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INTRO 21-year-old uni grad - frozen & stuck because I fear failure

marcof_23

Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Read Millionaire Fastlane
May 22, 2015
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Toronto
OK, here it goes. I know I was supposed to do this 3 1/2 years ago, but better late than never.

I’m a university grad, born, raised, and schooled in the hellhole known as Toronto. I majored in finance at a business school, & got a job as an accounting clerk shortly after graduation.

During the 2008 recession, I used to hear on the radio all the time about big corporate executives getting billion-dollar bailouts while millions of workers suffered & suddenly became unemployable, with the middle class never to recover. I was only 12 at the time, but I figured it out: working would never make me rich. Starting & owning my own business would.

Problem is, I was (and still am) a massive action-faker. As a teenager, I sold mine & my family’s old possessions on Kijiji all by myself thinking I was a “businessman” (LOL; my parents let me take all the stuff for free & keep all the money for it.) I read The Millionaire Fastlane at 18 & got onto this forum shortly after, & went to the Toronto meetup (June 2015). Thanks to the advice of the people I met there, I dumped all my bad habits (gaming, porn, Netflix, lying in bed doing nothing). Within a few months, I started going through a massive quarter-life crisis in which I nearly killed myself, but also re-discovered who I really was & began living true to myself again. I started (but never finished) a book on alternate NBA history that became pretty popular on an online alternate history forum, I made a decent profit during the whole bitcoin boom, and I finished my university degree in finance, graduating with my class. And then I got a clerical accounting job thanks to my mom. My action faking is why I’m writing this post right now.

You know why I’m an action faker despite knowing what to do? I’m F*cking scared to death. I’m confused, frozen, & stuck. I’ve come up with business ideas that I’ve written down on my phone, but after that, I’ve never even bothered to research the steps that would go into making them work. I’ve been in financial “survival mode” all this time (barely managing to pay off my university tuition, investing any savings I had in the Canadian equivalent of a 401k, & building a 6-month emergency fund just in case my parents croak & I need to carry the house). I live at home with immigrant parents who want me to become the model Slowlane citizen. I have a massive victim mentality thanks to how expensive everything is combined with wage stagnation (the middle-class squeeze; Toronto is one of the worst cities for it, making economic mobility virtually impossible under the old paradigm). I feel like everything’s just too competitive out there. I’m scared that if I fail, I’ll end up as a long-term homeless, which as a kid, my parents used to tell me, “Don’t ever end up like those F*cking homeless on the road.” I also have a massive need for societal & familial approval. I feel Iike I can’t afford to fail given the way the world works nowadays and my own situation, despite the fact that I know I might need to fail countless times in order to succeed as an entrepreneur.

But at the same time, I know... in order to achieve financial freedom & riches (and the life freedom that will result), this is the only way. The way I see it, the Slowlane is “survival mode,” the Fastlane is “abundance mode,” and the Sidewalk is just how life’s gonna be for the 99% at the rate we’re going.

I know MJ’s probably gonna ban me if he sees this rant because it makes me sound like a little bitch. Well, that’s exactly what I am because of my fear of failure. And at 18, I wasn’t mentally ready to execute this Fastlane stuff. But now, I am. By quitting all my bad habits & giving myself some nice financial backing at this age when most of my peers are in 6-figure debt (and sticking with my plans to do so), I’ve shown myself that I have the courage & self-discipline to do it & stick with it no matter what others say.

So yeah, here’s hoping this Fastlane journey either fixes me, gives me the money to fix my f*cked up self, or some combination of both.

Lehgo
 

MTEE1985

Gold Contributor
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Jun 12, 2018
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Most intros are mini rants, don’t worry about it! Great story and welcome!
 

Gary

Elevatin' the Celebratin'
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Mar 18, 2011
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www.theaclounge.com
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. You've shown bravery in detailing your troubles here on the forum. I would definitely agree that your courage and self-discipline are your ticket out. And a lot of people on this forum are here to help.
 

mikey3times

Silver Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
Jun 21, 2013
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Massachusetts
You definitely own all those negative conceptions of yourself. What if you disowned those negative things and focused your self image on all the things you do well? What if you saw a few opportunities among all those barriers?

I don’t know anything about it, but the alternative history thing sounds interesting. I can see it having a toxic side, but if it is done as pure entertainment and is transparent that it is fiction it could be wildly popular. Kind of like an alternate ending thing where if one important thing changed, then this is how the author imagines it playing out.

Why did you give up on that, especially if you had developed a following?

Welcome to the forum.
 
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Hong King Kong

Bronze Contributor
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Sep 29, 2012
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Everywhere
There is a saying in Chinese, "Failure is the mother of success."

Don't fear failure, as all successful people needed failure to get where they are. And so will you... Fail faster.
 

George Appiah

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 16, 2018
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Accra, Ghana
www.georgeappiah.com
I’m a university grad, born, raised, and schooled in the hellhole known as Toronto.
That's a new one to hear!

But someone tell me...

Is a hellhole above or below a sh*thole (Trump's description of African countries)? :hilarious:

I know MJ’s probably gonna ban me if he sees this rant because it makes me sound like a little bitch. Well, that’s exactly what I am because of my fear of failure. And at 18, I wasn’t mentally ready to execute this Fastlane stuff. But now, I am. By quitting all my bad habits & giving myself some nice financial backing at this age when most of my peers are in 6-figure debt (and sticking with my plans to do so), I’ve shown myself that I have the courage & self-discipline to do it & stick with it no matter what others say.

So yeah, here’s hoping this Fastlane journey either fixes me, gives me the money to fix my f*cked up self, or some combination of both.
An African proverb can be translated loosely thus... "Only he who climbs a good tree can be helped."

There are a lot of very experienced people in this community who are ready to help.

But you, and only you, can be the captain of your ship. You, and only you, can make your critical life and career decisions.

Have you decided on your path yet?

Be sure to share your plan and your progress with the community if you're going to receive the necessary support and guidance to turn your Fastlane ambition into a reality.

Thanks for sharing your story, anyway, @marcof_23.

And welcome to the Fastlane community forum!
 
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0VO

Contributor
Jun 8, 2016
37
41
115
Ontario
Welcome to the Forum OP!

To say Toronto is a $%!%hole is like saying Tokyo or New York is a $%@#hole. There's money and opportunity everywhere, theres knowledge everywhere... You just have to get yourself around the right crowd. You should be grateful to be living in Toronto and not P.E.I. or Nunavut! (Not that there is anything wrong with those places, just Toronto and B.C. are like the Hub for Canada.)

I know "positive thinking" isn't exactly a cure to depression. But I highly suggest you watch "Born Rich" at least once. (You can find it on Youtube.) It may help you understand some of your thinking patterns and habits, or lack-of.
 

George Appiah

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 16, 2018
202
396
185
39
Accra, Ghana
www.georgeappiah.com
But I highly suggest you watch "Born Rich" at least once. (You can find it on Youtube.) It may help you understand some of your thinking patterns and habits, or lack-of.
Do you mean Jaimie Johnson's : Born Rich, Children Of the Insanely Wealthy?


Or Bob Procter's: You Were Born Rich?




I'm thinking the latter.
 
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ManlyMansNegator

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Sep 29, 2018
211
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Australia
If Toronto is a shit hole you are definitely living in a false reality.Either that or a ghetto i havent heard of.

Exchange Failure with growth and you will understand how silly it sounds.
 
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