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It's harder to start the longer you wait

Joel Heffner

Contributor
Sep 25, 2018
3
21
43
Modesto, CA
I've always known something was wrong. Life had never made sense to me when I was growing up. My parents didn't hate their jobs, and they had "good jobs". How was I supposed to get excited about trading hours for dollars? There has to be more in life, right? Well, I was too lazy and too uninformed to figure things out on my own. Being an extreme introvert doesn't help, and was a good excuse to get addicted to video games and porn. So much easier(in the short term) than actually dealing with this crappy reality.

Age 14-18
High school was...mostly bad.I could function socially through decent enough athletic ability(basketball/soccer) but never felt I fit in. I barely graduated High School. I was always told that I had so much potential if I'd just apply myself. Apply myself to what!? Okay, I'll give this school thing a shot. There was one year in High school that I semi-tried. I got on the honor roll for that year, but the joy was fleeting. What will this gain me? The right to go through MORE school? The chance to attempt to sit still for 4+ MORE years while being lectured about MORE subjects that I care nothing about?

Well, Most of this is reflection. I didn't understand what I was going through fully. Much of the depression and anxiety I was experiencing was what many go through. Our educational system mostly has NO idea how to deal with high-energy young men. Some of the issue was abuse(no crying, life sucks sometimes) by extended family. And a good chunk of the issue came from both of my parents having gone through their Masters programs and fully expected that my Brother and I do the same.

I tried! I joined our local Junior college. One class had an open-forum discussion which I thrived in. Everything else that wasn't the basketball "class" was lecture based...and I failed them.

Age 20
Okay, let's try the military then! My Dad was Army(drafted) so After failing in school I thought I could use some discipline. I was clever enough to score well enough on the AZVAB to have my choice of jobs in the USAF. I chose F-15C Avionics backshop. Old Jet, old Technology. Was more like a mechanic job than a high-tech electronics job. Locked inside a vault with no windows does wonders for someone who loves trees and being outside.

Discipline? Maybe some, but more being a sheep just like most jobs with more restrictions on what you can do and higher risk.(Saudi Arabia is so...brown.)

So let's see, how can I mess this up...Get a woman pregnant on the other side of the country! Done.

Bill Clinton was nice enough to have put a program in place for an early out so I took advantage of that so I could help raise my daughter.

Back as a civilian after a 4.5 year detour, so I tried School again. Maybe this time I can do it since I'll have a family to support? No. No. WOW, No.

Age 25
Addicted to video games still, no job, no education. No Drive. My new Pastor helped get me steered back towards society, which was seemingly better than the downward spiral of gaming all day. I met my now wife through the Pastor's wife. Figured I better get a job.

Age 26
I worked at the Church office as a part time administrator. Low pay AND boredom? Sign me up!

Age 27
I worked at Rent-A-Center and got to first hand see and interact with the dregs of society.

Age 28
I Finally "landed" a job in the welding supply industry where I am currently still employed at and have "worked my way up" to a store manager position.

Age 38
Three kids and a Mortgage. Never could shake the feeling that something is wrong.

April of 2018:
I thought taking the store manager job might spark my interest in this industry. Wrong. I cam to the conclusion that I can't do this anymore, but now I have to fight the "am I too late" thought train.
I started to devour videos by entrepreneurs.
I began to make lifestyle changes.
I started to dream again.
I am reading books via audiobooks, and making much better use of my time.
I am preparing to make my exit from the 7-5(who the hell works 9-5?) job.
I have come so far in such a short time, where would I be if I'd started this journey at 28? 25? 20? 18?
I now am fighting more of the script that has been ingrained in me even though I never fully bought in to it.

I can't turn back, because I've already begun to see what's possible. A mind expanded by knowledge can never retract to it's original state.

I can't let my kids journey look like mine, and I will not settle for this lie anymore.

I'm excited to be here, looking forward to learning and taking action!

Thank you MJ Demarco!
 
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The Abundant Man

Gold Contributor
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Jul 3, 2018
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MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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Great intro, welcome my friend!
 

George Appiah

Silver Contributor
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Aug 16, 2018
278
539
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Accra, Ghana
Welcome to the community, @Joel Heffner .

I'm also 38, just like you.

But unlike you, I live in one of the "shit-hole countries" (as your president Donald Trump calls us) -- with severe infrastructure constraints and very limited local opportunities.

Yet I'm persevering and hustling every day, and I've no doubt in my mind, if nothing at all, I'll leave a better legacy to my 3-year-old boy than my parents handed to me.

So stay positive, and stay the course.

And keep the momentum going with gazelle intensity!
 
Last edited:

Joel Heffner

Contributor
Sep 25, 2018
3
21
43
Modesto, CA
Welcome to the community, @Joel Heffner .

I'm also 38, just like you.

But unlike you, I live in one of the "sh*t-hole countries" (as your president Donald Trump calls us) -- with severe infrastructure constraints and very limited local opportunities.

Yet I'm persevering and hustling every day, and I've no doubt in my mind, if nothing at all, I'll leave a better legacy to my 3-year-old boy than my parents handed to me.

So stay positive, and stay the course.

And keep the momentum going with gazelle intensity!

Awesome George!
There is i something to be said for oppression, pain and awful hands dealt to you in life in that it forces you into extremes. This is why people in countries where Christianity carries with it a death penalty are the strongest in their faith. If someone has it easy, there is little reason for them to strive for extreme changes.

I almost have to manufacture my drive and my pain points to push me to the next level, to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Does that make sense? The script is different for different parts of the world, that's for sure.

I'm rooting for you!
 

Never1

Bronze Contributor
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Nov 13, 2015
58
115
Canada
I’m 39 with 3 kids and a mortgage.... exactly like you.

almost worse, I work as a professional musician and gig mostly on weekends, and otherwise I’m stuck as a stay at home dad while my wife (an RN) works. I fell into this new “role” shortly after my last business folded, and it was not voluntary.

I’m broke, up to my eyeballs in debt and sick and tired of it.

I have tons of new business ideas and am working on one, but I’m usually exhausted, Scattered brained and can barely make any progress. The script has me by the balls. Kids are 5,3, and 1 years old.

Even writing this little post response has been challenging . All three are at my feet clambering for my attention.

I hate this.

I’m gonna get myself out of it.

Man, I f’ing hate this.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

The Abundant Man

Gold Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Jul 3, 2018
1,429
2,116
I’m 39 with 3 kids and a mortgage.... exactly like you.

almost worse, I work as a professional musician and gig mostly on weekends, and otherwise I’m stuck as a stay at home dad while my wife (an RN) works. I fell into this new “role” shortly after my last business folded, and it was not voluntary.

I’m broke, up to my eyeballs in debt and sick and tired of it.

I have tons of new business ideas and am working on one, but I’m usually exhausted, Scattered brained and can barely make any progress. The script has me by the balls. Kids are 5,3, and 1 years old.

Even writing this little post response has been challenging . All three are at my feet clambering for my attention.

I hate this.

I’m gonna get myself out of it.

Man, I f’ing hate this.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Kids are so much fun. I'd play with them all day long. Go build some forts or something.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 
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RoadTrip

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
Nov 27, 2012
283
434
I hate this.

I’m gonna get myself out of it.

Man, I f’ing hate this.

Don’t hate it too much. It’s going to burn you out if you’re not making fast enough process in your Fastlane ventures. Acknowledge your goals, work towards them efficiently but please appreciate everything you have right now. Don’t make the same mistake I have, it’s going to set you back even further and you won’t be enjoying life during the process.
 

VIVEKSINGHJADONS

VSJ
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Sep 18, 2018
57
95
India
I've always known something was wrong. Life had never made sense to me when I was growing up. My parents didn't hate their jobs, and they had "good jobs". How was I supposed to get excited about trading hours for dollars? There has to be more in life, right? Well, I was too lazy and too uninformed to figure things out on my own. Being an extreme introvert doesn't help, and was a good excuse to get addicted to video games and porn. So much easier(in the short term) than actually dealing with this crappy reality.

Age 14-18
High school was...mostly bad.I could function socially through decent enough athletic ability(basketball/soccer) but never felt I fit in. I barely graduated High School. I was always told that I had so much potential if I'd just apply myself. Apply myself to what!? Okay, I'll give this school thing a shot. There was one year in High school that I semi-tried. I got on the honor roll for that year, but the joy was fleeting. What will this gain me? The right to go through MORE school? The chance to attempt to sit still for 4+ MORE years while being lectured about MORE subjects that I care nothing about?

Well, Most of this is reflection. I didn't understand what I was going through fully. Much of the depression and anxiety I was experiencing was what many go through. Our educational system mostly has NO idea how to deal with high-energy young men. Some of the issue was abuse(no crying, life sucks sometimes) by extended family. And a good chunk of the issue came from both of my parents having gone through their Masters programs and fully expected that my Brother and I do the same.

I tried! I joined our local Junior college. One class had an open-forum discussion which I thrived in. Everything else that wasn't the basketball "class" was lecture based...and I failed them.

Age 20
Okay, let's try the military then! My Dad was Army(drafted) so After failing in school I thought I could use some discipline. I was clever enough to score well enough on the AZVAB to have my choice of jobs in the USAF. I chose F-15C Avionics backshop. Old Jet, old Technology. Was more like a mechanic job than a high-tech electronics job. Locked inside a vault with no windows does wonders for someone who loves trees and being outside.

Discipline? Maybe some, but more being a sheep just like most jobs with more restrictions on what you can do and higher risk.(Saudi Arabia is so...brown.)

So let's see, how can I mess this up...Get a woman pregnant on the other side of the country! Done.

Bill Clinton was nice enough to have put a program in place for an early out so I took advantage of that so I could help raise my daughter.

Back as a civilian after a 4.5 year detour, so I tried School again. Maybe this time I can do it since I'll have a family to support? No. No. WOW, No.

Age 25
Addicted to video games still, no job, no education. No Drive. My new Pastor helped get me steered back towards society, which was seemingly better than the downward spiral of gaming all day. I met my now wife through the Pastor's wife. Figured I better get a job.

Age 26
I worked at the Church office as a part time administrator. Low pay AND boredom? Sign me up!

Age 27
I worked at Rent-A-Center and got to first hand see and interact with the dregs of society.

Age 28
I Finally "landed" a job in the welding supply industry where I am currently still employed at and have "worked my way up" to a store manager position.

Age 38
Three kids and a Mortgage. Never could shake the feeling that something is wrong.

April of 2018:
I thought taking the store manager job might spark my interest in this industry. Wrong. I cam to the conclusion that I can't do this anymore, but now I have to fight the "am I too late" thought train.
I started to devour videos by entrepreneurs.
I began to make lifestyle changes.
I started to dream again.
I am reading books via audiobooks, and making much better use of my time.
I am preparing to make my exit from the 7-5(who the hell works 9-5?) job.
I have come so far in such a short time, where would I be if I'd started this journey at 28? 25? 20? 18?
I now am fighting more of the script that has been ingrained in me even though I never fully bought in to it.

I can't turn back, because I've already begun to see what's possible. A mind expanded by knowledge can never retract to it's original state.

I can't let my kids journey look like mine, and I will not settle for this lie anymore.

I'm excited to be here, looking forward to learning and taking action!

Thank you MJ Demarco!
Welcome to the forum man. We are at the same stage of life. Best wishes for your Fastlane journey.
 
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Never1

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Nov 13, 2015
58
115
Canada
Don’t hate it too much. It’s going to burn you out if you’re not making fast enough process in your Fastlane ventures. Acknowledge your goals, work towards them efficiently but please appreciate everything you have right now. Don’t make the same mistake I have, it’s going to set you back even further and you won’t be enjoying life during the process.

I’m totally in agreement with what you’re saying. I’m certainly not taking family time for granted. I just feel I’m better serving my family as a provider. I’m not wired to be in this predominantly nurturing and domestic role.

I’m not “above” it, because frankly the needs of the household and kids outweigh everything.

But, I also don’t like it and I can’t help but feel as if I’m stuck.

I’m trying to be as productive as possible, in the moments and minutes that I can.

I’ll get out of this, hopefully by the time all three are in grade school. That’s my timeline (3-4 yrs)

For now, it’s process and process and process on acquiring the skills I need to build my next venture.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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