Joel Heffner
Contributor
I've always known something was wrong. Life had never made sense to me when I was growing up. My parents didn't hate their jobs, and they had "good jobs". How was I supposed to get excited about trading hours for dollars? There has to be more in life, right? Well, I was too lazy and too uninformed to figure things out on my own. Being an extreme introvert doesn't help, and was a good excuse to get addicted to video games and porn. So much easier(in the short term) than actually dealing with this crappy reality.
Age 14-18
High school was...mostly bad.I could function socially through decent enough athletic ability(basketball/soccer) but never felt I fit in. I barely graduated High School. I was always told that I had so much potential if I'd just apply myself. Apply myself to what!? Okay, I'll give this school thing a shot. There was one year in High school that I semi-tried. I got on the honor roll for that year, but the joy was fleeting. What will this gain me? The right to go through MORE school? The chance to attempt to sit still for 4+ MORE years while being lectured about MORE subjects that I care nothing about?
Well, Most of this is reflection. I didn't understand what I was going through fully. Much of the depression and anxiety I was experiencing was what many go through. Our educational system mostly has NO idea how to deal with high-energy young men. Some of the issue was abuse(no crying, life sucks sometimes) by extended family. And a good chunk of the issue came from both of my parents having gone through their Masters programs and fully expected that my Brother and I do the same.
I tried! I joined our local Junior college. One class had an open-forum discussion which I thrived in. Everything else that wasn't the basketball "class" was lecture based...and I failed them.
Age 20
Okay, let's try the military then! My Dad was Army(drafted) so After failing in school I thought I could use some discipline. I was clever enough to score well enough on the AZVAB to have my choice of jobs in the USAF. I chose F-15C Avionics backshop. Old Jet, old Technology. Was more like a mechanic job than a high-tech electronics job. Locked inside a vault with no windows does wonders for someone who loves trees and being outside.
Discipline? Maybe some, but more being a sheep just like most jobs with more restrictions on what you can do and higher risk.(Saudi Arabia is so...brown.)
So let's see, how can I mess this up...Get a woman pregnant on the other side of the country! Done.
Bill Clinton was nice enough to have put a program in place for an early out so I took advantage of that so I could help raise my daughter.
Back as a civilian after a 4.5 year detour, so I tried School again. Maybe this time I can do it since I'll have a family to support? No. No. WOW, No.
Age 25
Addicted to video games still, no job, no education. No Drive. My new Pastor helped get me steered back towards society, which was seemingly better than the downward spiral of gaming all day. I met my now wife through the Pastor's wife. Figured I better get a job.
Age 26
I worked at the Church office as a part time administrator. Low pay AND boredom? Sign me up!
Age 27
I worked at Rent-A-Center and got to first hand see and interact with the dregs of society.
Age 28
I Finally "landed" a job in the welding supply industry where I am currently still employed at and have "worked my way up" to a store manager position.
Age 38
Three kids and a Mortgage. Never could shake the feeling that something is wrong.
April of 2018:
I thought taking the store manager job might spark my interest in this industry. Wrong. I cam to the conclusion that I can't do this anymore, but now I have to fight the "am I too late" thought train.
I started to devour videos by entrepreneurs.
I began to make lifestyle changes.
I started to dream again.
I am reading books via audiobooks, and making much better use of my time.
I am preparing to make my exit from the 7-5(who the hell works 9-5?) job.
I have come so far in such a short time, where would I be if I'd started this journey at 28? 25? 20? 18?
I now am fighting more of the script that has been ingrained in me even though I never fully bought in to it.
I can't turn back, because I've already begun to see what's possible. A mind expanded by knowledge can never retract to it's original state.
I can't let my kids journey look like mine, and I will not settle for this lie anymore.
I'm excited to be here, looking forward to learning and taking action!
Thank you MJ DeMarco!
Age 14-18
High school was...mostly bad.I could function socially through decent enough athletic ability(basketball/soccer) but never felt I fit in. I barely graduated High School. I was always told that I had so much potential if I'd just apply myself. Apply myself to what!? Okay, I'll give this school thing a shot. There was one year in High school that I semi-tried. I got on the honor roll for that year, but the joy was fleeting. What will this gain me? The right to go through MORE school? The chance to attempt to sit still for 4+ MORE years while being lectured about MORE subjects that I care nothing about?
Well, Most of this is reflection. I didn't understand what I was going through fully. Much of the depression and anxiety I was experiencing was what many go through. Our educational system mostly has NO idea how to deal with high-energy young men. Some of the issue was abuse(no crying, life sucks sometimes) by extended family. And a good chunk of the issue came from both of my parents having gone through their Masters programs and fully expected that my Brother and I do the same.
I tried! I joined our local Junior college. One class had an open-forum discussion which I thrived in. Everything else that wasn't the basketball "class" was lecture based...and I failed them.
Age 20
Okay, let's try the military then! My Dad was Army(drafted) so After failing in school I thought I could use some discipline. I was clever enough to score well enough on the AZVAB to have my choice of jobs in the USAF. I chose F-15C Avionics backshop. Old Jet, old Technology. Was more like a mechanic job than a high-tech electronics job. Locked inside a vault with no windows does wonders for someone who loves trees and being outside.
Discipline? Maybe some, but more being a sheep just like most jobs with more restrictions on what you can do and higher risk.(Saudi Arabia is so...brown.)
So let's see, how can I mess this up...Get a woman pregnant on the other side of the country! Done.
Bill Clinton was nice enough to have put a program in place for an early out so I took advantage of that so I could help raise my daughter.
Back as a civilian after a 4.5 year detour, so I tried School again. Maybe this time I can do it since I'll have a family to support? No. No. WOW, No.
Age 25
Addicted to video games still, no job, no education. No Drive. My new Pastor helped get me steered back towards society, which was seemingly better than the downward spiral of gaming all day. I met my now wife through the Pastor's wife. Figured I better get a job.
Age 26
I worked at the Church office as a part time administrator. Low pay AND boredom? Sign me up!
Age 27
I worked at Rent-A-Center and got to first hand see and interact with the dregs of society.
Age 28
I Finally "landed" a job in the welding supply industry where I am currently still employed at and have "worked my way up" to a store manager position.
Age 38
Three kids and a Mortgage. Never could shake the feeling that something is wrong.
April of 2018:
I thought taking the store manager job might spark my interest in this industry. Wrong. I cam to the conclusion that I can't do this anymore, but now I have to fight the "am I too late" thought train.
I started to devour videos by entrepreneurs.
I began to make lifestyle changes.
I started to dream again.
I am reading books via audiobooks, and making much better use of my time.
I am preparing to make my exit from the 7-5(who the hell works 9-5?) job.
I have come so far in such a short time, where would I be if I'd started this journey at 28? 25? 20? 18?
I now am fighting more of the script that has been ingrained in me even though I never fully bought in to it.
I can't turn back, because I've already begun to see what's possible. A mind expanded by knowledge can never retract to it's original state.
I can't let my kids journey look like mine, and I will not settle for this lie anymore.
I'm excited to be here, looking forward to learning and taking action!
Thank you MJ DeMarco!
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