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Fell into the Video Game Trap

Trevor Kuntz

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How would you go about getting your friends/business partners to play less video games? I run my site with my brother and he's logged over 250 days (6,000+ hours) of playing time on Runescape...its sad. Trying to get him as excited about online business as he is about online gaming but its a tough shot. If he would have put half of those hours into learning and online ventures, no doubt he'd be killing it.

He sounds a lot like me ten years ago.

I speak as a mostly-stabilized video game addict. When I was 16, I played Runescape every day instead of visiting my grandfather, who I was very, very close with, as he slowly passed away from jaw cancer over the course of six months. Out of three siblings, I was the only one to not write him a goodbye letter because writing it might mean missing a f***ing quest. Today, it is the biggest regret in my life. I am sure your brother is missing things in his life and once, if ever, he leaves gaming behind, he will likely have regrets also.

The only way to get out of addiction gaming (or probably most addictions) is to find the base motivation that makes someone more interested in the addiction than in other aspects of life. For some, it is the communities they find in MMORPGs that they cannot find in the offline world, for others, it is the competitive nature of gaming and being good at something and accomplishing things, and for others, it is the pure escapism. It can also be a mixture of all three.

As I mentioned in my other post on this thread, it is about finding balance and trying to figure how to gain the same sense of contentment and adventure that I previously found in gaming and instead finding it in business. I still struggle to find that balance sometimes, and have to work very hard to not go to gaming in challenging times and also not to reward myself with it when I have huge successes.

Here are two things that have successfully kept me from returning to binge gaming:

1. Delayed satisfaction
I came to a realization that throughout the history of gaming, it has only become more compelling and satisfying over time. Games 30 or 40 years from now (when I am in my 60s/70s) are almost guaranteed to be phenomenally better than they are now. I would rather work my a$$ off now and reward myself down the road when gaming is even better and my mind and body are unable to do real-life things than reward myself now with games that by future standards are boring and obsolete and waste my youth and fall behind to the point that I have to spend the rest of my life trying to catch up.

2. Replacing rewards
I have always known that my personal primary drive in life is internal recognition of accomplishment in competitive fields. I really don't give a shit about recognition from others and actually tend to hide my accomplishments from others. In high school, my entire sense of self-worth was in competitive sports (football special teams and soccer). It was my addiction, and for two years, I spent four hours a day, 260 days a year developing my skills, getting down to 5:50 mile times and working my way up to team captain status. But then I tore my PCL at 16 and that was over, so I turned to competitive gaming instead, spending 4 hours a day and 260 days a year developing my skills there. One addiction replaced the other. Today, I spend 4 hours a day and 260 days a year on my ecommerce business that did 80k revenue last year (not exactly Fastlane, but I love it and run it while also working a full-time job). I also spend the least-productive 30 minutes of my day playing World of Tanks because I really enjoying using it to recalibrate and potentially defusing before going to bed. I've found my balance and am at nearly total contentment in both areas.

The hardest "reward" to replace is probably community. Runescape is a very communal game (or at least, was when I played), so your brother could have some very strong connections with people that he only finds in that game. If that is the case, the likely best way to help him out of that world would be to find productive business people that he can develop strong friendships with.

I'm not an expert, but I can relate to him, so I'm happy to give you any insight I can that you think might be helpful.
 
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JM35

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He sounds a lot like me ten years ago.

I speak as a mostly-stabilized video game addict. When I was 16, I played Runescape every day instead of visiting my grandfather, who I was very, very close with, as he slowly passed away from jaw cancer over the course of six months. Out of three siblings, I was the only one to not write him a goodbye letter because writing it might mean missing a f***ing quest. Today, it is the biggest regret in my life. I am sure your brother is missing things in his life and once, if ever, he leaves gaming behind, he will likely have regrets also.

The only way to get out of addiction gaming (or probably most addictions) is to find the base motivation that makes someone more interested in the addiction than in other aspects of life. For some, it is the communities they find in MMORPGs that they cannot find in the offline world, for others, it is the competitive nature of gaming and being good at something and accomplishing things, and for others, it is the pure escapism. It can also be a mixture of all three.

As I mentioned in my other post on this thread, it is about finding balance and trying to figure how to gain the same sense of contentment and adventure that I previously found in gaming and instead finding it in business. I still struggle to find that balance sometimes, and have to work very hard to not go to gaming in challenging times and also not to reward myself with it when I have huge successes.

Here are two things that have successfully kept me from returning to binge gaming:

1. Delayed satisfaction
I came to a realization that throughout the history of gaming, it has only become more compelling and satisfying over time. Games 30 or 40 years from now (when I am in my 60s/70s) are almost guaranteed to be phenomenally better than they are now. I would rather work my a$$ off now and reward myself down the road when gaming is even better and my mind and body are unable to do real-life things than reward myself now with games that by future standards are boring and obsolete and waste my youth and fall behind to the point that I have to spend the rest of my life trying to catch up.

2. Replacing rewards
I have always known that my personal primary drive in life is internal recognition of accomplishment in competitive fields. I really don't give a sh*t about recognition from others and actually tend to hide my accomplishments from others. In high school, my entire sense of self-worth was in competitive sports (football special teams and soccer). It was my addiction, and for two years, I spent four hours a day, 260 days a year developing my skills, getting down to 5:50 mile times and working my way up to team captain status. But then I tore my PCL at 16 and that was over, so I turned to competitive gaming instead, spending 4 hours a day and 260 days a year developing my skills there. One addiction replaced the other. Today, I spend 4 hours a day and 260 days a year on my ecommerce business that did 80k revenue last year (not exactly Fastlane, but I love it and run it while also working a full-time job). I also spend the least-productive 30 minutes of my day playing World of Tanks because I really enjoying using it to recalibrate and potentially defusing before going to bed. I've found my balance and am at nearly total contentment in both areas.

The hardest "reward" to replace is probably community. Runescape is a very communal game (or at least, was when I played), so your brother could have some very strong connections with people that he only finds in that game. If that is the case, the likely best way to help him out of that world would be to find productive business people that he can develop strong friendships with.

I'm not an expert, but I can relate to him, so I'm happy to give you any insight I can that you think might be helpful.
I appreciate the post and helpful insight! I had some similar thoughts...in the game he is super rich, has a clan (friends) he chats with all the time, and is the highest rank possible. He can buy whatever he wants, do whatever he wants, and other players loathe people like this. In reality, he doesn't have any of these attributes so maybe it's a way for him to escape his current social and financial situation.

Anyways, I will keep doing my best to motivate him to be successful outside of the game. I keep telling him to find a way to monetize his playing and how good he is. Maybe strategy guides, youtube videos, etc. Not sure what would work for that industry, but I wouldn't rag on him so much ofr his playing if he were using it to try to create real world success!
 

Trevor Kuntz

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My brother (5 years younger) sold his Runescape account for over $1,000 in 2013 and used that money to kickstart his own business. Your own brother might have that option should he find a business idea.

Just curious, what age is your brother? Is he still in school?
 

JM35

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My brother (5 years younger) sold his Runescape account for over $1,000 in 2013 and used that money to kickstart his own business. Your own brother might have that option should he find a business idea.

Just curious, what age is your brother? Is he still in school?
I don't think they go for those numbers nowadays...but the amount of gold he has could be sold for $2,000+. He is 23
 
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Woodsman81

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I had knee surgery 10 days ago just before I got it i grabbed a ps4 it has some ups and downs. When I am in pain it helps me get my mind off of it instead of popping pills but is becoming a addiction.

Sounds like we have a problem. If we could find a solution we could possibly make some money.
Maybe soothing that goes between the unit and the power cord that has a remote to control it. You can set it up where you can only play been certain times or only for a allotted time. I bet parents would buy this. My mom hated seeing me play video games for hours on end. Maybe it is just built into the power cord so the kids can't unplug it.???
 

RogueInnovation

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I find these "small" things kinda dumb

People all like "omg I wrote a list today!" "I turned off the game"
But it is necessary of course

Dunno why you expect praise, or it to be seen as wise
Its common sense no?
 

ButGregSaid

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I hate to spend energy by learning to be good in a game, as a result I rarely play games (with the exception of games I learned when I was young, like CoD or Total War: old games haha). This is a good alternative, but gets boring quickly.

I was an RTW junkie too when I was a kid... it was probably the last game I probably could have gone pro at... I'd rise through the ranks in the clans. I was stuck on it when the world had moved on to MTW - then I sucked. By the time I went to college, I started wondering WTF I was doing wasting my time spinning wheels for pointless clans. It's amazing armchair pride, that's for sure... but when you realize how far it it gets you in life, it sucks.

Agree with what you said - if you aren't serious, it's a lot easier to play than the 'build em up' style of today's games. You just go in, play a single bout, to blow off steam. Bam. Insta Motivation!
 
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PoGOOD

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I had to uninstall it today. I was still getting good work done, but I would say I was 50% efficient with this game installed on my PC.
If you buy cake from the grocery store you are going to eat it. Don't tempt yourself.

There are two different messages here for me:
1. The cake analogy is brutal, but absolutely right. No comments necessary.
2. I am more of a city-builder/strategy games type of guy and currently have two strategy games installed on my "work machine". Trust me - with so many different projects you "need to" handle in such game and a gameplay created specifically to chain you to the screen, there's even harder to quit once you turn it on.

I know they are there, but I don't even look at those pesky icons when I know the day isn't over yet. Knowing from experience I would sink for 3-4 hours to create anything worthwhile in the game - I don't touch it. And it's fine.

I used to have your approach to the "gaming problem" before. I cleaned my computer and sold Playstation, but it made me feel sad and miserable. Made an agreement with myself afterwards that I will treat those as they should be treated - an "after hours" fun to unwind and relax. And it works much better than total celibacy.
 

Dunkafelics

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I'll tell you all a little story...

In 2014: I downloaded a game called Hearthstone and played it quite a lot throughout the year while pursuing wantrapreneur opportunities of creating Kindle books. I even wrote an ebook on Hearthstone which sold about $300 dollars worth of copies. END RESULT: Gave up on pursuing the Kindle books when faced with adversity, a year lost in creating a viable business.

In 2015: I added Heroes of the Storm to the mix and was literally playing 30 hours of video games per week. END RESULT: No business pursued, another year lost.

In 2016: I managed to drop Heroes of the Storm and added a bunch of games from Steam to fill the void. END RESULT: No business pursued, another year lost.

In 2017: I STILL played a decent amount of video games even when having a newborn. The big difference was I also read Unscripted in June which really rocked my world and immediately pushed me to a higher level of maturity. The belief that you are achieving things in a virtual world, rather than the real world was a wake-up call.

It took me awhile to figure out the path that I wanted to pursue and I didn't completely ditch Hearthstone. However, I rarely play more than a half hour a day and have changed my mindset to find more joy and achievement from reading books and connecting with the world. END RESULT: Loss of wantrapreneur tendencies and the development of a viable business.

My thinking is that IF and only IF you have a high level of control over your life and have a bigger drive and passion for your business and your life, then use video games as a small outlet to relieve stress and all those other things.

If you are addicted and do not have control over the amount of time you spent playing video games, then you are going to be stuck in a phase of being a consumer and probably missing out on a lot of the best moments of your life.
 

Your Boy George

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Listen to audiobooks x2 while playing.

Change it from unproductive time to studying.

I will add to this. Listen to audiobooks ALL THE TIME, especially when you're eating.

How do you do that? Two words.

Wireless. Headphones.
 
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J.Sark

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I think Starcraft 2 represents the perfect video game. If you want to be a bit competitive, it's really exhausting, and if you get a bit into the game and understand the mechanics, strategies... that thing has to develop your mind in beautiful ways, it's like Chess x1000. And anyway, after a few hours of it, I'm so mentally exhausted that I don't want to play anymore (I haven't played in months, and don't plant to do it anytime soon, as I have bigger fish to fry).

Be selective with what you play, in my case I really believe that Starcraft helps you keep your mind sharp, you have to learn how everything works, learn from other people... it feels like work if you want to be good at it, and you really have to push yourself to improve.

I recommend avoiding endless games that just want you to play non-stop and grind, getting nothing out of it in the process. Some video games have the most incredible, immersive and beautiful stories that you will ever find. You can think about them as a long, immersive movie.

The Mass Effect trilogy, for example, it's an experience in itself, and I believe it's something everyone should taste. The problem is when you don't want to play a particular video game, but you want to play video games, just to kill time, avoid reality or escape.

That being said, you could learn some business related skill in that time, but you have to aim for consistency and not perfection right?
 

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When I play League and Overwatch, I usually read, work or do something else in between matches. Batching is an awesome productivity hack!

Work during play time?

This is the worst idea ever.

Many of us play
to calm down after a shit day,
to mentally shut down,
to cope with any type of pain,
to ESCAPE

It doesn't matter how intense the game is. It helps us to release steam.

You have maybe 1-5 minutes between matches that last 30 minutes (more or less). You switch your mind to work although you are relaxing it. How is that a productivity hack? How much do you achieve? Isn't it just so much better to get your work done and game in peace instead of switching constantly from work to play?

This will burn yourself out in the fastest way possible.

You don't get the only good thing about gaming this way. Escape

Sorry if I upset you
 
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Many of us play
to calm down after a sh*t day,
to mentally shut down,
to cope with any type of pain,
to ESCAPE

That doesn't sound like me at all. Maybe your advice works for someone else, but it doesn't resonate with me.
 

Knugs

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That doesn't sound like me at all. Maybe your advice works for someone else, but it doesn't resonate with me.

Thats because it wasn't directed at you ;)

Can I ask you a few questions?
1)Why do you play?
2)Does it make you feel better when you are upset?
3)How many hours do you clock in a week - If I take it away right now, what would you do and how would you feel?
4)Does/Did it in any way affect your grades/career or fastlane business? Does it make it better?
5)Do you sometimes play more than planned?
6)Did you lie or deceive in any of the questions?
7)What else do you do? work/school/Business.
 

AgainstAllOdds

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I will add to this. Listen to audiobooks ALL THE TIME, especially when you're eating.

How do you do that? Two words.

Wireless. Headphones.

It depends what point you're at in your journey. If you're in the "student" phase, then do that. But if you're in the phase where you have an actual business, then habits like that can subconsciously lead to wantrepreneurship vs kicking a$$.
 
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Your Boy George

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It depends what point you're at in your journey. If you're in the "student" phase, then do that. But if you're in the phase where you have an actual business, then habits like that can subconsciously lead to wantrepreneurship vs kicking a$$.

I think it also depends on what you're listening to. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet read all the time and nobody can call them "wantrepreneurs. I don't know if they're reading books like the Millionaire Fastlane but they're reading things that can expand their power at least.

I think reading is always a good but reading the wrong shit (e.g. 100 entrepreneurship books) can be a vice.
 

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Thats because it wasn't directed at you ;)

Can I ask you a few questions?
1)Why do you play?
2)Does it make you feel better when you are upset?
3)How many hours do you clock in a week - If I take it away right now, what would you do and how would you feel?
4)Does/Did it in any way affect your grades/career or fastlane business? Does it make it better?
5)Do you sometimes play more than planned?
6)Did you lie or deceive in any of the questions?
7)What else do you do? work/school/Business.
On a scale from 1-10, how inclined do you think i am to answer your questionnaire after saying I don't need your advice (which I never asked for to begin with)?
tenor.gif
 

Knugs

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On a scale from 1-10, how inclined do you think i am to answer your questionnaire after saying I don't need your advice (which I never asked for to begin with)?

Well duuuh,
As if you were really thinking that I was expecting you to answer the questions. You read them, you answered them yourself.
From a scale of 1-10, you already gave me the response that I was looking for.

I have never offered you my advice. I don't see where I have given you my advice. I argued why your productivity hack is the worst idea for many people who game.
Yet, you are unable to continue having that discussion and start making it about yourself, because it doesn't resonate with you.
 
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masterneme

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Have you heard about "the gamification of work"?

If you have problems stopping playing games, why don't you transform your work into one?

5 apps to gamify your personal and work lives

This is Jane McGonigal with her TED talk speaking about the benefits of her game (SuperBetter):

 
Last edited:

Your Boy George

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Have you heard about "the gamification of work"?

If you have problems stopping playing games, why don't you transform your work into one?

5 apps to gamify your personal and work lives

This is Jane McGonigal with her TED talk speaking about the benefits of her game (SuperBetter):


This is 100% true.

I can't even play video games anymore because my work essentially a video game. Video games feel like work and F*cking stress me out. Although, when I used to game I played really "grindy" games, MMOs like Runescape and RPGs like the Total War Games and also Roller Coaster Tycoon. Honestly sorta prepared me for running a business.

When I was younger I thought I'd never quit video games and in a way I kinda never did. My work is my new video game. But like 10x harder than any game I've ever played.
 

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It's addicting, rewarding, the graphics are amazing, and I could play it all day.
starwarsbf2.png


I had to uninstall it today.

I have uninstalled various games before because they were sucking the life out of me. I had to face my demons and the problem is not that they are installed in the PC. The problem was that I did not have anything better to do or no real purpose for my future. Now I am playing the game of life and the road is getting more interesting. No need for alternative reality.
 

The-J

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I honestly think some people have a problem with moderation. Some people need to cut things out completely otherwise they won't get anything done.

I've been enjoying Slay the Spire recently. It's not getting in the way.
 
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I've never been much of a gamer but I do get into certain games. Over the years I've been hooked on Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim, a text based game called Gemstone, and currently Overwatch. I try to make sure I don't play too much and not let it negatively affect other areas of my life.
 

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Confession: Star Wars Battlefront 2 is awesome. It's addicting, rewarding, the graphics are amazing, and I could play it all day.
starwarsbf2.png


I had to uninstall it today. I was still getting good work done, but I would say I was 50% efficient with this game installed on my PC.
If you buy cake from the grocery store you are going to eat it. Don't tempt yourself.

I've fallen into similar traps. My poison is Rocket League. Damn, I spent way too much time in that world.

Recently I found that the more motivated I am to achieve the goals in my life, the less appealing an escapist reality seems. I find myself wanting to leave the game and work on something that brings me closer to my ambitions. I do still have the odd game every now and then though.
 

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I still like the old Battlefront II. Haven't played it in 10 years but I could play it for hours on end if I still had it.
 
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Confession: Star Wars Battlefront 2 is awesome. It's addicting, rewarding, the graphics are amazing, and I could play it all day.
starwarsbf2.png


I had to uninstall it today. I was still getting good work done, but I would say I was 50% efficient with this game installed on my PC.
If you buy cake from the grocery store you are going to eat it. Don't tempt yourself.

That's why I made a vow to myself not to buy/install new games before I can afford it. First - success, Second - the fruits. Although, from time to time a reward myself with a mini vacation 1-2 days or when I'm sick.
 

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Unreal Tournament 2004 Onslaught is where my heart will always be. The best gaming years of my life. I was even in a clan and played weekly tournaments against other teams. Some of my team members even played DM for thousands of $s every once in a while. Every game after Unreal Tournament feels slow as molasses. UT was FAST. Everything happened so FAST. It was pure insanity. I even hosted a few lan parties at my house with it when you were still able to have a server for your own game. The golden years of gaming IMHO.

The best lan party I had consisted of about 15 PC players, and we also had 2 XBOX connected with people playing Gears of War. I had maybe 30-40 people that night and everyone playing video games until 8am.

The different games we would play at my lan parties: UT04, Fear Combat, C&C, and Team Fortress 2. And I had servers setup for UT04 and Fear Combat.

At the moment I only play games sporadically. I replay Doom, Bioshock Infinite, and am currently doing The New Order I so that I can start II.
 

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