Okay, I'm rereading the millionaire fastlane and got to the part about choice l. As a college student
"• The choice to cheat on your exams or study.
• The choice to squander college because your parents paid for it." Stuck with me
Thing is I study (at least did it right in my first semester of this third year). Sometimes to the point I feel nauseous. However, my grades don't show it and I feel awful like I'm wasting my parents money. This year, before my parents paid, I had a fight with my Dad (which I deeply regretted, apologized and we made up) but he asked me If I still choose to be a part of the family or not during the heated moment. Of course I chose my family but honestly I feel Iike that was an opportunity for me to stop leaching of my parents. Not going into details but one main reason we had a fight was because I was frustrated with myself and lashed it out on my Dad which I guess is because of pressure seeing how they are struggling and I'm failing (I'm second among 6 children and the second they are still currently training in college). I feel like a waste. When we had the fight, my Dad said if I leave the family, I would know life is not easy and would suffer (Seeing how he's right most of the time and from my time in college, I knew this one was true). That is not the reason I decided to stay, but honestly, if leaving meant no support from them, I may as well be completely broken (and possibly even dead). It's a four year study but seeing my grades, they may be an extra year and I don't think my parents would be happy or too willing to pay for that. I guess I chickened out and now feel stuck. The solution to my problem would be money to finish paying myself, for myself (and maybe my brothers) and by myself. Then again the fear of financial hardship, the fear of not being smart enough(I don't even like what I'm currently studying. That story is not for this forum) and the fear of failure if I decide to leave are the glueing factors
Is it possible for my life to get back on track? I really feel like a waste
"• The choice to cheat on your exams or study.
• The choice to squander college because your parents paid for it." Stuck with me
Thing is I study (at least did it right in my first semester of this third year). Sometimes to the point I feel nauseous. However, my grades don't show it and I feel awful like I'm wasting my parents money. This year, before my parents paid, I had a fight with my Dad (which I deeply regretted, apologized and we made up) but he asked me If I still choose to be a part of the family or not during the heated moment. Of course I chose my family but honestly I feel Iike that was an opportunity for me to stop leaching of my parents. Not going into details but one main reason we had a fight was because I was frustrated with myself and lashed it out on my Dad which I guess is because of pressure seeing how they are struggling and I'm failing (I'm second among 6 children and the second they are still currently training in college). I feel like a waste. When we had the fight, my Dad said if I leave the family, I would know life is not easy and would suffer (Seeing how he's right most of the time and from my time in college, I knew this one was true). That is not the reason I decided to stay, but honestly, if leaving meant no support from them, I may as well be completely broken (and possibly even dead). It's a four year study but seeing my grades, they may be an extra year and I don't think my parents would be happy or too willing to pay for that. I guess I chickened out and now feel stuck. The solution to my problem would be money to finish paying myself, for myself (and maybe my brothers) and by myself. Then again the fear of financial hardship, the fear of not being smart enough(I don't even like what I'm currently studying. That story is not for this forum) and the fear of failure if I decide to leave are the glueing factors
Is it possible for my life to get back on track? I really feel like a waste
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