How to change your behavior

[socaldude]

One of the biggest challenges people have is changing their behavior. Being in CONTROL of your behavior will serve as an EXTREMELY valuable tool for you as an entrepreneur(or just life in general). Here i will show you how to do it.

Here it goes:

The human being is like a mathematical equation. Y=mx+b, E=mc^2 , or Assets=liabilities+equity.

The equation for human behavior is this: BEHAVIOR=FEELINGS+THOUGHTS+BELIEFS+BIOLOGICAL INFLUENCES

Here is an example of how this works:

lets say i am a bad communicator, i am shy and unconfident which is really getting in the way of my networking for entrepreneur success(or any other success). my behavior might include me NOT using various facial expressions and hand gestures when speaking, speaking in a low unconfident voice, awkward eye contact etc. now lets see what CAUSES this. my feelings might included feeling uncomfortable, nervous or unworthy. my thoughts might included thoughts of rejection or worthlessness. Now the belief part is the MOST important part. you literally have THOUSANDS of beliefs engraved in your mind, some i can guarantee you are not aware of because they are so sub-conciously engraved. Some beliefs may included: "I don't talk to people i don't know too well because they wont like me anyways" or "strangers should never be bothered because they will be annoyed." or "i always look stupid when i talk". i wont get into the biological influences because i am not a neuroscientist but don't worry its not a very important part to change your behavior.

NOW what does this mean??? Because the human being is like a mathematical equation, we can switch the variables and completely change the end result(behavior)!! just like when you change a numerical variable in a mathematical equation you get a different result!!:smxF: Change your thoughts, beliefs or feelings and change your behavior!!!! which ultimately will change your life!!

now lets try this out. lets say i want be a very good communicator/networker or public speaker/ motivational speaker etc. i would simply change my beliefs, thoughts and feelings(this one is very tricky).

one of the biggest assets you have as a human being is the power to believe whatever you want! true or false doesn't matter.
people used to think the sun went around the world for example. now to be a good communicator i would have to believe things like: "95% of strangers are always open to a random conversation" or " 95% of people will like me once they get to know me. again you have thousands of beliefs and its your job to find them and change them to get your intended result! now change your thoughts, think productive confident thoughts, your mind is like real estate it only has a certain amount of square footage and its up to you to make sure you put the most important and productive things in it. i mean you wouldn't put a big pile of crap right in the middle of your living room would you?

changing your behavior takes a lot of self awareness and introspection and work but it can be done! you just have to think(something 99% of people don't do because we are lazy)! you can do it!! you cant change anything in your life unless you change these variable i showed you. again this works for many things.

i really hope this has helped some of you!:urock2:

 

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[Harli87]

This is cool. I find I get better with my faults...I still have my off days though. Almost like my previous (negative) way of thinking creeps back every now and then. What do you advise to help keep returning "demons" away?

 

[socaldude]

first we need to understand that your "current" self is simply an extended version of your "past" self. you are an extension of your past. and in order to break away from this "unfavorable" past and start fresh you have to create a new "system". by system i mean NEW thoughts, NEW beliefs, etc GO OFF IN A TANGENT. you need to purge yourself of bad thoughts and wrong beliefs etc. if you do this you will discover new perspectives, new feelings , new behaviors and ultimately a NEW life. i hope that helps

 

[cants]

nice thread brother.

 

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[Harli87]

I guess it's a work in progress. I end up feeling disappointed with myself when I let old habits back in but I soon bounce back to the right mentality. In hindsight, if I never received such an education (through Taoism and TMF mainly) I'd still have ALL those bad habits and be none the wiser!

 

[Maestro]

In my opinion the whole self-improvement industry is nothing but an extension of the charlatans from the middle ages. They constantly tell you what to do and how to act, guru one tell you to be and focus on one thing, guru 2 another, and soon you’ll find yourself pleasantly lost in your own maze of thoughts and doubts. The mind is divided and at war with itself.

What does work is simple, but requires WORK, therefore we seek gurus to show us the easier way.
Find out what you TRULY want and go GET IT. Some days it is tough, BUT keep at it, you will very soon be cheerfull again due to PROGRESS.

I loved the MJ’s book, because it is HARD CORE facts that you can apply in the real world, not something that will get you stuck in your head constantly trying to improve your thoughts and beliefs.


-Soren

 

[socaldude]

@Maestro

yes most books just take information thats already out there and pack it into a book. but this is still a good thing because it means YOU don't have to go out there and spend time reading and finding this information. but some of the best books i have ever read were from the 1600s-1970s. for example i just recently read an article that was published in the 1920's that gave out valuable information on inventing, such as better imagination, creativity, solving problems etc, and it was one of the BEST i have ever read. but without a doubt one of the best ways to help yourself is to become more AWARE of yourself and more MENTALLY ACTIVE to change yourself to move towards your desired goal. whatever that may be.

 

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[Skys]

It takes 9 months for 'new' behaviour to become 'patern behaviour'. So don't give up if you have some fall backs. Really changing is not easy. Consider the fact you have 'blind spots', makes the 9 months even longer.

you might be changing a behaviour because your mind tricked you into believing that is the behaviour that needed to be changed, while its another patern you really need to break.

 

[Harli87]

you might be changing a behaviour because your mind tricked you into believing that is the behaviour that needed to be changed, while its another patern you really need to break.

@Skys Hmm, some food for thought there. Interesting approach!

@Maestro Yes, I've often found myself conflicted by multiple approaches...but then one specific mentor worked for me...then MJ's booked echoed a lot of what he said, but in practical terms...so I am certain that I am on my way. I know what should be happening inside my head, just occasionally, something else in my brain that I've had from childhood likes to rebel.

 

[CommonCents]

hypnosis is very effective in reinforcing positive thoughts/beliefs.

 

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[socaldude]

@coomoncents

that is correct, hypnosis is a good way to get you to change your beliefs, but i have found that the best way to change your beliefs is to either just tell yourself something is true or use logic/reason which takes time and thinking.

 

[Reno]

@CommonCents. sounds like you have had some personal success with this. Can you share? Was it self or professionally applied?

 

[socaldude]

before you go to sleep helps as well.

 

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[DeletedUser2]

It takes 9 months for 'new' behaviour to become 'patern behaviour'. So don't give up if you have some fall backs. Really changing is not easy. Consider the fact you have 'blind spots', makes the 9 months even longer.

you might be changing a behaviour because your mind tricked you into believing that is the behaviour that needed to be changed, while its another patern you really need to break.

So where did you get the nine months thing?

Repatterning can take as little as 15 -45 days, with the typical 21 days being cited alot.

you can change behavior much faster with a "reason" or leverage against the old behavior much faster.