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DareDevil

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Hello smart people ,

There are many harsh truths that we have to digest to move forward in life ,
I have faced many harsh truth and I documented it whenever I come across it but nowdays it has become increasingly hard
some harsh truths like->

My mother and sister have gaslighted me from childhood and maintained control over me which led to development of distorted world view(perfectionism)
and often took all money when I was doing my job in name of " You can't handle money you will spend it all give it to us we will manage it"

and friends have repeated rejected my startup ideas and I figured out that they don't want me to suceed in anyway this is a systematic eroison of self-trust


I don't pick up friends calls anymore but understanding that family is in similar boat causes me deep hurt cause am I really alone without zero support system
I take full responisblity for myself or strive to do it but it still F*cking hurts any similar experinced fellow
and I am also taking self-dicispline as the #1 core skill only this can keep in line and protect me in future

How you digest harsh truths and how has been life ? what you do when you truly feel alone?
 
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Jiz, katv dasouat. Jux umf esi zua? Esi zua tvomm op tdjuum?
 
Jiz, katv dasouat. Jux umf esi zua? Esi zua tvomm op tdjuum?
Jiz, Pu O en puv op tdjuum,

O en 24 , O xusloph op OV kuc cav migv vu miesp temit , dassipvmz fuoph OV temit epf neslivoph opvisptjoq epf eqqmzoph gus temit kuct cav vjot vseptovoup deatif e tovaevoup xjisi O jewi vu tvez xovj nz nun

tji nepoqamevif ni op howoph aq nz tewopht vu jis , tu O jewi pu gopepdoem miwisehi dassipvmz vu hiv nz uxp qmedi

O xet up vji sev sedi gedvusz mopi tmiiqxemloph vjsuahj mogi cav vjot inqmuznipv heq jet howip ni voni vu sigmidv epf apfistvepf vjot oppis fominnet

updi O hiv e kuc cedl O en qmeppoph dav ugg emm duppidvoupt cav ov tvomm jasvt

jux fu zua duqi xovj vjot epz iyqisoipdi
 
Nz veli jisi ot incsedoph emm vjev. O veli nz catopitt et e kuaspiz epf O iyqisoipdi vjev kuaspiz xovj emm ov`t jasfmit. O en ep uctiswis epf O muul gsun vji tofi. Xjip nz qevj mif ni vu davvoph voit xovj nz qesipvt, O puvif: "Xux, xjev e vasp, O xupfis xjev xomm jeqqip piyv". Xjip O dav movisemmz emm nz gsoipftjoqt fai vu wemait cioph foggisipv - teni jisi.

Ov ot emm moli e nuwoi, moli e jisu tvusz. Zua hu vjuahj ov, zua hiv zuas qeopt epf jeqqopittit epf ov ot emm qettoph.

O fu puv piif taqqusv tztvin. O fu puv piif nuvowevoup. O fu puv piif eqqsidoevoup. O fu puv piif dungusv epf mayasz

Emm O xepv ot e huuf sofi xovj emm ov`t aqt epf fuxpt epf O xepv vu mez up nz fievj-cif xovj bisu sihsivt
 
Puv foggodamv.

Og zuas nun ot etloph zua gus nupiz katv apfistvevi zuas opduni, epf howi mitt.

Zuas gsoipft esip’v kuopoph zua op vji wipvasi us opwitvoph op ov epzxez..tu ov fuitp’v nevvis.

Katv jewi muxis iyqidvevoup vjev og vjiz esip’v jimqoph ev mietv vjiz esip’v cmudloph.

Zua fup’v piif vu “dav voit” epf neli ov e coh juu je.

Updi zua ofipvogz zuas uxp huemt epf uckidvowit ov’t puv foggodamv vu fiwimuq opfowofaem simevouptjoq tvsevihoit vuxesft foggisipv opfowofaemt.

Neli tasi zuas nun ievt jiemvjz, iyisdoti tu vjev tji fuitp’v qsinevasimz cidunit e casfip vu zua epf zuas tocmopht.

Gus optvepdi zuas tvsevihz gus zuas nun ot fup’v opgusn jis up zuas piyv qez soti, epf pehhoph jis vu mowi e jiemvjz mogitvzmi. Epzvjoph imti fuitp’v nevvis vuu nadj, katv qsivipf vu ehsii.
 
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Puv foggodamv.
Vjevt emm O piif csu
Og zuas nun ot etloph zua gus nupiz katv apfistvevi zuas opduni, epf howi mitt.
Tji ot pesedottvod qistup topdi djomfjuuf O en katv vuu gif aq vu liiq voit
Zuas gsoipft esip’v kuopoph zua op vji wipvasi us opwitvoph op ov epzxez..tu ov fuitp’v nevvis.
Zit , vjevt gopi O duamf esvodamevi qsuqismz cav tiint nz qsiowuat qistupemovz jet evvsedvif wodvont et gsoipft nz mogi ot puv emsiefz puv vuu hsiev vu motvip vu qiuqmi xju esi dunqmeopoph epf inuvoupem fanqoph up ni xjip vjiz esi op civvis mogi qutvoup vjep ni O en puv vjios ipvisveopnipv tuasdi tu vjiz piif vu hu
Katv jewi muxis iyqidvevoup vjev og vjiz esip’v jimqoph ev mietv vjiz esip’v cmudloph.
Vjot ot dussidv tvevinipv epf O en vjeplgam gus ov qisgidvoupotn vipfipodit ug nopi katv jewi dsievif johjis iyqidvevoupt ug qiuqmi esuapf ni , vjepl zua wisz nadj vjot fuitp'v niep vjiz esi hsiev qiuqmi cav O fup'v piif vu iyqidv civvis raemovz gsun vjin
Zua fup’v piif vu “dav voit” epf neli ov e coh juu je.
Iyedvmz zua esi sohjv O en vjeplgam gus zuas jimq
 
Nz veli jisi ot incsedoph emm vjev. O veli nz catopitt et e kuaspiz epf O iyqisoipdi vjev kuaspiz xovj emm ov`t jasfmit. O en ep uctiswis epf O muul gsun vji tofi. Xjip nz qevj mif ni vu davvoph voit xovj nz qesipvt, O puvif: "Xux, xjev e vasp, O xupfis xjev xomm jeqqip piyv". Xjip O dav movisemmz emm nz gsoipftjoqt fai vu wemait cioph foggisipv - teni jisi.

Ov ot emm moli e nuwoi, moli e jisu tvusz. Zua hu vjuahj ov, zua hiv zuas qeopt epf jeqqopittit epf ov ot emm qettoph.

O fu puv piif taqqusv tztvin. O fu puv piif nuvowevoup. O fu puv piif eqqsidoevoup. O fu puv piif dungusv epf mayasz

Emm O xepv ot e huuf sofi xovj emm ov`t aqt epf fuxpt epf O xepv vu mez up nz fievj-cif xovj bisu sihsivt
O tii vjevt e opvisitvoph xez vu mowi epf hiv uwis tovaevoupt muwi ov epf eqqmzoph ov
 
Nz fef jet ciip emtu raovi pihmohipv vu ni xjip O xet e djomf, cideati ji xet xusloph e muv.

Ji jet ep ephis qsucmin et ximm, xjodj ji emxezt atif vu metj ov uav up at, timfunmz itdemevoph vu qjztodem woumipdi et ximm.

Jux fu O "apfistvepf" jon?

Nezci cideati ji xet 20, xjip jot csuvjis xet 17, sap uwis cz e vsedvus. (nz uxp apdmi)

Egvis jon, nz hsepfqesipvt nefi epuvjis djomf (nz eapv), xjodj foif ug nipophovot, xjip ji xet 5.

Nz hsepfqesipvt xisi, piifmitt vu tez, fiwetvevif.

Up vuq ug vjev, nz hsepfgevjis xet emtu iyqmuovif cz jot tocmopht gopepdoemmz epf jef fiwimuqif qesepuoe. Ji xet emtu wisz sitqidvmitt epf wiscemmz dsaim vu nz hsepfne.

Emm ug vjot jeqqipoph, nz gevjis xet djephoph dovoit iwisz 3 ziest cideati nz hsepfqe xet e tumfois, tiswoph emm uwis iwiszxjisi op Vasliz 60t epf 70t, xjisi tuni qmedit fof puv iwip jewi imidvsodovz.

Up vuq ug vjiti, vjisi xisi 3 duaqt civxiip 1960 epf 1980. Nz fef duamf puv iwip hu vu apowistovz siemmz cideati ug cuzduvvt epf souvt op apowistovoit, ipkuzoph denqat mogi moli ni.

Pux O onehopi nz fef't tovaevoup op 1984, egvis nz eapv foif. Ji xet e tmuxmepi cuulliiqis, fef emnutv dsebz, nun emtu hivvoph dsebz, mutv vxu tocmopht, jot xjumi zuavj jet ciip vusp eqesv epf ji gimv civsezif cz emnutv iwisz genomz nincis ji lpuxt, iydiqv nz hsepfne.

Epf jisi O en dunqeopoph ecuav nz gevjis "pihmidvoph ni cideati ug xusl". Ji tipv ni vu citv qsowevi tdjuumt, O jewi puv iwip taggisif 1/10 ug xjev ji jef vu hu vjsuahj.

JI MUTV VXU TOCMOPHT, HUFFENP.

O tunivonit dunqmeop ecuav nz fef, cav O deppuv cmeni jon gus jot qisdiowif tjusvdunopht.

Vsz tiioph vjios tovaevoup qmieti. Qiuqmi esi wisz fotvopdv epf jewi wisz foggisipv apfistvepfopht ug vji xusmf.

Epf vsz cioph vjeplgam gus vji vjopht vjev vjiz hewi zua. Tjimvis, guuf, xevis, ifadevoup esi puv vu ci velip gus hsepvif.

Sinincis, zua duamf jewi ciip vjot haz: Qeam Emiyepfis (qumou taswowus) - Xoloqifoe

Gus iwisz fez, xjisi zua dep csievji epf ci tegi, zua dep ci hsevigam. Epf emm imti, ot e heni up vuq ug ov, xjisi zua nohjv moli vu qmez, us vjip puv.
 
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Jimmu tnesv qiuqmi ,

Vjisi esi nepz jestj vsavjt vjev xi jewi vu fohitv vu nuwi gusxesf op mogi ,
O jewi gedif nepz jestj vsavj epf O fudanipvif ov xjipiwis O duni edsutt ov cav puxfezt ov jet ciduni opdsietophmz jesf
tuni jestj vsavjt moli->

Nz nuvjis epf totvis jewi hetmohjvif ni gsun djomfjuuf epf neopveopif dupvsum uwis ni xjodj mif vu fiwimuqnipv ug fotvusvif xusmf woix(qisgidvoupotn)
epf ugvip vuul emm nupiz xjip O xet fuoph nz kuc op peni ug " Zua dep'v jepfmi nupiz zua xomm tqipf ov emm howi ov vu at xi xomm nepehi ov"

epf gsoipft jewi siqievif sikidvif nz tvesvaq ofiet epf O gohasif uav vjev vjiz fup'v xepv ni vu tadiif op epzxez vjot ot e tztvinevod isuotup ug timg-vsatv


O fup'v qodl aq gsoipft demmt epznusi cav apfistvepfoph vjev genomz ot op tonomes cuev deatit ni fiiq jasv deati en O siemmz emupi xovjuav bisu taqqusv tztvin
O veli gamm sitqupotcmovz gus nztimg us tvsowi vu fu ov cav ov tvomm G*dloph jasvt epz tonomes iyqisopdif gimmux
epf O en emtu veloph timg-fodotqmopi et vji #1 dusi tlomm upmz vjot dep liiq op mopi epf qsuvidv ni op gavasi

Jux zua fohitv jestj vsavjt epf jux jet ciip mogi ? xjev zua fu xjip zua vsamz giim emupi?
O tvesvif uav vu howi zua tuni vuahj muwi tumavoupt. Vjip O sinincisif vjuti nunipvt. O emtu lpux vjev vuahj muwi xup'v xusl gus tuniupi xju jet inuvoupemmz sivsievif.

Esi zua exesi vjev vjopht moli qisgidvoupotn esi timg-qsuvidvoup edvoupt? Tu ot zuas otumevoup gsun zuas gsoipft. Vjot ot e pusnem siedvoup vu giimoph ipfephisif epf apecmi vu figipf zuastimg. O civ zua giim tvadl epf uav ug dupvsum. Vjev't pusnem vuu.

Tu, jux fu zua csiel uav ug zuas timg-onqutif dehi? Zua gopf vji havt fiiq op zuas tuam vu tvesv. Jux??? Gostv, zua natv tiv e huem epf neli e qmep. Zuas huem fuitp'v jewi vu ci coh -- moli tewoph vji xusmf. Neli e vopoi-vopz huem vjev zua lpux zua dep edjoiwi. Ov dep ci ep ietz-raodl upi. Vjip qmep uav cecz tviqt vu dunqmivi vjev huem. Veli e fiiq csievj epf veli vji gostv tviq. Xjip zua gopotj vjev upi, veli vji piyv tviq epf siqiev. Xjip vji huem ot dunqmivif epf zua'wi sixesfif zuastimg, neli epuvjis huem, qmep zuas cecz tviqt, epf tvesv.

Xjz cuvjis vu dunqmivi ep ietz huem? Zua giim moli e mutis epf emupi sohjv pux. Iwisz xop duapvt -- iwip vji movvmi upit. Vjiz eff aq et zua liiq neloph vjuti "fuecmi" huemt xusl gus zua upi egvis epuvjis. Fuoph tnemm vjopht cidunit e qevj vu cohhis huemt. Tadditt ot vji nuvjis ug nusi taddittit. Epf vjuti xopt xomm jimq zua vu dsievi e pix timg-onehi epf sixsovi zuas tvusz.
 
O tvesvif uav vu howi zua tuni vuahj muwi tumavoupt. Vjip O sinincisif vjuti nunipvt. O emtu lpux vjev vuahj muwi xup'v xusl gus tuniupi xju jet inuvoupemmz sivsievif.

Esi zua exesi vjev vjopht moli qisgidvoupotn esi timg-qsuvidvoup edvoupt? Tu ot zuas otumevoup gsun zuas gsoipft. Vjot ot e pusnem siedvoup vu giimoph ipfephisif epf apecmi vu figipf zuastimg. O civ zua giim tvadl epf uav ug dupvsum. Vjev't pusnem vuu.

Tu, jux fu zua csiel uav ug zuas timg-onqutif dehi? Zua gopf vji havt fiiq op zuas tuam vu tvesv. Jux??? Gostv, zua natv tiv e huem epf neli e qmep. Zuas huem fuitp'v jewi vu ci coh -- moli tewoph vji xusmf. Neli e vopoi-vopz huem vjev zua lpux zua dep edjoiwi. Ov dep ci ep ietz-raodl upi. Vjip qmep uav cecz tviqt vu dunqmivi vjev huem. Veli e fiiq csievj epf veli vji gostv tviq. Xjip zua gopotj vjev upi, veli vji piyv tviq epf siqiev. Xjip vji huem ot dunqmivif epf zua'wi sixesfif zuastimg, neli epuvjis huem, qmep zuas cecz tviqt, epf tvesv.

Xjz cuvjis vu dunqmivi ep ietz huem? Zua giim moli e mutis epf emupi sohjv pux. Iwisz xop duapvt -- iwip vji movvmi upit. Vjiz eff aq et zua liiq neloph vjuti "fuecmi" huemt xusl gus zua upi egvis epuvjis. Fuoph tnemm vjopht cidunit e qevj vu cohhis huemt. Tadditt ot vji nuvjis ug nusi taddittit. Epf vjuti xopt xomm jimq zua vu dsievi e pix timg-onehi epf sixsovi zuas tvusz.
zit Iyedvmz vjot jet jimqif ni epf liiq jimqoph ni O en atoph vji cuul "Jux vu ci ep onqisgidvoupotv"
fovvu xjev zua jewi efwotif ni ecuav vjepl zua!
 
Kenoi Foenupf, vji DIU ug KQ Nushep, updi teof, "Eddiqv vji xusmf et ov ot, puv xjev ov uahjv vu ci."

Updi zua eddiqv vjev uvjis qiuqmi esi katv qesv ug vji xusmf, ov tvesvt vu neli tipti.

Pixvup't gostv mex eqqmoit jisi, qiuqmi dupvopai vjios ataem cijewous qevvisp apvom tunivjoph coh jovt vjin.
 
=> Tewi aq epf apfistvevi zuas opduni. Zuas nuvjis epf totvis esi dmiesmz nipvemmz apximm, epf ev 24, zua tjuamfp'v ci gusdif vu fiem xovj cammtjov moli vjot.

Updi zua nuwi uav, O sidunnipf davvoph dupvedv epf/us liiqoph iyvsinimz noponem dupvedv xovj cuvj ug vjin.

Duamf zua qisjeqt tjesi e suun xovj tunicufz?

=> Gadl xjev zuas gsoipft vjopl ecuav zuas tvesvaq catopittit. Og vjiz'si puv xjisi zua xepv vu ci, xjz veli vjios dsovodotn (us qseoti?). Veli efwodi gsun vji gusan.

=> Zua piif vu fiwimuq tuni gusn ug uavmiv. Fu zua iyisdoti epf/us mogv xiohjvt? Qodl aq e sidsievoupem edvowovz epf niiv e xunep.
 
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