How to get out of parents house?

[alan3wilson]

Unfortunately I'm living a stressful situation.

My parents cannot support me and also they are quite stressed from their jobs that they don't like (also my mother suffer from deep depression/anxiety and she gets mad every day lol).

I'm doing already odd jobs to keep me paying college but I think I should go out of home.

It's impossible even to concentrate for 1 hour of study at home because every second they have anxiety problems or they get mad (or I study in the nights while my parents sleep).

What would you do in my situation? Get out, rent a room and continue hustling?

Have you ever been in this similiar situation?

I want to start being responsible for my life and I think it's the right time to do that.

 

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[TonyStark]

You're 33?

 

[alan3wilson]

You're 33?

No man, I'm 20

 

[KrzyszWawrzyniak]

Hey.
I would try to help them, like doing some houseworks and supporting them - starting with easy conversations, reminding I love them and asking if I can make their days better somehow. That would make them feel they still have someone's support and would be much happier to come back home.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

What would you do in my situation? Get out, rent a room and continue hustling?

I would, yeah.

But that's your decision.

You can do whatever you want. What's stopping you?

Have you ever been in this similiar situation?

Yep.

Moved out at 17.

I want to start being responsible for my life and I think it's the right time to do that.

Life gets a whole lot easier when you decide what it is YOU want, and pursue it.

I wasted a lot of time pursuing what I thought I wanted, not realizing it was actually what others wanted for me and I was lying to myself.

Don't be ashamed or afraid to be honest with yourself.

Make a decision, take responsibility for that decision, and hold yourself accountable to pursuing what you want.

 

[G-Man]

"I really regret going out on my own and learning to take care of myself" - No old man, ever.

 

[PatrickWho]

Be aware that you may just be switching one set of challenges for another.

- can you easily afford the cost of living on your own - food, rent, transportation?
- would you have to work more to pay for these things? You may then find yourself just as tired and distracted, and unable to study.

As a parent of 3 boys myself, I can grasp a little of the stress your folks are under.

Helping to keep a clean house certainly goes a long way. If you find you have some extra funds from your jobs, you could take it upon yourself to do some grocery shopping for the family. Perhaps cook some nutritious meals for your parents? Get up early to fix them a good breakfast?

Some may think it's not your job to care for your parents, and they shouldn't need your help.

Some may think your number one priority should be yourself, but the reality is that they've fed and sheltered you for years.

It's a myth of our modern, backwards society that allows young men and women to believe they don't need to contribute financially or otherwise to the household they grow up in.

 

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[Fpm9]

If you can't study at home, maybe you can go to a public library or a coffee shop ?

 

[ZCP]

My boys handle chores, the yard, cook, etc. No pay, no allowance.
If they want money, they have to hustle or work in their businesses.

Even with their help, our home is stressful.

So get off your a$$ and help. Create value. First for them and your family. Then for your hustle and for you. Give to get. Good things happen when you contribute!

Start with a smile and a clean room. Then take on chores so they can rest. Then get a job or a hustle so you don't have to ask for money. When you are ready to financially take care of yourself, get a place with a roommate or two and start your life.

If you are still sitting here reading this, get up and DO something.

 

[SolarKG]

Set aside some time to help around the house. If your parents don't like their jobs perhaps you can remind them that they can find a more suitable one.

There is only so much you can do to help them though. In terms of your life and your time, I agree with @Fpm9 are there any coffee shops or libraries that you can study in?

For moving out, if you can handle the payments you might be able to rent a place with a roommate, but starting with carving out some time for yourself outside of the house is probably a good start.

 

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[scottmsul]

You should probably move out, not to get away from your parents, but to mature and grow as a person. Also living on your own is harder than you might think.

 

[AllenCrawley]

No man, I'm 20

Your profile states 33. Maybe you should change that?

 

[jon.a]

I don't understand why someone would start a thread here, "Hey look at me, I'm 20 (or 33) and still live with my parents and it sucks."

 

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[alan3wilson]

Your profile states 33. Maybe you should change that?

made a mistake, already tried but cannot change

 

[rollerskates]

Has it occurred to you that one of the sources of your parents' stress is YOU? I don't mean that in a bad way, but if you are living there (presumably rent free) and not contributing to the betterment of the the entire household, then I understand their feelings. Think about the ways you can make the house a more pleasant place to be.

Some suggestions:

Don't sleep in, make your bed every day, stay groomed, quit watching (so much) TV, stop playing so many video games, clean up, take out the trash, mow the lawn, do your own laundry. None of these things cost anything, yet I promise they will make all of your lives better. I'm not sure what you mean by your parents can't support you, but if you are living there and eating, they are indeed supporting you. In return for food and shelter, do all of the above. They will appreciate it and be less stressed. You could move out and get your own place, but you will still need to do the above things for yourself to be a productive, pleasant human being.

If you need a quiet place to study, go to the library during the day, don't stay up late at home.

 

[The-J]

Unfortunately I'm living a stressful situation.

My parents cannot support me and also they are quite stressed from their jobs that they don't like (also my mother suffer from deep depression/anxiety and she gets mad every day lol).

I'm doing already odd jobs to keep me paying college but I think I should go out of home.

It's impossible even to concentrate for 1 hour of study at home because every second they have anxiety problems or they get mad (or I study in the nights while my parents sleep).

What would you do in my situation? Get out, rent a room and continue hustling?

Have you ever been in this similiar situation?

I want to start being responsible for my life and I think it's the right time to do that.

I'm sorry you live in stress.

It sounds like they can support you. But it also sounds like you're ready to leave.
You have the answer in yourself.

I moved out at 18. I had help from my parents until I was 19. Then I was on my own for the most part.

Not a single regret.

Was it hard at first? Absolutely. But I worked in school, on my own, and had a job at one point so that I could support myself.

@jon.a They do it because they think that a bunch of Internet strangers who may or may not be lying about their accomplishments would have the answers to their lives. Where's that thread of 'I can't make your decisions for you?' It's relevant here.

 

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[JasonR]

Unfortunately I'm living a stressful situation.

My parents cannot support me and also they are quite stressed from their jobs that they don't like (also my mother suffer from deep depression/anxiety and she gets mad every day lol).

I'm doing already odd jobs to keep me paying college but I think I should go out of home.

It's impossible even to concentrate for 1 hour of study at home because every second they have anxiety problems or they get mad (or I study in the nights while my parents sleep).

I want to start being responsible for my life and I think it's the right time to do that.

If what you said is true it's no doubt you should leave the situation. Go sleep on a friends couch for a week or two and see how you feel.

You feel trapped because mentally you don't think you have options.

Get out, get a better job, whatever you need to do - even if it means sleeping on friends couches for now.

Or hell, get up and move to a place like Bali/Vietnam/Thailand where it costs 1/3 to live and you'll also get a completely new perspective on life. And you'll also be forced to make an income outside the normal means.

Or suffer in your parents house until you go crazy. The choice is yours.

 

[garyjsmith]

My environment was very much the same. Parents went through divorce, hated life, made me and my brothers hate life. I still graduated high school, put myself through college, worked steady jobs and got out/through it.

If I could drop a bit 'o' knowledge to my younger self, it would have been to:
- learn and understand money
- pay my debts/value what I have
- value my time and cut out the waste
- and stay away from toxic people, whether parents, siblings, or other influences

I could have earned freedom sooner if I had overcome fear and taken charge of my life. Happy where I am now and it continues to get better but with my work ethic, I could have had it better years and years ago.

 

[Duane]

I moved out at 17 because my household situation was shit with my family. Left South Carolina and moved down to Florida where I knew nobody, but I knew there was more opportunity to succeed.

At first things got worse, sleeping on an air mattress in someone's computer room for $150/mo (I got really lucky finding this spot as I didn't have to give them a deposit either). Working at a fast food restaurant really helped keeping myself fed. Slowly things got better as work income increased.. Once you can cover your living expenses and have left over cash, you no longer have the financial stress and can start working on what you actually want to do.

Moving out of my parents house and out of that state where there was no opportunity to succeed was the best decision of my life. You will never feel ready, but sometimes you just have to do it and work through problems as they come. If you try to think through every different situation that could happen, you'll never feel prepared enough to make the leap.

 

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[Inuc]

Like they said, leave and you will see they will adjust in your absence. You may think your presence will help, but things tend to fall in plac sometimes itself

 

[TTG SS]

I will say this...Recently moved out for the first time at age 25... and it was hands down the best decision I've ever made.

In the single month I have been living on my own I cannot tell you how much I have grown as a person, in business & mentally. Only regret is I wish I did it sooner! Sure its not cheap, but knowing I have a monthly rent bill lights an additional fire under my a$$ to work harder and growing my business quicker. While living at my parents house there was no additional fire...life was EASY streets.

 

[biophase]

Well you titled the post, how to get out of my parent's house. So the easy answer is to get a job, find someplace that you can afford to live and move out.

 

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[alan3wilson]

If what you said is true it's no doubt you should leave the situation. Go sleep on a friends couch for a week or two and see how you feel.

You feel trapped because mentally you don't think you have options.

Get out, get a better job, whatever you need to do - even if it means sleeping on friends couches for now.

Or hell, get up and move to a place like Bali/Vietnam/Thailand where it costs 1/3 to live and you'll also get a completely new perspective on life. And you'll also be forced to make an income outside the normal means.

Or suffer in your parents house until you go crazy. The choice is yours.

Yeah man I don't want to go crazy LOL

Also I want to finish computer engineering college and for that I need at least 8 hours a day of focus that in this moment I haven't it at home.

 

[AndrewNC]

How to get out of parents house?
What I find works best is to find the door to the house, locate the door knob, and then turn it in the direction that opens the door and pull (or push, depending on the setup) the door open and take that first step out.

That usually does it for me.

From there, I find it helpful to put my suitcase full of clothes and may laptop in the car, say my goodbyes and then drive away.

 

[alan3wilson]

I would, yeah.

But that's your decision.

You can do whatever you want. What's stopping you?



Yep.

Moved out at 17.



Life gets a whole lot easier when you decide what it is YOU want, and pursue it.

I wasted a lot of time pursuing what I thought I wanted, not realizing it was actually what others wanted for me and I was lying to myself.

Don't be ashamed or afraid to be honest with yourself.

Make a decision, take responsibility for that decision, and hold yourself accountable to pursuing what you want.

Yeah I think what it's stopping me it's only fear. I could also go to another country and start from zero again.

 

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[fastlane2]

Unfortunately I'm living a stressful situation.

My parents cannot support me and also they are quite stressed from their jobs that they don't like (also my mother suffer from deep depression/anxiety and she gets mad every day lol).

I'm doing already odd jobs to keep me paying college but I think I should go out of home.

It's impossible even to concentrate for 1 hour of study at home because every second they have anxiety problems or they get mad (or I study in the nights while my parents sleep).

What would you do in my situation? Get out, rent a room and continue hustling?

Have you ever been in this similiar situation?

I want to start being responsible for my life and I think it's the right time to do that.

well your ahead of where i was 3 years ago i was totally oblivious to the pressures my parents were facing so yes you'll be better off becoming a man who can know that no matter what life throws at you you can take care of yourself so go ahead get your own apartment a 15 year old car and maybe something off the $1 menu for your weekly meals and then work work work on scaling your business

 

[JoshA]

You absolutely need to be on your own. Screw the odd jobs and go get a regular job and rent a room or go in on a cheap rental with some friends. Having your parents float you is overburdening them and making you weaker by the day.

Sure, flipping burgers is horrible but it will light a fire under your a$$ and motivate you to really pursue something bigger. I was out of my house at 16 by force and it was scary yet invigorating to be in my own. As much as I blamed my step mother for kicking me out (which was deserved; I was a real piece of work), it was the reason I went from min wage to 50k yr salary by the time I was your age.

We are not meant to live with our parents much last late teens.

 

[ddzc]

well your ahead of where i was 3 years ago i was totally oblivious to the pressures my parents were facing so yes you'll be better off becoming a man who can know that no matter what life throws at you you can take care of yourself so go ahead get your own apartment a 15 year old car and maybe something off the $1 menu for your weekly meals and then work work work on scaling your business

LOL @Tanisha?

OP, do what the others have recommended, crash at a buddies place? You're in university or college, maybe find a dorm from a buddies place where you can rent a room for 200-300 a mth, focus on your studies/business, find a part time job, etc. I moved out really young also, was the best decision I ever made. I wouldn't be able to study or work with the distractions you describe, get out.

 

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[alan3wilson]

Exactly guys I cannot focus, I study at nights where everybody sleep but then I need to get up and I sleep like 4 hours and when I get up there is the hell in the house, you know.

I have some skills like basic coding, electronics and did an intership as an electrician/technician some months ago.
So maybe is better to get a job or intership in a technical field, better than flipping burgers lol

 

[alan3wilson]

oh just met my old grandmother (she is nice and not crazy as my parents) and she told me to keep studying computers and engineering because I'm going to become a genius LOL

I told her that I can become a genius one day or go crazy but she didn't understand my sarcasm.

However yeah I need to get out in someway.