Beware! Growth-Killing Identity Labels...

[MJ DeMarco]

I've been trying to mentor a young man in the last year (lets call him "G"), and in doing so, it has provided me with a keen insight into just how "f*cked up* our media, educational, and entertainment complex has brainwashed our youth into accepting mediocrity as state of normalcy.

G is struggling with an identity. He's a first year college student and has no clue what he wants to do with his life. That's not unusual. We've all been there.

However whenever he mentions things of interest (but isn't necessarily good at) he falls back to an "identity label" as an excuse not to pursue it.

I'm not good at that.
I'm not a good writer.
I'm not a good athlete.
I can't draw.
I can't speak well.
I'm an introvert... (more on this below)
I this..
I that...​

Just like he's been trained by Hollywood and their X-men, he is sitting around WAITING for some type of heroic talent to FIND HIM. My guess is he expects to pick up a guitar for the first time in his life, and bam, in 24 hours he's Eddie Van Halen.

Again, we're at EVENT vs PROCESS -- he's looking for an EVENT to provide him with an identity where identity is threaded in a PROCESS. Doing the hard work. Practicing. Learning and failing. Daily rigors and trials. For him, he does NOT want to see this. He only sees the podium and the award.

For much of the world, TALENT has to come from our effort, not from our birthright.

Much of this all comes down to identity labels.

An identity label is a short, succinct description of yourself that is regarded as a permanent state of being, a characteristic that is both inflexible and immune from alteration.

Identity labels are symptomatic to a fixed-mindset.

And identity labels are the primary excuse we see here which prevents GROWTH and ACTION.

• I don't know how to code...
• I don't know how to [blank]...
• I know nothing about manufacturing or prototyping...
• My degree is in X so therefore, I'm not trained in Y...

Here's an example personal to me.

I'm an introvert. <-- Yes, that's MJ's Identity Label.

And while introversion is more fact than fiction (kind of like being left-handed versus right handed) it DOES NOT define me. A fixed mindset type who is aware of his introversion would avoid ALL interviews and even more, avoid all public speaking. I'm not good at that. I'm an introvert.

But I don't.

Instead I strap on my big-boy pants and understand that I have to WORK HARDER in this area to overcome this state. And after years of practice, I'm happy to say I'm better at it.

And the whole idea of interviews/public speaking is NOT so fearful.

In fact, I can go as far to say that I could do public speaking for a living. That's right. I can speak to a group for a living despite my introversion. How about that for a good 'ole FU!

That's the power of practice. The power of a growth mindset. And the power of catching yourself in an identity label and using it to gird your expectations for discomfort over comfort.

So I leave this with a question for you ...

What identity label are you using RIGHT NOW that could be impeding your growth?

For how this pertains to the NEW STAR WARS film, read this post:

Beware! Growth-Killing Identity Labels...​

For more on identity, visit here:

*UNSCRIPTED* - Identity Hacking: How to Kill Your Status Quo

 

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[PureA]

Nice read, an important reminder.

For anyone who really relates with this topic and wants to go deeper, I highly recommend the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" - Cal Newport.

 

[Manumusashi]

Thanks for this great reminder, MJ. (You also talk about this in Unscripted .)

I needed to hear this!