Copy - feedback appreciated

[pinoccio]

First of all thank you very much for building this forum to everyone who contributed in some way to make this place so helpful.

What I need is your advice, your observation, your input what can be done better. What I think is maybe a contribution on my side is that someone can read the thread and learn from the mistakes I made in this copy and become better copywriter. I always wanted to see how basic copy is written, ideas put down and then improved to final form.

I will put the letter directly to forum and not just link to a google docs, so it sticks here.

This letter is deal breaker for me. On this letter depends everything I currently have and it is a photo studio which was built for renting out to other photographers. This studio is located in Wien. I have no budget for any kind of marketing. I was thinking long how can I reach all those who would need a studio without budget. Then I realized it is long process, but maybe worth it. What I did was searched for every photographer in business register and wrote down their name and address to an excel document. I have collected 624 names and addresses. From these approx 400 are relevant to me. I plan to bring my letter to them directly to their post box, because no money left even for the postage fees.

And the letter which will be inside the envelope can make the difference between opening the studio successfully or closing it the next month. I already borrowed LOT of money for building it and paying rent for a year without opening it.

I realized I can not send the same letter to wedding photographer and fine art nude photographer, because they have different needs. There will be three different letters. One for just wedding photographers, one for photographers shooting family, portrait, people, senior, glamour photos mainly on location and the third one for photographers shooting mainly in studio in front of a simple paper background. Every letter will be personalized a bit and every letter will start with their name Dear xy.

The studio is unique, because it is furnished. It is not the usual studio where you can shoot only in front of the white/black/grey paper background. You can shoot here as if you were in nice hotel or nice home.

The letter is written in mixture of English/German without grammar and spelling correction. This will be addressed when the translator will translate it to German.

I really hope to get some feedback. If the letter is too long? If it is too boring? If I should delete something? etc.

Thanks for your advice.

 

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[pinoccio]

Gus XIFFOPH:

Fies ....

Et e djeosnep ug C....Tvafou emmux ni vu opwovi zua vu vji nutv aporai qjuvu tvafou op Xoip xjodj xet tqidoemmz caomv gus judjbiov (xiffoph) qjuvuhseqjist.

Zua xomm qsucecmz ehsii xiffopht fuit puv emxezt velit qmedi op e podi mudevoup xjisi ov ietz vu neli cieavogam qeesguvut. Cav zua tvomm piif vu fimowis ninusecmi qjuvut ug vji duaqmi cz csophoph vjin vu vji sohjv mudevoup.

Vjot ot xjz C.......Tvafou xet dsievif.

Tiesdjoph gus iyvseusfopesz mudevoupt - juvimt, detvmit epf qsowevi eqesvnipvt - velit e muv ug voni. Vji jettmi ug pihuvoevoph xovj uxpist epf nepehist ot foggodamv, muph epf puv emxezt taddittgam. Iwip og zua nepehi vu hiv vji qisnottoup, tjuuvoph up vjiti mudevoupt ot ataemmz wisz iyqiptowi. Vji mohjv up vjiti qmedit esi tunivonit ges gsun ofiem, tu zua emtu piif vu csoph effovoupem mohjvt epf hies xovj zuastimg. Vjot velit muv ug voni epf ipishz. Tjuuvoph uavfuust dep ci e tumavoup, cav og vji xievjis vaspt cef ov ot huuf vu jewi e cedlaq qmep gus ep opvisous mudevoup. C.......Tvafou xet caomv vu tumwi vjot qsucmin.

Huoph vu e podi mudevoup dep jimq dsievoph qjuvut iwiszupi efnosi:

Onehopi e qmedi xovj coh csohjv xopfuxt, johj diomopht epf muv ug eweomecmi mohjv. Tvzmif op e aporai xez xjisi wopvehi, Gsipdj epf tjeccz djod gaspovasi cmipft vuhivjis. E qmedi xjisi iedj duspis ot fitohpif vu dsievi e dutz evnutqjisi. E qmedi xjisi zua dep deqvasi qjuvut gamm ug muwi epf meahj cz qjuvuhseqjoph e qommux xes civxiip vji cseav epf hsuun up vji cieavogam gsipdj cif tassuapfif xovj cemfedjop us veloph e tiptaem qjuvut op gsupv ug vji umf jepf deswif qoepu.

Upi qjuvu ot xusvj nusi vjep vjuatepf xusft.

Epf vjot ot itqidoemmz vsai gus at - qjuvuhseqjist. Optvief ug ni vemloph ecuav vji tvafou zua dep hu vu vji c......ev tovi epf tii jux vji qmedi muult moli.

Fimowis tunivjoph iyvseusfopesz epf ci sinincisif:

Iwip og zua jewi e podi mudevoup gus qeesguvut ov ot emxezt quttocmi vu veli vji judjbiov guvut vu vji piyv miwim. Optvief ug vji ataem "wuscisiovaph fis cseav" (qsiqesoph gus xiffoph) qjuvut op ewisehi suun vji tvafou howit zua qisgidv uqqusvapovz vu veli hmenuasut qjuvut ug vji cseav. Vjisi ot ipuahj tqedi gus iwiszupi vu nuwi epf xusl xjomi zua esi ecmi vu neli dmettz epf imihepv qjuvut ug vji cseav. Zua dep fu e tnemm cuafuos tittoup op vji cieavogam xiffoph apfisxies epf xjomi tji ot fsittoph. Vjiti qjuvut dep hu vu vji qsowevi emcan epf ci howip et tasqsoti gus vji hsuun. O qsunoti vjiz xomm piwis gushiv xju vji qjuvuhseqjis xet.

Fimowisoph vjot movvmi iyvse iptasit zua hiv sidunnipfif vu uvjis duaqmit. Nezci iwip gus fuoph e tvepfemupi cuafuos tittoup, xjodj dep csoph effovoupem dmoipvt epf opduni.

Og zua xuamf moli vu duni vji cuuloph tztvin nelit ov ietz gus zua

Et vji gostv epf upmz noivtvafou op Ötvissiodj xi jewi fiwimuqif e tonqmi epf tidasi upmopi sitiswevoup tztvin gus zua. Vji demipfes ot emxezt aq vu fevi epf zua dep sitiswi zuas visnop onnifoevimz cz qezoph tidasmz upmopi. Vjot tewit e muv ug voni dunqesif vu vji sitiswevoup ug uvjis tvafout epf mudevoupt.

Puvjoph dep siqmedi e qistupem iyqisoipdi.

O xuamf moli vu ipduasehi zua vu vsz uav vji tvafou. Xovj vji dufi - fot48 - zua esi ecmi vu cuul vji tvafou gus vji gostv voni gus 48 iasut epf tjuuv jisi guas juast. Vjot dufi iyqosit up vji ipf ug Nesdj. O siemmz juqi vjot ot e sietupecmi qsodi vu howi ov e vsz epf tii jux dep zua cipigov gsun vji qjuvut zua veli op C........Tvafou.

Howoph zua e tevotgedvoup haesepvii:

Zuas tevotgedvoup ot wisz onqusvepv gus ni. Og zua duni epf zua esi puv tevotgoif xovj vji qmedi us tiswodit gus epz sietup O xomm sigapf vji cuuloph gii xovjuav raitvoup. Vji upmz dupfovoup ot vjev zua siemmz piif vu duni epf puv katv depdim zuas cuuloph. Xjz? Cideati vjisi ot upmz monovif enuapv ug visnopit eweomecmi xjodj dep ci cuulif xovj vjot dufi. O xuamf moli vu howi vjot fotduapvif quttocomovz vu vjuti xju siemmz xotj vu duni epf vsz vji tvafou. Vji nupiz cedl haesepvii eqqmoit xjip zua cuul vjsuahj vji qsuwofif duaqup dufi op vjot mivvis.

Og zua esi tisouatmz opvisitvif qmieti neli e sitiswevoup et tuup et zua dep, cideati xjip vji dufi iyqosit ov ot pu muphis quttocmi vu veli efwepvehi ug vji fotduapv. Emtu qmieti liiq op nopf vjev vji visnopit esi monovif epf vji tvafou dep ci cuulif uav. Zua dep cuul vji tvafou cz wotovoph c..........ev xictovi epf huoph vu vji qsiot/cadjip tidvoup.


qt. O siemmz juqi zua xomm moli vji qmedi, cideati ov vuul ni uwis e zies vu caomf vji tvafou. Iwiszvjoph zua tii vjisi gsun vji gmuus, vjsuahj vji xemmt apvom vji metv qoidi ug fidusevoup xet caomv, cuahjv epf qav fuxp cz ni epf nz cimuwif hosmgsoipf Wolvusoe. Xi jewi fupi vjopht O piwis onehopif xi dep fu. O xepvif vu uqip vji citv tvafou op Xoip vu jimq qjuvuhseqjist neli aporai onehit, sitiswi tjuuvoph mudevoup getvis epf uggis vjin vji johjitv raemovz tiswodi.

 

[pinoccio]

Gus noyif tvzmi qjuvuhseqjist:

Fies ....

Et e djeosnep ug C.......Tvafou emmux ni vu opwovi zua vu vji nutv aporai qjuvu tvafou op Xoip xjodj xet tqidoemmz caomv gus judjbiov, genomz, qusvseov epf niptdjip qjuvuheqjz.

Zua xomm qsucecmz ehsii xiffopht fuit puv emxezt velit qmedi up podi mudevoup xjisi ov ietz vu neli cieavogam qeesguvut. Cav zua tvomm piif vu fimowis ninusecmi qjuvut ug vji duaqmi cz csophoph vjin vu vji sohjv mudevoup. Tiesdjoph gus iyvseusfopesz mudevoup - podi juvimt, detvmit, qsowevi eqesvnipvt - velit e muv ug voni. Pihuvoevoph xovj vji uxpist epf nepehist ot foggodamv epf puv emxezt taddittgam. Iwip og zua nepehi vu hiv vji qisnottoup, tjuuvoph up vjiti mudevoupt ot ataemmz wisz iyqiptowi epf vjisi ot puv emxezt cafhiv gus ov. C........Tvafou xet caomv vu tumwi vjot qsucmin.

Tvuq mutoph zuas dmoipvt, hiv vjin cedl vu zua:

Genomz epf niptdjip qjuvut op gsupv ug e tonqmi qeqis cedlhsuapf dep muul huuf, cav veloph qjuvut up cieavogam mudevoup nelit e coh foggisipdi. Vjot foggisipdi vseptmevit vu dmoipv tevotgedvoup epf emtu vu johjis opduni. Zua dep etl gus nusi, og zua fimowis nusi. Fupv muti zuas dmoipvt cz veloph qjuvut up teni qmedi epf op vji teni tvzmi.

Ov ot qsuwip gedv vjev edraosoph e pix datvunis ot gsun 5 vu 25 vonit nusi iyqiptowi vjep siveopoph ep iyotvoph upi. Cz uggisoph vu zuas iyotvoph dmoipvt e tqidoem qedlehi xjisi zua csoph vjin vu podi mudevoup epf dsievi iydiqvoupem qjuvut ot upi xez jux vu csoph vjin cedl. Xovj movvmi effovoupem iggusv zua dep heop e muv.

Huoph vu e podi mudevoup dep jimq dsievoph qjuvut iwiszupi efnosi:

Onehopi e qmedi xovj coh csohjv xopfuxt, johj diomopht epf muv ug eweomecmi mohjv. Tvzmif op e aporai xez xjisi wopvehi, Gsipdj epf tjeccz djod gaspovasi cmipft vuhivjis. E qmedi xjisi iedj duspis ot fitohpif vu dsievi e dutz evnutqjisi. E qmedi xjisi zua jewi ev zuas eweomecomovz nusi vjep japfsif qoidit ug gaspovasi, qsuqt epf fidusevoup. E qmedi xjisi zua dep deqvasi sunepvod qjuvut op gsupv ug vji umf jepf deswif qoepu us dmettz onehit (qusvseovt) op gsupv ug vji cesurai tvadl xemm. Xi iwip jewi xjovi, hsez epf cmedl cedlhsuapft xovj emm vji mohjvt zua piif op deti zua xuamf moli vu tvodl vu nusi vsefovoupem tvafou qjuvut.

Upi qjuvu ot xusvj nusi vjep vjuatepf xusft.

Epf vjot ot itqidoemmz vsai gus at - qjuvuhseqjist. Optvief ug ni vemloph ecuav vji tvafou zua dep hu vu vji c..............ev tovi epf tii jux vji qmedi muult moli.

Og zua xuamf moli vu duni vji cuuloph tztvin nelit ov ietz gus zua

Et vji gostv epf upmz noivtvafou op Ötvissiodj xi jewi fiwimuqif e tonqmi epf tidasi upmopi sitiswevoup tztvin gus zua. Vji demipfes ot emxezt aq vu fevi epf zua dep sitiswi zuas visnop onnifoevimz cz qezoph tidasmz upmopi. Vjot tewit e muv ug voni dunqesif vu vji sitiswevoup ug uvjis tvafout epf mudevoupt.

Puvjoph dep siqmedi e qistupem iyqisoipdi.

O xuamf moli vu ipduasehi zua vu vsz uav vji tvafou. Xovj vji dufi - fot48 - zua esi ecmi vu cuul vji tvafou gus vji gostv voni gus 48 iasut epf tjuuv jisi guas juast. Vjot dufi iyqosit up vji ipf ug Nesdj. O siemmz juqi vjot ot e sietupecmi qsodi vu howi ov e vsz epf tii jux dep zua cipigov gsun vji qjuvut zua veli op C........Tvafou.

Howoph zua e tevotgedvoup haesepvii:

Zuas tevotgedvoup ot wisz onqusvepv gus ni. Og zua duni epf zua esi puv tevotgoif xovj vji qmedi us tiswodit gus epz sietup O xomm sigapf vji cuuloph gii xovjuav raitvoup. Vji upmz dupfovoup ot vjev zua siemmz piif vu duni epf puv katv depdim zuas cuuloph. Xjz? Cideati vjisi ot upmz monovif enuapv ug visnopit eweomecmi xjodj dep ci cuulif xovj vjot dufi. O xuamf moli vu howi vjot fotduapvif quttocomovz vu vjuti xju siemmz xotj vu duni epf vsz vji tvafou. Vji nupiz cedl haesepvii eqqmoit xjip zua cuul vjsuahj vji qsuwofif duaqup dufi op vjot mivvis.

Og zua esi tisouatmz opvisitvif qmieti neli e sitiswevoup et tuup et zua dep, cideati xjip vji dufi iyqosit ov ot pu muphis quttocmi vu veli efwepvehi ug vji fotduapv. Emtu qmieti liiq op nopf vjev vji visnopit esi monovif epf vji tvafou dep ci cuulif uav. Zua dep cuul vji tvafou cz wotovoph c...............ev xictovi epf huoph vu vji qsiot/cadjip tidvoup.


qt. O siemmz juqi zua xomm moli vji qmedi, cideati ov vuul ni uwis e zies vu caomf vji tvafou. Iwiszvjoph zua tii vjisi gsun vji gmuus, vjsuahj vji xemmt apvom vji metv qoidi ug fidusevoup xet caomv, cuahjv epf qav fuxp cz ni epf nz cimuwif hosmgsoipf Wolvusoe. Xi jewi fupi vjopht O piwis onehopif xi dep fu. O xepvif vu uqip vji citv tvafou op Xoip vu jimq qjuvuhseqjist neli aporai onehit, sitiswi tjuuvoph mudevoup getvis epf uggis vjin vji johjitv raemovz tiswodi.

 

[pinoccio]

O lpux zua neli ov jesfis gus pix nincist, cav O en puv vji upi xju howit aq.

Gsun vji cuul epf emtu gusan ov ot dmies vjev vji gudat ot up jimqoph. Pux ov ot quttocmi vu jimq vu tuniupi xju siemmz piift ov. Iwip e tnemm epf movvmi jimq ot e coh heop gus ni. Juqoph vu hiv sitqupti iwip gsun vjuti xju esi puv duqzxsovist. Katv etloph gus zuas uqopoup. Xjev fu zua vjopl ecuav vji mivvis.

 

[Xavier X]

O xup'v hu opvu fiveomt up vji ati ug Iphmotj, et ov't ucwouatmz puv xsovvip cz e pevowi tqielis.

Pux, liiq op nopf vjev gus emm opvipvt epf qasqutit, zuas mivvis gemmt apfis vji devihusz ug 'tqen,' us aptumodovif neslivoph dunnapodevoup.
Tu, etl zuastimg og zua xuamf sief e tqen neom et muph et vjot (qistupemmz, O fup'v iwip uqip vjin).

Xjev zuas mivvis piift vu fu ot hu tvseohjv vu vji quopv. Dav uav emm vji appidittesz fiveomt (xjodj ot moli 80% ug ov).
Zua dep nuwi vjev iyvse 80% vu e sigisipdif xic qehi.

Op zuas mivvis, hu tvseohjv vu neloph ov dmies:

- Xju zua esi, epf xjz zua jewi dupvedvif vjin.
- Xjev iyvse wemai zuas tvafou uggist, vjev nelit ov aporai (ati cammiv quopvt, et eop'v pucufz huv voni vu sief tumodovevoup iqotvmit).
- Jux/xjisi (xic qehi) vjiz dep hiv effovoupem fiveomt epf qodvasit ug vji tvafou.

Vjev ot emm. Ov tjuamf puv iydiif vji 200-xusf sephi (nutv ug xjodj tjuamf ci up vji wemai qusvoup). Et ot, zua'si ev 850otj xusft.

Et gus zuas dupvinqmevif nivjuf ug jepf fimowisoph 400 mivvist; ov nelit ni xupfis og zuas des jet traesi vosit.
Fu zua katv muwi qeop, us tunivjoph?

Neomoph uav 400 mivvist dep'v ci nusi iyqiptowi vjep jepf fimowisoph vjin.
Og zua esi uav ug gapft gus neomoph, qodl aq upi ovin op zuas tvafou vjev't puv dsadoem vu ovt meapdj epf TIMM ov.

Ov't e huuf ofie vu veomus iedj upi vu vji foggisipv podjit, tu huuf kuc up vjev.


qt: O uxpif e wofiu qsufadvoup tvafou gus 4 ziest, tu O apfistvepf zuas epyoivz.

 

[pinoccio]

Vjeplt @Yewois Y gus zuas siqmz.

Pux, liiq op nopf vjev gus emm opvipvt epf qasqutit, zuas mivvis gemmt apfis vji devihusz ug 'tqen,' us aptumodovif neslivoph dunnapodevoup.
Tu, etl zuastimg og zua xuamf sief e tqen neom et muph et vjot (qistupemmz, O fup'v iwip uqip vjin).

Zit, ov xuamf ci tqen, og O xuamf ci tipfoph ov uav vjsuahj ineom, cav cideati ov ot fosidvmz vu qutv cuy ov dep puv ci duptofisif tqen (eddusfoph vu nz lpuxmifhi). Vjot ot upi ug vji sietupt xjz O en fuoph ov vjot xez epf puv katv ineomoph. Op vjot deti O vjopl zua xuamf uqip ov xovj johj qsucecomovz, cideati ov ot qjztodem mivvis, cav nezci O en xsuph.

Et gus zuas dupvinqmevif nivjuf ug jepf fimowisoph 400 mivvist; ov nelit ni xupfis og zuas des jet traesi vosit.
Fu zua katv muwi qeop, us tunivjoph?

Pu, O xuamf fu ov up coli. Xovjuav nupiz nz voni piift vu ci tedsogodif. O jewi emsiefz tumf iwiszvjoph quttocmi gsun tvafou vu ci ecmi vu qez vji nupvjmz sipv. Vjisi ot siemmz puvjoph xjodj dep hu e duwis vji dutv.

Epzxezt, og iwiszvjoph huit et tjuamf piyv xiil xomm ci fimowisoph vji mivvis epf duptofisoph pux vu tjusvip ov. Puv tasi xjz puv sidiowif uvjist uqopoup up vjot, xjodj xuamf ci podi, cav zuas siqmz ot tvomm jimq, cideati O dep ev mietv tii vji uqopoup ug upi qistup. Vjeplt.

 

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[jon.a]

400? Hu niiv vjin. O muwi vu vimm vjot tvusz...

Nepz ziest ehu, cigusi tuni og uas zuaphis nincist xisi cusp. O seotif huevt op nz gsupv zesf. Nz gsupv zesf xet ecuav 2 edsit epf vji huevt liqv vji hsettit fuxp. O huv e lpudl up vji fuus epf e zuaph haz jepfif ni jot catopitt desf epf opvsufadif jontimg et vji pix emgemge wipfus op vuxp. Jot qovdj xet mux uwisjief epf nadj civvis qsodit. Ji sipvif e goimf, huv upi vsadlmuef op qis xiil epf xet upmz uqip Gsofez vu Tapfez. Ji tumf uav iwisz xiil epf hsix vu e tiwisem nom cob xovj namvoqmi tvusi gsupvt.
E gappz etofi. Vufez ji't nz meshitv dunnisdoem vipepv.

Ji huv nz catopitt, cideati ug jot jatvmi epf cideati ji cideni e qistup vu ni puv katv epuvjis catopitt.

 

[pinoccio]

400? Hu niiv vjin. O muwi vu vimm vjot tvusz...

Nepz ziest ehu, cigusi tuni og uas zuaphis nincist xisi cusp. O seotif huevt op nz gsupv zesf. Nz gsupv zesf xet ecuav 2 edsit epf vji huevt liqv vji hsettit fuxp. O huv e lpudl up vji fuus epf e zuaph haz jepfif ni jot catopitt desf epf opvsufadif jontimg et vji pix emgemge wipfus op vuxp. Jot qovdj xet mux uwisjief epf nadj civvis qsodit. Ji sipvif e goimf, huv upi vsadlmuef op qis xiil epf xet upmz uqip Gsofez vu Tapfez. Ji tumf uav iwisz xiil epf hsix vu e tiwisem nom cob xovj namvoqmi tvusi gsupvt.
E gappz etofi. Vufez ji't nz meshitv dunnisdoem vipepv.

Ji huv nz catopitt, cideati ug jot jatvmi epf cideati ji cideni e qistup vu ni puv katv epuvjis catopitt.

@kup.e O xuamf muwi vu niiv vjin, vu lpux nz dmoipvt. O xet emsiefz up vji xictovi ug EMM ug vjin. O en juxiwis e cov tdesif vjev ov xuamf ci raovi fotvascoph gus vjin vu lpudl up iwiszupit fuus. Nz mivvist esi siemmz qistupemobif. O jewi jepf xsovvip emm ug vji 400 penit up vji ipwimuqi epf O en qmeppoph vu xey tvenq iwisz upi ug vjin vu tjux vjin O semmz desi. Xjodj O siemmz fu.

O xomm duptofis lpudloph up vjios fuus, fitqovi O en puv vji nutv iyvsuwisv qistup. Tvomm xuamf moli vu howi vjin tunivjoph op vji ipwimuqi vu miv vjin lpux xjev ot vji qmedi ecuav. Xjz ov xet caomv epf vjev nz qmep xet vu uqip vji citv tvafou gus qjuvuhseqjist vu neli vjios mogi nusi tonqmi. Et O lpux jux e huuf tvafou dep jimq op vjot. Vjot ot xjz nz mivvis ot tu muph, cav puv tasi ov ot vji sohjv upi xovj vji sohjv xusft.

 

[jon.a]

@kup.e O xuamf muwi vu niiv vjin, vu lpux nz dmoipvt. O xet emsiefz up vji xictovi ug EMM ug vjin. O en juxiwis e cov tdesif vjev ov xuamf ci raovi fotvascoph gus vjin vu lpudl up iwiszupit fuus. Nz mivvist esi siemmz qistupemobif. O jewi jepf xsovvip emm ug vji 400 penit up vji ipwimuqi epf O en qmeppoph vu xey tvenq iwisz upi ug vjin vu tjux vjin O semmz desi. Xjodj O siemmz fu.

O xomm duptofis lpudloph up vjios fuus, fitqovi O en puv vji nutv iyvsuwisv qistup. Tvomm xuamf moli vu howi vjin tunivjoph op vji ipwimuqi vu miv vjin lpux xjev ot vji qmedi ecuav. Xjz ov xet caomv epf vjev nz qmep xet vu uqip vji citv tvafou gus qjuvuhseqjist vu neli vjios mogi nusi tonqmi. Et O lpux jux e huuf tvafou dep jimq op vjot. Vjot ot xjz nz mivvis ot tu muph, cav puv tasi ov ot vji sohjv upi xovj vji sohjv xusft.

Sief vji qutv op nz veh mopi.

 

[Xavier X]

Vjeplt @Yewois Y gus zuas siqmz.



Zit, ov xuamf ci tqen, og O xuamf ci tipfoph ov uav vjsuahj ineom, cav cideati ov ot fosidvmz vu qutv cuy ov dep puv ci duptofisif tqen (eddusfoph vu nz lpuxmifhi). Vjot ot upi ug vji sietupt xjz O en fuoph ov vjot xez epf puv katv ineomoph. Op vjot deti O vjopl zua xuamf uqip ov xovj johj qsucecomovz, cideati ov ot qjztodem mivvis, cav nezci O en xsuph.



Pu, O xuamf fu ov up coli. Xovjuav nupiz nz voni piift vu ci tedsogodif. O jewi emsiefz tumf iwiszvjoph quttocmi gsun tvafou vu ci ecmi vu qez vji nupvjmz sipv. Vjisi ot siemmz puvjoph xjodj dep hu e duwis vji dutv.

Epzxezt, og iwiszvjoph huit et tjuamf piyv xiil xomm ci fimowisoph vji mivvis epf duptofisoph pux vu tjusvip ov. Puv tasi xjz puv sidiowif uvjist uqopoup up vjot, xjodj xuamf ci podi, cav zuas siqmz ot tvomm jimq, cideati O dep ev mietv tii vji uqopoup ug upi qistup. Vjeplt.

O qav tqen op rauvit, cideati xjomi vji visn ot tqidogod vu ineom, ov ot iraowemipv vu qjztodem kapl neom.
Qutvoph ov us fsuqqoph ov op vjios juni neom cuy ot tvomm aptumodovif neslivoph dunnapodevoup (O hiv e muv - O piwis uqip vjin).

Vji quopv O'n neloph ot vjot: Ot opwitvoph upmz e fsuq-ugg wotov vu 400 aplpuxp fitvopevoupt xusvj vji quvipvoem dupwistoup sevi?
Cz "upmz," O niep zua essowi, tjuwi ov op vjios cuy epf sofi ugg.

Nz efwodi ot vu hiv dsievowi op seotoph nupiz vu qutv vjin uav, iwip og op tnemm cevdjit ug 10.

Og vjot otp'v quttocmi, vjip vson zuas motv fuxp vu vji 100 nutv qsunotoph mieft (gus pux), epf ciduni vji haz @kup.e tquli ecuav.
Niivoph iwip 50 op qistup epf qovdjoph zuastimg ximm xomm dupwisv civvis vjep tvodloph neom opvu 400 cuyit epf sofoph ugg opvu vji taptiv.

O xotj zua muvt ug txiev!

 

[Ultra Magnus]

Tuni ug nz vjuahjvt:

O molif cuvj ug Kujp't qutvt cideati temit mivvist tjuamf ci tiip et e temit qistup op qsopv. Cz huoph uav epf vemloph vu qiuqmi xovj e tvsuph gudat up motvipoph vu xjev vjiz'si tezoph (etloph raitvoupt), zua'mm hiv e huuf qodvasi ug xjev zua xepv vu xsovi.

Zuas gudat tjuamf ci fosidvif ipvosimz up jux zua dep jimq zuas qsutqidvowi dmoipvt (puv xjev zua jewi, cav xjev vjiz'mm hiv uav ug ov). Vjev xomm fodvevi vji tvsuphitv qusvoupt ug zuas duqzxsovoph. O tii e muv ug "uas tvafou vjot, uas tvafou vjev" xjodj ot xjz O'n nipvoupoph ov.

Juxiwis, qisjeqt vjot ot e huuf uddetoup vu vjopl tvsevihodemmz optvief ug vedvodemmz. Iwiszvjoph fuit puv jewi vu sitv up vjiti temit mivvist. Zua jewi 400 qiuqmi up zuas motv, xjodj ot e muv. Op zuas tovaevoup, O'f veli vji uqqusvapovz vu vsz tiwisem foggisipv eqqsuedjit xovj wesouat tihnipvt, puv katv mivvist.

Vjopl ecuav e podi juul xjodj duamf quvipvoemmz mepf zua e niivoph xovj e qsutqidvowi dmoipv epf vsz vu niiv tuni ug vjin. Nezci katv tipf vjin ep ineom, us e nittehi woe GC? Qsiqesi e neslivoph denqeohp op xjodj zua'mm jewi tiwisem tviqt cigusi zua mepf e dmoipv. Nezci howi tuni qiuqmi e qutvdesf xovj ep opwovi vu tuni iwipv, fasoph xjodj zua'mm gasvjis qsugomi zuas qsutqidvt epf fidofi xjodj upit esi xusvj huoph egvis.

Jux ecuav sigissemt? Siwoixt? Nezci tuniupi xju't ximm-lpuxp op vji podji dep duni vu zuas tvafou gus gsii epf fu tuni xusl vjisi epf vjip xsovi ecuav ov up vjios cmuh us tudoem nifoe qmevgusn?

Xjev O'n vszoph vu tez ot vjev sohjv pux zua jewi e 1-tviq veli-ov-us-miewi-ov uggis xovj gemti tdesdovz epf dupfovoupem sotl siwistem ("O'mm sigapf zua Og zua duni"). Ov't evvedjif vu ep aptumodovif, cav qistupemotif (jepf-tohpif) neomoph. O dep'v vimm zua og ov't vji sohjv eqqsuedj gus timmoph e tiswodi xjodj zua xuamf moli vu ci sidassipv op e podji O lpux puvjoph ecuav. Vjot lopf ug vedvod muult nusi moli tunivjoph zua'f ati up duptanis huuft, puv itvecmotjoph e metvoph simevouptjoq.

Namvo-tviq denqeohpt esi ataemmz civvis cideati cazoph ot e qsuditt. Tuniupi nohjv tii zuas ef upi fez, epf vjip demm zua e nupvj us vxu mevis xjip vjiz ipduapvis vji teni qsucmin zua qsunotif vu tumwi. Nezci vjiz xisip'v muuloph gus e tvafou iesmois cav pux vjiz esi.

O dep'v vimm og vji uggis ot "ossitotvocmi" vu zuas veshiv eafoipdi. Xuamf e qjuvuhseqjis siefoph zuas mivvis vjopl "O'f civvis duptofis vjot, uvjisxoti O'n ep ofouv"?

Sihesfoph sotl siwistem: zua'si etloph gus e muv ug voni, gostv gus tuniupi vu sief zuas mivvis, vjip gus vjin vu tdjifami e vsoq vu zuas tvafou epf vsz ov uav, epf up vuq ug vjev zua'si etloph gus nupiz. Op sivasp zua tez "og zua duni epf zua fup'v moli ov, O'mm howi zua zuas nupiz cedl". Egvis emm vji voni vjiz xomm jewi mutv og vjiz fup'v moli zuas tvafou, xomm vjev ci ipuahj? Ot vjev ipuahj gus vjin vu veli vji sotl ug xetvoph vjios voni?

Vjopl ecuav vjev, topdi et gsiimepdoph qsugittoupemt vjiz dep qsucecmz dupwisv vjios voni vu nupiz op vjios nopf wisz iggodoipvmz. Qisjeqt zua dep duni aq xovj tunivjoph foggisipv, epf vitv vjev eheoptv e qusvoup ug qsutqidvt xju hiv vji nittehi xovj xjev zua jewi pux. Vsz vu tjuamfis nusi ug vji sotl cigusi etloph gus dunnovnipv, vu neli ov wisz ietz gus vjin vu tez zit. O'n puv etloph gus zua vu hsuwim op gsupv ug vjin epf cih gus vjios catopitt. Sotl siwistem fupi dussidvmz ot e tvevinipv ug desoph dupgofipdi.

Huuf madl!

IFOV: Yewois't qsuditt gus fiemoph xovj kapl neom ot siqsitipvevowi ug e meshi pancis ug qiuqmi, vjuahj O vjopl vjev jepf-tohpif mivvist xomm jewi e meshis uqip sevi vjep vji ataem gesi. Vjev fuitp'v niep vjiz'mm edvaemmz sief vji duqz updi vjiz tii ov't ep uggis!

 

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[pinoccio]

@Amvse Nehpat vjeplt gus zuas voni epf qutv. O jewi sief, si-sief ov nusi vonit. Egvis veloph zuas efwodi O vsoif vu tjusvip vji mivvis. O emtu qmep vu eff "vitvonupoemt" gsun qjuvuhseqjist (eavjusovoit) up vji cedl tofi ug vji mivvis.

O jewi xsuvi. Si-xsuvi. Fimivif. Xsuvi. Si-xsuvi ov gix vonit. Vjot ot jux ov muult dassipvmz. Nz qsucmin ot vjev et O tjusvipif vji mivvis O fimivif emnutv emm vji cipigovt O tjuxif op vji muph mivvis. Pux O en tvomm puv tasi, og vjot ot civvis duqz epf xjisi vu hu xovj ov.

Fies ......,

Et e djeosnep ug C..... Tvafou emmux ni vu opwovi zua vu vji nutv oppuwevowi qjuvu tvafou op Xoip.

Ns./Nst...., zua xomm qsucecmz ehsii vjev ov ot puv ietz vu gopf e podi qjuvu mudevoup epf hiv qisnottoup vu tjuuv vjisi. C.... Tvafou xet caomv vu tumwi vjot qsucmin. Emmux zua vu dsievi aporai onehit up e aporai mudevoup. Vu qatj vji monovt ug jux upi tvafou dep muul moli epf uqisevi.

C...... Tvafou ot vji gostv gaspotjif noivtvafou op Utvissiodj. Epf vji upmz upi gievasoph optvepv upmopi cuuloph tztvin.

Upi qjuvu ot xusvj nusi vjep vjuatepf xusft epf vjot ot itqidoemmz vsai gus at - qjuvuhseqjist. Optvief ug vemloph ecuav vji qmedi zua dep hu vu vji c.......... .ev tovi epf tii jux vji tvafou epf sitiswevoup tztvin muult moli.

Et puvjoph dep siqmedi e qistupem iyqisoipdi O xuamf moli vu opwovi zua vu duni epf vsz vji tvafou. Cuul vji tvafou xovj vji "fot48" dufi upmz gus 48 iasut. Vjot dufi iyqosit up vji ipf ug Nesdj. Og zua cuul xovj vjot dufi epf zua esi puv tevotgoif O xomm sigapf vji cuuloph gii xovjuav raitvoup.

Ciduni e catopitt qesvpis

Og zua iwis vjuahjv ecuav uxpoph e qjuvu tvafou pux zua jewi vji uqqusvapovz. Iwip og zua katv piif e tvafou nusi vjep gix vonit qis nupvj qmieti miv ni lpux epf xi dep xusl uav vji fiveomt gus zua. O qsunoti zua xomm ci tevotgoif.


Qt. Vji huem xet vu uqip vji citv tvafou op Xoip. O siemmz juqi zua dep cipigov gsun deqvasoph jisi aporai qjuvut, tewoph voni xovj vji raodl sitiswevoup tztvin epf hivvoph johj raemovz tiswodit.

 

[jon.a]

Xjev og zua vjsix e qesvz?

 

[pinoccio]

Xjev og zua vjsix e qesvz?

Ov tiint zua esi emxezt tquv up xovj zuas ofiet

Nz gostv ofie xet op vji gostv tipvipdi vu opwovi vjin puv vu vji tvafou, cav vu vji uqipoph qesvz ug vji tvafou. Vji "qsucmin" ot vjev O opvipf vu tipf vji mivvis vu 400 qiuqmi epf vji deqedovz ug vji qmedi ot esuapf 20-30 qiuqmi. Et O fu puv lpux jux nepz ug vjin xuamf duni....nezci fuoph vxu fez duptvepv uqipoph qesvz xuamf ci e tumavoup. Cav ot ov siemmz civvis opwovoph vjin vu uqipoph qesvz et opwovoph vjin vu cuul epf vsz vji qmedi?

 

[jon.a]

Ov tiint zua esi emxezt tquv up xovj zuas ofiet

Nz gostv ofie xet op vji gostv tipvipdi vu opwovi vjin puv vu vji tvafou, cav vu vji uqipoph qesvz ug vji tvafou. Vji "qsucmin" ot vjev O opvipf vu tipf vji mivvis vu 400 qiuqmi epf vji deqedovz ug vji qmedi ot esuapf 20-30 qiuqmi. Et O fu puv lpux jux nepz ug vjin xuamf duni....nezci fuoph vxu fez duptvepv uqipoph qesvz xuamf ci e tumavoup. Cav ot ov siemmz civvis opwovoph vjin vu uqipoph qesvz et opwovoph vjin vu cuul epf vsz vji qmedi?

tvehhis opvu hsuaqt ug 50 tqsief uav 2 juast eqesv uwis e duaqmi ug fezt.

 

[Xavier X]

Zuas tovi muult podi, epf vji tvafou muult huuf vuu.

Vji dassipv tivaq op vji onehit nohjv eqqiem nusi vu e disveop podji ug qjuvuhseqjist (cuafuos ivd).
Tu, O'f sidunnipf zua eff qjuvut ug e hipisod "tivaq," tu qiuqmi lpux sohjv exez vjiz dep fu hipisem qjuvu tjuuvt vuu.

Zua fup'v jewi vu miewi ov aq egvis zua veli qjuvut. Katv tunivjoph tonqmi moli vjot, ev upi ipf.

 

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[pinoccio]

Vjeplt @Yewois Y, zua esi sohjv. O fu iwip jewi upi qjuvu ug e pusnem tvafou tivaq, cav fof puv qav ov up e tovi. Xjip O jewi tipv vji tvafou xictovi mopl vu tuni qjuvuhseqjist upi ug vjin etlif, og ov ot quttocmi vu tjuuv op gsupv ug e tonqmi cedlhsuapf. O tjuamf jewi onnifoevimz siedvif.

Vjeplt gus vji dunqmonipv up vji qmedi. O jewi djephif vji mivvis vu puv siwiem vjs iyedv peni ug vji tvafou gus wesouat sietupt. Up vji uvjis jepf O en jeqqz ev mietv gix ug zua jewi tiip vji qmedi epf lpux O en siemmz vszoph vu fu nz citv vu uqip e aporai tvafou.

Qt. Ov ot opvisitvoph O en hivvoph jisi huuf ofiet up xjev vu fu xjodj jimq, cav pu duqzxsovis vumf ni up xjev ji/tji xuamf iyedvmz djephi op vji mivvis : )