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Advice on dealing with Frustration

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DStark

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I figured I would ask this question because god knows I need some advice right now and I am sure there are plenty of others who could use the same.

In a forum of Entrepreneurs, I know all of us run up against a lot of frustration. How do you guys deal with the overload of work, the not getting the nuances of programming/sales/marketing/ads( there is so much to learn), the day to day grind of just not getting somewhere, suppliers, blah blah blah.

Frustration comes at us from all different directions and in all areas of life. I have been dealing with mine by going to the gym, listening to audiobooks on business( changing that oil lol, sometimes all day) but I grind through it and feel like I can work against myself.

What tactics do you guys have for dealing with those grrrrrr moments that can help calm and center yourself to get back to being as productive as possible?
 

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WJK

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...What tactics do you guys have for dealing with those grrrrrr moments that can help calm and center yourself to get back to being as productive as possible?
Basic questions here -- Have you ever gone hungry? Literally missed your meals? Worried about keeping a roof over your head and the utilities on?
When I was very young, I was the kid who could never go home. I was totally on my own. I either figured it out, or I starved -- literally.
So, when I was 19, and I made minimum wages ($1.65 per hour), I moved to downtown Los Angeles. I carried 18 units at my college, achieving a 3.9 grade point average -- while I worked 32 hours per week to be able to eat and have a place to live between my classes.
Absolute necessity is the simple answer to your question.
 
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Kak

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I figured I would ask this question because god knows I need some advice right now and I am sure there are plenty of others who could use the same.

In a forum of Entrepreneurs, I know all of us run up against a lot of frustration. How do you guys deal with the overload of work, the not getting the nuances of programming/sales/marketing/ads( there is so much to learn), the day to day grind of just not getting somewhere, suppliers, blah blah blah.

Frustration comes at us from all different directions and in all areas of life. I have been dealing with mine by going to the gym, listening to audiobooks on business( changing that oil lol, sometimes all day) but I grind through it and feel like I can work against myself.

What tactics do you guys have for dealing with those grrrrrr moments that can help calm and center yourself to get back to being as productive as possible?
My advice is to get used to it. It is part of entrepreneurship. Literally. I jump from one frustration to the next until I finally crack something open and then there is nothing like the feeling.
 

AndrewNC

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I figured I would ask this question because god knows I need some advice right now and I am sure there are plenty of others who could use the same.

In a forum of Entrepreneurs, I know all of us run up against a lot of frustration. How do you guys deal with the overload of work, the not getting the nuances of programming/sales/marketing/ads( there is so much to learn), the day to day grind of just not getting somewhere, suppliers, blah blah blah.

Frustration comes at us from all different directions and in all areas of life. I have been dealing with mine by going to the gym, listening to audiobooks on business( changing that oil lol, sometimes all day) but I grind through it and feel like I can work against myself.

What tactics do you guys have for dealing with those grrrrrr moments that can help calm and center yourself to get back to being as productive as possible?
There is a Zen phrase that All Suffering Comes from Resistance.
  • I release the emotional resistance to what is, accepting it for what has already happened.
  • I released the self-judgements and emotions that came up when things didn't go as expected.
  • I realized that it's not the things that outside that cause our emotions, but something from within. Releasing emotions from triggers helps.
So through a multi-year-long inner journey, which was only triggered by a necessity of when things got so bad, I had to find another way; it led me to the place where things outside of me no longer frustrated me.

Lots of internal stuff...

But where that leads most people (and me for a while) was complacency and not really put into motion by anything. The frustration and struggle were gone, but the motivation and growth were sacrificed. You see this in a lot of spiritual circles.

The the solution to balance things back is to keep the resistance gone, accepting things as lessons that help me grow; and immediately recognizing when something isn't working, and adjusting my actions to try something else.

This leaves me in the place of being motivated, quickly able to move past obstacles and things that don't go as planned...

But with the emotional acceptance of how things are where the frustration is (for the most part) gone.

Not all of the time, but 99% there.

Also, the confidence that every goal I set out for myself in the past has been achieved (except for one), all unfolding when I least expected it; so that helps build the confidence that while we might lose a number of battles, we always win the war. So reflecting on past experiences helps. As long as you get the big goal, you might as well enjoy the ride...
 

ApparentHorizon

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I figured I would ask this question because god knows I need some advice right now and I am sure there are plenty of others who could use the same.

In a forum of Entrepreneurs, I know all of us run up against a lot of frustration. How do you guys deal with the overload of work, the not getting the nuances of programming/sales/marketing/ads( there is so much to learn), the day to day grind of just not getting somewhere, suppliers, blah blah blah.

Frustration comes at us from all different directions and in all areas of life. I have been dealing with mine by going to the gym, listening to audiobooks on business( changing that oil lol, sometimes all day) but I grind through it and feel like I can work against myself.

What tactics do you guys have for dealing with those grrrrrr moments that can help calm and center yourself to get back to being as productive as possible?
High-intensity exercises for short-term relief.

As for the nuances...it only gets worse.

Think of it as a circle. As your area of knowledge expands, so too does your perimeter of ignorance.

I get through it by getting back to work. After all, when you have new information in your arsenal, you can usually find somewhere to apply it.
 

WJK

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There is a Zen phrase that All Suffering Comes from Resistance.
  • I release the emotional resistance to what is, accepting it for what has already happened.
  • I released the self-judgements and emotions that came up when things didn't go as expected.
  • I realized that it's not the things that outside that cause our emotions, but something from within. Releasing emotions from triggers helps.
So through a multi-year-long inner journey, which was only triggered by a necessity of when things got so bad, I had to find another way; it led me to the place where things outside of me no longer frustrated me.

Lots of internal stuff...

But where that leads most people (and me for a while) was complacency and not really put into motion by anything. The frustration and struggle were gone, but the motivation and growth were sacrificed. You see this in a lot of spiritual circles.

The the solution to balance things back is to keep the resistance gone, accepting things as lessons that help me grow; and immediately recognizing when something isn't working, and adjusting my actions to try something else.

This leaves me in the place of being motivated, quickly able to move past obstacles and things that don't go as planned...

But with the emotional acceptance of how things are where the frustration is (for the most part) gone.

Not all of the time, but 99% there.

Also, the confidence that every goal I set out for myself in the past has been achieved (except for one), all unfolding when I least expected it; so that helps build the confidence that while we might lose a number of battles, we always win the war. So reflecting on past experiences helps. As long as you get the big goal, you might as well enjoy the ride...
Yes, I agree that learning to deal with the frustration was one of the steps I took. BUT, the first step was all about absolute necessity -- which set up my work ethics and habits. Yes, I was defiant and angry in the beginning of my journey. I was determined to succeed, no matter how hard I had to work or how I felt about the work I had to do do along the way. For my 30th birthday, I wanted to have choices in my life. Now, when I look back, I can now see that I did have other choices -- that I couldn't see then.

It was later that I did the internal work that you are expressing. I learned to channel that resistance into a less taxing, constant flow of energy. Anger is destructive over the long haul -- but, it's the rush of energy, coupled with absolute determination, that allowed me work myself out of my little corner of hell.
 

JAJT

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Pick up a new hobby unrelated to anything to do with Business.

When your brain feels exhausted from routine, it doesn't need rest - it needs change.

Give your brain something new to chew on. Learn new things. Make new pathways. Give yourself something NEW to look forward to after a hard day/week.

When you go from a frustrating day working on your business to sitting down to a business book to meeting up with other business folks to discuss business to watching shark tank on tv - where's the rest? Where's the change? You're probably even dreaming of work while you sleep. You're just staying "on" 24/7.

Go do something wildly out of the ordinary for yourself and relish the new experiences.

And also like KAK said - get used to the hard times when you are in the hard times. Entrepreneurship is about problem solving. It doesn't stop. You get better at what you work on but it's hard to wear every hat and not find new problems to solve almost daily.

Learn to be "on" when you need to be "on" and then go escape when it's time to escape.
 

Kak

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Pick up a new hobby unrelated to anything to do with Business.

When your brain feels exhausted from routine, it doesn't need rest - it needs change.

Give your brain something new to chew on. Learn new things. Make new pathways. Give yourself something NEW to look forward to after a hard day/week.

When you go from a frustrating day working on your business to sitting down to a business book to meeting up with other business folks to discuss business to watching shark tank on tv - where's the rest? Where's the change? You're probably even dreaming of work while you sleep. You're just staying "on" 24/7.

Go do something wildly out of the ordinary for yourself and relish the new experiences.

And also like KAK said - get used to the hard times when you are in the hard times. Entrepreneurship is about problem solving. It doesn't stop. You get better at what you work on but it's hard to wear every hat and not find new problems to solve almost daily.

Learn to be "on" when you need to be "on" and then go escape when it's time to escape.
Well put. Hobbies help. Nothing like being on the golf course alone or sitting on the beach with a fishing pole in the water listening to some music.

You need to build a foundation for the long haul. A lot of people who end up entrepreneurs later in life after 20 years of mundane end up with elevated blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks because they can’t handle the stress. You need to address it head on and build a tolerance.

A friend of mine, we will call him Don, owns apartment complexes. In the last 12 months half the units of one of his complexes got 3 feet of water. A few units burned down somewhere in there. And someone was murdered in the parking lot the other day. Nice place too! Impressively, he never freaks out. Be like Don.
 

Musashi

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AndrewNC made an excellent point. The solution is to accept it - and to remember that these grrrrrr moments will also pass, like everything in life. Detachment to your emotions is the key to keep the balance in life.
 

itsemdub

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sounds like you’re a Type A personality like myself who wants to give everything done AND do so in a rather timely fashion. As others have said, the best deal is to accept the frustration. I’m not sure how that may be best done for you. I think we’re all different in how we process it/deal with. It sounds like you’ve tried hitting the gym and that it may not be working. Is that correct? If so, have tried any of the different forms of meditation out there? I’m a regular yin yogi and it has worked wonders for me. It’s been a great way to de stress (which frustration leads to in ample amounts) for me. Meditation and meditation apps are also good for me. Hobbies can me meditative in how they work for you as well.
 
OP
OP
DStark

DStark

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Mar 3, 2017
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Basic questions here -- Have you ever gone hungry? Literally missed your meals? Worried about keeping a roof over your head and the utilities on?
When I was very young, I was the kid who could never go home. I was totally on my own. I either figured it out, or I starved -- literally.
So, when I was 19, and I made minimum wages ($1.65 per hour), I moved to downtown Los Angeles. I carried 18 units at my college, achieving a 3.9 grade point average -- while I worked 32 hours per week to be able to eat and have a place to live between my classes.
Absolute necessity is the simple answer to your question.
No I spent a couple tours of duty overseas if that qualifies. Been pretty much working ever since I was 15 years old. I then supported myself when I went back to school and got my degree in nuclear engineering. I am not saying I am not figuring it out and I know all about necessity and getting the job done. I was just looking for other suggestions on decompressing because I have this problem of never stopping until I get what I want.
 

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DStark

DStark

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Mar 3, 2017
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My advice is to get used to it. It is part of entrepreneurship. Literally. I jump from one frustration to the next until I finally crack something open and then there is nothing like the feeling.
I agree with that. I like the challenge of learning and getting a'ha moments. The frustration really comes with I can't seem to take a break. I have to make the progress I want/finish the task or I drive myself insane because I can't stop thinking about what I need to do.
 

RobD88

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Breathe...

Seriously, that's the best advice I can give. Frustration is a state of mind. Realizing that whatever is bothering you is a matter of your perception and how you are reacting to external noise. Slow down, breathe, deliberately change your mindset.

If some of the other advice here helps you change your mindset (i.e. exercise, new hobby, meditation, etc.) then go for it. But don't let any of that distract you from your end goal. I've found that most times you just have to look at things from a different perspective and push through.
 
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DStark

DStark

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Mar 3, 2017
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There is a Zen phrase that All Suffering Comes from Resistance.
  • I release the emotional resistance to what is, accepting it for what has already happened.
  • I released the self-judgements and emotions that came up when things didn't go as expected.
  • I realized that it's not the things that outside that cause our emotions, but something from within. Releasing emotions from triggers helps.
So through a multi-year-long inner journey, which was only triggered by a necessity of when things got so bad, I had to find another way; it led me to the place where things outside of me no longer frustrated me.

Lots of internal stuff...

But where that leads most people (and me for a while) was complacency and not really put into motion by anything. The frustration and struggle were gone, but the motivation and growth were sacrificed. You see this in a lot of spiritual circles.

The the solution to balance things back is to keep the resistance gone, accepting things as lessons that help me grow; and immediately recognizing when something isn't working, and adjusting my actions to try something else.

This leaves me in the place of being motivated, quickly able to move past obstacles and things that don't go as planned...

But with the emotional acceptance of how things are where the frustration is (for the most part) gone.

Not all of the time, but 99% there.

Also, the confidence that every goal I set out for myself in the past has been achieved (except for one), all unfolding when I least expected it; so that helps build the confidence that while we might lose a number of battles, we always win the war. So reflecting on past experiences helps. As long as you get the big goal, you might as well enjoy the ride...
I have started getting into the art of meditation to help center the mind and move away from the clutter of the mind. I do agree with the resistance it seems that the more your mind is preoccupied with negative thoughts you can't have the clarity to move forward.

It's like that quote from Einstein "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it"

Pick up a new hobby unrelated to anything to do with Business.

When your brain feels exhausted from routine, it doesn't need rest - it needs change.

Give your brain something new to chew on. Learn new things. Make new pathways. Give yourself something NEW to look forward to after a hard day/week.

When you go from a frustrating day working on your business to sitting down to a business book to meeting up with other business folks to discuss business to watching shark tank on tv - where's the rest? Where's the change? You're probably even dreaming of work while you sleep. You're just staying "on" 24/7.

Go do something wildly out of the ordinary for yourself and relish the new experiences.

And also like KAK said - get used to the hard times when you are in the hard times. Entrepreneurship is about problem solving. It doesn't stop. You get better at what you work on but it's hard to wear every hat and not find new problems to solve almost daily.

Learn to be "on" when you need to be "on" and then go escape when it's time to escape.
This is really my post is about. I can't do anything I used to enjoy. I am completely immersed when I am trying to learn something. If I walk away I can't get the problems I am trying to solve out of my head and I will obssess over it until I solve them. It can be maddening at times. I can sometimes cause me to not sleep lol

sounds like you’re a Type A personality like myself who wants to give everything done AND do so in a rather timely fashion. As others have said, the best deal is to accept the frustration. I’m not sure how that may be best done for you. I think we’re all different in how we process it/deal with. It sounds like you’ve tried hitting the gym and that it may not be working. Is that correct? If so, have tried any of the different forms of meditation out there? I’m a regular yin yogi and it has worked wonders for me. It’s been a great way to de stress (which frustration leads to in ample amounts) for me. Meditation and meditation apps are also good for me. Hobbies can me meditative in how they work for you as well.
YEah you could say I am a little Type A haha. Yeah I have been a gym rat for a long time, unfortunately I sustained a shoulder injury and have only been able to run. It always makes me feel great after and I go straight home shower and back to work. Do you have any meditation apps you recommend?
 
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DStark

DStark

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Mar 3, 2017
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Thank you all for replying, I appreciate all of the feedback and suggestions!
 

itsemdub

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@DStark man...the same issues happened to me when I herniated discs. I always used the weights to destress/deal with frustration. When I couldn’t go I had to find other things. Sounds like you’re still getting your physical with running so that’s awesome. For meditation apps I use Headspace. It’s guided and is a good place to start. The 432 hz bianural beats stuff is good once you have a foundation. You can find those on YOuTube.
 

WJK

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No I spent a couple tours of duty overseas if that qualifies. Been pretty much working ever since I was 15 years old. I then supported myself when I went back to school and got my degree in nuclear engineering. I am not saying I am not figuring it out and I know all about necessity and getting the job done. I was just looking for other suggestions on decompressing because I have this problem of never stopping until I get what I want.
And that start has put you in a place to find other answers. I'm not angry anymore and today I don't work out of that place. You don't have to either.
I have learned to see the world differently. Stuff happens and I have come to accept that fact. BUT, I have planned for those glitches and moments when things fall apart -- Plan A, B, C... a bunch of "What if? Then..." plans. Now, those stones in my road are all in day's work.
The change in my thinking has come with maturity and careful position crafting. Whatever happens, I can handle it -- hopefully with grace and style.
Saying all of that, I take a lot of prevention actions. Now I actively fix problems before they happen. Years of experience tells me what can go wrong with most decisions and situations. I can't make a decision without being able to handle the worst outcome. And I can prevent a lot of the negative outcomes from occurring. The best fix is to never have the problem in the first place!
Each of my major decisions or situations is studied BEFORE I drop the hammer. What can go right or wrong? What is the next step? What if? Then... One of my rules is to sleep on it before I drop that hammer. Most things can wait over night. Time and reflection are good gauge.
Routine decisions have an established process that I follow each and every time, checking off the boxes, step by step. I've found that when I don't follow that path, I end up with problems -- and I have some hair raising examples.
What about my gut? I have an excellent 6th sense and I do listen it. I factor it into my decisions. But, I still go through the whole process.
Yes, a lot of people around me thinking that over-think stuff and that my process in boring. I watch them crash and burn. Then they come back to tell me how lucky I am. Really????
Yes, to answer you main question, there are other levels past the stage of absolute necessity. And I can tell you that they are a lot more comfortable to live in...
 

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