An introduction and my (abbreviated) story

[DMNinja]

Hello everyone!
My name's Constantine, and I am from Greece and I am 28 years old. I'm frankly somewhat afraid to be introducing myself on the forum just because I have no idea how to write for regular people, and not scientists. I'll skip over the parts where I started bettering my own life (listening to audiobooks while stuck in traffic, getting caught in the "guru" trap, then moving on to actual people with actual information etc.). With that out of the way, here's my story:
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The Beginning​

I grew up in a small fishing town in southern Greece, raised as the first son of a slow lane family. During elementary school, I showed an entrepreneurial side by casting and curing clay into Pokemon jelly molds, then painting them and selling them for some money on the side. When my family found out, I was disciplined and forced to stop production. My father regrets doing that to this day.

As the firstborn son I had to uphold the family image and prestige, and so I was under immense pressure for all my underage years. Failure was shamed upon and when I succeeded, I could have always done better. I was kept getting told I was a genius but extremely lazy, and that sitting on the computer was a waste of time. Being a teenager by this point of course I did the exact opposite, and started playing games for an inordinate amount of time. When time came for me to choose a university (it's a standard practice in Greece because higher education is free) I had may arguments with my family on the topic of attending what I liked (computer engineering) vs. what they wanted (civil engineering). Now at 28 years of age, I know they pulled some extremely low blows to guilt trip me into becoming an civil engineer, something that I have not come to terms with to this day.
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The University Years​

As soon as I left home to study, I pushed myself too hard and ended up developing myocarditis (a condition that has left me with minor irreparable heart damage) which ended up almost killing me. I was told by the doctor to stay at home for a year to recover, but I declined and said I wanted to keep on. Thus, I moved to Cyprus, a country with a much hotter climate so as to avoid the risk of inducing myocarditis again (something to do with the cold and the way it developed). I have been told a great number of times (more than I care to count) that physical stress and any type of exertion is to be avoided because, that's what the doctor told me (back then). I should find a job so as to "not stress".

In Cyprus, I immediately could not cope with my life. I was only able to be active for about 1.5hrs per day, and then my body would just shut down and I'd fall asleep. Thus my grades plummeted. Luckily for my family, I had learnt how to discipline myself (/sarcasm) so it was me that gave myself endless shit for my grades. I started to hit the bottle. Lucky for me, that didn't last long, but long story short, for the next 4 years it was a life of mediocrity and non-importance.
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The Job Market​

When I finished my Bachelor's of Science (BSc) I was forced to continue into higher education for a Masters of Science (MSc). At that point I wanted nothing to do with being a civil engineer anymore, and I tried to get an MSc into something related. I happened upon research and development (R&D) in materials engineering, and I enjoyed that path, so I took it. It was an unscheduled, messy, low paying, high demand work being in R&D (at least where I worked) and I was noticing that the ones issuing research were not the ones working on it. So I tried my hand at conducting my own.

I submitted a proposal for 35.000 EUR with 66% funding on a related call, which got accepted. I was over the moon. That was big money! At the end of the proposal, I ended up getting paid slightly higher than minimum salary, where the organization I had partnered up with walked away with essentially the rest. I felt like my hard work was in vain, and at that moment I decided that future work will pay me and me alone. F*ck everyone else, and F*ck dependencies. But it was time for me to answer the military draft.​

The Draft​

Being a part of the army for 9 months was certainly an experience. One that I am happy to have had. It put my life on pause essentially, and I was able to take a step back and evaluate my life (as much as I could, the camps being on high alert because of local geopolitical issues). I ended up mellowing out and calming down, which I am grateful for and I believe I picked up many things, but the story is long enough already so...
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Where am I Now?​

At this point I frankly feel tired. I want to take control over my life, yet everyone around me (including my family) wants me to stay in the slow lane. To trade my life away for a sum, and for someone else to profit off of MY work. They want me to join the high-salary public sector and I want to do something entirely different. This just keeps exhausting me and so I end up wrapping up old loose ends and relaxing right after, instead of putting in any meaningful work. At this point, I have no plan and no clear aim for me to progress. I've joined this forum to leave what's broken behind, so something better can come about. I hope I understand and get over what's causing my hang-ups, and I want to be one of the people that are successful. I want to put the work in, yet I also want to know that I won't be getting F*cked over.

At the end of the day it's my life, I know, yet sometimes it feels like it isn't.
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Closing Statements​

Thank you for reading thus far and special thanks to @MJ DeMarco for allowing us a platform where we can have a voice. I know I've got a long road ahead of me, and tons of personal work, biases and phobias to resolve, but I want to own my life, and even if it takes more than normal, I want to and I will get there. Tying up loose ends first, clean slate second, actual progress next.
I am not used to checking a forum on the regular, but I will try to answer questions directed at me.

Thank you for your time
-Constantine

EDIT: Some minor explanations throughout the story​

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Zua xsovi wisz ximm. Ximduni ecuesf Duptvepvopi.