Aggressive And Unsolicited "advice" from LIFELONG "Sidewalkian" drones!

[fastlaneCoder]

I don't know where to begin. The area that I live in is a small-town (Mayberry-ish) place where people can be set in their ways. In the years prior I was in college and I had people I could bounce ideas off of. They understood the basic fastlane concepts. We sucked at execution (too afraid) so nothing ever got accomplished but at least they understood the basic premise.

Well, in my area (Smalltown central Georgia) that's not the case. Any fastlane/entrepreneurial talk is met with the swiftest and most aggressive "sidelane" (slowlane + sidewalk) advice. Even if they just see you reading a book or two. I've had a friend who are spends every last dime on additional ammo and new cars b/c "money will soon be worthless". And my family likes to see rich people "hurt" and if anyone "makes it" then it's automatically their responsibility to "take care" of the rest of them.

I just want to know what are some of your own stories of dealing with these "helpful" people. I tend to be blunt and sarcastic at times and I'm looking for more ways to "finesse" these interactions?

They tell me that you could "go out of business" and I tell them that they could be suddenly fired (and they OFTEN ARE) but it still doesn't register.

Not interacting with them isn't an option! In this area if you don't turn a wrench, dig a ditch, drive trucks, stock groceries or work at the prison then you are just "trying to be slick" and they don't "take too kindly to that round here"

 

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[Lights]

Don't tell them anything

Don't tell them you're a success, don't tell them you're making a business, don't tell them you failed (I told you so).

I tell my family only the surface details, and even sometimes I change it if I know it doesn't appeal to them.



You're better off alone.

 

[Guest682]

I agree, people who are executing BP or working for themselves / managing their own time, orchestrating their money machines, we live in another world. Don't tell people anything, just tell them you're working.. for years the type of feedback I received from people had me believing I was some how delusional or crazy, until I read MFL and a ton of other books which actually validated my beliefs while identifying my execution challenges...

Side-walkers will not or more simply cannot offer you the feedback you desire, they are the ones we create for. One measurement I use to decide whether a person might have something viable to share with my developmental path, is looking at what they have attained, what they have created, what they have orchestrated, and how it fits into my life's primary aim, if it doesn't then proceeding engagement will most likely sap your energy & time, however in some instances some of the people I've introduced to entrepreneurship have come back to me and are now teaching me things! Which I think is wonderful! So in the end don't alienate people but do be frugal with the energy you give to others.

Continue to network / connect / share with people similar to your path, to make it easier to connect, build work sharing partnerships with people that compliment what you do or perform a particular function of your business that you don't like doing & vice versa, for instance I run a socmed company which includes web-design however I only facilitate the engagement strategy, I have or am building partnerships for website deployment, server maintenance, and logo / design work. These partners I often end up just shooting the shit with on skype constantly bouncing ideas off each other and such or bitching to each other about crazy customers =) One thing I learned is you have to share otherwise you'll be alone, no point in trying to do it all yourself, and no point in being paranoid like you have the next best idea and everyone is trying to steal it, thats just an excuse to never execute, and even if someone did steal your wonderful idea through deceitful actions, their execution would be so gritty it would most likely fail in this age of informed / word-of-mouth consumerism. Good luck to you.

 

[fastlaneCoder]

Thanks! I appreciate your .02 cents on this! :eusa_clap:

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Happens to me all the time.

I usually smile, say 'thanks for the advice' in a cheery voice, then walk away and continue to live my own damn life however I choose.

 

[McNandez]

I agree with Lights, don't share too much of your plans with people who are set on staying in the slowlane. You're not going to change their minds. What you described seems like one hell of a comfort zone, and I hope you are reaching out to connect with other like minded people, as SurfCEO said.

I get the "but you could go out of business!" line all the time. The only thing I've found that seems to at least make them pause, even for a little bit, is saying something along the lines of, "yeah, that's a chance, but who's better off: the person who learned how to work hard and build a business, or the person who worked behind a desk for 40 years and suddently got laid off?" More often than not, this leads to some impotent rage about the president or liberals. It makes me less popular every single time I say it, but it's a little extra wind in my sails to have made them uncomfortable, because I know they expect me to agree and sit around to engage in more time-wasting. Like MJ says in the MFL, figure out how to turn headwinds into momentum (or similar, I forgot the exact line), and you'll never want for motivation in a town like this.

 

[Jason K]

I don't know where to begin. The area that I live in is a small-town (Mayberry-ish) place where people can be set in their ways. In the years prior I was in college and I had people I could bounce ideas off of. They understood the basic fastlane concepts. We sucked at execution (too afraid) so nothing ever got accomplished but at least they understood the basic premise.

Well, in my area (Smalltown central Georgia) that's not the case. Any fastlane/entrepreneurial talk is met with the swiftest and most aggressive "sidelane" (slowlane + sidewalk) advice. Even if they just see you reading a book or two. I've had a friend who are spends every last dime on additional ammo and new cars b/c "money will soon be worthless". And my family likes to see rich people "hurt" and if anyone "makes it" then it's automatically their responsibility to "take care" of the rest of them.

I just want to know what are some of your own stories of dealing with these "helpful" people. I tend to be blunt and sarcastic at times and I'm looking for more ways to "finesse" these interactions?

They tell me that you could "go out of business" and I tell them that they could be suddenly fired (and they OFTEN ARE) but it still doesn't register.

Not interacting with them isn't an option! In this area if you don't turn a wrench, dig a ditch, drive trucks, stock groceries or work at the prison then you are just "trying to be slick" and they don't "take too kindly to that round here"

You run into this in internet marketing all the time. And here's the kicker: when you DO achieve success, and have the cash...they STILL HATE your guts for doing something different than they did and winning!

You cannot please them. Since you say you can't cut them out, your option is "Good weather." Change the topic to something non-threatening whenever one of them brings it up.

There are some very negative beliefs about money that your family has, and has taught you. I hope you are re-writing those in your own mind right now.

Finally, maybe you should consider moving to a place with people more open to your desires?

 

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[fastlaneCoder]

I agree with Lights, don't share too much of your plans with people who are set on staying in the slowlane. You're not going to change their minds. What you described seems like one hell of a comfort zone, and I hope you are reaching out to connect with other like minded people, as SurfCEO said.

I get the "but you could go out of business!" line all the time. The only thing I've found that seems to at least make them pause, even for a little bit, is saying something along the lines of, "yeah, that's a chance, but who's better off: the person who learned how to work hard and build a business, or the person who worked behind a desk for 40 years and suddently got laid off?" More often than not, this leads to some impotent rage about the president or liberals. It makes me less popular every single time I say it, but it's a little extra wind in my sails to have made them uncomfortable, because I know they expect me to agree and sit around to engage in more time-wasting. Like MJ says in the MFL, figure out how to turn headwinds into momentum (or similar, I forgot the exact line), and you'll never want for motivation in a town like this.

Holy smokes...I totally forgot about the chapter on people "farting headwinds". Lol. Thanks for reminding me! I feel like I'm in some kind of twilight zone down here!

 

[BeingChewsie]

You need to move away from that. That type of hostility towards wealth creation is toxic and potentially dangerous as you begin to make money. Ignoring them doesn't seem to be enough, eventually they will find out you are bettering yourself and your situation and they will see that as an afront to how they live...you will be saying to them "You are not good enough for me and your way of life is not good enough for me". I have seen this type of behavior many times and the best thing to do is leave. Because you can't beat them and ultimately they will find a way to make you join them. If you don't you will become the enemy, the outsider. This is one of those forks you come to in your life. The decision you make here matters. My advice:

Get out. Get out. Get out.

You are grown-up, you are free, and you can leave.

Sue

 

[fastlaneCoder]

You run into this in internet marketing all the time. And here's the kicker: when you DO achieve success, and have the cash...they STILL HATE your guts for doing something different than they did and winning!

You cannot please them. Since you say you can't cut them out, your option is "Good weather." Change the topic to something non-threatening whenever one of them brings it up.

There are some very negative beliefs about money that your family has, and has taught you. I hope you are re-writing those in your own mind right now.

Finally, maybe you should consider moving to a place with people more open to your desires?

Yes, that's the general plan that I'm working on! I'm reading "You Are Not Your Brain" right now and it's awesome! After a while you realize that people don't want to see the sidewalk/slowlane for what it is! When it's time to explain "wealth inequality" they pull their sleeve up and reach deep down into a pot full of greed, envy and conspiracy theories.

 

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[fastlaneCoder]

You need to move away from that. That type of hostility towards wealth creation is toxic and potentially dangerous as you begin to make money. Ignoring them doesn't seem to be enough, eventually they will find out you are bettering yourself and your situation and they will see that as an afront to how they live...you will be saying to them "You are not good enough for me and your way of life is not good enough for me". I have seen this type of behavior many times and the best thing to do is leave. Because you can't beat them and ultimately they will find a way to make you join them. If you don't you will become the enemy, the outsider. This is one of those forks you come to in your life. The decision you make here matters. My advice:

Get out. Get out. Get out.

You are grown-up, you are free, and you can leave.

Sue

Thanks BeingChewsie ( thought it said BigChewy at first...lol). I now see why you have 145kph reputation. Well said!

 

[dpj]

Definitely agree with BeingChewsie

People have a tendency to fear what they do not understand, and this type of conformist mob mentality thrives in an environment where everyone agrees and does exactly as everyone else, doesn't try to rock the boat, or be slick, or be seen as doing something 'shady', or be ridiculed as "that guy who tried and failed". The hard part is that many of them are friends and family, and it can be hurtful to sever or dampen these relationships in pursuit of your dreams.

Nevertheless, in 10, 15, 20 years, would you be happy if you stayed and conformed? Or will you know that you did what you had to do for your own life, knowing that you can come back and visit anytime?

Most of mine come from relatives in a culture where just being older "deserves" more respect etc. Growing up, I often heard aunts and uncles proclaiming wisdom like "Those who are born poor will always be poor!" or "The days where a man can decide to get rich in 20 years are long gone!" or when they did try something and failed, they would say "The big companies are too powerful and not let us compete anyway." or "It just wasn't meant to be." As I got older and started challenging them and showing the fruits of my labors, I became known as a troublemaker, and was often chided "Why can't you be like your cousin ****. He is doing well and doesn't waste his time on these crazy ideas!" And now that my business is doing well, they make even more excuses that I had some kind of leg up on their kids or that somebody must have given me an unfair advantage or I must be up to something shady. Lol!

If you get it, you get it, regardless of what "they" say. Go for it!

dpj

 

[fastlaneCoder]

Thanks DPJ speed+. That was a great post!

 

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[Nadia]

You will know people who are aggressive on the sidewalk by their language. The words safe, secure and stable ALWAYS come up.

The most important thing to do when speaking to people is quietly listen to their words. Personally, I have always heard the money cannot make me happy scene and I smile and move the conversation. My mother herself isn't far of the rich, she prefers being poor. I know it sounds crazy and stupid to say however my father was a very successful and serial entrepreneur but my mother's upbringing and background often leads her to live in fear where she has never discouraged me, infact she has been very supportive however I never discuss Business with her because any time anything new and exciting comes up, she will by default go into panic mode about how it will fail. INSTANTLY. I love her all the more but I would never take money or business advice from anyone who hasn't got the Fastlane Mindset.

Keep doing your thing, find people in your niche to support you, join clubs and keep running! You're doing just fine

 

[aardvarky]

You are grown-up, you are free, and you can leave.

I'd tend to agree with this - especially since you have a college degree and motivation. You can make a pretty swell life for yourself almost everywhere in the world...

That being said, not everyone wants to leave And even if you don't - well, all those slowlaners are actually your target market. Maybe you can turn every conversation away from yourself and about them, learn more about their mindset and motivations, and use it to advance your business.

Everyone is useful somehow as long as you approach from the right angle. Every time a slowlaner discourages you, just remember that Rockefeller used to THROW AWAY the gasoline which was a by-product of making kerosene 'til he looked for and found a way to make what was previously inconvenient garbage into a fortune. Can you turn slow-laner drivel into something useful for you?

 

[Dan Willis]

I'd tend to agree with this - especially since you have a college degree and motivation. You can make a pretty swell life for yourself almost everywhere in the world...

That being said, not everyone wants to leave And even if you don't - well, all those slowlaners are actually your target market. Maybe you can turn every conversation away from yourself and about them, learn more about their mindset and motivations, and use it to advance your business.

Everyone is useful somehow as long as you approach from the right angle. Every time a slowlaner discourages you, just remember that Rockefeller used to THROW AWAY the gasoline which was a by-product of making kerosene 'til he looked for and found a way to make what was previously inconvenient garbage into a fortune. Can you turn slow-laner drivel into something useful for you?

Don't cast your pearls before swine. The amount of time and effort you will burn trying to help sidewalk or slow laners grasp fastlane mentallity is wasted. Prioritize what is important for you and go from there!

 

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[Blueskies4me]

Can you turn slow-laner drivel into something useful for you?

Fortunately most of the slowlaners aren't hard to predict and the market is made up of 99% consumer slowlaners. I've always kind of smiled at the irony ...they scoff at everything and we make it into a product.

 

[Brander]

Not interacting with them isn't an option! In this area if you don't turn a wrench, dig a ditch, drive trucks, stock groceries or work at the prison then you are just "trying to be slick" and they don't "take too kindly to that round here"

Move, asap. Move to where the environment will not be detrimental to your ambitions, but stimulating.

 

[Testament]

Not interacting with them isn't an option! In this area if you don't turn a wrench, dig a ditch, drive trucks, stock groceries or work at the prison then you are just "trying to be slick" and they don't "take too kindly to that round here"

Is Larry the Cable Guy very popular in your area? While reading your post, all I could think of was a town full of Simpsons-style yokels shouting, "Git 'er DUN!!1"

I agree with everyone else so far. I'm actually in a simliar situation at the moment. Had to take a fast food job to support myself since moving back to the US, one a friend from high school got me. Now I work alongside him with almost exclusively fast food lifers, serving customers who are mainly slow laners. I was excited the other day because I was speaking to a coworker of mine who mentioned she owned an online business, but as I inquired further, she told me that her parents had set the whole thing up for her and she basically just sits back and gets the money from it. ;

It's hard trying to keep a balance of being positive while at the same time trying to keep out the heavy sidewalk energy that they radiate. Man, the mindsets of people like that are toxic as hell! Trying to teach them is a waste of time...I especially agree with dpj and JasonK - it's messed up of the sidewalkers, but even when you wind up succeeding, they'll still find a way to hate on you. Exponentially more. I guess all you can really do is try to ignore them as much as possible until you can move away. Don't discuss fast lane stuff with them, they're extremely attached to their point of view and 99% of the world reinforces it daily.

You can't force someone to choose the red pill over the blue one.

 

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