Hello, last born, feeling worthless.

[Kalactose]

Hey guys, I feel like my parents ask too much of me. I'm the last born and I feel like a backup that wasn't needed. Please, what should I do?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Anyone's opinion of you is not the reality, even your parents. You are what you think, and do - not what someone speaks.

 

[Not Sure]

While I'm sorry that your parents expect things of you, if your parents' wishes were fulfilled via other siblings (as I gather from your post), you are more free to pursue your own path. I.e. if your sibling(s) are successful in your parents' eyes and you're the 'unneeded backup', the pressure on you should be lower.

My advice would be to write-down the elements or milestones that define success to you. Your definition of a successful life or lifestyle might diverge greatly from your parents or anyone else and their opinion of that criteria is not as important as yours. Also consider how they are asking things of you. Are they being direct and demanding things of you or are they things that you've perhaps put upon yourself thinking that it's what your parents want. Please don't take that the wrong way, but I ask the question because I've done it myself - my parents want me to be happy and fulfilled beyond any other tangible goal and the pressure was largely of my own making. You can take their hopes for you into account, but it's your life and you're more likely to find success in endeavors that arise from internal motivation.

Write your goals and motivations behind them. If you deem them worthy of your action, break them down into smaller steps and commit to yourself to see them through. Keep in mind that this is not set in stone and that your goals and motivations can change over time. Let your actions follow your words faithfully and you'll be amazed with the person you become.

Peace and best wishes.

 

[DeletedUser84644]

Hey guys, I feel like my parents ask too much of me. I'm the last born and I feel like a backup that wasn't needed. Please, what should I do?

If you're 18+, try to become as self sufficient as quickly as you can, and move the F*ck out of your parents house. If not, don't take what they say about you too seriously and just cope with what they ask you to do as best you can until you become of age to have the legal right and autonomy to make your own decidions- regardless of what your parents say, think, and whether they like it or not. Most parents don't respect your right to make your own decisions at first because they've been so used to making all of the decisions towards your life's trajectory for you. It's a habit for them to be over protective and have the natural tendency to want to sail the ship at the expense of your happiness, because they've been doing it for 18 years of your life. It's not something that they can just break like that- but still, it doesn't justify their encroachment on your right to self autonomy. But do keep in mind that that doesn't mean you can just necessarily do whatever the absolute F*ck you want I'm their house- you still have to follow some basic rules of propriety (Yes even stuff as annoying as having to do the chores occasionally). Not doing so means that they can just decide to pull the trigger on you and kick you out with complete disownment- Because when you're 18+ in the U.S, and in a lot of jurisdictions where you're legally considered an adult, they are no longer legally obligated to support you, and thus, have the right to kick you out at any time they please- even on the very day that you turn 18 / become a legal adult (Note that the age of majority and that potential kick you out scenario depends on your jurisdiction and may not pan out exactly as how I'm describing it, but still, nevertheless, always prepare for the worst case scenario in everything in life.)

 

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