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Every time I do this, I fail. And so will you.

Discussion in 'Lessons from Success/Failure' started by Guts, Mar 16, 2019.

  1. Guts
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    Guts Contributor

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    Hello guys. I wanted to mention something about my experiences in life that are applicable for business and day to day life. Every time I doubted myself, I found myself doing worse. I gave myself a reason to fail. It's like just the idea of me doubting myself made me lose my confidence. And without confidence, there is no execution. You see, fear only helps me survive. But it never let me live. I never lived my full potential because I was afraid of failure, afraid of losing my comfortable life that is not really comfortable to begin with. The next time I act, I will embrace failure for it is nothing more than a lesson that is supposed to be taught. I will think of the actions I want to do, but no longer will doubt encumber my confidence.

    2.jpg
     
  2. Jon Rad
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    Jon Rad Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    I also noticed this
    What kind of helps me is saying "F*ck you" to myself everytime i begin to doubt myself.

    this kind of Aggression is what helps me through many situations.
    its important to note that im not hating on myself, im basically cursing loud in my head and just Attack !

    a Simple "Lets go" or smth simular can also fire you up i guess haha.
     
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  3. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3-CpzZJl8w



    *Tries to life the X-Wing out of the swamp using the force. Luke struggles and the X-Wing crashes back into the swamp.
    Luke: We're never going to get out of here R2.
    *Yoda notices a defeated look on Luke's face. Yoda then gets the X-Wing out of the swamp using the Force.
    Luke(in awe): I don't believe this!
    Yoda: That is why you fail.
    *Star Wars force theme song begins to play...
     
  4. RazorCut
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    RazorCut Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Very true. Fear goes hand in hand with limiting beliefs and glass ceilings.

    The quote often attributed to Henry Ford of "Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right" is a powerful reminder of the importance of mindset.

    A lot of the doubt is caused by fear of failure itself.

    I posted this some years back:

    Failure is a step forward not backwards.
     
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  5. NMdad
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    NMdad Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Doubt is poison. It sabotages us by preventing action. Action is the antidote. Action--and its results--show us the way forward.
     
  6. Anakalypsi
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    Anakalypsi Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    It is fascinating for me that as adults, at least as far as I can tell, most of us have to rediscover that.

    As children, we were much less afraid of failure. Or otherwise, we never would have learned to walk after failing at the begin. And so on.

    Somewhere in our growing somewhere happens where we might have to rediscover that intrinsic "don't give a f*ck about failing" we had as children. And then grab a hold on it and never lose it again.

    At least this is something that happened in my own life.

    I came back to a point where I was as a child were I do things that I know there is a very high chance they might fail but I still do them. Since the worst things that can happen is usually either I wasted time, got laughed on or had to retry in another way.

    In short, nothing terrible. But that's was often enough for me in the past to restrict my actions.

    The only thing left to say is, let's keep on failing forward until we die.
     
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  7. Fersko
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    There is definitely a truth in that.

    You have to get out of your comfort-zone to accomplish things...
     
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  8. Sego
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    Sego New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    Fake it until you become it.

    That's what I've learned from Amy Cuddy's book "Presence". In short, pretend you are what you want to be, practice being what you want to be and ultimately you will become this person.

    If you tend to constantly doubt yourself, pretend you are the best at what you are doing and just fake-act the same way as this successful person would. That can apply to various situations. For me it was to overcome my fear at public speaking and getting better at it.

    And also observe other people. You will see that nobody is 100% confident in what they are doing. NOBODY. You may not see it because people may FAKE confidence but everybody at some point felt that they were "not enough" to do something. We all have self-doubt. It's just a matter of overcoming it and making it a smaller voice in your mind than it is today. You will get there :)
     
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  9. Guts
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    Guts Contributor

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    I do believe that technique works as well, but if you ask me personally I think it's more effective to actually believe in your confidence because if you fail and you're faking it, it's gonna bite you back in the a$$ subconsciously.
     
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  10. jpanarra
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    jpanarra Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    For sure, this is a weird thing we do to ourselves.

    Every time i catch myself overwhelming my mind with a large vision I have to step back and go "why are you doing this"

    After that moment, I'm starting to realize that is when my idea gets away from me and I need to go back to the drawing board and set up a clear and consise plan of what to do for the next 5 hours,day, week, month, quarter and I stop when I feel like I can handle it
     
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  11. Ksalazar
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    Ksalazar Contributor

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    Deep and 100% True
     
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  12. rynor
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    rynor Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    Excellent post. I had a conversation with a mentor yesterday that made me doubt myself which only buried my confidence more. And on that note, time to work on the execution part and defeat the doubt.
     
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  13. Vanderbilt
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    Vanderbilt Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    that is really true, so guys tell me how you deal with failure?do you just repress those bad emotions or what you do?
     
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  14. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    [​IMG]
    Always be like Batman. Always.
     
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  15. Guts
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    Guts Contributor

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    How do I deal with failure? Well, there's nothing to be dealt with honestly. When I fail that just means I shouldn't do what I did again because obviously it didn't work. Depends on how you view things. When you fail, do you just forget about it and move on, or do you try to learn from your failure and use that failure as information for the next time you attempt it. That's how martial artists get better. They land a punch, break their hand, and realize F*ck maybe I should have clenched my fist stronger and put my thumb on my fingers rather than inside. So the next time you jab a punch it'll hit stronger and you won't get hurt.
     
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  16. Notlately
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    Notlately New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Very true about doubting yourself. I haven't found the key to overcoming them yet, but I love this line by Shakespeare, it always helps:

    "Our doubts are traitors,
    and make us lose the good we oft might win,
    by fearing to attempt."

    Your doubts are traitors, simple as that.
     
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  17. Michael1359
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    Michael1359 Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Treat yourself like someone you’re responsible for helping. —Dr. Jordan Peterson

    We help ourselves by not giving in to our fear, but by harnessing that fear and using it to drive us forward. Fear can be a motivator, but it takes discipline of the mind and will to utilize it for benefit rather than letting it paralyze us or cause us to act in ways that are less than our best.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
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  18. Mamista
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    Mamista New Contributor

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    What we practice grows stronger.

    If you practice settling to fear, this will only get stronger and when you'll have anxious feelings again, you'll just do what you've practiced: you'll settle for'em (because you've been practicing this reaction OVER and OVER).

    What we practice grows stronger.

    Instead of practicing, "running away from fearful things", we MUST practice "facing our fearful things" OVER and OVER and OVER... in the same way we did with our 1st behavior.

    I love how Jordan Peterson put it like this:

    "You don't get less afraid, you get braver. That's better, because there's plenty of things to be afraid of, but you can get braver."
     
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