Achieving Success by Accepting that Self-Improvement is an Oxymoron

[JulianCarax]

<div class="bbWrapper"><span style="font-size: 22px"><a href="http://eventualmillionaire.com/derekrydall/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">Podcast Link</a></span><br /> <br /> Careful here<br /> <br /> Ok, this might be a contradictory post.<br /> <br /> I recently listened to a <b><u>podcast episode of <a href="http://eventualmillionaire.com/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">Eventual Millionaire</a> by Jaime Tardy</u>. The guest of this episode was <u><a href="http://derekrydall.com/about/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">Derek Rydall</a></u></b>, who seems to be somewhat of a mindset coach for business people (never heard of him before).<br /> <br /> He spoke about the <u><b>law of emergence</b></u>, which is not about getting something from the world (law of attraction) but about <b>making things welcome internally and allowing them to come out from within</b>. According to him, <b>self-improvement is an oxymoron </b>because feeling the need to improve anything only delays true fulfillment. ‘Self-improvement’ is an illusion, a clever misconception since the Self, when truly comprehended, is whole and complete. Your circumstances, abilities and skills may improve, but who you are is already perfect. <b>The purpose of our lifes should not be to be happy but to start being, meaning that you become the person you are supposed to be by <b>accepting that you are already enough</b></b>. So it&#039;s a really spiritual approach that a lot of you might not agree on, but I found that a lot of what he said rang true to me. E.g. he speaks about signs of the outer world that you&#039;re going in the wrong direction.<br /> <b><br /> Derek&#039;s story in this episode is that he decided that he wanted to have a successful career, and thus he took action to become the best waiter ever at his restaurant</b>. Yet, <u><b>he was fired three times</b></u> because nobody understood why he was so friendly and helping (the other waiters were angry because he made them look bad). He kept taking the job again and again because he did not unterstood that this was the wrong direction for him, afterwards he switched to a much better paying consultant job.<br /> <br /> Thinking back, I had a lot of times in my life were something felt unnecessarily tough to master and didn&#039;t seem to fit well. <b>I kept pushing through because I thought that was a challenge I had to overcome, but similar situations kept arising</b> until I decided to change the direction. For example (non business), when I was younger I had the wish to be popular, but I was mocked by some friends and not taken serious because I was trying to be someone who I wasn&#039;t by acting cool. My first reaction after this happened again and again was that it was my friends&#039; fault (that they were just arrogant) and hence I tried to make new friends. The same result came up again and again. <b>Finally, I understood after a very long time that my approach was flawed. There was nothing I had to prove to anyone to like me, I had to accept and like myself first before other people could like me.</b><br /> <br /> Overall, I really liked this podcast episode, even though his explanations seem fluff at first, after thinking about it a bit it reminded me that mindset is the most important aspect of success, but that your mindset has to be aligned with the outer world.<br /> <br /> <u><b>TLDR: </b></u>Podcast episode about business mindset. Most important takeaway -&gt; law of emergency: self-improvement is an oxymoron, you are already good enough. For achieving success you have to align your mindset with the outer world by taking directions from the latter. Ultimately, have trust in that process.<br /> <br /> Looking forward to your (critical) remarks</div>

 

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[DaRK9]

<div class="bbWrapper">Reminds me of the book &quot;The Power of Now&quot;. Awesome read.<br /> <br /> Unrelated to topic, I can never take Eventual Millionaire serious, because eventual seems too much like &quot;someday.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;An Eventual Millionaire is a person who knows they will be a millionaire, eventually. But they are dedicated to becoming a millionaire on their own terms. They want an enjoyable business and an enjoyable life.&quot;<br /> <br /> My schedule is far from enjoyable.</div>

 

[JustAskBenWhy]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 26117" data-quote="JulianCarax" data-source="post: 496268" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=496268" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-496268">JulianCarax said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> <span style="font-size: 22px"><a href="http://eventualmillionaire.com/derekrydall/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">Podcast Link</a></span><br /> <br /> Careful here<br /> <br /> Ok, this might be a contradictory post.<br /> <br /> I recently listened to a <b><u>podcast episode of <a href="http://eventualmillionaire.com/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">Eventual Millionaire</a> by Jaime Tardy</u>. The guest of this episode was <u><a href="http://derekrydall.com/about/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">Derek Rydall</a></u></b>, who seems to be somewhat of a mindset coach for business people (never heard of him before).<br /> <br /> He spoke about the <u><b>law of emergence</b></u>, which is not about getting something from the world (law of attraction) but about <b>making things welcome internally and allowing them to come out from within</b>. According to him, <b>self-improvement is an oxymoron </b>because feeling the need to improve anything only delays true fulfillment. ‘Self-improvement’ is an illusion, a clever misconception since the Self, when truly comprehended, is whole and complete. Your circumstances, abilities and skills may improve, but who you are is already perfect. <b>The purpose of our lifes should not be to be happy but to start being, meaning that you become the person you are supposed to be by <b>accepting that you are already enough</b></b>. So it&#039;s a really spiritual approach that a lot of you might not agree on, but I found that a lot of what he said rang true to me. E.g. he speaks about signs of the outer world that you&#039;re going in the wrong direction.<br /> <b><br /> Derek&#039;s story in this episode is that he decided that he wanted to have a successful career, and thus he took action to become the best waiter ever at his restaurant</b>. Yet, <u><b>he was fired three times</b></u> because nobody understood why he was so friendly and helping (the other waiters were angry because he made them look bad). He kept taking the job again and again because he did not unterstood that this was the wrong direction for him, afterwards he switched to a much better paying consultant job.<br /> <br /> Thinking back, I had a lot of times in my life were something felt unnecessarily tough to master and didn&#039;t seem to fit well. <b>I kept pushing through because I thought that was a challenge I had to overcome, but similar situations kept arising</b> until I decided to change the direction. For example (non business), when I was younger I had the wish to be popular, but I was mocked by some friends and not taken serious because I was trying to be someone who I wasn&#039;t by acting cool. My first reaction after this happened again and again was that it was my friends&#039; fault (that they were just arrogant) and hence I tried to make new friends. The same result came up again and again. <b>Finally, I understood after a very long time that my approach was flawed. There was nothing I had to prove to anyone to like me, I had to accept and like myself first before other people could like me.</b><br /> <br /> Overall, I really liked this podcast episode, even though his explanations seem fluff at first, after thinking about it a bit it reminded me that mindset is the most important aspect of success, but that your mindset has to be aligned with the outer world.<br /> <br /> <u><b>TLDR: </b></u>Podcast episode about business mindset. Most important takeaway -&gt; law of emergency: self-improvement is an oxymoron, you are already good enough. For achieving success you have to align your mindset with the outer world by taking directions from the latter. Ultimately, have trust in that process.<br /> <br /> Looking forward to your (critical) remarks </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>No critical remarks. Achieving financial wealth is a function of helping enough people to achieve their nirvana. One - you can&#039;t help anyone unless you believe in yourself and believe that you can. And two - &quot;eventual&quot; in Eventual millionaire is a function of the reality that it take time to touch enough lives positively to facilitate your financial wealth.</div>

 

[SteveO]

<div class="bbWrapper">This is how I live my life. The only thing eventual about this process is your own mindset.</div>

 

[Mattie]

<div class="bbWrapper">In a sense I don&#039;t agree with being in alignment with the outer world. And the example of getting fired, is a perfect example.<br /> 1. The whole idea is that you have a false self and an authentic self. You wear layers of masks trying to please other people in the outer world. This is where co-dependents and adult children of alcoholics, addictions, and abuse get in trouble. The three poisons I think in Buddhism if I remember right.<br /> <br /> You learn to be someone you&#039;re not. Other people who are wounded project their dysfunctional reality on to you. In some cases like the man getting fired, other people don&#039;t like to see you succeed, do better than them, and of course get fired because that is basically sabotaging your way to success. This wasn&#039;t his issue, but others were uncomfortable with his mindset of success.<br /> <br /> That would be like me saying, I better quit coaching or writing because someone had a different opinion, gave me bad reviews, and didn&#039;t like me. I&#039;m in alignment with my authentic self, but other authors or competition may have a problem with me being there. So, I&#039;d have to listen to the podcast myself to get where he&#039;s coming from. That can happen at any level of the journey in Entrepreneurship. If you quit and stopped doing things every time someone felt uncomfortable with your presence, you would never succeed. Going back a hundred times sounds more like they weren&#039;t ready to let go of the attachment of being a waiter. You can say the same thing as in relationships. A woman and man keep going around in the cycle of abuse. Until they&#039;re ready to change, they&#039;re not going to let go, and do something different. There&#039;s an emotional attachment.<br /> <br /> I think what you&#039;re trying to say is he got in alignment with his authentic self and made choices that aligned with his particular path in becoming a consultant. That would be a choice to take a different route and do something different, instead of getting the same results.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 26117" data-quote="JulianCarax" data-source="post: 496268" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=496268" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-496268">JulianCarax said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My first reaction after this happened again and again was that it was my friends&#039; fault (that they were just arrogant) and hence I tried to make new friends. The same result came up again and again </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I can&#039;t say what was the situation surrounding this or your experience. From my perspective on my path to entrepreneurship or where I am today, I had to sacrifice a lot of relationships to get in alignment with my authentic self. For the simple reason other people do have issues, and not willing to do the work. I think many in here would say the same thing. As in you become the five people you hang around. You will listen to negative feedback and get in negative thinking patterns again, and sink back down. So, it depends on the situation. Sure, when you&#039;re around entrepreneurs with the same goal, you may have some adjustments to make, and sometimes learn to adapt and adjust, but that is quite different than saying an entrepreneur sitting with five other people that sit an play video games, drink beer, smoke pot, and watch television all day. In one sense you&#039;re learning to succeed and the other you&#039;re learning to fail.</div>

 

[Solrac]

<div class="bbWrapper">I wouldn&#039;t even call that a spiritual process. That&#039;s just waking up and realizing you got what it takes. <br /> Being shredded isn&#039;t what it takes, working hard everyday at the gym is what it takes. The best part is that you can do that right now, and don&#039;t need anything from the outside to make you feel better about doing it. Just do it. Hope that example makes sense.</div>

 

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[DrunkFish]

<div class="bbWrapper">I like this concept. I didnt listen to the podcast but the concept seems to be around following intuition.<br /> <br /> As others said though, not sure I agree with the whole quitting when bad things happen deal.</div>