people walking around there looking fat, sad, and sick and you look in their cart and are not surprised. I kind of wanted to yell at people "WTF are you thinking? Put that stuff back on the shelf!" The other thing that is annoying is that so much of our (American) out of control health care costs are a result of people eating tons of crap food and killing themselves. I am completely making this fact up, but I'd bet we could reduce our national healthcare spending by 50% if everyone would just get their bodyfat under 25% (which isn't exactly skinny).
One observation I have made about people who buy crap and are unhealty is they treat their personal choices like they have none. They are totally passive and act like they really have no control over what goes in their mouth. But I have made this same observation for nearly every person who has bad habits and is broke and unhealthy. They all seem to act/feel like they have no control over their life that they are like a bystander in their own life. It is crazy. And while they can't control their own habits and behaviors, these same people tend to try and control everything that is out of their control (traffic, weather, other people, politics, etc)
 

NewManRising

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I have no clue why, but the little woman watches this show all the time.

I had a friend, big Lonnie, that passed away about 2 years ago. He was about 550+ and had a heart attack. He said he was big even in junior high. When we would all go to the dirt tracks, he would climb up to the very top and sit right along side of us. He would bring his cooler full of sandwiches and eat all kinds of stuff. I would tell him.... Lonnie, you gotta cut back on those sandwiches. He would say.... I don't really eat much more than you. I would say... yeah, but I only weight 210lbs. He did eat way more than me, even though I do eat a lot and a lot of so-called 'junk' food (vanilla wafers and milk right now lol). By the way, his wife was a little skinny thing. Sad deal really because they had a 2 year old daughter that he LOVED!.... but not enough to lose weight apparently.

My business partner was up to 350lbs, had the surgery 1 year ago this week and has stayed right at 220lbs. He looks like he did when we met in 1989 since the surgery. But... he loves food so I have to constantly get on to him about eating. He is actually trying to lose a few more pounds but I don't know if he will make it or not. Personally, I sometimes try to lose a little weight.... right up until those cookies call my name..... But if I was big, I could lose weight if I really wanted, I'd just quit eating late at night, that's really my problem. I couldn't let myself get big.
I've been big most of the life. I was a skinny kid up until about 4th-5th grade. I was chubby all the way until mid-high school. I was still big but I was athletic and strong too. Well, after highschool my weight shot up mostly due to depression and stress. For about 15 years I hovered around 300 lbs (heaviest I ever been). Then one day back in 2014, I stepped on a scale and it said 389 lbs. I was really shocked. I hadn't noticed I had gotten so big I felt I always looked the same.

Well, in one year from that date I lost over 100 lbs and got down to about 260 lbs. I was still big but strong and had muscles. The only "fat" area on my body was my belly. Since then, I have maintained that weight. Sometimes I go up a little then go back down a little.

What I have noticed is that there is a lot of mental/emotional issues that surround weight loss. See, some of these people that are extremely obese are being kept there because their emotional health and their idea of self-worth is rock bottom. The thing with me is that even though I physically lost all that weight, I still felt like a fat worthless guy. This was due to all the abuse/teasing/mocking I got all throughout my life. And society/media does a bad job with making people feel unworthy too. And you know, lots of women were interested in me and still are. But, I am avoidant mostly because how I feel about who I am. Which is false in itself.

My goal is to be around 250lbs or so. A very healthy/athletic/muscular build. But I think a part of me fears success or something. I think I purposely prevent myself from reaching this goal. And I think it comes down to feeling like I don't deserve it. And that I am still this fat worthless guy. Anyway, the point is, with weight and just about any challenge people face, the emotional/mental side of it is the hardest part. In order to get through and overcome ANY challenge, how you feel inside has to change first. You have to feel you are deserving to receive good things. Especially, if you put in hard work.
 
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Veloce Grey

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I just want to have the choice to live and keep living. The thought that it's all coming to an end for everyone is the most frustrating, sad thought in the world. Almost as sad and distressing as the realization that virtually nobody cares and everybody on the planet is an enabler.
Whatever your thoughts on death, if you live long enough, eventually there will come a point where you're not quite so keen to keep on going. My parents lived long lives, especially my Dad who ate fairly healthily, but the fact is the mind simply has an expiry date too and in his case it meant mind went before body. If I could have done it legally, I'd have taken both my parents out and put a bullet in them a couple of years before they died. It would have been merciful. Living beyond your mind's expiry date is far sadder than dying.

As to the American diet, I occasionally go to stores in NZ that sell imported sweets from the USA to make some novelty purchases. The thing is neither I nor anyone else I've offered them to has been able to eat many of these things. They simply don't resemble food to us. I tried a Twinkie for the first time this year and they are truly awful, not just in taste but you don't feel like you're eating food. The marshmallow fluff spread stuff I couldn't even bring myself to try but my enduring memory of it was first seeing it on a tv show where some public schools in the US were giving it to kids in sandwiches for lunch. Who could possibly think that is a good idea?
 
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Thoelt53

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Damn dude, I thought I was dark.
Haha, I was thinking the same thing. Except I do the same thing.
Not dark, really. Like, it's not a fetish or anything. I'm just driving on the highway and a random thought pops in my head and I briefly contemplate it... instead of burying it.

I acknowledge death, and it in turn enables me to live a more extraordinary life.
I’ve always had intrusive dark thoughts, and I’ve learned to embrace them because they’re not real and they’re not mine. They just pop up.

My in-laws live in NY, and when
my wife goes to visit with my son I can’t help but vividly imagine them perishing in a horrible accident. I go down the rabbit hole and it totally freaks me out. I’m not sure if it’s a control issue where I’m not there to protect them or what.

I will say that although it’s dark and I don’t like it, I’ve learned to live with it. These “God-forbid” scenarios make me a better husband and father by reminding me that life is finite and fragile.
 

minivanman

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I used to really freak out when my wife would go on a trip... she goes on a lot of trips all over the world for work. I never really told anyone but I was freaking out inside. Like you, I'd imagine horrible accidents happening. I still have Flight Aware saved and check it regularly when she is flying but I don't freak out quite so bad these days.

I've never felt undeserving personally but I'm going to talk to my partner tomorrow about that. We are an open book so it doesn't bother me to talk to him about it. Plus, I can lead it to it by talking about this being his 1 year anniversary of his operation. By the way, he was only 350lbs but his doctor made him get the operation because something was messed up with his blood pressure and if he didn't get the operation, they said he would have died in 2018. Since the operation his blood pressure is normal.

I'm with you on Twinkies, they suck.... go get some Little Debbies Swiss Rolls. But you can't just eat the Swiss Roll, you have to eat it correctly.... 1 layer at a time. lol
 

Tommo

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I know plenty people who have had the surgery. Many put the weight back on. I have told one close to me that as they can only eat a small amount at a time it is vital that the food be as nutritious as they can get. She listened and has gone vegan and eats no garbage. She has thanked me for the advice. My first conversion by stealth.
 

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