Changing my life to get back on the fastlane

[djs13]

I'm a second year college student and I've had goals to become a successful entrepreneur since the beginning of high school. I've been a member of the Fastlane forums since almost its beginning and I've been finding myself getting off track of my dreams.

I go to school in upstate New York and my first year of college I lived in an apartment in a town far enough from my home so I could be independent but while being somewhat close to my family. My college didn't have a wild party scene and the girls weren't the greatest looking. I would hear from my friends about how crazy their colleges were which made me jealous and made me feel like I was missing out.

So I transferred colleges to a well known "party school" in the SUNY system. And since coming here I've experienced alot of parting, alot of drinking and alot of girls. And it's been awesome, but I've noticed that I've been getting off track. I live in a dorm and my life literally consists of going to school, doing my work and then drinking. Whereas my last college wasn't nearly as wild, I still read business books and was always working on a potential venture.

I called my mom today and I told her I'm thinking about going back to my first college. I told her my dream has always been to be an entrepreneur who makes it big either in college or shortly after and I know my current path won't lead me there. She's a bit surprised because she knows my last school was a bit boring and she knows how hard I worked to get into this one, but after my own epiphany and after reading in MJ's book about wasting your college years getting drunk which is wasting my time and parents money, I think moving back is a good idea.

The reason I'm asking for advice from the Fastlane members is because this group of people most resembles who I am, and virtually all of the people I come into contact on a daily basis with do not have an entrepreneurial point of view. The fraternity I'm in will be disappointed I'm leaving and my friends here will probably be mad at me, and moving back will probably put a damper on my social life, but I've realized I need to live these years differently than all the other college students in the world so I can live the rest of my life differently than they can.

What do you think?

 

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[Runum]

I think you need to stick with one thing whatever it is. What is it going to cost you in transfer hours lost and money to go back? Why can't you toughen up and do what you desire where you are now? Ultimately you make the choice to party where ever you are. Maybe you could figure out how to capitalize on the party scene where you are now?

Good luck.

 

[Neon]

Well, I dropped out of college to pursue my business and it paid off so perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice however...you're free to make your own choice no matter where you are. Perhaps just moving out of a dorm and into your own place is a better option?

It's pretty tough to drastically change your ways and keep the same friends, your friends are usually a mirror of who you are.

Sounds like you are being honest with yourself and making good observations.

What are your financial obligations? Are you racking up student loans?

 

[Davidla]

I think you need to stick with one thing whatever it is. What is it going to cost you in transfer hours lost and money to go back? Why can't you toughen up and do what you desire where you are now? Ultimately you make the choice to party where ever you are. Maybe you could figure out how to capitalize on the party scene where you are now?

Good luck.

I´ve seen a great example of the capitalizing on the party scene lately:

A couple of american guys here in Buenos Aires opened up a Pub Crawl company that opeartes daily crawls in different neighbourhoods. It is tourist targeted - the customers pay a up front fee, and recieve a fun night of some food and starting drinks, a free shot at every pub they crawl to, and transportation and entrance to a night club at the end. They pride themselves for having a fun work and making money ("the only job you are allowed to drink"). From what I´ve seen they have been very successful, and they expanded to other cities aswell if I am not mistaken.

I personally think that it is all about balance. Partying is not necessairly bad if it dosen´t keep you from the other things you want to achieve.

About the doorms - maybe consider moving to a private room/apartment (if you can afford it)? That might give you some private space to think, read and work better.

I would also suggest asking yourself the following questions:

1) Is the environment really the problem?
2) Maybe having fun right now is more importent to you than reaching financial goals?

My best friend (who has very high financial aspirationsl) just decided to take a break for two yeras and travel world wide instead of going to Uni/starting a business. The guy is a genius and I am convinced he will be very successful in his life. But right now he wants a break to travel the world with his girl, and fullfil goals and desires other than financial.

It is all up to you :smxF:

 

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[djs13]

1) Is the environment really the problem?
2) Maybe having fun right now is more importent to you than reaching financial goals?

I think the environment I'm in isn't helping me reach my goals. Yes I'm the one who chooses to party and I'm the one who chooses to go out, but I'm part of a fraternity here so from Wednesday night to Sunday I have mixers and parties that I'm obligated to go to. If I were to go back to Utica I would be alot less social but I know I would get my head back in the game.

And honestly, right now I'm having more fun at my current college because there's alot more people and the social scene is great. But I know if I stay here and stay in this frat I can pretty much only handle my academics and I won't be able to start a business.

Look at it this way, I lived in Utica until January and in December I bought MJ's book. I read the first 250 pages from X mas to mid January and since then I've barely read two pages. I know I'm less productive here.

And back to your second question, I guess that's what my internal struggle is. Should I spend the next two years having an awesome time but not getting anywhere closer to my goal of being an entrepreneur? Or do I move back, make serious moves in becoming successful but then potentially having regrets later on of not staying in my frat?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

but after my own epiphany and after reading in MJ's book about wasting your college years getting drunk which is wasting my time and parents money, I think moving back is a good idea.

I don't remember saying this anywhere in my book ... getting drunk in college and having fun is apart of the whole experience -- and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

[djs13]

I think I'm referring to pg. 157 under "Choose to be wealthy or choose to be poor." And it says, "The choice to squander college because your parents paid for it" and a few lines under "The choice to overindulge in food or liquor."

For the next two years I essentially live for free, I do work part-time just to have some extra money to save for business ventures. But as far as housing and food goes my parents have it covered. And I guess I'm just coming to the realization that right now I can stay in my frat, stay in my college and have a good time on my parents dime while still receiving an education. Then pursue my business goals.

Or move back on my own, in my own apartment, in a more quiet place and focus solely on school and business. I guess right now my internal struggle is to find out if I'm squandering this period of my life or if these are precious times that I should enjoy.

 

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[GlobalWealth]

I guess right now my internal struggle is to find out if I'm squandering this period of my life or if these are precious times that I should enjoy.

You say this as if you have a definitive choice to make. Why can't you be productive AND have fun?

I'm all for doing serious business. But that doesn't mean I cannot loosen up a bit at times. Actually, the best parties I have ever attended were with business connections.

 

[Jill]

I too was the 13-going-on-30 kinda gal. So I understand where you're coming from. BUT, you only have the opportunity to do the college gig once in your lifetime, so enjoy it. But use this time and opportunity
to prove to yourself how strong and disciplined you can be. If you run from life's temptations now, then you won't be strong enough to resist them when you reach the "real" world. Because trust me when I tell you, they will only increase as you build relationships in the real world. This is the time to partition your schedule and schedule fun time vs. Work time. You're only young once. Enjoy it.

 

[WestCoast]

I will disagree with most here and say being focused and working hard is more important than the party scene. As a person who focused on their goals, running a team, traveling and working hard in school, I was able to buy my first business - literally - the day after graduation. That was a Sunday, the next day, Monday, we were open for business. That took 6-9 months of planning during my senior year and would never have happened if I didn't buckle down and work myself hard instead of playing.

Now, I didn't study and work hard to get good grades or make a deans list, I did it because I wanted to learn and be a student of the game. I don't suppose that college taught me 5% of what I do every day in running my business, but looking back 6 years later, I don't regret at all focusing on my life ahead and ignoring the impulsive stuff that everyone else was so involved in.

6 years later, the business has grown 550%+ and I'm preparing to sell it, I've bought and sold another one in the meantime and am traveling and living the life I've wanted. There is so so so much more to do and there is so much opportunity in the world.... if the business life is your calling, why waste any time getting started?!

I'm certainly not saying don't make time for fun, play and recouping/recharging. And I'm also not close minded enough to say that plenty of people haven't partied hard and made it HUGE. But, you're young and full of energy. Why not direct that to something unique rather than what everyone else is doing? Get a head start on the rest of your life....

Personal choice I guess, but it worked out well for me.

 

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[Icy]

If you're planning to drop out, why not just use the "free" food\room to your advantage instead of dropping out?

-Take easy classes, and when you can help others with something they have problems with in exchange to copy work that is just a "time waster".

-If you have one of those classes that take forever to go over a topic, either skip it, or bring a laptop, and work on something else.

-Still have fun at parties, but be reasonable so you don't waste the next day recovering. Although being at a frat I'm sure that'd be a feat in itself haha

Even then, if you dropped out and are within a reasonable distance I bet you'd still go to parties. I dropped out 1.5 years ago, and still every once in a while go to something. I made it 1 "year" (after first semester I gave up on required classes, and just popped in to interesting classes ) before dropping out. In terms of education for the money I don't feel bad, but I do wonder about how much I missed in the social aspect of it.

I just realized how 2 years ago was my 2nd semester and gave up on college - notice how thats when I joined here (feb 09). haha

Side note: If you don't mind me asking which SUNY school? I was at a SUNY (Potsdam) party this past weekend. Any chance you're this far north?

 

[Neon]

I'm not advocating dropping out, although it's what I did.

I went to college for 2 years and HATED it. Not the social scene, but the classwork which I felt was completely useless. If I were to do it again I would probably study information tech and take a bunch of PHP programming classes etc.

I was paying for college myself, I busted my butt working 2 jobs to pay for the first 2 years and was planning on transferring schools after that. I took a hard look at what it was going to take to pay for school which meant taking on massive loans I could not pay back. I dropped out and started my business while I worked crappy jobs. It was not glamorous, and it was tough watching my friends party while I was living in a crap apartment alone. However, it paid off later.

One thing I really sort of resent (I'm not necessarily directing this at people here) is people saying to stay in school because it's "free". If you're on scholarship/grants etc. then it's free. If your parents are paying, it's not free. Chances are your parents are either going into debt or spending their savings on college for you. They may be saddled with that for the rest of their lives.

When I was working on my businesses and taking minimum wage jobs to feed myself I really resented kids who were partying 24/7 because it was "free" while their parents were spending tens of thousands to keep them there.

Whatever you decide, commit to it 100%.

 

[NHS]

All I did was party from 18 til 32. Then I started making serious money and instead of doing the right thing I bought an expensive car. Less then a year later I bought another expensive car.

So I worked but in my mind I still partied I guess. Now at the age of 38, I really hate to admit that on the forum, I am finally getting my shit together.

So you have the option of doing like I did or starting now. It's really up to you. Changing schools isn't the problem. Problem is you. Change yourself into what you want to be and stop blaming something else.

Personally I would rather go to the party school. Clearly alot of kids throwing money around. Just reach out and grab some.

 

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[JEdwards]

And back to your second question, I guess that's what my internal struggle is. Should I spend the next two years having an awesome time but not getting anywhere closer to my goal of being an entrepreneur? Or do I move back, make serious moves in becoming successful but then potentially having regrets later on of not staying in my frat?

Stay in school, party your a$$ off, there is always time to make money.... When you are in the last 5 minutes of life, is the extra mill you made going to matter? No.. But that one girl, that one night, that one time.. Make memories. The money will come.

I too was the 13-going-on-30 kinda gal. So I understand where you're coming from. BUT, you only have the opportunity to do the college gig once in your lifetime, so enjoy it. But use this time and opportunity
to prove to yourself how strong and disciplined you can be. If you run from life's temptations now, then you won't be strong enough to resist them when you reach the "real" world. Because trust me when I tell you, they will only increase as you build relationships in the real world. This is the time to partition your schedule and schedule fun time vs. Work time. You're only young once. Enjoy it.

Exactly!!

 

[whizzy]

I agree with Jill. You are only young once, and you should take advantage of the college scene. You will always be able to pursue your ventures with the kind of mindset you have.