Whenever a discussion arises here about the “Fear of Failure” … and how this fear is such a terrible thing … invariably … someone offers up the analogy of asking girls out on a date.
One guy tries and fails … again … and again … and again … until finally … he succeeds … and lands a date.
Guy number two (in the meantime) … leans up against a wall … afraid to ask anyone out on a date … and as a result … goes home by himself.
The moral of the story …?
You can’t win if you don’t try … which is true.
Followed by … don’t let a fear of failure hold you back.
And that’s where I have a problem with the analogy.
You see … in the common example above … what did the first guy lose … each time he failed …?
Nothing.
Sure … maybe his ego was a little bruised … or perhaps … he experienced a moment of fleeting disappointment … but the reality is … he lost nothing of any real consequence.
So he takes one "free shot" and the apple … again and again … until he succeeds.
Big deal.
But the real world doesn’t work that way … not in most situations, at least.
Let me ask you a question.
Why don’t you rob a bank …?
Robbing a bank is Fastlane …right …?
There’s a lot of money in that vault … right …?
I’ll tell you what holds you back … the Fear of Failure.
The fear of what happens … if you try … and fail.
Because we all know what happens if you try to rob a bank and fail … right …?
Or if you borrow money from the mafia … and show up one year later empty handed ...?
Or invest your life savings … or blow a substantial inheritance … on some whacky idea you “just knew” was going to be a winner.
You suffer consequences.
Serious consequences.
The Fear of Failure … is a biological survival mechanism.
It’s the reason you don’t wrestle with a wild Grizzly Bear ... trying to snatch the fish out of its mouth.
Because people who try to do that … don’t live long enough to reproduce.
Darwin does a good job of weeding those nut bags out.
For every David Crockett ... there are 99 ... dead ... Crazy Eyed Joes.
A healthy fear of failure … is just that.
I think the better take away from the dating analogy … is not that we should "disregard" our fears of failure … and throw caution in the wind ... but rather … we should be mindful not to allow our natural fear of failure to deter us from taking "well calculated" risks.
If the upside is high … and the downside is low … go for it.
Ask as many girls out on a date as you please.
Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.
But if the downside is high … like robbing a bank … or investing your life savings in some untested idea ... you’d better seriously think twice.
Granted … these are two extreme examples.
Most entrepreneurial ventures fall somewhere in between.
So when people declare … throw your Fear of Failure into the wind … and go for it … without any reference to what “it” is … I have to roll my eyes a bit.
A healthy fear of failure is good.
An inability to distinguish good risks from bad … is what’s not.
One guy tries and fails … again … and again … and again … until finally … he succeeds … and lands a date.
Guy number two (in the meantime) … leans up against a wall … afraid to ask anyone out on a date … and as a result … goes home by himself.
The moral of the story …?
You can’t win if you don’t try … which is true.
Followed by … don’t let a fear of failure hold you back.
And that’s where I have a problem with the analogy.
You see … in the common example above … what did the first guy lose … each time he failed …?
Nothing.
Sure … maybe his ego was a little bruised … or perhaps … he experienced a moment of fleeting disappointment … but the reality is … he lost nothing of any real consequence.
So he takes one "free shot" and the apple … again and again … until he succeeds.
Big deal.
But the real world doesn’t work that way … not in most situations, at least.
Let me ask you a question.
Why don’t you rob a bank …?
Robbing a bank is Fastlane …right …?
There’s a lot of money in that vault … right …?
I’ll tell you what holds you back … the Fear of Failure.
The fear of what happens … if you try … and fail.
Because we all know what happens if you try to rob a bank and fail … right …?
Or if you borrow money from the mafia … and show up one year later empty handed ...?
Or invest your life savings … or blow a substantial inheritance … on some whacky idea you “just knew” was going to be a winner.
You suffer consequences.
Serious consequences.
The Fear of Failure … is a biological survival mechanism.
It’s the reason you don’t wrestle with a wild Grizzly Bear ... trying to snatch the fish out of its mouth.
Because people who try to do that … don’t live long enough to reproduce.
Darwin does a good job of weeding those nut bags out.
For every David Crockett ... there are 99 ... dead ... Crazy Eyed Joes.
A healthy fear of failure … is just that.
I think the better take away from the dating analogy … is not that we should "disregard" our fears of failure … and throw caution in the wind ... but rather … we should be mindful not to allow our natural fear of failure to deter us from taking "well calculated" risks.
If the upside is high … and the downside is low … go for it.
Ask as many girls out on a date as you please.
Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.
But if the downside is high … like robbing a bank … or investing your life savings in some untested idea ... you’d better seriously think twice.
Granted … these are two extreme examples.
Most entrepreneurial ventures fall somewhere in between.
So when people declare … throw your Fear of Failure into the wind … and go for it … without any reference to what “it” is … I have to roll my eyes a bit.
A healthy fear of failure is good.
An inability to distinguish good risks from bad … is what’s not.
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