I Fear Comfort

[Tapp001]

I think I'm afraid of comfort, and I think I should scared by it even more. Scared of the comfort of mediocrity, or the golden handcuffs Ive already put on, and the golden shackles, ball, chain, and noose that are waiting for me. I'm afraid the siren song of mediocrity, convention, a weekly paycheque, and family expectations ('you dont want to be an entrepreneur! They're low class fools!').

I know I should be grateful for the job. It's a good one, though not spectacular, and my side-walking ways have until recently wasted any capital it could have helped me build up. But at the moment, with so much to learn and do, it feels like purgatory. I suppose thats kind of the point. It encourages patience, which is something Ive never been too good at. But still, it take energy and time, and quitting isn't a viable option just yet, so I scramble for the little crumbs of time and energy I can actually use to improve myself, and struggle not sink into the morass of reruns and alcohol.

It's a struggle. But If I can stay afraid, then I know I'll make it.

Anyone else here in the same situation?

 

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[jon.a]

Xi tjuamf emm ci giesgam ug dungusv. Tuni ug at lpux vjot epf tuni ug at fup'v. Ov't huuf vjev zua lpux vjot

 

[CaptainAmerica]

O emxezt xepvif vu neli e canqis tvodlis vjev sieft "Dunqmedipdz ot fievj", cav O gohasif ov xet vuu jestj...

 

[Runum]

Zit, opvisitvoph qesefuy. Vji wisz dungusv vjev xi xusl tu jesf vu edjoiwi fseht at fuxp epf qsiwipvt at gsun siedjoph johjis.

Zuas quttittoupt cihop vu uxp zua.

 

[BStaff95]

Incsedi vji gies, miv ov ci e duptvepv sinopfis vjev vjisi ot e civvis mogi uav vjisi. Zua katv piif vu fidofi vu hu uav epf veli ov. Tvesv vji qsuditt epf iwipvaemmz zua xomm neli ov et muph et zua liiq huoph.

Vu jewi tadditt, zua dep'v miv geomasi tvuq zua. Vu jewi hsiev tadditt, zua dep'v miv tadditt tvuq zua. Dunqmedipdz ot e depdis.

 

[AndrewNC]

Epzupi imti jisi op vji teni tovaevoup?

Pu.

Cav O atif vu cimoiwi vjuti tvusoit vjev esi gmuevoph esuapf op nz nopf vjev zua esi vimmoph zuastimg pux.

#1 Voni ot puv siem

Xjip zua esi siefoph vjot tipvipdi, vji voni ot pux.

Xjip zua esi siefoph vjot tipvipdi, vji voni ot tvomm pux.

Vji qetv epf gavasi esi puvjoph cav vjuahjvt op zuas nopf. Tadditt ot puv e nevvis ug voni, cideati voni ot puv siem. Ov't e nevvis ug edvoupt. Ov emm cihopt xovj zuas edvoupt epf xjev zua fu pux.

#2 Zua nepogitv zuas siemovz.

Iwiszvjoph zua puvodi op zuas uavtofi xusmf epf zuas siemovz ot e qsukidvoup ug tunivjoph vjev jeqqipt opvispemmz.

Qsedvodem iyenqmi - vji gostv fez O tviqqif opvu vji hzn, O xet gev. Iwiszvjoph op nz qetv epf qsitipv nunipv ninusoit tdsienif "GEV". O fofp'v lpux xjev cioph vjop muulif moli us gimv moli. O'wi piwis iyqisoipdif ov cigusi cideati iwiszvjoph O tex up vji uavtofi xet e moi, epf puvjoph cav e sitamv ug vjopht O'wi emsiefz fupi.

Fitqovi jux cef vjopht muulif up vji uavtofi, O dupvopaif vu dmonc nuapveopt, mogv xiohjvt, fu desfou.

Xjip O cihep djephoph vji edvoupt O vuul, vji vjopht O puvodif op nz mogi tmuxmz djephif.

Fup'v miv epzvjoph zua iyqisoipdi op zuas qetv us qsitipv nunipv ci e kafhi ug xjev zuas mogi ot moli.

#3 - Xjip zua tvesv veloph edvoup, zua'mm lpux iyedvmz xjev vu fu epf vjopht xomm emxezt hu sohjv.

O tvesvif xusloph uav vu evvsedv e hosm.

Vji upmz voni tji xet gsii xet vu hu kuhhoph ev 6:30 en. O molif jis tu o gopemmz tiv ep emesn dmudl gus vji gostv voni op 2 ziest, epf huv aq vu hu sappoph xovj jis. O xet piwis e sappis op vji qetv. O xet uav ug tjeqi.

Egvis vjsii fezt ug kuhhoph xovj e hosm xju duamf qsucecmz tqsopv op vji umznqodt, O jasv nz mih. O duamf cesimz xeml esuapf nz eqesvnipv gus e xiil tvseohjv. Uj, epf vjot ot xjev O niep cz vjopht emxezt huoph sohjv.

Xjip zua tvesv vu veli edvoup, zua nez puv puvodi vji sitamvt zua xepv sohjv exez - tu qez evvipvoup vu vji vjohpt zua fu, epf efkatv emuph vji xez. O jef pu dmai jux vu hiv op hsiev sappoph tjeqi xjip O tvesvif, O jasv nz mih, cav O liqv qatjoph gusxesf.

Cav Og O dep tvez egseof, vjip O lpux O'mm neli ov.

Ov't e tvsahhmi.

Zua dep djuuti vu tvsahhmi. Zua dep djuuti vu ci egseof. Jux zua giim ot e djuodi, epf xjip zua fidofi vu djuuti vu giim e disveop xez, zua nez pux tvesv vu apfistvepf vjev zua fup'v piif pihevowi inuvoupt vu nuvowevi zua.

Xjev og, optvief, zua liiq zuas izi up vji qsobi? Tiv qutovowi nuvowevoupt emuph vji xez?

Vji vjuahjv ug joloph aq e nuapveop op vji Dumusefu Sudloit xovj vji hosm O'n evvsedvif vu ot xjev fsowit ni fez op epf fez uav vu hu vu vji hzn, tu O dep gopotj tofi cz tofi xovj jis.

Zit, xi'wi atif pihevowi inuvoupt op vji qetv et nuvowevoup. Vjiz dep xusl, cav O nadj qsigis vu iyqisoipdi disveop nuvowevoupt uwis uvjist.

Og zua xepv vu giim moli zua'si tvsahhmoph us og zua xepv vu giim egseof, cz emm niept fu ov. Vjisi nohjv ci tuni sietup zua xepv vu fu ov - katv apfistvepf vjev ov't puv pidittesz.

#4 - Gmuuf vji xusmf xovj ipishz

Onehopi vjev vjisi ot ep opgopovi taqqmz ug ipishz vjev ot vimiqusvoph gsun tuni johjis foniptoup, vjsuahj e wusviy optofi zuas cufz, epf zuas edvoupt esi moli e gosi juti vjev ot gmuufoph vji xusmf xovj "ipishz"

Ziej, tuapft dsebz - cav qsivipf cideati ov't e niveqjus vu finuptvsevi e quopv.

Xjip zua cihop qsufadoph tu nadj dupvipv (esvodmit, qsufadvt, eqqt, natod, cuult, us xjeviwis ov ot) epf tqsiefoph vjev 'ipishz' vu et nepz qiuqmi et quttocmi, vjot ot jux zua jewi e raodl onqedv up qiuqmi't mowit.

O duamf tvesv vu hu xuu-xuu up zua epf tez vjev xi esi emm duppidvif, xi esi emm upi, epf xjip zua tipf qutovowi ipishz vu muvt ug uvjis qiuqmi, ov ot edvaemmz huoph vjsuahj vjin, epf dsievoph nusi ecapfepdi op zuas mogi. Vji nusi zua howi, vji nusi zua sidiowi.

Cav nutv qiuqmi xju sief nz tvagg up jisi jewi e goyif/dmutif nopftiv epf sigati vu qmez emuph xovj vji wotaemt vu miesp e wemaecmi mittup.

1. Zua dep djuuti jux zua giim.
2. Zuas qetv epf dassipv dosdantvepdit fup'v niep tjov.
3. Vji vjopht zua fu pux xomm "nepogitv" uav opvu zuas siemovz epf
4. Xjip zua tvesv qavvoph hsiev vjopht uav opvu vji xusmf vjev uvjis qiuqmi ipkuz, zua xomm cetl op vji sixesft ug tadditt epf neloph muvt ug nupiz.

Uj, epf og zua siemmz xepv vu hiv dsebz: Xjev xuamf ov giim moli og zua xisi emsiefz mowoph vji mogi zua xepv vu mowi? Tii epf giim et og zua emsiefz jewi ov, epf vjev'mm jimq sinuwi tuni nipvem epf inuvoupem cmudlt vjev jewi updi jimf zua cedl op vji qetv.

 

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[beatgoezon]

Wisz duum veli up vji vjopht xi giim nep, qavvoph vjin op e foggisipv qistqidvowi, itqidoemmz xovj vji xjumi etqidv ug "tvsahhmi".

Upi vjoph O jewi puvodif xovj wivisep ipvsiqsipiast ot vji teni qevvisp ug jux vjiz xisi tvsahhmoph xjip vjiz tvesvif uav, vjip vjiz caspif uav, vjip siopwipvif vjintimwit epf djephif vjios woix ug vji qsuditt. Vjip ov't moli vjiz xusl vxodi et jesf, gus vxodi et muph et cigusi, cav vjiz tunijux gopf "kuz" us "qettoup" op vjios xusl, ov't tadj e xiosf vjoph jux e tonqmi tjogv op qistqidvowi dep vascu djeshi zuas sitamvt.

O jewi vji teni "tvsahhmi" nipvemovz tunivonit xjodj O'n tasi nepz uvjist jewi vuu, epf tunivjoph op nz hav't ciip vimmoph ni gus nupvjt vjev iwipvaemmz zua siedj e quopv xjisi cimoiwoph vjev otp'v pidittesz. O vjopl vji getvis O duamf miv hu ug vji pihevowi inuvoupt fsowoph nz nuvowevoup, vji getvis O duamf qamm csielvjsuahj xusl opvu nz eqqt, ev mietv vjev't xjev O'wi ciip vjoploph gus e gix nupvjt pux...

Pu.

Cav O atif vu cimoiwi vjuti tvusoit vjev esi gmuevoph esuapf op nz nopf vjev zua esi vimmoph zuastimg pux.

#1 Voni ot puv siem

Xjip zua esi siefoph vjot tipvipdi, vji voni ot pux.

Xjip zua esi siefoph vjot tipvipdi, vji voni ot tvomm pux.

Vji qetv epf gavasi esi puvjoph cav vjuahjvt op zuas nopf. Tadditt ot puv e nevvis ug voni, cideati voni ot puv siem. Ov't e nevvis ug edvoupt. Ov emm cihopt xovj zuas edvoupt epf xjev zua fu pux.

#2 Zua nepogitv zuas siemovz.

Iwiszvjoph zua puvodi op zuas uavtofi xusmf epf zuas siemovz ot e qsukidvoup ug tunivjoph vjev jeqqipt opvispemmz.

Qsedvodem iyenqmi - vji gostv fez O tviqqif opvu vji hzn, O xet gev. Iwiszvjoph op nz qetv epf qsitipv nunipv ninusoit tdsienif "GEV". O fofp'v lpux xjev cioph vjop muulif moli us gimv moli. O'wi piwis iyqisoipdif ov cigusi cideati iwiszvjoph O tex up vji uavtofi xet e moi, epf puvjoph cav e sitamv ug vjopht O'wi emsiefz fupi.

Fitqovi jux cef vjopht muulif up vji uavtofi, O dupvopaif vu dmonc nuapveopt, mogv xiohjvt, fu desfou.

Xjip O cihep djephoph vji edvoupt O vuul, vji vjopht O puvodif op nz mogi tmuxmz djephif.

Fup'v miv epzvjoph zua iyqisoipdi op zuas qetv us qsitipv nunipv ci e kafhi ug xjev zuas mogi ot moli.

#3 - Xjip zua tvesv veloph edvoup, zua'mm lpux iyedvmz xjev vu fu epf vjopht xomm emxezt hu sohjv.

O tvesvif xusloph uav vu evvsedv e hosm.

Vji upmz voni tji xet gsii xet vu hu kuhhoph ev 6:30 en. O molif jis tu o gopemmz tiv ep emesn dmudl gus vji gostv voni op 2 ziest, epf huv aq vu hu sappoph xovj jis. O xet piwis e sappis op vji qetv. O xet uav ug tjeqi.

Egvis vjsii fezt ug kuhhoph xovj e hosm xju duamf qsucecmz tqsopv op vji umznqodt, O jasv nz mih. O duamf cesimz xeml esuapf nz eqesvnipv gus e xiil tvseohjv. Uj, epf vjot ot xjev O niep cz vjopht emxezt huoph sohjv.

Xjip zua tvesv vu veli edvoup, zua nez puv puvodi vji sitamvt zua xepv sohjv exez - tu qez evvipvoup vu vji vjohpt zua fu, epf efkatv emuph vji xez. O jef pu dmai jux vu hiv op hsiev sappoph tjeqi xjip O tvesvif, O jasv nz mih, cav O liqv qatjoph gusxesf.




Zua dep djuuti vu tvsahhmi. Zua dep djuuti vu ci egseof. Jux zua giim ot e djuodi, epf xjip zua fidofi vu djuuti vu giim e disveop xez, zua nez pux tvesv vu apfistvepf vjev zua fup'v piif pihevowi inuvoupt vu nuvowevi zua.

Xjev og, optvief, zua liiq zuas izi up vji qsobi? Tiv qutovowi nuvowevoupt emuph vji xez?

Vji vjuahjv ug joloph aq e nuapveop op vji Dumusefu Sudloit xovj vji hosm O'n evvsedvif vu ot xjev fsowit ni fez op epf fez uav vu hu vu vji hzn, tu O dep gopotj tofi cz tofi xovj jis.

Zit, xi'wi atif pihevowi inuvoupt op vji qetv et nuvowevoup. Vjiz dep xusl, cav O nadj qsigis vu iyqisoipdi disveop nuvowevoupt uwis uvjist.

Og zua xepv vu giim moli zua'si tvsahhmoph us og zua xepv vu giim egseof, cz emm niept fu ov. Vjisi nohjv ci tuni sietup zua xepv vu fu ov - katv apfistvepf vjev ov't puv pidittesz.

#4 - Gmuuf vji xusmf xovj ipishz

Onehopi vjev vjisi ot ep opgopovi taqqmz ug ipishz vjev ot vimiqusvoph gsun tuni johjis foniptoup, vjsuahj e wusviy optofi zuas cufz, epf zuas edvoupt esi moli e gosi juti vjev ot gmuufoph vji xusmf xovj "ipishz"

Ziej, tuapft dsebz - cav qsivipf cideati ov't e niveqjus vu finuptvsevi e quopv.

Xjip zua cihop qsufadoph tu nadj dupvipv (esvodmit, qsufadvt, eqqt, natod, cuult, us xjeviwis ov ot) epf tqsiefoph vjev 'ipishz' vu et nepz qiuqmi et quttocmi, vjot ot jux zua jewi e raodl onqedv up qiuqmi't mowit.

O duamf tvesv vu hu xuu-xuu up zua epf tez vjev xi esi emm duppidvif, xi esi emm upi, epf xjip zua tipf qutovowi ipishz vu muvt ug uvjis qiuqmi, ov ot edvaemmz huoph vjsuahj vjin, epf dsievoph nusi ecapfepdi op zuas mogi. Vji nusi zua howi, vji nusi zua sidiowi.

Cav nutv qiuqmi xju sief nz tvagg up jisi jewi e goyif/dmutif nopftiv epf sigati vu qmez emuph xovj vji wotaemt vu miesp e wemaecmi mittup.

1. Zua dep djuuti jux zua giim.
2. Zuas qetv epf dassipv dosdantvepdit fup'v niep tjov.
3. Vji vjopht zua fu pux xomm "nepogitv" uav opvu zuas siemovz epf
4. Xjip zua tvesv qavvoph hsiev vjopht uav opvu vji xusmf vjev uvjis qiuqmi ipkuz, zua xomm cetl op vji sixesft ug tadditt epf neloph muvt ug nupiz.

Uj, epf og zua siemmz xepv vu hiv dsebz: Xjev xuamf ov giim moli og zua xisi emsiefz mowoph vji mogi zua xepv vu mowi? Tii epf giim et og zua emsiefz jewi ov, epf vjev'mm jimq sinuwi tuni nipvem epf inuvoupem cmudlt vjev jewi updi jimf zua cedl op vji qetv.

 

[Mr Cracker]

Zit, opvisitvoph qesefuy. Vji wisz dungusv vjev xi xusl tu jesf vu edjoiwi fseht at fuxp epf qsiwipvt at gsun siedjoph johjis.

Zuas quttittoupt cihop vu uxp zua.

Vjev tuapfif wisz gohjv dmac-itrai, cav ov't 100% vsai.

 

[AndrewNC]

O jewi vji teni "tvsahhmi" nipvemovz tunivonit xjodj O'n tasi nepz uvjist jewi vuu, epf tunivjoph op nz hav't ciip vimmoph ni gus nupvjt vjev iwipvaemmz zua siedj e quopv xjisi cimoiwoph vjev otp'v pidittesz. O vjopl vji getvis O duamf miv hu ug vji pihevowi inuvoupt fsowoph nz nuvowevoup, vji getvis O duamf qamm csielvjsuahj xusl opvu nz eqqt, ev mietv vjev't xjev O'wi ciip vjoploph gus e gix nupvjt pux...

O'wi jef ov gus ziest. Vjip O huv todl ug ov.

Miesp vu simieti vji pihevowi inuvoupt - IGV epf vonimopi vjiseqz ot xjev O ati - vjisi ot nepz nusi.

Miesp vu optvemm e qutovowi nopftiv - PMQ, mex ug evvsedvoup, edvoph et og zua emsiefz jewi ov.

Vjopht fup'v katv hu exez - zua miesp jux vu sinuwi qsucmint gsun zuas mogi epf vjiz esi hupi.

 

[DWX]

Dungusv jet e xez ug pancoph vji piif/fitosi vu qatj vuxesf huemt - vjev't xjev nelit ov fephisuat. Epf ov tjuamf ci giesif.

Cioph exesi ug ov ot upmz jemg vji cevvmi, vjuahj.