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Mindset Help

Anything related to matters of the mind

Raja

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Hi Fastlane friends,

I was action faking for a long time now and in the last few weeks, I have decided to take action and move forward.
after gaining clarity from reading "The one thing" suggested by MTF, I removed all the action fake and distracted to focus on only the work that matters the most.

I don't have a ton of work(Final exams are coming so will have within a week), just 4 to 6 hours a day.

my problem is after removing the distracting, I am not able to do the most important thing in my day(The only thing which will help to make me move forward), my body and mind refuse to work. I don't know what is happening even though I know this is what I should be doing.

I think this may be escapism. I jumped on the entrepreneurship bandwagon to avoid getting a job (I had painful internship experience) and now avoiding the work I must be doing.
I don't hate doing the important task, I don't love it either. I have no problem doing the stuff that won't make an impact like designing a logo.

I am not exercising for the past 14 days, I think this may also be the cause of the problem.

please help me, I think this is mindset stuff.

thanks

@ChrisV what do you think I should do.
 
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Wiggly0607

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Hi Fastlane friends,

I was action faking for a long time now and in the last few weeks, I have decided to take action and move forward.
after gaining clarity from reading "The one thing" suggested by MTF, I removed all the action fake and distracted to focus on only the work that matters the most.

I don't have a ton of work(Final exams are coming so will have within a week), just 4 to 6 hours a day.

my problem is after removing the distracting, I am not able to do the most important thing in my day(The only thing which will help to make me move forward), my body and mind refuse to work. I don't know what is happening even though I know this is what I should be doing.

I think this may be escapism. I jumped on the entrepreneurship bandwagon to avoid getting a job (I had painful internship experience) and now avoiding the work I must be doing.
I don't hate doing the important task, I don't love it either. I have no problem doing the stuff that won't make an impact like designing a logo.

I am not exercising for the past 14 days, I think this may also be the cause of the problem.

please help me, I think this is mindset stuff.

thanks

@ChrisV what do you think I should do.
Is there a hidden fear of success stopping you? Escapism, in my opinion, is avoiding something important but seemingly "painful" (rejection, etc). The pain outweighs the gain, and the fear dictates your daily life choices.
 

Raja

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Is there a hidden fear of success stopping you? Escapism, in my opinion, is avoiding something important but seemingly "painful" (rejection, etc). The pain outweighs the gain, and the fear dictates your daily life choices.
I don't know any hidden fear, may be I am having too much belief in my skills that I can get a job faster than my peers, though I don't think that's the case.

I just can get my body and brain to write a simple thing as proposal, I have a template for it it one proposal takes 15 mins to write but brain gets overloaded.

This is the first time taking actual action, it does not happens when action faking
 

Raja

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Could also be that there is no positive feedback loop
 
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D

Deleted78083

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You lack a goal.

Any object can move forward by two different forces. It can be pushed, or it can be pulled.

Being pushed into entrepreneurship means doing it out of having excluded all of the other options (weak motivation).

Being pulled by entrepreneurship means doing it because it's fun or to achieve any other external purpose (freedom, etc, strong motivation)

To be pulled means therefore finding a purpose that would justify entrepreneurship.

Find your purpose.

When you will have one, you will start taking action towards it.

This book will help: BOOK - Personality Isn't Permament, Bejamanin Hardy (Transcend yourself...)
 

RicardoGrande

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my problem is after removing the distracting, I am not able to do the most important thing in my day(The only thing which will help to make me move forward), my body and mind refuse to work. I don't know what is happening even though I know this is what I should be doing.

I know this exact feeling that you're talking about.
Two questions:
1) Have you taken an inventory of your self concept, have you consciously noticed how you feel about thoughts of "starting", "doing", or "working"?
2) Do you have ADD? If not, do you waste a lot of time around devices or screens? Do you meditate? If you don't meditate, start.

At least in my case, I have super ADHD, which boils down to a serotonin/dopamine imbalance, and I had to heavily, HEAVILY, systematize my day and daily processes on top of doing things like cutting screen time and meditating everyday.
It's really, really hard, so be proud you're at least trying.
The first thing I could suggest is to perhaps carrying a small notebook with you, using that to start on projects, and using the notebook to itemize each step of the project, then itemize each step into sub-steps so they seem trivial to complete.

"Build a website"
Becomes:
"Buy hosting" + "Customize template"
Which breaks into:
"find a good domain name" + "buy domain and hosting package" ++ "Find a template I want to use" + "Decide on what google fonts would look good" + "Ask client for their preferred pictures".

Eat the elephant in bite sized pieces.


Book reccs (Don't read these because it's action faking tbh):
The Upward spiral by Benjamin Korb
Mind Hacking by Sir John Hargrave
Awaken the Giant within by Tony Robbins (Certain sections, it's a monster book)
How to fail at everything and still win big by Scott Adams
The Now habit (Summary: Actionable Book Summary: The Now Habit by Neil Fiore | Durmonski.com)
 
D

Deleted78083

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I am re-reading unscripted , and MJ talks about the four enemies of the FTE:

1. Mediocre comfort: if it doesn't hurt enough to change, you don't change.
2. Your guarded pride and ego: if you are not willing to do sh*t job for minimum wage, you won't be an entrepreneur.
3. Your responsibilities: getting kids, mortgages, a wife, a new car and a dog named Fluffy is bury you under responsibilities which prevents you from changing your behavior.
4. Fear: self-explanatory.
 
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Edgar King

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You lack a goal.

Any object can move forward by two different forces. It can be pushed, or it can be pulled.

Being pushed into entrepreneurship means doing it out of having excluded all of the other options (weak motivation).

Being pulled by entrepreneurship means doing it because it's fun or to achieve any other external purpose (freedom, etc, strong motivation)

To be pulled means therefore finding a purpose that would justify entrepreneurship.

Find your purpose.

When you will have one, you will start taking action towards it.

This book will help: BOOK - Personality Isn't Permament, Bejamanin Hardy (Transcend yourself...)
Hi Fastlane friends,

I was action faking for a long time now and in the last few weeks, I have decided to take action and move forward.
after gaining clarity from reading "The one thing" suggested by MTF, I removed all the action fake and distracted to focus on only the work that matters the most.

I don't have a ton of work(Final exams are coming so will have within a week), just 4 to 6 hours a day.

my problem is after removing the distracting, I am not able to do the most important thing in my day(The only thing which will help to make me move forward), my body and mind refuse to work. I don't know what is happening even though I know this is what I should be doing.

I think this may be escapism. I jumped on the entrepreneurship bandwagon to avoid getting a job (I had painful internship experience) and now avoiding the work I must be doing.
I don't hate doing the important task, I don't love it either. I have no problem doing the stuff that won't make an impact like designing a logo.

I am not exercising for the past 14 days, I think this may also be the cause of the problem.

please help me, I think this is mindset stuff.

thanks

@ChrisV what do you think I should do.
I think Monfil has a great point. You need a goal and a grand plan. No you need to think deeper. I remember when I also started, I was just reading and relaxing and not doing much. But then I read about a special post on the forum, unfortunately lost to time.

It talked a lot about having your top 3 goals to be an entrepreneur. To write out all your reasons and then cut it down to these 3. Not a flashy car, or a million dollars. No, the real innate goals of why you want to be an entrepreneur.

What does money, time, freedom really mean to you, your family, and the people you care about?

My goals were:
Ability to take my family to travel to Monaco.
Ability to avoid the need of an wearing an uncomfortable suit and tie.(This was a big big one personally XD)
Ability to reduce the stress my parents go through caused by financial hardships, and to reward them for raising awesome children

By refining it all down to the goals I really cared about, I knew the pain of doing this was greater than the pain of not doing this.

Find your why's. Your real why's. And use those as the motivator.
 

WJK

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I know that you don't want to hear this, BUT... You are way too comfortable. Who is feeding you? Who is paying for a place for you to live? Who is paying the bill for you to have hot water for your shower? Who is paying for your schooling? Do you have spending money in your pocket? Where is it coming from?

Hungry people don't have your problem. Neither do people who are uncomfortable in their lives.

What you're missing is the fire in your belly. In order to be a successful entrepreneur, you must really, really want that success with all of your heart. You need to be willing to work longer and harder than almost everyone around you -- at all times of the day and night. -- or both night and day if necessary. You must educate yourself and constantly update and upgrade that education. You must be hungry for the next idea and opportunity. And work on your "bird-dogging" skill constantly. You must also develop grit -- the ability to approach life by being tough, tough, tough. You will have LOTS of failures and disappointments that must be endured, analyzed, and turned into advantages.

I guess that since you are too comfortable, you can always go get a job...
 

Raja

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I know that you don't want to hear this
No, This is exactly what I want to hear. I needed some tough love.

You are way too comfortable. Who is feeding you? Who is paying for a place for you to live? Who is paying the bill for you to have hot water for your shower? Who is paying for your schooling? Do you have spending money in your pocket? Where is it coming from?
Yes I am way too comfortable, it also stems from the knowledge, I am an app developer and people are willing to hire me within 15 days(some prefer 7 to 10 days) with salary 20-30% higher than peers(though I would agree they have low salary, but its good enough with indian standards).
My family is feeding me, living at my family's place. My parents are paying for my college. I am a huge saver, so I do have savings enough to last me 6 months but I don't really need to spend on anything.
You must educate yourself and constantly update and upgrade that education.
I was action faking on education so now I limit max 2 hrs of learning unless its my main and only task in the day.

I guess that since you are too comfortable, you can always go get a job...
I am giving myself one to two months to start making money, working on international platform will make me atleast 5 times what I would here.

I am still in college 2 more weeks,only final exam left. I wanted to get started before leaving the college.

Any suggestions for growing The fire inside and not to be comfortable.
 
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Flint

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Any suggestions for growing The fire inside and not to be comfortable.

I don't think it's the way to go. Even if you could ignite the flame to motivate yourself to massive action, it'd be temporary. It just costs energy, is not sustainable long term and after a while your body would shut down any unnecessary energy expenditure. So you'd go through a burn out, feeling shitty again and ending up where you are now. Rinse and repeat. You don't want your dopamine feedback loop to get distorted and be dependent on external influencers periodically pumping your state up.

This is why yo-yo dieting happens. All boils down to bad mental habits.

If you want to lose weight, you don't go on a diet. You change your lifestyle.

Make good choices easier and bad ones more difficult. If you don't want to be stuffing your face with a chocolate bar, don't put it in the shopping basket in the first place. It's the little things that matter. Not the Hollywood-like explosions igniting your action.

You don't need to spend too much time reading books on that. I'd just find a system that enables what you want to achieve and put in the work to get there. Building yourself is not dissimilar to building a business. Keep chipping away.

This is a very good take on that:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT7tQzmGRLA


Good luck!
 

Flint

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You lack a goal.

Any object can move forward by two different forces. It can be pushed, or it can be pulled.

Being pushed into entrepreneurship means doing it out of having excluded all of the other options (weak motivation).

Being pulled by entrepreneurship means doing it because it's fun or to achieve any other external purpose (freedom, etc, strong motivation)

To be pulled means therefore finding a purpose that would justify entrepreneurship.

Find your purpose.

When you will have one, you will start taking action towards it.

This book will help: BOOK - Personality Isn't Permament, Bejamanin Hardy (Transcend yourself...)

Good points. I'd add, as I explained in another thread, there are actually 4 forces. So pay attention to what's working in your favour and what's working against you. Inertia and friction/anxiety are also forces at play.

1623504992937.png
 

WJK

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No, This is exactly what I want to hear. I needed some tough love.


Yes I am way too comfortable, it also stems from the knowledge, I am an app developer and people are willing to hire me within 15 days(some prefer 7 to 10 days) with salary 20-30% higher than peers(though I would agree they have low salary, but its good enough with indian standards).
My family is feeding me, living at my family's place. My parents are paying for my college. I am a huge saver, so I do have savings enough to last me 6 months but I don't really need to spend on anything.

I was action faking on education so now I limit max 2 hrs of learning unless its my main and only task in the day.


I am giving myself one to two months to start making money, working on international platform will make me atleast 5 times what I would here.

I am still in college 2 more weeks,only final exam left. I wanted to get started before leaving the college.

Any suggestions for growing The fire inside and not to be comfortable.
Ok. I won't sugarcoat this for you... You are caught in a trap that a lot of kids face. I have raised two families. When the kids were young, they knew everything UNTIL they went out and tried to do it for themselves. By the time they were in their mid-20s, it's amazing how differently they saw me. Good parenting is a hard job that doesn't pay off for years and years. You never know when you are struggling with it, that you are successful. It's later that you know that you've done a good job.

I'll give you some background.

It's still evolving for me. I have an adopted son who just turned 50. He still talking about his experiences of me opening my door that day and taking him into my family. But, when he was little, he thought our tough love decisions were mean and unreasonable. We made him take showers and brush his teeth. He had to get up in the mornings and get himself off to school by using his alarm clock -- no excuses accepted. He had to do dishes and other household chores. Etc. Now, he talks about how his experiences with me as his "other mother" have really helped him.

I married my current husband when I was 50 and he had little kids My stepkids are at the point now where they now appreciate us. When they were young, my husband and I were the "cheapest people on God's green earth." We saved, we re-used, we didn't buy stuff that they thought they had to have, etc.. And we worked long, hard hours. We tried to explain our decisions to them, but they thought we were crazy for being SO conservative. Now my daughter is 24 and she has two babies. She calls me and asks for my advice. Now she thinks that we're smart and she thanks me for all that we did for her.

My point is that when you get out on your own, you will face challenges that you never knew were out there. This is a natural process that comes with growing up.

You can jump-start that process. Start tracking your progress. Project where you are going without that fire in your belly. Then start asking questions of everyone around you. Interview them. Everyone's favorite subject is themselves. Get them talking about how they got to where they are. You can learn a lot from people who have it right and people who are complete failures. Take notes and then journal about your findings. How did you feel about their answers and their stories? What rang true with you? Put on your gumshoes and your Fedora. Be a detective of Life. Go find out what others are doing and why. How did they make their decisions? How did those decisions work out for them? What would do differently if they had the chance to do it over again? Do they have major regrets? What was the best thing that they ever did in their lives? Be humble and really ask people about themselves.

After you go through that process, rethink what you want for yourself. Only then, make some long-term and short terms goals. You've got to know in your very gut that you are headed toward your personal North Star. Without that interreflection, you are spinning your wheels (as you have noticed) and getting nowhere fast. Continuing on your current path is a form of mental masturbation.
 
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