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Late 18, Painfully stressed and confused. Help?

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Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
Hello everyone, My name is Farrel Hakim and I've joined around the time I was 16 (so about two years ago). I came across this forum and MJ DeMarco's Unscripted because I wanted money and I didn't want to be a slowlaner. During the past two years I've changed a lot, still confused, but I've learned a lot that I didn't know before. To be transparent with all of you, my mindset has been bouncing back and forth. "Reality", and "Fantasy" in typical model citizen standards. Within these past two years I got a job at a retail store which I didn't completely hate but I would always despise the number on my paycheck. I recently quit that job and here's where the confusion becomes unbearable for me. I'm stressed. So, a lot of things have happened within the past month which are huge decisions for me to make, I would ask the people of this forum to pick my brain and give me advice based on experience because I definitely do not believe that I'm the only 18 year old having this problem.

This past month, I've quit my job and got a new job at a nursing home, full time and paying 40 ish cents more than minimum wage with the potential to climb fast (or so they said). Honestly, I chose this job because it was the only opportunity given to me that was full-time and paying more than minimum wage in NY ($15 an hour). This decision was easy for me, but in doing so, I would have to drop out of college which I am an undeclared major, paying $900 dollars (after aid) and not even doing the work (mostly) due to lack of motivation in classes, work, and situation with COVID right now. I think a lot of new college students are having this problem as well. I don't like going to school, I'll be perfectly honest, I'm only doing it because my parents told me I needed to do it. My biggest problem is, even if I was still in college, I don't know what major to choose, and I have very limited time to choose one. These excuses are why I don't want to go back. Tell me what you think about that. Another reason to the mix is because if I don't get this full-time job, I won't be able to pay for the new car my family (mom, sister, and I are splitting) which I'm paying around $450 a month plus rent, so around $800 per month not including the estimations for gas, etc. This new job allows me to pay for these fixed expenses, have room left over to invest say in... stocks, which I'm trying to get into right now (but iffy because it sounds a lot like gambling to me even though there is research and whatnot. I know MJ says it shouldn't be what you do long-term because it IS basically gambling. Still going to try it with a couple of loose change though). The nursing home job also gives me union benefits which I didn't have before.

I want to start transitioning into the fastlane at 18. I was thinking about business, real estate, which I know don't come easy, or maybe even the IT field if anyone knows how to get into that without a degree, maybe a couple of certifications. I'm asking you good, honest people of the fastlane forum to give me advice, share your knowledge with me, what should I do? Did I make the right decisions? People keep telling me I'm 18 and I should just have fun right now but I've always been the one to look at my future and I want to be able to make enough to move my parents back to my country and let them be comfortable financially. I also like luxury and I want to be able to make the income (I know it's not gonna be 2, 4 - 10 years, it's going to take a while, but if I have the right guidance, guidelines, blueprints, I will surely get there) I just need to know what these blueprints are, and how to be able to do what I want to do.

Thank you guys so much for taking your time to read my post, and I will look forward to seeing your responses if anything. Have a great day wherever and whenever you are!
 

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Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
dont bother investing in stocks with that little income

you invest a few $100 a month, what do you have in 12 months? a few grand? Better to invest that in yourself or paid traffic, website, stock etc, and see exponential returns
Thanks, that makes perfect sense. Will use this advice.
 

Dora Wi

Contributor
Aug 19, 2020
35
53
97
Hungary
I think your mindset is very respectable. The only thing I feel "qualified" to comment on is college. As someone who went to college thanks to pressure from parents while having no idea what I actually wanted to do or who I even was, I think you shouldn't force yourself to pursue it if you don't feel passionate about it. I'll admit I'm biased though, so of course, you should carefully weigh the pros and cons of finishing college vs leaving it. But no matter what they tell you, it's never too late to go back to studying if you don't do college now but end up wanting to do it in the future.
 

Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
I think your mindset is very respectable. The only thing I feel "qualified" to comment on is college. As someone who went to college thanks to pressure from parents while having no idea what I actually wanted to do or who I even was, I think you shouldn't force yourself to pursue it if you don't feel passionate about it. I'll admit I'm biased though, so of course, you should carefully weigh the pros and cons of finishing college vs leaving it. But no matter what they tell you, it's never too late to go back to studying if you don't do college now but end up wanting to do it in the future.
I feel the same way, and I appreciate your input! Thank you for taking the time to read this post and share your advice!
 

peddletothemetal

Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Apr 5, 2021
19
20
21
I'd pick a marketable skill closest to something you've already done or enjoyed doing, such as if you liked drawing cartoons then graphic design, if you have bilingual language skills then translation, etc, and freelance that. That's the quickest way to get your feet wet in business.

Only pursue IT field if you've got some interest or aptitude in it, as it's actually quite painful once you have to do it under pressure, especially it's not something you had natural interest in.

Don't worry about degrees, you don't need them in IT or otherwise (I've been a hiring manager before, we don't look at them), you just need evidence of capability and enough knowledge to answer basic questions correctly to get in.
 

AdanMF

New Contributor
Apr 24, 2021
1
1
4
Hello everyone, My name is Farrel Hakim and I've joined around the time I was 16 (so about two years ago). I came across this forum and MJ DeMarco's Unscripted because I wanted money and I didn't want to be a slowlaner. During the past two years I've changed a lot, still confused, but I've learned a lot that I didn't know before. To be transparent with all of you, my mindset has been bouncing back and forth. "Reality", and "Fantasy" in typical model citizen standards. Within these past two years I got a job at a retail store which I didn't completely hate but I would always despise the number on my paycheck. I recently quit that job and here's where the confusion becomes unbearable for me. I'm stressed. So, a lot of things have happened within the past month which are huge decisions for me to make, I would ask the people of this forum to pick my brain and give me advice based on experience because I definitely do not believe that I'm the only 18 year old having this problem.

This past month, I've quit my job and got a new job at a nursing home, full time and paying 40 ish cents more than minimum wage with the potential to climb fast (or so they said). Honestly, I chose this job because it was the only opportunity given to me that was full-time and paying more than minimum wage in NY ($15 an hour). This decision was easy for me, but in doing so, I would have to drop out of college which I am an undeclared major, paying $900 dollars (after aid) and not even doing the work (mostly) due to lack of motivation in classes, work, and situation with COVID right now. I think a lot of new college students are having this problem as well. I don't like going to school, I'll be perfectly honest, I'm only doing it because my parents told me I needed to do it. My biggest problem is, even if I was still in college, I don't know what major to choose, and I have very limited time to choose one. These excuses are why I don't want to go back. Tell me what you think about that. Another reason to the mix is because if I don't get this full-time job, I won't be able to pay for the new car my family (mom, sister, and I are splitting) which I'm paying around $450 a month plus rent, so around $800 per month not including the estimations for gas, etc. This new job allows me to pay for these fixed expenses, have room left over to invest say in... stocks, which I'm trying to get into right now (but iffy because it sounds a lot like gambling to me even though there is research and whatnot. I know MJ says it shouldn't be what you do long-term because it IS basically gambling. Still going to try it with a couple of loose change though). The nursing home job also gives me union benefits which I didn't have before.

I want to start transitioning into the fastlane at 18. I was thinking about business, real estate, which I know don't come easy, or maybe even the IT field if anyone knows how to get into that without a degree, maybe a couple of certifications. I'm asking you good, honest people of the fastlane forum to give me advice, share your knowledge with me, what should I do? Did I make the right decisions? People keep telling me I'm 18 and I should just have fun right now but I've always been the one to look at my future and I want to be able to make enough to move my parents back to my country and let them be comfortable financially. I also like luxury and I want to be able to make the income (I know it's not gonna be 2, 4 - 10 years, it's going to take a while, but if I have the right guidance, guidelines, blueprints, I will surely get there) I just need to know what these blueprints are, and how to be able to do what I want to do.

Thank you guys so much for taking your time to read my post, and I will look forward to seeing your responses if anything. Have a great day wherever and whenever you are!
I can understand how you feel about school, I also dropped last year, whit the excuse of getting into a new one whit better equipment, but whit this time I have choose what I want out of life, also I found a couple of mentors in Real State in Youtube I only need the money for the courses, meanwhile I´m having a lot of fun learning by my own, it´s amazing the amount of free knowledge in Youtube about programming, even tho I bought a course online, I also remember this girl from a video 3 or 4 years old, that got enough money by selling only what she could find in garage sales and so on, also I´m 21
 

Bruno Calisso

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Mar 26, 2019
49
65
113
27
Portugal
Late teens and early twenties are terrible for a young man, even depressing, as you are starting to figure yourself out. My advice, based on my experience is:

- stay out of debt
- save at least $10K
- learn as maximum skills as you can

For this it's ideal to try several oddjobs and stuff... Don't try to follow a certain path when you are so unsure and green on life, you'll regret later and you'll want to quit whatever it is your planned carreer. You can help your family by working on anything.

This is a time of exponential growth.

In the next 5-10 years focus on growing, you will be glad that you followed the right path and made good choices ten years from now.

- Save money for adulthood (later you'll be more prepared for life surprises and have more resources to start investing when you're sure about what you want to do).

- Read as maximum as you can, on business, management, ecommerce, etc.

- Invest on personal development, invest in your selfdiscipline, responsability, health, your emotional wellbeing, etc. For the fastlane to work you need to be on your best. There is no way out of this.

- Have fun, learn as maximum as you can, grow slowly but good and save money.

In a few years you'll be ready for whatever it is that you need/want.
 

Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
I'd pick a marketable skill closest to something you've already done or enjoyed doing, such as if you liked drawing cartoons then graphic design, if you have bilingual language skills then translation, etc, and freelance that. That's the quickest way to get your feet wet in business.

Only pursue IT field if you've got some interest or aptitude in it, as it's actually quite painful once you have to do it under pressure, especially it's not something you had natural interest in.

Don't worry about degrees, you don't need them in IT or otherwise (I've been a hiring manager before, we don't look at them), you just need evidence of capability and enough knowledge to answer basic questions correctly to get in.
This was extremely helpful! Thank you so much for the advice!
 

Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
I can understand how you feel about school, I also dropped last year, whit the excuse of getting into a new one whit better equipment, but whit this time I have choose what I want out of life, also I found a couple of mentors in Real State in Youtube I only need the money for the courses, meanwhile I´m having a lot of fun learning by my own, it´s amazing the amount of free knowledge in Youtube about programming, even tho I bought a course online, I also remember this girl from a video 3 or 4 years old, that got enough money by selling only what she could find in garage sales and so on, also I´m 21
Youtube is so useful, glad you're getting a lot if value from it, I hope that you grow in your success! Good luck and thank you for replying.
 

Farrel Hakim

New Contributor
May 22, 2019
10
9
14
Late teens and early twenties are terrible for a young man, even depressing, as you are starting to figure yourself out. My advice, based on my experience is:

- stay out of debt
- save at least $10K
- learn as maximum skills as you can

For this it's ideal to try several oddjobs and stuff... Don't try to follow a certain path when you are so unsure and green on life, you'll regret later and you'll want to quit whatever it is your planned carreer. You can help your family by working on anything.

This is a time of exponential growth.

In the next 5-10 years focus on growing, you will be glad that you followed the right path and made good choices ten years from now.

- Save money for adulthood (later you'll be more prepared for life surprises and have more resources to start investing when you're sure about what you want to do).

- Read as maximum as you can, on business, management, ecommerce, etc.

- Invest on personal development, invest in your selfdiscipline, responsability, health, your emotional wellbeing, etc. For the fastlane to work you need to be on your best. There is no way out of this.

- Have fun, learn as maximum as you can, grow slowly but good and save money.

In a few years you'll be ready for whatever it is that you need/want.
Amazing advice, I will definitely try to pick up new skills and save money for the future! I appreciate your comment.
 

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Bekit

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Aug 13, 2018
881
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Working for a nursing home is useful, as it is a source of income that you can always find, no matter what state you live in. When the wolf is at the door, it's better to have some income than none.

I question why the car is $450/month for you if you are splitting it with your parents and sister. Are you paying for it by yourself and then sharing it with them? Or are all three of you on the title? When I was in a situation back in 2014 where I was making $9.25/hour, the best decision I ever made was to buy a 1997 Toyota Corolla for $2800. It had 110,000 miles on it when I bought it. Now it has 212,000 and it still runs like a dream. Just two weeks ago, I drove it across the country from Colorado to Virginia and it worked perfectly. An expensive car will rob from you far more than it gives, considering that a cheap car will get you from point A to point B just as well. I would personally look into selling the car if you can and replace it with one that won't eat so far into your funds.

College - yeah it's hard to see how college will help you at this stage. Your parents think you need it because that was the kind of advice that would have worked for them when they were your age. The world is different now. The only degrees that might be worth getting are certain very advanced fields with high salaries, like medicine or engineering. Anything other than that is pretty much a joke in terms of helping you to get hired for good money. And I'm not just talking about your typical "fluffy" degrees, like humanities or psychology or English. Example: my cousin recently got her PhD in computational quantum chemistry. Guess how much she can make with a degree like that? Around $60,000 a year. Yeah. A person without a degree can make double that if they get a good sales job.

I would focus on looking for a need to meet. Quoting @Andy Black , "Who can you help?"

Once you find out what need you want to meet, there are ways to get the knowledge without going through college. And while a college degree used to help you in job applications, employers are discovering that a degree is no indicator of likely job performance.

So I would focus on finding a need. Keep your eyes open at your nursing home job. What pain points do you experience on a daily basis? Where could something really make your life easier and save you (and your coworkers) time? Could you develop that thing?

I would also look into jobs at trades where they struggle to find workers. You can make $90,000 a year with no degree if you go into something like welding or being a diesel mechanic. You don't have to do it forever, but it would be a way to get a much bigger reward for your time so that you can free yourself up to meet your goals quicker.

You're carrying a lot of pressure right now, but I think you have the attitude and drive to make this work. Keep us posted! You've got this!
 

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