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This is something I've been noticing not just recently, but from the start of learning business. A lot of people become willing to lose themselves in order to "fake" their way to success. I want to give you a headsup if you are doing that, or heading towards it and give you a bit of counterbalance and reasons why you don't need to do that.
Bait and Switch
You ever hear of bait and switch? It is a technique of influencing people to accept something they wouldn't in normal circumstances. It is a catch 22 situation where you are given promises of one thing, then forced to make do with another, while you are dealing with the confusion of losing the first.
Its different to the sales technique of bait and hook, which is where you bait with one product or freebie and get them hooked on a good service.
How it seems to happen, is that EVERYONE gets desperate, and because you feel ashamed of your desperation you start looking for ways to mend your social mask, so you adopt behaviours, and even ideologies that are not yours in order to not be shamed. This technique is only convenient however when those being shamed, are apprehensive and willing to shame themselves PRE-emptively, because, consistently shaming a large mass of people is like chasing cats, and exhausts resources.
Shaming yourself is further effective because you will also believe it was your idea or your fault, and allow people to guilt you into further submission by just saying "I didn't say that" "Thats all in your mind" "We are not like that, just you".
The typical response is just confusion, frustration, and a feeling of futility, which ironically is the reason why those applying bait and switch manipulation apply it on you. They don't understand you, they feel futile, unable to handle you, and confused, so they resort to bait and switch on repeat, guilt tripping you to stay.
I want you guys to have a chance at understanding this and understanding it well, because it is THIS technique, that is rampant. MLMs, bad/self interested mentors, amatuers, shoddy coaching services, peer pressure, and even the natural fears of failure you project onto other guys.
Recently I've had a fair few cool people contact me for advice, but the thing is this, their problem isn't advice and they sure as hell don't need me to help them. They fear failure, they need answers to fill that HELLA scary void, and they'll do whatever they can to address that fear. Scan through videos, buy a few products, follow you and talk your talk a bit. And thats ok, thats human, but its also not who they are.
Business, and the world it pulls you into, will make you feel doubtful of yourself.
But if originality and independence are the greatest indicators of success, then you need to have the integrity to not let this journey change who you are.
The only thing that should change, is changing from ineffectively aggressive, to effective and happy.
And from my experiences, there are three things that change
- Generosity and understanding (not thinking the problem is the other guy)
- Not taking sh#t and being capable of handling all fear, chaos, pain and responsibility with integrity
- Not losing yourself (but working hard enough to find the perspective you need to take control of your life)
Do not just think that YOU are expendable in the process of success, because a person without the will to stand up for themselves, has the will for nothing.
You will float down the river, dead in the water, unless YOU choose to align with who you are deep down and don't let this bait and switch cr#p hijack your identity.
Handle the fear
Don't get angry, get generous
Find your perspective
This is all much much harder said than done
But as I see people losing who they are around me, it is a real shame for them and their dreams of success. Don't let the difficulty of business let you lose who you are.
You are better than that, you just have to reach down into that place it still resides, and hold onto it, until you can fight your way back out.
You aren't a failure, and you aren't the only one confused.
Step back up. And don't let all the persuasive surrounds tell you who you are.
Remember why you begun. And don't forget that that choice was made by YOU and you alone.
Bait and Switch
You ever hear of bait and switch? It is a technique of influencing people to accept something they wouldn't in normal circumstances. It is a catch 22 situation where you are given promises of one thing, then forced to make do with another, while you are dealing with the confusion of losing the first.
Its different to the sales technique of bait and hook, which is where you bait with one product or freebie and get them hooked on a good service.
How it seems to happen, is that EVERYONE gets desperate, and because you feel ashamed of your desperation you start looking for ways to mend your social mask, so you adopt behaviours, and even ideologies that are not yours in order to not be shamed. This technique is only convenient however when those being shamed, are apprehensive and willing to shame themselves PRE-emptively, because, consistently shaming a large mass of people is like chasing cats, and exhausts resources.
Shaming yourself is further effective because you will also believe it was your idea or your fault, and allow people to guilt you into further submission by just saying "I didn't say that" "Thats all in your mind" "We are not like that, just you".
The typical response is just confusion, frustration, and a feeling of futility, which ironically is the reason why those applying bait and switch manipulation apply it on you. They don't understand you, they feel futile, unable to handle you, and confused, so they resort to bait and switch on repeat, guilt tripping you to stay.
I want you guys to have a chance at understanding this and understanding it well, because it is THIS technique, that is rampant. MLMs, bad/self interested mentors, amatuers, shoddy coaching services, peer pressure, and even the natural fears of failure you project onto other guys.
Recently I've had a fair few cool people contact me for advice, but the thing is this, their problem isn't advice and they sure as hell don't need me to help them. They fear failure, they need answers to fill that HELLA scary void, and they'll do whatever they can to address that fear. Scan through videos, buy a few products, follow you and talk your talk a bit. And thats ok, thats human, but its also not who they are.
Business, and the world it pulls you into, will make you feel doubtful of yourself.
But if originality and independence are the greatest indicators of success, then you need to have the integrity to not let this journey change who you are.
The only thing that should change, is changing from ineffectively aggressive, to effective and happy.
And from my experiences, there are three things that change
- Generosity and understanding (not thinking the problem is the other guy)
- Not taking sh#t and being capable of handling all fear, chaos, pain and responsibility with integrity
- Not losing yourself (but working hard enough to find the perspective you need to take control of your life)
Do not just think that YOU are expendable in the process of success, because a person without the will to stand up for themselves, has the will for nothing.
You will float down the river, dead in the water, unless YOU choose to align with who you are deep down and don't let this bait and switch cr#p hijack your identity.
Handle the fear
Don't get angry, get generous
Find your perspective
This is all much much harder said than done
But as I see people losing who they are around me, it is a real shame for them and their dreams of success. Don't let the difficulty of business let you lose who you are.
You are better than that, you just have to reach down into that place it still resides, and hold onto it, until you can fight your way back out.
You aren't a failure, and you aren't the only one confused.
Step back up. And don't let all the persuasive surrounds tell you who you are.
Remember why you begun. And don't forget that that choice was made by YOU and you alone.
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