Well, I'm 18 i live in Italy and i'm still in high school. I'm not a native English speaker like you guys but i hope it's not a problem. Oh I forgot, my name is Jian and my parents are Chinese and despite my age (other my Comtemporary are completely free from all the worries about the future).
I'm so stressed about everything, in fact i'm almost sure the reason i have white hair it's not for some disease or a genetical problem but for the stress that i carry with me every single day with me, and in fact other my "friends" say that i'm just overthinking and that i have to enjoy my youth.
I'm off from school for the summer holidays and on Instagram i just see people having parties at the beaches, discoteques, getting drunk, high and so many other things. i too went to the discoteques nd got drunk but i just wanted to relieve myself a little and stop overthinking.
Now the situation in my family: we are not rich and neither poor just normal, but the hours that my mother spends running the shop is so much that just destroys her(8-10 hours a day 360/365 days per year), my father has been living for 5 years now with a problem about one of his kidney and the backward economy here in Italy is not helping at all.
Every month the shop- despite being quite big 1400metres/square- sells just that much that after paying for food, rent, ecc just a little remains, so we(my mother) have to keep the shop open almost everyday of the year from 9am (10am on Sunday) straight to 20pm.
I had many periods in my life when i felt so bad that i even considerate to commit suicide, or just close the door and cry for no reason, my parents can't understand me, it's not like they don't treat me well, they do but they were raised differently back in the 70's in china: my father started to work at age of 12 or something and my mother a bit later but when they were about my age(18) they came to Italy to work because they needed money. Their conception is that you have to work hard, save your money start something like a resturant, a shop, ecc and basically work for your entire life till your children grows up and can start to take care of you or in alternative to study and become a doctor.
The problem here is that my mother thinks that becoming a doctor is the best for me and when i try to explain to her my disagreement she just doesn't get it and stay in silence or get mad at me, then after 2 weeks she restart with the whole become a doctor thing.
my dad leaves to me the right to make choices, but he never was there for me, from my childhood i can't remember a single moment where he has done some "dad thing" to me like a children deserve to be treated. i know they love me but they just can't understand me and my choices or they just don't know how to be a parent, however the main thing is they think that there are just a few ways to make money(work hard for almost my entire life or study medicine for 10 years) and i want to prove them their wrong and also give them a better life when they get older.
Now i don't know if i wrote too much or not or if it's enough as an introduction, but it's 2:31am here and i have to get up at 8, and i really wanted to write my introduction now and post it, i don't fell like re-reading everything to correct the mistaken words so please accept my apologies for my bad english!
I'm so stressed about everything, in fact i'm almost sure the reason i have white hair it's not for some disease or a genetical problem but for the stress that i carry with me every single day with me, and in fact other my "friends" say that i'm just overthinking and that i have to enjoy my youth.
I'm off from school for the summer holidays and on Instagram i just see people having parties at the beaches, discoteques, getting drunk, high and so many other things. i too went to the discoteques nd got drunk but i just wanted to relieve myself a little and stop overthinking.
Now the situation in my family: we are not rich and neither poor just normal, but the hours that my mother spends running the shop is so much that just destroys her(8-10 hours a day 360/365 days per year), my father has been living for 5 years now with a problem about one of his kidney and the backward economy here in Italy is not helping at all.
Every month the shop- despite being quite big 1400metres/square- sells just that much that after paying for food, rent, ecc just a little remains, so we(my mother) have to keep the shop open almost everyday of the year from 9am (10am on Sunday) straight to 20pm.
I had many periods in my life when i felt so bad that i even considerate to commit suicide, or just close the door and cry for no reason, my parents can't understand me, it's not like they don't treat me well, they do but they were raised differently back in the 70's in china: my father started to work at age of 12 or something and my mother a bit later but when they were about my age(18) they came to Italy to work because they needed money. Their conception is that you have to work hard, save your money start something like a resturant, a shop, ecc and basically work for your entire life till your children grows up and can start to take care of you or in alternative to study and become a doctor.
The problem here is that my mother thinks that becoming a doctor is the best for me and when i try to explain to her my disagreement she just doesn't get it and stay in silence or get mad at me, then after 2 weeks she restart with the whole become a doctor thing.
my dad leaves to me the right to make choices, but he never was there for me, from my childhood i can't remember a single moment where he has done some "dad thing" to me like a children deserve to be treated. i know they love me but they just can't understand me and my choices or they just don't know how to be a parent, however the main thing is they think that there are just a few ways to make money(work hard for almost my entire life or study medicine for 10 years) and i want to prove them their wrong and also give them a better life when they get older.
Now i don't know if i wrote too much or not or if it's enough as an introduction, but it's 2:31am here and i have to get up at 8, and i really wanted to write my introduction now and post it, i don't fell like re-reading everything to correct the mistaken words so please accept my apologies for my bad english!
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