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INTRO I'm gonna be a dad.. Did I just lose the Fastlane?

Discussion in 'Forum Introductions (Who are you!?)' started by Yikes86, Jun 30, 2017.

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  1. SinisterLex
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    SinisterLex The moments that define you have already happened. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Oh, interesting, totally missed this one. I'm 30 with a wife of 7 years and a baby on the way. Wife has a job and I work from home. Some similarities. Some differences. There's a lot of uncertainties now that we don't have the military to fall back on.

    Anyway, I don't really have any advice. But in a sense I can relate. Fear follows uncertainty. I don't know what'll happen tomorrow. Will I have clients? Will I be able to pay myself? Can I support this baby? I don't know. But I will.

    Seems like a roll of the dice, but there's more than luck involved when you find determination and the will to win.
    If you know you can, you might. If you quit before you start, you won't.
     
  2. PedroG
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    PedroG Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    It's up to you if you lose it or not. My son is 4. Since he was born I've created 4 software products (that required many months of work), 2 that failed, plus my current project (SaaS & app).

    When I'm home all my son wants to do is play with me. It's not easy but when you feel you MUST reach the fastlane, you find a way. And when you stop wasting time on things unimportant, you realize you have more time than you thought you had.

    Before I had a kid I was talking to a group of aquaintenances about some of my projects that I was working on and one of them said "how do you have time to do all of that?" "By not having a kid," said one of them, as if that's the reason he's not doing sh*t himself.

    Now that I have a kid, nothing has changed and I'm more motivated than ever. I'm sure that when I reach my goal and quit my job, that same guy will claim it's because I only have one kid and not multiple like he does.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2017
  3. Iammelissamoore
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    Iammelissamoore Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Firstly - Congratulations on your next chapter.

    On reading your post, I've already seen 3 superb (FTEs) that can literally light a fire under your butt to get your Fastlane in a gear. lol.

    Are you kidding me? Lol, man, I'll just tell you that you are not alone, every single individual in this space has experienced one of, if not all of what you are asking at some time that drove us to our journeys. This is not the end of the world for you, but I will admit that depending on the outcomes you want for you and your family, you have some choices to make - nope, we're not here to judge you or to tell you what to do, this ball is mos def in your court.

    Oh, but most importantly, to answer your question, NO, you're not going to lose at the fastlane because of your circumstances, what can make you lose at fastlaning is if you make a solid choice to not make it happen.
     
  4. joelvaldez
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    joelvaldez Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    I agree with most people here saying that it's more of a positive thing the fact that you are having a kid, and that it can (and most certainly will) become a strong motivator. I do want to add something though for people that want to start their business and that are also thinking of having a kid but not yet expecting.

    Analysing your context, it is not a bad thing nor an excuse the fact that you are expecting a kid, but, it is also true that it can be harder to build a successful business while learning to be (or being) a parent; a good one.

    My daughter is 1 year old, and I started my first business 7 years ago. I can't imagine going through the grind of entrepreneurship and the work and lack of sleep I've been through in the last 12 months, all at the same time.

    One has to be optimistic, but also realistic and true to facts. If you are reading this and are thinking about starting a business and having a kid at the same time, think twice and do one thing at a time. Both are major projects, plan accordingly. If you are already there, then no excuses, put in the hours and make it happen, just don't expect it to be any easier, although for some more motivating.
     
  5. Laughingman21
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    Laughingman21 Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    First off - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

    Becoming a dad is one of the greatest experiences life has to give. You're about to go through a roller coaster of emotions, but I can guarantee you that you've never found yourself smiling and laughing as much in your life until you have a kid around. They're little miracles of joy and love.

    As for the fastlane, you've just given yourself an even bigger reason to move lanes for a number of reasons:
    • Time - if you stay in the slowlane, you'll rarely get to see your kid. It'll be the weekends and whatever time you can find once you get home from work (i.e. when you're tired and not at your best)
    • Role Model - kids are always trying to copy their parents. You're their number one role model. Do you want them to follow you into the slowlane?
    • Hypocrisy - you know the fastlane is a better bet and you'll try to teach that to them, but if they see you in the slowlane, they'll think you're a hypocrite and won't be as willing to learn
    • Teacher - your kids will come to you for life lessons. If you've learned how to move lanes, you can help them when it's their time to make the lane change.
    I'm still trying to move lanes, but I can guarantee you that my motivation is my kids. I want to inspire them to go after their own ambitions, not follow the script.

    Everything I'm learning now, I want to pass onto my kids. When they're old enough, I want to have the skills and knowledge to pass to them to give them a head start in the fastlane.
     
    Dunkafelics and Romeo D. like this.
  6. Chris McCarron
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    Chris McCarron Contributor

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    1. Are there negatives to being a dad? Yup.
    2. Will you get less sh*t done? Yup.
    3. Are there more positives than negatives in business to being a dad? Hell yeah!
    4. Will you do better in business? If you use it correctly, then Hell yeah!
    I want to expand a little on my fourth point: You'll be able to connect with more people in business on a personal level because you'll be able to associate your daily life with their's.

    Additionally, a lot of funny stuff happens that helps to remove mental barriers about what you would like to propose. I.e. I often talk about the time my son was shooting me with Nerf bullets while I was on a call worth $85k.

    Finally, you stop being afraid and putting things off the moment you think about how you need to do it for your family... Not for yourself.

    Sounds simple, but insanely effective.
     
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  7. Yoann
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    Yoann New Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Congratulations !
    If you can be a great father, being successful in your professional life will be easy as hell.

    To tell you a bit of my story, when my wife was pregnant, I really freaked out, I wasn't ready to be a father AT ALL... I really like to be at peace and lonely, I'm the kind of guy who loves to walk in a deserted place just because there is noone around... so when she told me we would have a baby, man, my world collapsed. I almost fainted with discomfort. "Man, what am I going to do now...." I kept saying to myself.

    Weeks passed, but I held on, I tried to work on myself, I wasn't planning to leave anyway or take any other stupid decision. I couldn't change the situation so I changed myself. When my son was born, everything had changed, I became more than ready in a few days.

    Now, my son is 5 years old and has been diagnosed an Asperger Syndrome when he was 3. So we had to take care of him 10 times more than a neurotypical baby. He's now doing absolutely fine as we took it very early with specific courses and training.

    My son and I have now an incredible relationship and my couple is stronger than ever (we're getting married in September)
    So if you're ready to be a father, having a child can't stop you, the fastlane isn't lost, you might actually get to it faster if you turn this great news to your advantage. As I read in most successful stories the secret is : never give up !
     
  8. RoadTrip
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    RoadTrip Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I have been building 3 businesses over the past 3,5 years. Starting with the first business right before my first son was born. This next to a full-time job. My wife doesnt work and takes care of the kids. I worked on the business in the evening after the kids went to bed.

    Two of the businesses have failed even though I've put a lot of effort in both of them. But not because of the kids. Now I'm working on the third business but since the birth of our second son last November it started to become very difficult to handle. Taking care of a small baby and a very demanding toddler, plus working on my business and constantly thinking of how to move forward with no proper mental rest, has caused me to collapse completely about a month ago. Exhausted, dizzy, blurred vision, I couldn't drag myself out of bed. And if was able to that, I barely could eat breakfast and had to return to bed immediately after that. I had to call in sick to my full-time job for 2 weeks.

    Obviously I'm haven't worked on my business either. Only this week I'm starting to regain energy and eye sight. But I have to take it very slowly or I feel the stress symptoms returning. I'm still not working on my business. I have paying customers but I'm completely stuck and have no idea on how to grow and move forward. Because I'm so stuck and all this thinking contributed to my collapse, I might call this a failure soon too.

    In hindsight I should have seen it coming because some light symptoms started to pop up earlier already. It has been a good wake up call and I'm glad it happened. I can set my priorities straight and focus on what really matters. In both life and business. I'm not giving up, but I'm certainly reconsidering the route forward.

    So, yes it's possible to start a business with kids. Just be very careful about how far you push yourself without proper rest
     
  9. RahKnee
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    RahKnee Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I found the birth of my first to be extremely motivating, in a way that I had not felt before. It used to be about living comfortably on my own schedule, now it's about building a legacy for my kids, so that they can do the same.
     
  10. Matt Dassel
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    I think there might be many men being first time parent and thinking their job makes them independent. Being on the slow lane.

    I hope so much to have a family and I am working hard to not have a single piece of psychological resentment when they come.

    Let's just kick this thought out of the way. Being on the fast lane and working for complete independece sadly is a potential that other people may think is not in their reach. And for you that is your leverage and opportunity.
     
  11. Counter
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    Congratulation Yikes86 on becoming a father. It is the best feeling anybody can have when he becomes a parent for the first time. No, you will not lose fastlane. However, the first six months will be very difficult. The baby requires that of you. So, be ready.
     
  12. Tommo
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    Tommo Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    So there you have it, a big unanimous yes to the challenge of Fatherhood and the best reason to never give up the journey.
     
  13. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I think I responded to thread a long time ago. But here it is in the feed again.

    Being a dad not only opened my mind up to new products and new opportunities, but it also gave me the possibilities of executing on those opportunities by being the authentic, relatable, owner of a business who's target market is young families.

    Of course there are challenges. You gotta spend time with the kids. So you build systems, hire, and automate, so that you are free to do that.

    Plus... what can me more satisfying than teaching the next generation the possibilities that life has to offer? My 3 year old already understands the difference between a business and a job. She's watching me build something from the ground up.
     
    Thoelt53 likes this.

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