Doctor in engineering lands manager position with 31, gets existential crisis - Blow everything up or continue the silent torture of a mediocre life?

[Filippos]

I came in this Forum back in 2018, when I was working on 2 topics: striving for financial freedom and finding a life partner.

Guess what? I found a life partner and I tricked myself into believing I’m on my path for financial freedom.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy and grateful for the past 5 years, because now I have a beautiful daughter who brings me joy and laughter every day.

I wish my brain didn’t need 5 years though to realize the obvious:

1. I’m dependent on my monthly salary. No matter how many promotions I achieve and no matter how much raise I get, a salary is always going to be based on the amount of time I have to invest to get it and the amount of BS I have to handle.
2. Even if I put some of it on the side, because now I have a very high salary, this money is just enough to handle one emergency. It is still just enough to get 2 vacations a year, provide everything for my daughter and live a comfortable life. But… one heart attack from a family member is enough to get me on my knees again financially.
3. Weird 40 and 50 year olds with less brain than me but with a manager title evaluate me to give me a raise or a promotion although they are not capable to do even half of what I do for them. They evaluate me… as if I was a student in grade school or an iPhone app, where you rate with 3 or 4 out of 5 stars… As if I’m not a person but a number on their scale… I am bound to play the game on their weird rules…
4. Why do I work for these people? I can deal with a lot of business stress… for them. I can deal with meeting very stringent timelines and budget on highly complex engineering tasks… for them. I can motivate personnel to work for my project and give their best… for them. I can get things done fast because I can understand very quickly what is important to achieve the project goal and what not… for them. I can deal with conflicts, sell complex technical ideas on engineering businessmen, solve complex engineering problems… for them. I am grateful that I can gather a lot of experience at solving (their) problems, but I earn only the money they give per hour of work. I am bound to offer my extraordinary skills to them just to get a monthly salary.
5. In many topics, they are even arrogant enough to take false decisions thinking they know better because they are called managers and tell me what I have to do. I am bound to what they say, even if I know that their way is too expensive / takes too much time / will not work. I am bound to do it only because I need the money to provide for my family. I am bound to follow their false plans and go with their slow speed. I have a doctor in engineering, but if I don’t explain my proposal to them in children terms, it’s too complex and too innovative to understand and follow.
6. I see people close to where I live driving a Porsche or a Lamborghini although being at my age (I can afford to rent a nice house on a nice area in the province with its own garden and I am able to lead a good relationship with my wife so that she doesn’t follow the conventional dream to buy a house no matter what the circumstances…). This infuriates me! I feel so furious when I see them that I want to start shouting on the top of my lungs. They know something I don’t and they are on the same age as me! I have lost so much sweat, but still didn’t get as good as they did! What the bell is it????

I am grateful and proud of everything I have achieved. I have reached all the goals I have set until now, but every day of my mediocre life is shouting at me that I have set the wrong goals.

It is time for me to become a student again, but this time not to the authorities the society told me to, but a student to people like you guys in this forum who are actually free. A student to the guys with the Porsche (unless they are some criminals lol) living nearby.

It is time for me to offer my skills and my gifts to something that matters, not some company which is too slow to keep up with me or too immoral to do anything good for humanity.

I have energy inside me that cannot let me sit and watch my mediocre life go by. I cannot help it but work more, read more, learn more, do more. This time I’ll direct all of this power to the right direction.

 

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[Happyheart]

I came in this Forum back in 2018, when I was working on 2 topics: striving for financial freedom and finding a life partner.

Guess what? I found a life partner and I tricked myself into believing I’m on my path for financial freedom.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy and grateful for the past 5 years, because now I have a beautiful daughter who brings me joy and laughter every day.

I wish my brain didn’t need 5 years though to realize the obvious:

1. I’m dependent on my monthly salary. No matter how many promotions I achieve and no matter how much raise I get, a salary is always going to be based on the amount of time I have to invest to get it and the amount of BS I have to handle.
2. Even if I put some of it on the side, because now I have a very high salary, this money is just enough to handle one emergency. It is still just enough to get 2 vacations a year, provide everything for my daughter and live a comfortable life. But… one heart attack from a family member is enough to get me on my knees again financially.
3. Weird 40 and 50 year olds with less brain than me but with a manager title evaluate me to give me a raise or a promotion although they are not capable to do even half of what I do for them. They evaluate me… as if I was a student in grade school or an iPhone app, where you rate with 3 or 4 out of 5 stars… As if I’m not a person but a number on their scale… I am bound to play the game on their weird rules…
4. Why do I work for these people? I can deal with a lot of business stress… for them. I can deal with meeting very stringent timelines and budget on highly complex engineering tasks… for them. I can motivate personnel to work for my project and give their best… for them. I can get things done fast because I can understand very quickly what is important to achieve the project goal and what not… for them. I can deal with conflicts, sell complex technical ideas on engineering businessmen, solve complex engineering problems… for them. I am grateful that I can gather a lot of experience at solving (their) problems, but I earn only the money they give per hour of work. I am bound to offer my extraordinary skills to them just to get a monthly salary.
5. In many topics, they are even arrogant enough to take false decisions thinking they know better because they are called managers and tell me what I have to do. I am bound to what they say, even if I know that their way is too expensive / takes too much time / will not work. I am bound to do it only because I need the money to provide for my family. I am bound to follow their false plans and go with their slow speed. I have a doctor in engineering, but if I don’t explain my proposal to them in children terms, it’s too complex and too innovative to understand and follow.
6. I see people close to where I live driving a Porsche or a Lamborghini although being at my age (I can afford to rent a nice house on a nice area in the province with its own garden and I am able to lead a good relationship with my wife so that she doesn’t follow the conventional dream to buy a house no matter what the circumstances…). This infuriates me! I feel so furious when I see them that I want to start shouting on the top of my lungs. They know something I don’t and they are on the same age as me! I have lost so much sweat, but still didn’t get as good as they did! What the bell is it????

I am grateful and proud of everything I have achieved. I have reached all the goals I have set until now, but every day of my mediocre life is shouting at me that I have set the wrong goals.

It is time for me to become a student again, but this time not to the authorities the society told me to, but a student to people like you guys in this forum who are actually free. A student to the guys with the Porsche (unless they are some criminals lol) living nearby.

It is time for me to offer my skills and my gifts to something that matters, not some company which is too slow to keep up with me or too immoral to do anything good for humanity.

I have energy inside me that cannot let me sit and watch my mediocre life go by. I cannot help it but work more, read more, learn more, do more. This time I’ll direct all of this power to the right direction.

It sounds like it is time you start working for yourself. Begin a side project and see where it goes.

 

[Mikkel]

Welcome back to the Fastlane. It sounds like you need a side hustle turned fastlane. If you are good at engineering, why don't you invent something of value. You could even pair up with someone who is good on the business side of things and you two can build a solid business where you are creating some awesome products and he is selling.

Leverage your skills and go Fastlane.

 

[WJK]

I came in this Forum back in 2018, when I was working on 2 topics: striving for financial freedom and finding a life partner.

Guess what? I found a life partner and I tricked myself into believing I’m on my path for financial freedom.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy and grateful for the past 5 years, because now I have a beautiful daughter who brings me joy and laughter every day.

I wish my brain didn’t need 5 years though to realize the obvious:

1. I’m dependent on my monthly salary. No matter how many promotions I achieve and no matter how much raise I get, a salary is always going to be based on the amount of time I have to invest to get it and the amount of BS I have to handle.
2. Even if I put some of it on the side, because now I have a very high salary, this money is just enough to handle one emergency. It is still just enough to get 2 vacations a year, provide everything for my daughter and live a comfortable life. But… one heart attack from a family member is enough to get me on my knees again financially.
3. Weird 40 and 50 year olds with less brain than me but with a manager title evaluate me to give me a raise or a promotion although they are not capable to do even half of what I do for them. They evaluate me… as if I was a student in grade school or an iPhone app, where you rate with 3 or 4 out of 5 stars… As if I’m not a person but a number on their scale… I am bound to play the game on their weird rules…
4. Why do I work for these people? I can deal with a lot of business stress… for them. I can deal with meeting very stringent timelines and budget on highly complex engineering tasks… for them. I can motivate personnel to work for my project and give their best… for them. I can get things done fast because I can understand very quickly what is important to achieve the project goal and what not… for them. I can deal with conflicts, sell complex technical ideas on engineering businessmen, solve complex engineering problems… for them. I am grateful that I can gather a lot of experience at solving (their) problems, but I earn only the money they give per hour of work. I am bound to offer my extraordinary skills to them just to get a monthly salary.
5. In many topics, they are even arrogant enough to take false decisions thinking they know better because they are called managers and tell me what I have to do. I am bound to what they say, even if I know that their way is too expensive / takes too much time / will not work. I am bound to do it only because I need the money to provide for my family. I am bound to follow their false plans and go with their slow speed. I have a doctor in engineering, but if I don’t explain my proposal to them in children terms, it’s too complex and too innovative to understand and follow.
6. I see people close to where I live driving a Porsche or a Lamborghini although being at my age (I can afford to rent a nice house on a nice area in the province with its own garden and I am able to lead a good relationship with my wife so that she doesn’t follow the conventional dream to buy a house no matter what the circumstances…). This infuriates me! I feel so furious when I see them that I want to start shouting on the top of my lungs. They know something I don’t and they are on the same age as me! I have lost so much sweat, but still didn’t get as good as they did! What the bell is it????

I am grateful and proud of everything I have achieved. I have reached all the goals I have set until now, but every day of my mediocre life is shouting at me that I have set the wrong goals.

It is time for me to become a student again, but this time not to the authorities the society told me to, but a student to people like you guys in this forum who are actually free. A student to the guys with the Porsche (unless they are some criminals lol) living nearby.

It is time for me to offer my skills and my gifts to something that matters, not some company which is too slow to keep up with me or too immoral to do anything good for humanity.

I have energy inside me that cannot let me sit and watch my mediocre life go by. I cannot help it but work more, read more, learn more, do more. This time I’ll direct all of this power to the right direction.

So, you think you are ready for change. The answers are inside you. Here's a way to get them out::

Every night before you go to sleep, ask your mind to work on a plan for you while you sleep. Ask for ideas and direction. Put a pad and pencil next to your bed and go to sleep. When you wake up, immediately write down every thought that comes to mind. Your mind may wake you up in the middle of the night. Be open to anything that comes to you no matter how silly or unrelated they seem. Even a single word can develop into a great idea. Then carry that pad and pencil around with you adding details, questions, or notes as your day develops. Keep your pad close to you every moment. You may have your best idea in the shower or while you are eating lunch. Make notes on what information and research you need to do and follow up on those gaps. Don't force the process. Just let it flow, combine, and mature. You will find that the ideas morph over time like a shape changer. They gain a life of their own. You will be amazed.

 

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