You're right. In my writing group, we call it literary throat-clearing. I will also be aware not to do that in business writing.

 

Thank you @Andy Black . I needed to be told this.

 

I recommend Shani Raja's course Writing with Flair: How to Become A Masterful Writer on Udemy.

A game changer!

It covers simplicity, clarity and economical writing; among other things.

 

Hey, @Andy Black

Didn't have time to write a short reply, so I'm writing you a long one instead.

...

This is a good post.

 

Literally just got this message from LinkedIn (1 of 100’s)



I know it’s spam, but if they’re really trying to recruit people, I’m not gonna read through all of that and call them back, without at least a salary offer + hours.

(She actually replied, this is funny)



Like lead with your best offer, not a unintelligible sales pitch...

 

The book Writing Without Bullshit improved my business writing.

You will learn how to spot bad writing habits and how to correct them.

 

Definitely. "Downward pressure on verbosity" is how I put it. Terse and expressive gives the best results, and people blathering on is usually an expression of low self-esteem, aimlessness, being a time-waster etc.

Even in cafes people do it:
"hi, yeah I'd just like to get a latte please", "hot/cold?", "let's make it a cold one", "what size?", "medium would be good thanks", god damn!
Versus:
"a hot large latte please"

Don't say a single word to the customer that doesn't directly address the key things they care about, unless it's below the fold or behind a "find out more" button (for the types who need to be cajoled into buying).

"Position open for pipe sales manager for Austin/San Antonio region. $100k neg., 9-5, Mon-Fri. If interested email resume to: ...".

No I'm not interested, but now I know how much a pipe sales manager makes, and it only cost a few seconds of reading, so I'm not pissed off with you.

 

Very simple formula taught at school.

A. B. C

Accuracy, Brevity, Clarity.

Whether speaking or writing.

Lincoln's Gettysburg address was relevant to the intended audience, not too long or too short and easily understood by the audience.

JK Rowling's Harry Potter novels are relevant to the intended audience, not too long or too short and easily understood by the audience.

Dan

 

Hello Sir,
I'm writing to tell you that I know you're very busy and I must keep my forthcoming question very brief. So can I ask you a question?

 

Hahaha! This goes for phone calls too. I get quite a few calls on a daily basis, many of them begin this way, some of them will even be an awkward combination of 2 and 3!

Post edited multiple times in an attempt to be brief and to the point...

 

A variation of the shit sandwich

1) you're awesome
2) I can't believe how badly you stuffed that up, my three year old could have done better!
3) I love your tie!

 

Im applying this to my app development. I used to have a menu on app start, now its just 1 button "PLAY"

 

@Raoul Duke two can play at this game.



Okay. I'm done wasting everyone's time.

 

What's wrong with this one? I use this for my emails to put the reader in an agreeable state and to acknowledge his time is important.

I then follow up with ONLY 6 lines or less of text all separated with no wasted language to get the point of the email.

What do you guys think?

 

Yo dawg I heard you like to ask questions about asking questions when u ask questions about asking questions, so I put some questions in yo questions so you can ask questions about asking questions while u ask questions

 

Something I picked up from Joseph Sugarman:

1. Write the first draft of emails.
2. Go out and take a walk. Let your brain process the stuff unconsciously.
3. Come back, review and edit.

Repeat Steps 2-3 as needed until the work is concise enough.

And it actually works for STUDYING in school and college. Kids that hope to burn the midnight oil to the max actually cut their mental processes and eventual output into pieces with such bloody inefficiency.

Address by name. Or department, if you can't find any names to look for.

Nah, make a first call, ask for the receiver's name, and ask for him/her again later or use the name in email later.

Works well for many companies that usually staff the customer service department with 5-10 regulars, but I'm not sure about dealing with departments of 50+ folks.

Quality post

I can foresee Linkedin taking a nosedive similar to that of Facebook at this rate.....

 

View: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqs1mr


Makes me laugh every time.

On another note, my pet peeve is when they lead with “I’m not trying to sell you anything, but...” (proceed to sales pitch) immediately setting a precedent that they aren’t truthful.

 

My eyes can't stand all the gold you're throwing at them, but my mind is craving for more.
Thank you Andy !

 

Makes sense. What do you put on your first line? Do you use any attention grabbers? How do you increase the probability of your reader opening the email and reading all the way through? What about the subject line?