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INTRO I'm gonna be a dad.. Did I just lose the Fastlane?

Discussion in 'Forum Introductions (Who are you!?)' started by Yikes86, Jun 30, 2017.

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  1. Yikes86
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    Yikes86 New Contributor

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    Good day to ya'll!

    I've been reading along on this forum for quite some time now, picking up bits and pieces of advice and philosophies here and there.

    While I've been trying to cook up my first business that matches the CENTS the last few weeks, I got this totally life changing news.

    My girlfriend's pregnant with our first child.

    That's right.

    But since this is an introduction thread, I better introduce myself properly.

    I'm a 31 year old guy from Austria with a passion for making money online, yet I've still to crack that darned code of 'Need' and 'Entry'.

    And whilst I'm trying my best as a real wantrepreneur to figure out what niche to get into, my girlfriend through 7 years, whom I love to the stars and beyond btw, tells me that she's pregnant.

    Isolated speaking this is really great news to me. I've wanted to become a dad for quite a few years now, but the big question follows: Will it then be it for me when it comes to making it to the fastlane?

    I'm already dragging around quite some debth, and I'm in a job that doesn't pay very well. I've not given up hope yet though, which is also the reason I'm taking my time to introduce myself to you fine gentlemen and -women in here.

    Have any of you been in a situation like mine? Not much cash, poor paying job, some vague dreams and a baby on the way?

    And did you make it anyhow?

    Best regards and peace out!
    Yikes
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
  2. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I started a business the week my daughter was born. I worked on the business when I was up with her at 2 or 3 in the morning, and spent that time talking to Chinese manufacturers.

    My son was born 2 months ago, and my 2nd business is launching in a week. Most of the work to get it off the ground has been done between 4 and 6 AM, and 8 to 11 PM.

    The motivation produced by having a kid was unlike any other.
     
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  3. bitsinmyblood
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    +1
     
  4. ChickenHawk
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    ChickenHawk Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Congrats! If I had to start over again, I'd have more kids, and start having them sooner. There's almost never the perfect time, which means that smart people put it off. You want kids. You've got a woman you love. She's pregnant. It's a sign!

    There's a saying, "If you want something done, ask a busy person, because they know how to get stuff done." Yup, you'll be busy, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be a huge motivator. Plus, the world needs more smart people having kids, darn it all! :)
     
  5. Andy Black
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    Andy Black Any colour, as long as it's red. Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Congratulations to you both.

    There's a few excellent parenting & fastlane threads in the forum that are well worth checking out.


    Now then... you say you have a passion for "making money online", but still haven't cracked NEED and are trying to cook up your first business that matches CENTS.

    Can you see why?
     
  6. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Congratulations

    Don't ever again allow yourself the luxury of using your kid as an excuse for your own lack of motivation, lack of success, or any other negativity in your own life

    Having a kid is more of a reason… Not less of a reason… To find success and leave a legacy

    If you weren't doing a damn thing before the kid got here, it sure isn't the kids fault you aren't successful.

    You owe it to yourself, your girlfriend, and now especially your child to make an impact and change your life

    Do you want your kid to emulate you? Low income, dragging around debt? They replicate what they see. What do you want your kid to see?
     
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  7. GatsbyMag
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    GatsbyMag Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Well, you've got the family part of the equation for wealth. I don't see the negative there.

    And you're 31 and ambitious. Not only that but you were also fortunate enough to find The Millionaire Fastlane. So you've got the fuel, the roadmap and a community of people, some who have achieved what you are pursuing and others who are on the same journey.

    You've got this, it'll be hard but that's how life is supposed to be, right?
     
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  8. PureA
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    PureA Winners never quit Speedway Pass

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    Your WHY just got a whole lot stronger.

    All the best man.
     
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  9. Andy Black
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    ^^^ All of this.

    Growing your business (especially at the start) can be a huge self-development journey. Our parents, schools, and society have forced many scripts on us that hold us back. We have to overcome them if we're to live the life we want.



    One of the most powerful things someone made me realise a while ago was:

    "If you can't figure it out, then you leave it up to your kids to."

    I owe it to them to figure it out.
     
  10. Philip Marlowe
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    Philip Marlowe Every Day On, No Days Off Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    ^^ All of this.
     
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  11. KopyKidd
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    KopyKidd Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Congratulations and welcome to the forum!
    Lots of people make the mistake of letting their children be their reason (excuse) for their lack of success and drive... Don't be that parent. Don't EVER let yourself be that parent. It's a cop-out, and it's damaging to your relationship with your child.

    Even if you never say it aloud, they'll feel it from you, and it'll turn into full-blown resentment over time, if you let it.

    Don't let your child grow up thinking/feeling "Mom and dad would've been better off without me."
    Kids already have a heartbreaking way of blaming themselves for their parents problems anyway, and that's a burden no child should bear.

    Me and my husband-to-be have an 8 month old. We both work full time, freelance on the side, and we're building two businesses as well. Is it hard? Abso-freakin-lutely. But we suck it up and get sh*t done. We even moved in with his parents to cut living expenses, so the "Babies are expensive" excuse is out of the window. We work when she's sleeping and drink a lot of caffeine, and we've learned how to be flexible and adaptable.

    Lots of people build wealth while raising a family. You take the same steps as a childless person, just in different ways.

    Every parent wants to give their kids the world... Don't. That's not your job. Show them how to go take it for themselves.
     
  12. Jon L
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    Over the last 10 years, I've failed at two jobs and spent 3 years failing at business. I have two girls, 7 and a 9. In the last number of months, things have finally turned around. This year is shaping up to be the best year of my life, financially, professionally and personally (funny how those three go together). What I've found is that as I improve one area of my life, other areas of my life improve. That then circles back and improves still other areas. As a dad, I can't think of a better way of training my kids than demonstrating this kind of growth for them. If I can do it, so can they.

    So...I'd say, go for it. figure out how you can start a successful business while raising a family. There are alllll sorts of businesses out there. You don't need to be the next Elon Musk. Figure out what works for you, and go for it.

    Welcome to the Parent Club. :) You'll never look at things the same way again. Its an amazing journey that requires all of you. ...just like being a business owner requires all of you, as does being in a relationship.
     
  13. GlobalWealth
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    GlobalWealth Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I started my first real business when I was 21, new father and in debt.
     
  14. maverick
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    maverick Unorthodox Nonconformist Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Instead of losing the fastlane, you found your motivation.
     
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    Absolutely this!

    Please commit to being the dad of this kid. Be involved, participate, raise the kid.

    Your kid will teach you things and open your eyes to experiences you would have missed.

    Be grateful everyday for the opportunity to touch the future.

    There will be tough times, the kid will be sick, you will be busy. It's called life.

    Embrace the life lessons and grow from them.

    I wish you, your girlfriend, and your child the best of luck!
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2017
  16. Jadyndad
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    Hey man!

    I already have a baby and he's 7 months old now. I am in debt with my house and car being financed. My wife is working and I am starting out a new business while taking care of the baby. I am at the stage of searching for manufacturers and have contacted over 20 of them on alibaba over the past 2 weeks. Out of the 20, only 2 or 3 remains and looks promising that we can work on something together.

    Having a baby is definitely a big motivation to the fastlane. Its true that there are bound to be a lot more expenses when the baby is here, and it is also true that you will have to spend a lot of time with the baby too. But you will soon come to realise that you would not want to spend much time away from you baby and your love, and you would sacrifice your own expenses for the family. Manage your budget, spend only the essentials, you will definitely work it out.

    It just makes it so much more desperate for me to make it. So that I will be able to be there for my family truly, not just weekday nights and weekends. And the only way to do it is through the Fastlane.

    Last but not least, CONGRATZ!
     
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    You get to choose if you lost, or gained, the Fastlane.

    Your brain is either your ally, or your enemy.

    From my bystander's standpoint, having a child is often the best WHY to drive MEANING and PURPOSE. It be a shame if they became an excuse.
     
  18. G-Man
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    If looking at a beautiful little baby every morning before you go to work doesn't motivate you to free up your time and life from a job, I don't know what will.

    Also, don't be the guy that uses his family as an excuse. Your great grandfather wouldn't have.
     
  19. SquatchMan
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    My dad started his business while I was a toddler and my sibling was an infant.

    I once asked him if he thought it was risky doing that and here is his paraphrased advice:

    I started when you two were very young and your mother wasn't working. I couldn't get many clients on my own so I had to start calling everyone I knew and offering my services.

    Sometimes I would want to shut down the business because I always got rejected, was sleep deprived, and had one client...

    then I'd look at you two in the crib and keep dialing
    .

    Some people look at the crib and see it as a reason to quit.

    He saw it as a reason to push even harder.

    For context: He famously set up his office (a huge 25 pound "laptop" and huge cellphone) and worked in the hospital room when my mom was in labor with me. He even called clients from the hospital phone while my mom was in labor. This is while he still worked for someone else.
     
  20. bitsinmyblood
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    bitsinmyblood Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I agree with everyone who says being a parent is the greatest motivation.
     
  21. Joe Cassandra
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    I quit my job with $70,000 in debt + a 6-figure mortgage BECAUSE I HAD A KID!

    To boot...

    My wife's original plan was to go back to work after the kid. After laying eyes on our little beaut, she looked up at me and begged to stay home with her.

    I had more debt than income, but we said yes. I plundered cash until we had about $15,000 in savings.

    Then I quit.

    WHY?

    Because I want my kid (and wife) to see I followed my greatest desire. And I do it for them.
     
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  22. Michael Raphael
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    Congrats. Having a baby is only an excuse towards financial freedom. (that sounded terrible ;P)

    But honestly, there is nothing in life that is a true wall/obstacle. You may have somethings to worry aobut but start today and you have 9 months before the baby comes. On top of that, you can work from home for the first 2-3 years and spend quality time with your child while running an internet or home-based business.

    This isn't a limiting factor, just motivation to succeed. Get away from "wantrepreneur" and start becoming an actual entrepreneur.
     
  23. Dunkafelics
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    Dunkafelics Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I agree with this and a lot of the comments that have been said so far. I have been a motivated individual for most of my life and then a personal "failure" happened and I pretty much just went into maintenance mode for a few years. My wife and I have recently had a child. That in combination with reading "Unscripted" have been huge factors in me turning things around and making something more of myself than the conventional norm.

    It is a life-changing event my friend, but it is also manageable. I work a full-time job and have started the beginning stages of building a business while completing two educational courses online.

    The motivation and determination to achieve a high level of success will become the standard now, as most of said on this forum that you want to be able to provide the best quality of life for your child. I believe this includes the ability to teach them how to create freedom early on and be able to generate income outside of the 9-5.

    Also don't forget you have all this time before the baby is born to get things rolling! Take advantage of it!
     
  24. paulmp
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    First of all... Congratulations, being a parent is an incredible adventure all on its own!

    This is a loss of the fast lane only if you decide it is. You can either succumb to the script, get a job and die a little bit each day. Or you can embrace it and use it as your ultimate motivation.

    I have been running / building / selling businesses since 1999, I became a parent at age 31 in 2012. I now have 3 kids (all girls!) ages 4, 3 and 4 months. They are amazing, but I look at them and I know it is imperative that I prepare them for a world that doesn't even exist right now. The jobs and business opportunities that are going to be available to them are in industries that we can't even imagine right now. Part of my motivation in hitting the fast lane properly, finding that true financial freedom, is that I can then set them up for life as well, not a hand out, but I can help them find their own fast lane, invest if necessary and give them options that most of their friends probably won't have.

    The other part of my motivation is that we want to travel with them and we already do, they have probably seen more of Australia than most adults in Australia.

    Anything in life can be a positive or a negative, it all depends on your mindset. We aren't responsible for many of the things that happen to us in life (although this one is firmly in the "you totally did that" category) we are totally responsible for how we react and what we do in response. We always have a choice.
     
  25. Nikkiahmet
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    Congrats to you both! :)
    You both will surely become more busy and independent! Kids are great and so much fun you will enjoy being parents.

    I have been in a stressful rut for 9 years now since leaving the UK!
    All started when i was a single parent and moved to Cyprus to be next to my parents with my son as the father has never wanted to know since the day he was born.

    In UK i was alone and was working 2 jobs, also doing apprentice work in college to full fill what i had always wanted to do.
    I dropped out with my last 6 months and to a huge gamble to pack everything up to come here as i didnt really have anything else going for me in the UK plus i wanted my son near to his grandparents as it was there first grandchild too.

    Not knowing the first weekend when i had arrived on new years eve! with no savings in my pocket my mum told me that she is no longer in love with my dad after 31 years of marriage and i thought CRAP! what will i do now, what happens next?!

    My dad said he wanted me to stay here and try build a life for me and my son and mum will not be returning back to UK anyway.
    Obviously after they had buy a brand new villa and they both retired early!
    Plus i didnt have the money to start all over again in UK after giving up everything!

    So dad moved back after 2 weeks with 1 suitcase waiting for the sale of the house, which only took 5 months quick sale and mum moved to Turkey with a new man she had met. I was not invited with my son.
    So i found work and started renting an apartment with my son and sorted out my work permits etc.
    Things got worse because i became so tired doing 11 hours per day working and too tired for my son and he was missing out with schooling! So i pleaded with my mum if she could take care of my son for a while so i can get myself on my feet abit better.
    This was heartbreaking for me because we had never been seperated before, and this was NOT was i came out here for!

    2 years my son was in Turkey while i was working hard, trying to survive and build a life for both of us. I visited when i was allowed time off which was very rare.
    While i was alone, after 1 year i met somebody and we was together for 16 months untill i found out he was in a marriage himself and this of course broke my heart more.
    I felt like giving up, and family was broken. Mum emailed me once in a blue moon and dad was silent and getting on with his life. Brother and sister blamed me for not trying to keep them together. But me being the eldest i stepped back as it was not my business and id have to learn to accept whether i like it or not.

    Finally my son come back because i was pushed out from my mum, not asking if im ok or if im alive etc!
    I never felt so sad, depresses and lonely.

    3 years later i met somebody else but i was abit skeptical at first from the last guy i had met 3 years before, i was affraid to waste my time and have my heart broken again ontop of all this mess.
    But i took the risk as all are not the same.
    Yes he is local cypriot here and after 2 weeks he introduced me to his family which happened to be on a bayram, So the house was full of relatives! i was so nervous lol... cringe!
    They made me welcome of course, untill a week later they decided to research me and got hold of my passport OUT OF MY BAG! and one of their sons is police did a check to research me! This broke my heart and made me so angry!
    They did this because i was a single parent and they new my dead end job here was managing a bar and i was working later hours and obviously paying for 2 different babysitters and the rents etc. So really no money left in my pocket after all bills paid and food on the table.

    His family changed there mentality towards me and then so did ALL the relatives. We thought stuff this enough is enough and we decided to get married lol
    Did that turn out well?! Not really.
    We tried to continue our life and get on with it just keeping silent and working our jobs.
    We also had many fall outs with double stress and gossip in the family. It was like they was trying to get between us.
    I became pregnant, we had a daughter together and of course shes all noticed and not me or my son.
    But i did stop the gifts coming home from hubbys visits to his family or from his relations left at his parents for her as there was nothing for my son and it was upsetting for him to see that his sister has gifts and he was pushed out! end of day i have 2 kids not just 1 and i dont want any jelously and tension between them later from this.

    My hubby is a good man, but hes quiet nature and will not speak his mind to any of his family or relations and i dont understand this one. He just tells me he has finished with them all. But i know truefully that their culture and mentality is different. But we are torn and have our fair fall outs too.
    Obviously many more things have happened and id bee writing a book with my life here. I Have not spoke to my mum for 4 years now as she stopped speaking and dad now 3 years as he went his seperate way too.
    No i dont have any family/relations of my own either. Its hard because i wanted happiness in my life and didnt come here to find marriage or have a child but the unexpected happens. Love my kids to bits!!! NO MONEY WILL BUY THAT LOVE I HAVE FOR THEM EVER!! But the love is dying out with me and hubby because we have too much hard tension and i am under alot of heartache too.

    Cherish every moment you have with your child, Mine are the best thing that has happened to me!
    Just wish i was abit more complete.
    In time.
     
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