Mattie
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The funny part is that I never gave up and kept on looking for the "secret" to wealth. Frustration set in and bad emotions came across. Hopes were converted to failure on a regular base.
This phrase right here. "I Never Gave UP!" this is a positive mindset. Frustration set in with emotions, because you added expectations to the outcome. You had a perceived a certain image within a certain time frame, based on what you believed. I think you have to understand the value is in the experience, process, and the journey. Not the outcome. You perceive it as failure. In my experience, I wiped out the whole concept of failure. Failure is it a negative concept. If I apply myself, and the outcome is not positive, then I'm a failure. Which brings your thoughts in alignment with a negative belief about yourself. Therefore, what you think has a cause and effect on your emotion. Which you say swung you into low-arousal, and then you probably beat yourself up with the negative inner critic, which then made you spiral more into negative thoughts and negative emotions. This basically is self-sabotage because you allowed your thoughts to spiral out of control, which you stated, "Hopes were converted to failure on a regular basis."
In the future: Set an attainable goal. Focus on taking action and what you want to achieve. Let go of the expectation of the outcome. Whether it's negative or positive doesn't hold the truth of the final outcome long-term. Short-term the outcome may be negative. This is normal in any business to have lows and highs in the outcome. It will constantly fluctuate throughout time. Look at the stock market for an example. It bombs out time to time, but it also has it peaks of high and low times. The outcome will constantly change by what kind of adjustments you make, what choices you make, education, skills, and application. Now you can't allow your emotions to be thrown out of wack every five minutes. This is learning how to regulate your emotions, thoughts, and feelings every day. I don't know if you know much about emotional intelligence, but I would start there.
What did you learn through the process? This is the most important part. I wouldn't say that is a failure, because you gained insight, wisdom, and knowledge from the experience.
For your ideas for Entrepreneurship, it doesn't sound like you have a definite goal to obtain. I feel you really have to figure this one out on your own, since you're the only one who can determine where your niche is and how you can add value to society.