How to break free from my family's slowlane mentality?

[GuestUser8117]

It's always the same story. My parents always tell me "get a job!". My mom,:"I don't understand why you have this mentality of never working in your life". My dad"you think the car is free, you take it whenever you want, what the F*ck is wrong with you". "Get a job!". Not only do I inform him everytime I go out ,I pay him $200 every month for the car, and I always put gas in it. He wants me to suffer, to be a corporate drone and be unhappy like him. I'm very sick of it. For things to go well, he would want me to wake up at 7 am everyday and go work in some neanderthal job 5-6 days a week. He has this slowlane mentality, like completely conditionned to work, work, work, like a good little slave. Seriously, I don't think slowlaners and fastlaners can live together peacefully. Hmm, I don't know, not for me though. It's just 2 very different schools of thought. My father had almost always been angry/hostile with me,It's been like that all my life. Just because I don't think like him. It pisses me off. Gonna move elsewhere this year I think, It just sucks. Do you have issues like these? If so how are you dealing with it?

 

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[Runum]

Welcome to adulthood. It means you are growing up and do need to move on.

Good luck.

 

[Lights]

I kind of thought you were on your own.

Anyways, I dealt with this, saw rough times, and then bought a house.

ignore it, and move out.
.
I dont know what youre doing though... Have you had much success to show to your family? Money talks... bs walks.

 

[GuestUser8117]

I kind of thought you were on your own.

Anyways, I dealt with this, saw rough times, and then bought a house.

ignore it, and move out.


.
I dont know what youre doing though... Have you had much success to show to your family? Money talks... bs walks.

Living from savings, almost no expenses, I'm gonna have to find a job soon. Noooooo. Lol. Most likely, part time, to have a quality of life. I don't care if I don't have much money, my time and my health are more important.

 

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[GuestUser8117]

Never heard that expression before. It must be because I'm french...

 

[dknise]

Think about it from your dad's point of view. You want everything that his slowlane life provides for your right now, but don't respect the road your dad went to get it. You want a place to stay, food, access to a car. Telling someone that you want more than them (especially a parent) can be a hard pill for them to swallow. If you don't have to ever have that conversation, I wouldn't haha.

I had a choice when I was 19 with what I wanted to do with my life. It was either take the half a million from my grandparents and continue college, and get a job, or drop out and forge my own path. I responded that I would make my own half a million, and that the help they were going to deny wasn't a problem for me, because I wanted to forge my own path regardless. Today, I can say everything I have is because of my drive and determination. I don't have any people "I owe" for the life I have, and it's a great feeling.

 

[Lights]

Living from savings, almost no expenses, I'm gonna have to find a job soon. Noooooo. Lol. Most likely, part time, to have a quality of life. I don't care if I don't have much money, my time and my health are more important.

Are you using the fastlane mantras to NOT work? Independence is freedom.

I done that before... I realize it takes money to make it.



Become a male stripper.. beats min wage.

 

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[liquidglass]

I kind of thought you were on your own.

Lights just gave you the solution right here: Be on your own.

If you're of the fastlane mentality then be fastlane. Money and success like speed, so go fast, past their objections and make it happen.

A quote I love because it speaks to parts of my life is " Success is the best revenge."

My parents sound a bit like yours. When I told them I wasn't going to law school and instead I was going to strike it out on my own they couldn't believe it (seriously) weren't even willing to accept it. I respect where they came from and how hard they worked to provide the life they did for my brother and I. But I knew at an early age that doing the same routine until I was 65 was bs and wasn't willing to accept this was how things "just were." Before I started learning and growing I made the mistake of sharing with them that I didn't understand the point of existence just to do "a little better" every generation. I am NOT on earth to act as a financial evolution (slowly over generations) for my family tree. I am here to change the status quo, help people, be financially independent, and enjoy life the way it was meant to be.

You have a choice. Argue with them and let them pepper you with negativity towards your goals and dreams, OR, go out and F*cking do it.

I chose the latter.

Side note: due to other actions by my parents I no longer speak to them which I'm sure some people can relate.

However, by choosing the latter I have become more successful than I expected within the given time frame and continue to propel upward. Now paying for a full college education that my parents held so dear would be easy for me, something they can't understand.


So which way do you chose to go?

 

[theag]

Move out

 

[Runum]

It's always the same story. My parents always tell me "get a job!". My mom,:"I don't understand why you have this mentality of never working in your life". My dad"you think the car is free, you take it whenever you want, what the F*ck is wrong with you". "Get a job!". Not only do I inform him everytime I go out ,I pay him $200 every month for the car, and I always put gas in it. He wants me to suffer, to be a corporate drone and be unhappy like him. I'm very sick of it. For things to go well, he would want me to wake up at 7 am everyday and go work in some neanderthal job 5-6 days a week. He has this slowlane mentality, like completely conditionned to work, work, work, like a good little slave. Seriously, I don't think slowlaners and fastlaners can live together peacefully. Hmm, I don't know, not for me though. It's just 2 very different schools of thought. My father had almost always been angry/hostile with me,It's been like that all my life. Just because I don't think like him. It pisses me off. Gonna move elsewhere this year I think, It just sucks. Do you have issues like these? If so how are you dealing with it?

Some things you said got me to thinking.

Many newbies and young bucks come here and see the title of the forum and think "Fastlane = get rich quick, easy with no work"

No successful person here has ever said that was the case.

What has been said is that if you choose this life then you will work more hours and do more crap work than you have ever imagined. You will work when others are sleeping. You will work in the cold when others are comfortable. You will work in the heat when others are cool. You will drive crap cars that barely move or take mass transportation. You will do without now for a dream for the future.

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/yo...an/5145-dead-end-shit-jobs-yours-rated-r.html

I have spoken to a great many younger guys that think they have the magic key to get everyone to give them money and they don't have to do anything for it. They think they are so much more charming and smarter than anyone else. Delusional.

Wake up and respect what your dad has worked for and the comforts/resources he has provided you. He did it his way with his life. You my not agree with it but it is his life not yours.

It is his job as a father to provide you with guidance.

It is your job to grow up and find your own way. You need to respect your parents and reach an agreement on when you will move it.

You need to be scared. You need to sweat and get a little dirty to really appreciate what it's going to take to make your way in this world.

 

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[GuestUser8117]

Well, I like the responses here. Especially Runum's. Maybe I would act like my dad if I were in his shoes. I go to college part time, but if I want to move out, and I think I need to, well, I'm gonna have to find a stupid job(and not all jobs sucks, but I can't stand the neanderthal ones) and start the best fastlane business there is. All at the same time. This won't be easy.

And this reminds me of this thread by theag : https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/mindset-motivation-choices/44959-when-life-hits-you-face.html

A similar accident happened to me last week; I completely screw my left foot hiking in the mountains. Now I can't walk, it hurts too much. And I have plenty of time to rethink about my priorities in life.

 

[Runum]

Almost Father's Day. Maybe spend some time talking to him about his life lessons. Then lead into your situation and exchanging ideas about it. He may come up with solutions you had not considered.

 

[Astral Explorer]

Hey man, I'm in a similar situation as you, only difference is my parents know I'm rather "different" as I always stated to them I would rather be dead then go the "slowlane" route. I'm not here to SURVIVE LIFE, I'm here to actually live. It's ironic that now, I'm the one who is bailing out my parents from time to time as my consulting prices are abit steep. My advice is to DEAL WITH IT and stick around at home as long as possible in order to save and do whatever plans you have. I would've been highly distracted with simply surviving had I moved out.

As a BEING you need to be able to handle such social/cultural pressures and just continue to march to your own beat. At the moment, my father constantly cracks jokes about my so called "plan" but it's going to be interesting to see how they instantly change once money starts rolling in at the boatload. The thing I learnt is, MOST PEOPLE are going to try to hold you back doesn't matter if it's friends or family just realize they're caught in a belief trap. I've had heated debates with my parents about my philosophy of life, I know based on my personal experiences that I've always been living a fulfilled life and I've yet to compromise it.

With all that said though, you need to be somewhat objective, do you have a plan or process that your currently exploring or working towards? While this is my first legit "fastlane" attempt (which is going really well) I did have a rather unconventional "slowlane" plan that was only dependent on my TIME in the past. HOWEVER, I had too many setbacks and then I changed realizing I could never do it for money only for the love and enjoyment I had. That wasn't a complete waste though because it sorta was the catalyst for my "fastlane" project.

Hope that helps, stay strong...

 

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[Capital]

Cut out the violin lol. If I were you, I'd leave that house.

 

[million$$$smile]

It's really quite simple:

See the door,
Now open it,
Walk through
Close it GENTLY behind you
And don't look back till you've made it.

Thats what I did to keep myself from being swallowed up in mediocrity.
Best thing that ever happened.
Sure, it was tough at times, but I grew a pair and never looked back.
If you continue to live under anothers roof, you will always be subject to him in one form or another...

If you do live under anothers roof and are an adult, pay as though you are on your own including food and utilities.


If you can do that, then your ready to fly...
If you can't, shut up and quit whining....

Randall

 

[Steele Concept]

Our "fastlane" paradigm is one that few people accept as a way to live their lives. Entrepreneurs are the exception and not the rule. Why? Because it is a rocky road full of uncertainty, doubt and requires constant attention and discipline. Most people who work a 9-5 see the W2 life as the only option because it is all they know and we shouldn't look down on them for it. Jobs are a source of "security" and provide comfort for people... To eschew this in front of someone who has provided for you with their 9-5 makes you seem like an arrogant little shit.

If you want to avoid arguments with your father start a business and make some money. Show him you can do it your way and I'm sure he will be happy to have you under his roof for a while. Or get a job while working fastlane on the side... You can always move out if the living there isn't ideal.

Don't take it personally, older generations sometimes believe more in working harder rather than smarter. I think as entrepreneurs we should strive to do both at first until we can afford to simply work smarter, lol.

Take care man and keep your head up.

 

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[Vigilante]

Dear Dale Doback.

Either move out, or be content with a belly full of white dog shit.

Signed,

Management

 

[million$$$smile]

Tee-Hee-Hee-Haw-Haw!!!
That should be on a poster!

That would sell!
LOL

 

[Kak]

My parents always tell me "get a job!".

Omerta, your parents are right. Get a job, move the F*ck out, be a big boy for a while and supplement with your business until you can quit.

YOU ARE WASTING F*ckING TIME.

 

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[SeanKelly]

Omerta, your parents are right. Get a job, move the F*ck out, be a big boy for a while and supplement with your business until you can quit.

YOU ARE WASTING F*ckING TIME.

You are the man haha

 

[GuestUser8117]

Omerta, your parents are right. Get a job, move the F*ck out, be a big boy for a while and supplement with your business until you can quit.

YOU ARE WASTING F*ckING TIME.

I said my parents were always blubbering after me. Well, I got used to it and I now don't give a F*ck about what people think about me and if they don't align with my dreams. It's wasted energy. And my father and mother have patience, I recognize that. But you're right kak, I'm waking up to the fact that I am wasting F*cking time and I'm working on doing something interesting with my life. Nobody's perfect.

I have this idea of importing good cigars and fine liquors and selling them at a cheap price in bulk and franchise it to help some have their "own" venture. I'm getting more and more knowledgable in these things. Is there a need? I don't know. I could probably partner with a cigar shop in my town, as they are already well implanted.

Oh and I'm composing some music stuff with the guitar in the purpose of making an album. I can say I'm good at it and it makes me really happy. Music could be fastlane I think, like discussed in the other thread. People from this forum expect me to do something, take action and that is F*cking right. Thanks. F*ck that arrogant "crying like a bitch" attitude. Big up to all of you who take action, you are investing in your life and this is great.

 

[Kak]

Look Omerta, the reason they are "blubbering" and such is because you are not doing anything. I guarantee you, that if you had a job and worked on your business in all of your spare time, your parents wouldn't have shit to say. Go make your first $100 with your business. The moment you do that you will think it is SO DAMN COOL.

Cigars and liquor are a BAD BET for someone with little capital and little ability to raise money. Even if you did have deep pockets, the success is 10000000% marketing and it is a pretty big gamble for a first venture and someone with no experience in that market.

Like I said, get a job. It doesn't have to be a career, just cover your nut in an apartment. Worry about the venture you choose later. Make, becoming independent your first priority. If my businesses took a shit and I couldn't make ends meet I would get a job, not go move in with my parents...

Now I expect to see progress on this.

 

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[qewrtyass]

don't act tough when you are not yet in tough situation.
get out from your house. live your own, separate completely from your family. live with your own produced money.
then you could yell 'i live my own life', 'eff with your slow lane life'.
other than that, don't yell or argue if you are far from your success.

 

[andyredsox]

Haven't read some of the guys' post but how old are you anyway?

Regardless of age, you can't blame your parents' slow lane mentality.

They were raised and exposed to that kind of mentality.

You, however, know differently.

If you want to do something differently- move out.

Make your dreams happen man and stop complaining about life..

 

[D11FYY]

Heres some steps

1. Bite your tongue - respect the fact that they have clothed fed and put a roof over your head for however many years
2. Find a Job - Doesnt matter if its hard work long hours just make sure the pay is right. Just think if you where working 2 jobs the more your out the house the more money you are getting
3. Set a target and save till you get there wither it be 10k 20k just be that bit more comfortable it helps with moving out , sticky situations or if you are wanting to set up a business its gives you alot of leigh way when it comes to negotating.
4. Accept that rome wasnt built in a day and neither will your dreams come true unless you work hard and keep your chin up!
5. Keep a smile on your face and positive mindset

Best of luck

 

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[FastLearner]

"Just do it"-Nike

 

[avita]

I'm in a similar situation. My parents are pressuring me to go to law school. In fact, my dad, a lawyer, had sat me down before I went to college and we (he) drew up a master plan of different roads I can take to wealth. All of them unsurprisingly included me going to law school. And after that a wife, house, kids. Now that I'm finished college, I've been trying to figure out the key to success and I'm really happy to have stumbled upon The Millionaire Fastlane and this forum. The pressure is greater than ever because I've broken "the plan". I'm keeping my peace and feeding them the yarn that I am going to law school next year while I'm trying to find a proper road to wealth.

I like the advice given here and after five months of futile trying I've figured it out (wish I came on the forum earlier haha). I need to move out from my parent's house and that's going to involve a job because I want to leave ASAP. While doing that I'll be building my ship to success. All I can say is don't lose your winner's mindset regardless of all the nonsense hurled at you and get out of your house!

 

[Nebojsa]

Make sure you can support yourself, before moving on your own.
Don't forget Mark Zuckerberg was with their parents till 25, until he nailed it

 

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[HenkHolland]

As long as you are living under your parents' roof and they feed you, I don't think you can complain if they comment on the way you live.
If you want to be freed of their involvement, then be a big boy and move out of their house now and support yourself.
Otherwise, keep quiet and work towards moving out a.s.a.p.

 

[Silver Silk]

Lights just gave you the solution right here: Be on your own.

If you're of the fastlane mentality then be fastlane. Money and success like speed, so go fast, past their objections and make it happen.

A quote I love because it speaks to parts of my life is " Success is the best revenge."

My parents sound a bit like yours. When I told them I wasn't going to law school and instead I was going to strike it out on my own they couldn't believe it (seriously) weren't even willing to accept it. I respect where they came from and how hard they worked to provide the life they did for my brother and I. But I knew at an early age that doing the same routine until I was 65 was bs and wasn't willing to accept this was how things "just were." Before I started learning and growing I made the mistake of sharing with them that I didn't understand the point of existence just to do "a little better" every generation. I am NOT on earth to act as a financial evolution (slowly over generations) for my family tree. I am here to change the status quo, help people, be financially independent, and enjoy life the way it was meant to be.

You have a choice. Argue with them and let them pepper you with negativity towards your goals and dreams, OR, go out and F*cking do it.

I chose the latter.

Side note: due to other actions by my parents I no longer speak to them which I'm sure some people can relate.

However, by choosing the latter I have become more successful than I expected within the given time frame and continue to propel upward. Now paying for a full college education that my parents held so dear would be easy for me, something they can't understand.


So which way do you chose to go?

Out of curiosity how are things going in 2017 king?
Im facing similar situations & it really is time for me to move out