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Time to kill, so here's another one I pulled -- this time on our Executive VP.
His son got married, and he was building a house (the son).
Jim, the VP, is kind of tight with a buck.
He was always buying stuff at Home Depot, trying it out, and then returning it a day later.
The owner of our company got wind of it, and asked me to think of a way to "get him good".
So...I downloaded the Home Depot icon, and made some VERY realistic looking letterhead and envelope stock.
I wrote a long-winded description of why, due to the unusual activity on his account, we were forced to lock his account.
I cited sections of the "Home Depot Credit Agreement" he had signed.
I apologized if "we were in error", but it "was for his protection".
I gave him the direct line to my office, "in case he wanted to discuss this".
I signed it "Sandra B. Leonard, Customer Relations, Fraud Division" and had one of the girls in the office sign it.
I sealed it in a matching envelope, ran it through the postage meter, made it a little dirty, stamped it with our office "received" stamp, and put it in his mail slot.
Of course, the number I gave him was for a Phone Sex Line.
It was an "800" number that kicks over to a "900" or something.
So, he calls and asks for "Sandra B. Leonard", and the girl says something like "She's not here, Sugar. This is Bambi. What would you like to talk about, Sweetheart?"
He says, "Sandra's not there? ... No. ... Sorry, wrong number." and hangs up.
He checks the number and redials. Different girl. Same routine.
This time, he really is careful dialing. This time, "Velvet" tells him that, since he's one of their better customers, he's earned a FREE CALL the next time he calls them. He asks her for more details, starts to realize he's been had, and then says "That a**hole, WHITE!".:smilielol:
Sometimes it's sooooooo good to be bad.:iagree:
His son got married, and he was building a house (the son).
Jim, the VP, is kind of tight with a buck.
He was always buying stuff at Home Depot, trying it out, and then returning it a day later.
The owner of our company got wind of it, and asked me to think of a way to "get him good".
So...I downloaded the Home Depot icon, and made some VERY realistic looking letterhead and envelope stock.
I wrote a long-winded description of why, due to the unusual activity on his account, we were forced to lock his account.
I cited sections of the "Home Depot Credit Agreement" he had signed.
I apologized if "we were in error", but it "was for his protection".
I gave him the direct line to my office, "in case he wanted to discuss this".
I signed it "Sandra B. Leonard, Customer Relations, Fraud Division" and had one of the girls in the office sign it.
I sealed it in a matching envelope, ran it through the postage meter, made it a little dirty, stamped it with our office "received" stamp, and put it in his mail slot.
Of course, the number I gave him was for a Phone Sex Line.
It was an "800" number that kicks over to a "900" or something.
So, he calls and asks for "Sandra B. Leonard", and the girl says something like "She's not here, Sugar. This is Bambi. What would you like to talk about, Sweetheart?"
He says, "Sandra's not there? ... No. ... Sorry, wrong number." and hangs up.
He checks the number and redials. Different girl. Same routine.
This time, he really is careful dialing. This time, "Velvet" tells him that, since he's one of their better customers, he's earned a FREE CALL the next time he calls them. He asks her for more details, starts to realize he's been had, and then says "That a**hole, WHITE!".:smilielol:
Sometimes it's sooooooo good to be bad.:iagree:
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