I have to start doing something now!

[Arumlily]

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to start by saying a huge thank you to MJ and everyone on this forum. Not to sound melodramatic but I have spent most of my life believing that I am completely different from everyone else. Like an alien who just 'doesn't get it'. That was until I read the fastlane millionaire and began reading posts on this forum.

A little about me, I'm 32 years old and live in the UK. Until recently I have been studying for an advanced degree within the mental health field. I have worked so hard for this and now I have what would be regarded as a 'good' job. However, the job does not pay nearly enough for the workload/responsibility involved and I also feel like all I ever do is work and then spend my weekends 'catching up' with all the other boring parts of life (cooking, cleaning, appointments etc).

I also have a partner who works hard and has what would be regarded as a 'good' job, however I don't think we are really enjoying life to the fullest as all we seem to do is try to save for a house (we live in an area where house prices are crazy high) with the rest going on bills, groceries etc. This has always bothered me but I guess as a long term student I felt that my time was more my own and it was up to me to structure my day rather than follow an employers schedule.

I actually read the fastlane back in June but as usual I have been procrastinating over doing anything further. I have been thinking a lot recently about the reasons why I don't take things further (especially since part of my job is motivating others and supporting them in overcoming problems). Here are just some of the barriers I think are getting in my way:

1. Confidence - maybe I'm just not all that good, what will others think
2. Over complicating things - this is a biggy I feel like I need to know everything before I embark on something new and that I am always looking for the things that could go wrong and then talking myself out of it.
3. "Someone else has already done it" -having an idea then searching extensively until I find someone who has done something similar and talking myself out of it as I believe that they have already done it to a decent standard.
3. Fear - what happens if things don't work out
4. Avoidance - due to the above reasons I make many many excuses a to why I would need to wait.

Anyway I've decided that I either need to do something about my current situation or else accept how things are and stop moaning about it (it's not like I have a terrible life or anything).

I do have a couple of ideas, my first idea would be in the area of mental health. There is a definite need and the entry level is set fairly high. The problem is that I don't have a definite idea yet and I think the problems I would run into would be around scale and time. I would like to do something in this area as I would then feel that the last 15 years of my life were not a waste of time plus I do genuinely enjoy this field.

My second idea is in an area which I know fairly little about, however again I think there would be a need in this area and also I think there would be good scope to expand on it. The biggest problem I think would be the entry as it isn't particularly skilled. I know that others are doing it but I don't think they are doing it all that well.

Ok so I ended up writing more than I thought! Just wanted to get something down so that I could start to feel more accountable. I'm hoping to start a progress thread at some point. It would be great if someday I was able to give back to this forum as you guys really have been very inspirational.

Lily

 

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[AndrewNC]

3. Fear - what happens if things don't work out
4. Avoidance - due to the above reasons I make many many excuses a to why I would need to wait.

What happens if things don't work out?

You end up right back where you are - but you come back with EXPERIENCE and SKILLS.

What happens if you never start?

You end up staying exactly where you are...minus the skills and experience.

Fear. Confidence.

I never studied psychology in school, but I work in the field of mindset too.

When I put the tools and techniques together which I learned, I know that there's and easy way to eliminate fear and boost confidence.

I'm sure if you're experienced, you can put your tools together to do the same.

When you understand how humans are programmed to behave, and you know how to re-program them - the opportunities for you are infinite.

 

[Coalission]

Here are just some of the barriers I think are getting in my way:

1. Confidence - maybe I'm just not all that good, what will others think
2. Over complicating things - this is a biggy I feel like I need to know everything before I embark on something new and that I am always looking for the things that could go wrong and then talking myself out of it.
3. "Someone else has already done it" -having an idea then searching extensively until I find someone who has done something similar and talking myself out of it as I believe that they have already done it to a decent standard.
3. Fear - what happens if things don't work out
4. Avoidance - due to the above reasons I make many many excuses a to why I would need to wait.

Those aren't barriers, those are excuses. As cliche as it sounds, you just don't want it or need it bad enough yet. That's what it really boils down to for 98.5% of the people who haven't accomplished something they wanted to yet. I have a ton of reasons why I'm not built like The Rock. I'm an ectomorph, my genetics, my dad was skinny, etc. Fact of the matter is, I don't want to look like The Rock bad enough, end of story.

Put it this way, pretend someone takes your partner hostage tomorrow, and you get a ransom note telling you that if you don't accomplish what you want to accomplish in 3 months, that person will be executed.

What happens then? What happens to your "confidence"? And your "fear"? "Avoidance"? Do you just let them die then, since it was too complicated to do what you needed to do, so you rather just let your loved one die?

My guess is all the petty excuses go out the window, and nothing else will F*cking matter but keeping them alive.

That's when you'll accomplish those things, when nothing else F*cking matters.

 

[TKDTyler]

3. Fear - what happens if things don't work out
4. Avoidance - due to the above reasons I make many many excuses a to why I would need to wait.

Fear. Confidence.

I never studied psychology in school, but I work in the field of mindset too.

When I put the tools and techniques together which I learned, I know that there's and easy way to eliminate fear and boost confidence.

To add to Andrew's thoughts a bit:

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real

What does this mean? Lets look at this amazing chart I spend the last 30 seconds making!

There are 3 areas to look at:

1. The current situation and the possible outcomes.
You currently have $xxxx.xx and want to start a business. You can do nothing and keep your money. Start a business and fail. Start a business and be successful. This is your first known variable.

2. Your personal knowledge and the actions that you can take.
What are your strengths? What can you do to reduce risk? Research? Networking? Finding a partner? This is your second known variable.

3. How the world responds to your actions
For every action there is a reaction. You never know how the world will respond. This is your unknown variable.

The human brain is designed for survival. Therefore it will naturally look for ways to protect itself from harm rather than pursuing opportunity that makes us uncomfortable on a subconscious level.

Think about things you are extremely confident in. Why is it that you feel like that? Because your perception of all the possible outcomes in increased and the unknown variables is decreased.

Now think of your venture into business and why you feel fearful. How much do you know about your market? Do you know if the market wants what you are offering? Do you know all of the tax implications of your business? How many unknowns are you looking at?

This creates false evidence and hesitation in action. False evidence (the unknown) triggers our mental "what if" voice.

What if I fail? What if I lose all my money? What if I can't feed my family? What if...

To overcome this, the first step is self awareness. Know your strengths and weaknesses. What you know and more importantly, what you don't know.

When beginning, your focus should be to decrease that orange, unknown section as much as possible through acquiring knowledge through research, schooling, books, and people. Consume as much material as possible such that your understanding of the situation and outcomes becomes clearer and you shift the balance into your favor.

You did everything you could to reduce your risk and your inherent fear. Once you reach that next level of knowledge, the only other way of understanding the reaction is through experience.

Nothing can build your confidence up faster and break you down faster than experience.

You touch a stove and get burned as a child? You probably aren't going to touch it again.

You invest product into a bad supplier? Probably are going to be more thorough in your research phase and supplier selection.

Through experience, your chart will shift even know due to knowing how the world reacts to your decisions.

This concept is why top level athletes blow intermediate athletes out of the water. It's not that they know more techniques. They understand how each action affects their competition because of their experience.

Same reason why very successful entrepreneurs are okay with losing hundreds of thousands of dollars for the long term. They understand how by providing value to a market will create buzz, loyalty, excitement, and build their brand.

Confidence is bread through reducing the unknown through knowledge and experience. Be self aware and do everything in your power to acquire knowledge.

 

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[Niptuck MD]

If things dont work out at least YOU LEARNED SOMETHING useful (i dont care if you think it was a failure) a lesson learned is wisdom in your bank.

Keep at it, keep an open mind and please do your due diligence; read, research, rectify and replenish.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

this is a biggy I feel like I need to know everything before I embark on something new

The truth is, you never will. If you need to know everything before starting, you'll NEVER start and always be in a position of "someday" or always needing just more information.

I'm just not all that good, what will others think

Only the market can tell you what they think. All you can do is your best, and let the market speak its voice. Once it speaks, assess, then adjust.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[YoungPadawan]

I do have a couple of ideas, my first idea would be in the area of mental health. There is a definite need and the entry level is set fairly high. The problem is that I don't have a definite idea yet and I think the problems I would run into would be around scale and time. I would like to do something in this area as I would then feel that the last 15 years of my life were not a waste of time plus I do genuinely enjoy this field.

Dude, the mental healthcare industry has HUGE potential. There is a massive shortage of psychiatrists in America and people in rural areas are basically forced to drive hours away to see someone. If you could set up a telemental health clinic that responded to patients quickly (and actually picked up the phone when patients call), you could do very very well. If you want to chat more about it, shoot me a PM. I'd be happy to help.

As for the your fear issues, you just have to buck up and do it. Yes, people will think you're crazy. Yes, you will fail frequently. And yes, you'll probably look stupid often. But, if you want to be an entrepreneur, you have to overcome that fear and just do it without worrying about what other people think. This is a big step.

 

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[conquer]

Choose to be relentless.

A leader embraces the dark and unknown because he's confident in his abilities, he trusts his instincts to lead himself and others.

Do leaders still face obstacles and failures? Of course. However the successes outshine all the failures.

 

[Arumlily]

Hey guys,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I've decided that I want it badly enough to be willing sit with my fear and go after what I truly want out of life which is my freedom and control back. I know I will need to continue with my slow lane job in the meantime but I can put in the time after work/weekends (I have done so much of this already for other people that I should now use this time for myself!). How do others balance this?

I have decided today that I will go with my first idea. I now just need to firm up what it will look like in practice and continue my research (keeping in mind that I don't want to overdo the research and become overwhelmed with the small details).

Thanks again,
Lily

 

[Jon L]

I remember taking test after test online and elsewhere to see if I was 'cut out to be an entrepreneur.' I was shy, insecure and afraid of my own shadow. What a bunch of crap. All those tests and other ruminating failed to see the simple truth: The PROCESS of building a successful business is what makes someone into an entrepreneur.

How do you know if you have what it takes? You won't know until you've pushed through all the problems and built a profitable business. Until then its all just conjecture. How do you develop what it takes? Start building a business and working through the problems that come up. Keep in mind that you have to do this in a way that is uniquely you.

Here's an example from a sale I just closed. I got on a skype call with a guy from Europe right after I got back from the gym this morning. The Skype call came through and it looked like he had his webcam on, so I turned mine on as well. As it turned out, he didn't have his on. Only his picture came up, and he was in a suit and tie. (oops). We got into the conversation, and I shared with him my personal thoughts on the project. I was completely myself. I even told him that I was a little embarrassed that I'd turned on my webcam. He said not to worry that he typically worked in a tshirt himself. What convinced him that I was his guy was that 1) He liked me - liked my 'enthusiasm' for the project, 'the way I conducted myself.' 2) It was obvious I could do the work by the questions I asked. 3) He liked my price. (I'll be making a fair amount per hour, so I do too.)

Compare that experience to what I used to try to do in sales: pretend to be this 'put together, professional salesman.' Yuck. 1) I don't want to do business with people that expect that and 2) that's not me - not that I can't and don't dress up, but I have much more fun being Silly Jon (that is also quite good at certain things).

Build a company that suits you and your unique personality and you'll do just fine.

 

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