Monogamy. The idea of loving only one woman all your life?

[Tourmaline]

I don’t want to ever have kids.. me as an entrepreneur I like to leave this planet a better place.. we are over populated now, and if I ever feel like I want kids( I doubt it) I will adopt I will take care of the ones that already exist, and need help... btw kids are the most losing business ever, u get no return u just give all your life, and then they leave you , and live their own life.. specially nowadays.

I thought that way when I was younger. Kids for me have given me more joy and love than everything else I've ever done. There's no amount of other experiences or stuff that begins to compare.

Seeing kids as a business is rather odd. They're people. Creating life is on a different entire plane than money.

However even then, do you not think it is possible for someone's kids to increase their parent's financial status in the long run?

Fundamentally too, as a man, a son is a continuation of myself.

Kids are like expensive pets who will outlive you and are likely to actually become smarter and better than you. Or maybe not.

To each his own.

In the developed world you do not typically get the financial benefit from having kids. Only the psychological.

I've had plenty of pets. Kids are far greater than pets. Kids are not about financial benefit.

If you like joy, love, and like being happy, kids add to all of it.

Perhaps one of the biggest turning points for me, was seeing a grandfather surrounded by 20+ people that all stemmed from him. The amount of love he had directed towards him was immense.

He was extremely well taken care of, had no worries about things like retirement or money. Never faced loneliness and always had things to do with people he loves.

You ever heard of the Rothschilds? Do you think you would have had they not had been a family that worked together?

Plus all this concern about financial stuff is like you're not even expecting to be rich enough where money is a non-issue. Rather strange.

 

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[Supercar]

If we put the psychological need aside and look just at sex and money we have this picture:

Hot guys who go for hot gold diggers are better off staying single. Gold diggers dispense freebee sex to lure men in, which may be perfectly enough to fill the relationship needs of some guys.

Homely guys, who have trouble getting dates, are better off staying in relationships. More free sex for them, and there is no need to spend vast amounts of time and money to chase random women. They get all the sex that one woman in a long-term relationship is willing to dispense. No more and no less.

Most guys are actually in between of these two camps.

 

[Tourmaline]

If we put the psychological need aside and look just at sex and money we have this picture:

Hot guys who go for hot gold diggers are better off staying single. Gold diggers dispense freebee sex to lure men in, which may be perfectly enough to fill the relationship needs of some guys.

Homely guys, who have trouble getting dates, are better off staying in relationships. More free sex for them, and there is no need to spend vast amounts of time and money to chase random women. They get all the sex that one woman in a long-term relationship is willing to dispense. No more and no less.

Most guys are actually in between of these two camps.

Well you created two extremes...and then denied both of them, rightfully so.

However, serious relationships are where you get the most sex. 1000%. You don't have to build up trust. You don't have to teach a woman how to please you over and over, because realistically not all have the skills require even if some may.

The only men that have more sex than men with women that want to have sex with them often are gay men.

Would you like to put forth that most men in casual relationships average having sex more than twice a day? Perhaps players that really put a lot of time and energy into having multiple partners and continuously getting more to make up for the ones that go away, perhaps them. And what percent of them would that be? And how much time does that require compared to someone in a serious relationship with not-a-prude that wants them?

One caveat...once kids enter the picture sex goes way down lol.

good for you.. i see kids as restriction to the lifestyle i am living, and the life i like to live in the future.. i will always travel, i have been since i was 19 years old, when i was younger i did wanted kids, when i got older 33 years now i changed my mind, because i know myself more now. kids one woman,and family things is not for me at all. matter fact i avoid family things. i realized i am more happier by myself, 2 best friends , 100 of Quinton's.. i realized i am different than a lot of people i know, i like my privacy. for example i have never shared a pic of any nice car i bought on face book or pic of my hot ex gf etc.. matter fact i got annoyed, and broke up with her, because she had like 9k followers on face book, and asked me why i don't post a lot there, and why i didn't send her relationship request, to let everyone on face book know.. i broke up with her.. some guys enjoy this i don't at all. i am on a mission to get rich , and enjoy life, try to live like that, and ignore women, and trust me you will have abundance of women around you to pick, and choose from.

Well to each his own. I looked at what I wanted when I am 50, and I want to be surrounded by my family, and I am making that happen. It's not to make me happy, none of this affects my happiness. It's simply a greater life with more people in it, more going on, and more lasting impact stemming from and/or influenced by me.

I don't think I'm particularly special, I just see the value that family provides that cannot be made up for by anything else. Plus, there is nothing that prevents someone from having a family, and indulging in other things later too. Well nothing except accepting delayed gratification I suppose.

 

[Jadpapi]

Well you created two extremes...and then denied both of them, rightfully so.

However, serious relationships are where you get the most sex. 1000%. You don't have to build up trust. You don't have to teach a woman how to please you over and over, because realistically not all have the skills require even if some may.

The only men that have more sex than men with women that want to have sex with them often are gay men.

Would you like to put forth that most men in casual relationships average having sex more than twice a day? Perhaps players that really put a lot of time and energy into having multiple partners and continuously getting more to make up for the ones that go away, perhaps them. And what percent of them would that be? And how much time does that require compared to someone in a serious relationship with not-a-prude that wants them?

One caveat...once kids enter the picture sex goes way down lol.



Well to each his own. I looked at what I wanted when I am 50, and I want to be surrounded by my family, and I am making that happen. It's not to make me happy, none of this affects my happiness. It's simply a greater life with more people in it, more going on, and more lasting impact stemming from and/or influenced by me.

I don't think I'm particularly special, I just see the value that family provides that cannot be made up for by anything else. Plus, there is nothing that prevents someone from having a family, and indulging in other things later too. Well nothing except accepting delayed gratification I suppose.

I hope it works good for you, and creat nice family for yourself.. I thought about this before , and I realized no one can guarantee how his kids gonna turn out to be, and I want to be by myself when I am 75 years old , just like my neighbor he never got married, 75 years old, and he travel still every year, I asked him did u regret not having kids, he said he’ll no, because I have friends that regrets having kids..

 

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[Tourmaline]

Definitely no guarantees, that is certain. Already I see that a lot of what they become is influenced by how they're treated. It's pretty cool really. Also why having more than one kid is nice, I think the ideal number is 3. Good chance that one of them will do pretty well, and they'll always have each other too.

What other people say they do or do not regret for me is inconsequential. You will very much find people on both sides of the fence, those that regret having kids or not having them, those that do not regret having kids or not having them.

I have never however seen any equivalent to a man surrounded by 20+ people that love him. And unlike business leaders or other organizational leaders too, while they have people that love them because of those things, they also have people that hate them because of those things. An unequal dichotomy when compared to family.

But at the end of the day, you get what you give. If you put good feelings and intentions into family, you will get it back. If you put negative ones, you'll get that back too.

 

[Tourmaline]

As I said:

"What other people say they do or do not regret for me is inconsequential. You will very much find people on both sides of the fence, those that regret having kids or not having them, those that do not regret having kids or not having them."

If you want to convince yourself to not have kids and justify it, you will find shit tons of examples to stare at endlessly and reinforce yourself. That link is not very surprising, and of course they create an us vs them dichotomy calling those with kids 'breeders'. Classic really. I am quite familiar with lots of these lines of thinking, I was an anti-natalist long ago. Of course this sort of thinking can never be the majority, or else humanity will cease to exist, and that will never happen.

You will find two things contribute greatly: 1. Perspective 2. Parenting skills(or lack there of)

Have a bad perspective and thus expectations, and have bad parenting skills and thus inability to well handle children...and guess what happens...

I think the biggest trap of all is a result of self-centered culture. A lot of people have kids for their own gain. If the kids then fail to provide enough 'value', then the people tend to resent or have negative feelings about their kids. Simply look at your and other's words talking about kids as if they are an investment that needs to have some measurable positive ROI for an example of this!

I suppose it's an odd dichotomy? My kids are not for me, and they will never owe me anything. Even though they do add to me and my experience.

 

[Jadpapi]

i wasn't actually talking to you personally. my post was for everyone to read, and analyze.
again if you are happy to see your self 50 years old with 20 ppl around you. go for it. i can only see my self from 50 years old , and up living by myself in a quite little island, or somewhere by the beach, and the last thing i want 20 ppl or even 2 around me.. i enjoy life by myself, traveling , eating everything.. some people are totally the opposite i understand.

 

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[Supercar]

However, serious relationships are where you get the most sex. 1000%. You don't have to build up trust. You don't have to teach a woman how to please you over and over, because realistically not all have the skills require even if some may.

The only men that have more sex than men with women that want to have sex with them often are gay men.

Statistically speaking, and in my personal experience as well, in long-term relationships sex goes way down after about 5 years to levels way below what a healthy male requires. Women in long-term relationships, and often men too, are just not very interested in having sex with each other after some time.

 

[Tourmaline]

Curious, would you say you generally like people @Jadpapi?

I'm quite extroverted...pretty much the only time I don't want to be around people is when I'm working or meditating.

@Supercar That is 100% in the man's control. If he wants to keep the sex going, he absolutely can.

 

[Supercar]

I'm quite extroverted...pretty much the only time I don't want to be around people is when I'm working or meditating.

This makes sense now. People in large quantities drain my energy. I am most happy alone or with just one more person.

@Supercar That is 100% in the man's control. If he wants to keep the sex going, he absolutely can.

Sex is 100% in the man's control??? Not in the modern western society it isn't. It usually takes two.

 

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[Jadpapi]

I don’t just like people I love people, I don’t have to say it or talk about it, I almost lost my life trying to save a lady in a van, because I thought there was kids in it, and the sheriff who responded is still my friend to this day, and said man if my wife , and kids ever got in accident, I would love someone like you to stop, and help them.. because I was the only one actually stopped his car , and ran to the van... i know one of the reasons I enjoy life by myself is the fact that, I came to USA when I was 19 by myself , with only 200$ in my pocket, it was hard journey but I have been to a places, and done, and see things retired people with money haven’t seen or done, and I am only 33 years old...

 

[Jadpapi]

Any man have experience with women, knows for fact that, by the end of the day women pick, and choose who they want to have sex with.

 

[Tourmaline]

@Supercar I really like one on ones, but I enjoy large groups too. Other people energize me unless they're extremely negative. I suppose negative people are draining for me.

Well yes, I generally see it as up to the man to make his woman continue to want him. And if you're attractive and make her feel sexy, then why wouldn't she? However those are two big ifs, both of which are in your control I believe you'd agree. If you're doing things right, you're turning her down regularly

@Jadpapi You're an interesting cookie

 

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[Jadpapi]

@Supercar I really like one on ones, but I enjoy large groups too. Other people energize me unless they're extremely negative. I suppose negative people are draining for me.

Well yes, I generally see it as up to the man to make his woman continue to want him. And if you're attractive and make her feel sexy, then why wouldn't she? However those are two big ifs, both of which are in your control I believe you'd agree. If you're doing things right, you're turning her down regularly

@Jadpapi You're an interesting cookie

Thanks You also very interesting beta male.. do you want to bet 10k in front of everyone now that my story is correct, and I am ready to provide all the evidence?? Otherwise call me a real man or a hero, it’s what I seen myself this day, and the sherif too hahahahaha ... 10k??
I

 

[Supercar]

Well yes, I generally see it as up to the man to make his woman continue to want him. And if you're attractive and make her feel sexy, then why wouldn't she? However those are two big ifs, both of which are in your control I believe you'd agree. If you're doing things right, you're turning her down regularly

I never turn them down. Maybe that's my problem. After 5 years that is no longer appreciated.

It works great for the first 5 years though. After that they want something different. Perhaps another man or just to be left alone.

I think the solution for me would be to have two women. Then their lower instincts of fighting for the male would work better. Then I can start turning them down occasionally. Or get a third one, if I need something new. They should be friendly but slightly competitive. This is why it works so well in Utah. I just do not want kids, this is why I haven't moved there yet.

 

[Tourmaline]

Thanks You also very interesting beta male.. do you want to bet 10k in front of everyone now that my story is correct, and I am ready to provide all the evidence?? Otherwise call me a real man or a hero, it’s what I seen myself this day, and the sherif too hahahahaha ... 10k??
I

ahhaha calling me a beta. Beyond alpha and beta not being real, just ask yourself if the alpha of the pack usually has kids or not.

I wasn't challenging your story btw. Just find it curious that someone loves people but doesn't want kids that's all.

I never turn them down. Maybe that's my problem. After 5 years that is no longer appreciated.

It works great for the first 5 years though. After that they want something different. Perhaps another man or just to be left alone.

I think the solution for me would be to have two women. Then their lower instincts of fighting for the male would work better. Then I can start turning them down occasionally. Or get a third one, if I need something new. They should be friendly but slightly competitive. This is why it works so well in Utah. I just do not want kids, this is why I haven't moved there yet.

idk man, I don't care about theory much anymore. In my experience, I just had more important shit to do and so I'd turn her down. And I'd still have to regularly turn her down even after 10+ years. But I know if I didn't keep doing what I was doing, she wouldn't have continued to be so eager either. Everyone wants different after a while, and there's zero reason you should be monotonous either! Changing things up and keeping things interesting and uncertain are fundamentals.

 

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[Brian Suh]

This implies having a serious relationship means one can't pursue their dreams and desires? Which is patently false, unless your idea of dreams and desires is limited to hooking up with lots.

Of course you can't find a girl like that. That's how men love. How BP of you.

Suppose you could find an MTF like that however



But no kids? That's a greater loss than all of that combined.

You can also have way more sex in a serious relationship than outside of one too...not sure why you think otherwise, but that's one of the biggest perks.

Most girls will hold you back. That’s a fact because most girls and people in general are mediocre and are scared they will lose you.

 

[Tourmaline]

Who cares about 'most'. The right woman can make you president too, ala Bill and Hillary. Finding a woman that is good for you and your goals and makes you stronger is a given.

 

[Brian Suh]

ahhaha calling me a beta. Beyond alpha and beta not being real, just ask yourself if the alpha of the pack usually has kids or not.

I wasn't challenging your story btw. Just find it curious that someone loves people but doesn't want kids that's all.



idk man, I don't care about theory much anymore. In my experience, I just had more important shit to do and so I'd turn her down. And I'd still have to regularly turn her down even after 10+ years. But I know if I didn't keep doing what I was doing, she wouldn't have continued to be so eager either. Everyone wants different after a while, and there's zero reason you should be monotonous either! Changing things up and keeping things interesting and uncertain are fundamentals.

Alpha and beta, leaders and followers, all the same shit. It is real. To deny it means your a beta. Sorry man

 

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[csalvato]

Most girls will hold you back. That’s a fact because most girls and people in general are mediocre and are scared they will lose you.

Alpha and beta, leaders and followers, all the same shit. It is real. To deny it means your a beta. Sorry man

I sincerely hope you are able to re-evaluate these beliefs (and several others you have posted in this thread) as you get more life experience.

So far, I haven't seen you express an ability to take on deep, meaningful feedback and adjust your worldview, though.

Again, I sincerely hope that changes, for your sake (and for the sake of the world, since we need more people like that).

 

[Supercar]

Who cares about 'most'. The right woman can make you president too, ala Bill and Hillary. Finding a woman that is good for you and your goals and makes you stronger is a given.

I was actually thinking about Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron. A more compelling story. Although, I think, the Rothschilds had a bigger hand in his career.

 

[Jadpapi]

Elon musk had to divorce his wife for his dreams , and goals, and after that he became more successful.. women had nothing to do with your success it’s you, and only you.

 

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[broswoodwork]

What do you guys think goes on over in the women's locker room?

 

[Kevin88660]

If you look at relationships, and marriage from an entrepreneur point of view, it’s a losing game or business.. you will always put in more than what u get out of this.. you will spend more money,, you will have less time for yourself, and your business, u will have drama , and fights no matter what, you will have no freedom, you will have less sex ( this apply to me I have more sex when I am single), you will have less money, you will spend more money.. look at single life from an entrepreneur point of view it’s a winning game , you get to have more sex, save more money, have more freedom, have more friends, have more of everything, and most importantly your money is yours. You will not lose it in a divorce.. the single life for sure better than marriage or even relationships.. marriage only exist because of the society made it this way.. I make my own rules

I agree with your metrics in looking at things. Being single and young is good.

However there are two sides of everything. Being old and and childless is another thing you need to consider.

There have been people who are devoted singles who changed path quickly to get married and have children. I think they do not want to be old and childless.

I agree that losing control in a marriage/relationship is bad too. You got to plan ahead to have things in control. Have some form of wealth that you can never lose. Have some control in your life that the other part cannot take it away.

I remember the best divorce that I ever heard (from a man’s pov) is the hedge fund manager Jim Chanos. He has a peaceful settlement with his wife after being together for 20 years, splitting their mansion and some big amount of cash. They have two kids who were young adults when they divorced. The woman was some former tier 3 actress that you can find on imbd but no detail description.

What I read in the open court document is that two years later the woman sued her lawyer in settling her divorce. For two reason.

1) For all years while she is with Jim Chanos she didn’t know that he is a billionaire. She always thought that he is a multimillionaire. She agreed to a settlement far less than what she should get. She didn't know her husband is a billionaire until she saw in the news that reporter reported him as a billionaire.

2) She also came to know that her divorce lawyer was in fact a regular drinking buddy of Jim Chanos. She was given advice by him that what she was getting was a good deal.

Mr Chanos is not just a well-known short seller but also a grandmaster of divorce settlement.

 

[csalvato]

Elon musk had to divorce his wife for his dreams , and goals, and after that he became more successful.. women had nothing to do with your success it’s you, and only you.

Ever see an interview with Elon? In almost every correspondence and interview he talks about how much he needs a girlfriend.

companionship is important, and success has multiple metrics, not just cash

 

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[1step]

What do you guys think goes on over in the women's locker room?

Guarantee they don’t have a 7 page thread with the same shit repeated in every post

 

[Jadpapi]

Ever see an interview with Elon? In almost every correspondence and interview he talks about how much he needs a girlfriend.

companionship is important, and success has multiple metrics, not just cash

Again he still had to divorce his wife for his goals.. I have seen her and she said he was very busy, and no time for home.. yes I know he wants gf ?? So doesn’t change the reality he got divorced, and can’t keep any. So a wise man would learn from other people mistakes. His ex , and every rich man ex wife is enjoying life nowadays with the money they never worked for with younger dudes.. marriage is a losing game for men period, I don’t want the city or the F*ckn county to decide one day how much of my hard earning money I get to keep. Imagine another dude banging your ex wife in the home you bought, and driving the car you bought, it happens everyday in America due to the divorce law.. thanks god i didn’t have any business when I got divorced..

 

[Brian Suh]

Guarantee they don’t have a 7 page thread with the same shit repeated in every post

Living in my co Ed dorm freshman year all I heard girls talk about with each other’s is sex. Serious.

 

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[MoneyHacker]

Living in my co Ed dorm freshman year all I heard girls talk about with each other’s is sex. Serious.

Yu won @Brian Suh , now i'm back to work and will marry the woman i love in the future, i leave all the women left in the world to you

 

[Brian Suh]

Yu won @Brian Suh , now i'm back to work and will marry the woman i love in future, i leave all the women left in the world to you

Lmao. Good luck bro.