How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

[swimkid]

Well this may have been the kick in the a$$ I needed. I just recently moved to LA about 2.5 months ago, and have hated pretty much everything about it. I am so sick of moving! I have moved 7 times in the last 3 years. I want to find a place where I can -maybe not so much settle down- but have a "home base" Make friendships that last decades not months. Establish roots. Enjoy my life. Be in nature. I feel alive and refreshed in nature. Looking at it. Being outside in it.

I lived in a small mountain ski town last 2 winters ago and this last year. Wanted to "follow my dreams" and hated driving 2.5 hrs to go to any kind of store, so I moved to LA. It is sucking the life out of me. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I don't even want it to get better, I hate it so much. Now I have realized that my dreams may not have been what I thought they were, and my priorities and values may have shifted. This probably coming from the last year of really taking time to go through a lot of healing and understanding who I am and who God is. (I was in ministry school for a year, just for personal enrichment purposes).

Part of me says, just because it's hard doesn't mean you aren't supposed to be here, or it won't get better. It's a major culture shock. The other part of me feels like my soul is being sucked right out of me and I dread just about everything. All I want to do is stay in bed. Yeah, that's going to help me accomplish my goals... being depressed in bed all day everyday. How fastlane...

I want to move to Salt Lake City. I love the idea of being close to the city so I can have access to more activities and shopping, but still living in the small mountain town and go skiing/hiking/other outdoorsy stuff everyday. There is nothing more beautiful than waking up in the early morning and seeing all the trees covered in several inches of pristine snow. I make excuses, am afraid of this that and the other thing, I don't know anybody, I'm not a Mormon, what if I hate SLC too? But what is my other choice? Try to make it work in LA and live somewhere I hate for a few years before I finally can't stand it and move anyway? What's the worst that can happen? I don't like it there and move again... it's ok to "make a mistake" Not even making a mistake, just trying something and figuring out what you want really. I'd rather move 4 times in the next year and find the place I want to be, than waste a year or three trying to make it work in a place I know I have no desire to stay in long term. There is literally nothing here that is keeping me here... the only silver lining is that... there actually is nothing keeping me here! I can make my own choice, own my life, and do what is going to make me the most happy and productive.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[rogen]

zen******* story makes me wonder, how it is, that these days, we have WHOLE WORLD in our hands (internet) and yet, we/I can't manage to fight our/my situation, being broke all the time, living where you dont like to live etc..

 

[mayana]

well, since that was my last food, and my last money, and I was only 19, I determined that No bear was going to eat my last food.

This part had me laughing until my chest hurt...

I agree 100% with backing yourself into a corner - don't leave yourself any options BUT success.

 

[wilddog]

I've been all in since I sold my Mustang back in August

Prepping to sell my Evo this spring to back my projects. Fastlaners love fast cars I see.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[JasonR]

When I hear people say, well I have a back up plan, I just think to myself, then your not really committed enough to go all in. your kinda sorta "hoping" it will work.

Zen told us this exact story a couple weeks ago at dinner. I needed the boot to my a$$.

I quit my job yesterday.

Thanks Z.

 

[mayana]

I quit my job yesterday.

Hell yes! Congrats

 

[Hassassin]

Good luck. Go for it, cause your going to be dead some day, and only you will have lost out on a great life, if you dont take it.

Z

Z, could you open up a thread and share more stories like the one you just shared ?
or maybe just an open thread about experiences where people have backed themselves into a
corner and used it to obliterate resistance.

What do you guys think ?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[JasonR]

Z, could you open up a thread and share more stories like the one you just shared ?
or maybe just an open thread about experiences where people have backed themselves into a
corner and used it to obliterate resistance.

If you search through Z's posts, you'll find a treasure trove of stuff like this. You can literally spend DAYS reading all of the top contributor's posts.

 

[Mexanik]

I'm still a junior student in this journey, but the way I see things is that not everyone can go all in. Afterall, most of us have responsibilities - family, parents, we have to take care of. Not every journey is at a point where you can surely tell whether it will earn you a penny. No one would want to go home and tell his wife "Well, honey, things are not yet working out the way they should. We will have to starve for a week, but things may get better soon". That being said, I go all in too, but for me it means:
- Work 8 hours a weekday (plus 2 hours spent on road)
- Spend some time with my parents and fiancée
- Spend almost all of my free time and weekends on entrepreneurial work
- Don't give up!

Sent from my GT-I9100

 

[stefan]

If you search through Z's posts, you'll find a treasure trove of stuff like this. You can literally spend DAYS reading all of the top contributor's posts.

Zen are you working on your own book yet? The Zillionaire Fastlane.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[JasonR]

I'm still a junior student in this journey, but the way I see things is that not everyone can go all in. Afterall, most of us have responsibilities - family, parents, we have to take care of. Not every journey is at a point where you can surely tell whether it will earn you a penny. No one would want to go home and tell his wife "Well, honey, things are not yet working out the way they should. We will have to starve for a week, but things may get better soon". That being said, I go all in too, but for me it means:
- Work 8 hours a weekday (plus 2 hours spent on road)
- Spend some time with my parents and fiancée
- Spend almost all of my free time and weekends on entrepreneurial work
- Don't give up!

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/sh...lection-of-a-conversation-I-had-the-other-day

Edited to add: if you have to be "sure" about something before you jump all in, Entrepreneurism isn't for you. You have to take risks.

 

[DeletedUser2]

The Zillionaire Fastlane.

if MJ will publish it. probably.



Z

 

[formynextsong]

How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

One of the biggest decisions I made in my life was one that had nothing to do with business, money, or the internet. It was one that changed my life forever. It was my choice to move from Chicago to Arizona. While a difficult choice in logistics, it was simple to make in spirit.

That simple decision changed everything. My outlook. My motivation. My mind. My circle of friends. My metamorphosis from young adult to adult. Elimination of distractions. I went all in. For you energy/law of attraction fans, living in the right place can allow you to resonate at the right frequency which fosters the art of getting things done. I can't explain this. It just FEELS right. Some of you who have made moves, will know exactly what I'm talking about.

I see a lot of people here complaining about where they live. They hate it. They hate the weather. The hate the people. The hate the available jobs. The hate the city.

And yet, despite all the things they hate about where they live, they continue to live there.

WTF is wrong with you? Why stay? Here's why: Fear. Comfort. Security. My lease. My mortgage. My job. My family. My this. My that. Blah blah blah. It's always some excuse, usually, one that holds zero legitimacy.

If you don't like where you live, you have the power to MOVE.

The only thing stopping you, is you and your weak excuses. What's stopping you is your preference for comfort and security over the daring unknown. Your dreams ask you to make bold moves. Staying put and status quo is not BOLD, it's more of the same mediocrity.

I moved to AZ with $900 and a car that didn't have a functional transmission. I shacked up in a studio apartment. I was willing to wash dishes, flip burgers, and drive cabs. I didn't care.

Moving to Arizona and succeeding was MORE IMPORTANT to me than anything. I wanted it BAD. I wanted it more than being "comfortable" in an OK job that was safe and secure.

Until the pain of living in your current location exceeds the perceived pain of your "all in" move to somewhere new, you will never make the move. The fact is, I'd rather live in Arizona and flip burgers than live in Chicago making $50K/year at some mid-level job. I wanted it THAT BAD.

Question is, how bad do YOU want it? Enough to do what others won't? If not, you're falling in line with the crowd. Fastlaners step away from the crowd.

For all of you thinking about moving to somewhere new, just f*cking do it. The decision is really simple. Don't fear the logistics -- you will figure it out. Step back and stop listening to the BS excuses and faux narratives that you keep telling yourself-- they're lies designed to keep you "safe and secure".

In order to progress to a greater existence, stop the lying and start the living.

I totally agree with what you are saying here MJ, but I am trying to figure out if me doing a sudden move would be irresponsible. See, when I was single with no kids it wasn't an issue - I could just sell everything and get out of Dodge. Now, I have two little ones completely dependent upon me and I am blessed enough to be able to work from home enough to survive but am still struggling with how to be able to stay home with them and support all of us in a cross-country move. I desperately want to move - I am in Missouri right now, so you as an ex-Chicagoan know how much it sucks here: the bugs, the humidity, ugh! I am driving a piece of crap car that functions but you are right in a way that I do have some fear holding me back. I guess the biggest thing is that I want to be able to be with my kids as well as work from home but I don't know how to switch just yet from self-employed (trading time for money). I am known in my family for throwing caution to the wind and doing crazy stuff (like moving away) but since I am a mom it is much more complicated for me - for example, if it were me I could sleep in my car or in a cheap crappy apartment, but with them I feel like I have to provide them with better than a gypsy lifestyle that I would otherwise not mind. Maybe I am missing something, but I am quietly building up my escape plan while the others around me (my family who will not understand why I am moving away with the kids from here and will be hurt that they won't be able to see them nearly as much anymore) don't have a clue what I'm planning. All I can say is I am very much interested in going 'all in' but with two little ones I don't want people accusing me of not taking good care of my kids. I seriously can't wait to leave this area though; I totally hate humidity and I do NOT belong here for sure...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AllenCrawley]

I totally agree with what you are saying here MJ, but I am trying to figure out if me doing a sudden move would be irresponsible. See, when I was single with no kids it wasn't an issue - I could just sell everything and get out of Dodge. Now, I have two little ones completely dependent upon me and I am blessed enough to be able to work from home enough to survive but am still struggling with how to be able to stay home with them and support all of us in a cross-country move. I desperately want to move - I am in Missouri right now, so you as an ex-Chicagoan know how much it sucks here: the bugs, the humidity, ugh! I am driving a piece of crap car that functions but you are right in a way that I do have some fear holding me back. I guess the biggest thing is that I want to be able to be with my kids as well as work from home but I don't know how to switch just yet from self-employed (trading time for money).

Going all-in doesn't always mean moving across country but in my case it did.

I'm 42 years old, married with two kids still at home. I strongly believe that if we stayed where we were we would likely never achieve the level of success we're striving for.

In fact, I felt it would be irresponsible to stay.

We moved 1,800 miles across country, in a 1997 Chevy with 250,000 miles on it. It took us 3 days travel time because we were pulling a trailer that was weighed down way too much. Once we arrived we stayed in a Motel 6 for two weeks before signing a lease on an apartment.

But you know what? It never felt so good to be so out of our comfort zone.

I knew it was a decision that will forever positively impact my family.

The atmosphere here blows me away. There is something about living here that make me more motivated, productive and happy.

I'm surrounded by like-minded friends and we all want each other to succeed.

My heart is not as heavy (some will understand what I mean). My mind is clearer. I'm way more focused.

It was not easy to come to the decision to move. It was out of our comfort zone. We had fear and came up with hundreds of negative what-if's and reasons not to move. We also wondered if it was irresponsible.

It boiled down to this...

Was I willing to let fear, "reasons" and self doubt hold us back?

 

[formynextsong]

Going all-in doesn't always mean moving across country but in my case it did.

I'm 42 years old, married with two kids still at home. I strongly believe that if we stayed where we were we would likely never achieve the level of success we're striving for.

In fact, I felt it would be irresponsible to stay.

We moved 1,800 miles across country, in a 1997 Chevy with 250,000 miles on it. It took us 3 days travel time because we were pulling a trailer that was weighed down way too much. Once we arrived we stayed in a Motel 6 for two weeks before signing a lease on an apartment.

But you know what? It never felt so good to be so out of our comfort zone.

I knew it was a decision that will forever positively impact my family.

The atmosphere here blows me away. There is something about living here that make me more motivated, productive and happy.

I'm surrounded by like-minded friends and we all want each other to succeed.

My heart is not as heavy (some will understand what I mean). My mind is clearer. I'm way more focused.

It was not easy to come to the decision to move. It was out of our comfort zone. We had fear and came up with hundreds of negative what-if's and reasons not to move. We also wondered if it was irresponsible.

It boiled down to this...

Was I willing to let fear, "reasons" and self doubt hold us back?

Hi AllenCrawley

That is very cool; I totally understand the feeling of it being irresponsible to stay. I know you said you are married. I think what's difficult for me lately is that I am a single mom with two little ones and have no idea how to make more than $15 per hour doing admin crap that I've done lately. I have had every job imaginable almost (waited tables, etc.) but am still trying to set up this fastlane thing since I don't have a man that I can depend on. I am not making excuses but I don't want to move out (we had to move in with family after my husband left me pregnant) and then fail on my own with the kids depending on me. I guess that's what scares me the most. I am trying to teach myself Wordpress and set up a website and read as much as possible to get some sort of plan - even if it's not perfect. I just want to make sure we don't end up on food stamps like everyone around here thinks is somehow an ideal option:smxE:

I guess I have a fear of failure because it feels as if I *have* failed and I don't want to give my family even more reasons to see me as that 'dreamer with her head in the clouds' because I do not think like any of them. When they see a rich person they are jealous; when I see one I think it's awesome and want to pick their brain lol.

When I was pregnant I even drove across the country from here trying to figure out where to live next but ended up coming back here until I gave birth because I was *so* isolated with no friends or family there whatsoever. I think I am getting stronger lately to actually move but I am trying to figure out how to not end up on food stamps or living in another crappy apartment with the little ones.

Thank you for the inspiration of your story...it is very encouraging and I am taking notes

 

[mayana]

I just want to make sure we don't end up on food stamps like everyone around here thinks is somehow an ideal option

I was a single (divorced) mom for a long time. I worked seven days per week at two jobs to make ends (barely) meet and I went to school just about every night of the week. I'm not sure when I studied and got homework done...lol. When I first got divorced, I would probably killed for a $15/hour job, just to let you know how much money I was making. When I finally got a job making a little over $16 an hour, I literally cried when I got my first paycheck. It was such an incredible relief after all that time of such hard work and uncertainty.

I wanted to tell you that before I go any further, since I want to make sure that you understand that I really do know how you feel.

I sometimes wish that I would been working on a Fastlane business instead of going to school during those years... unfortunately, it was before MJ's book came out, so I was innocently uninformed, even though I had previously started a few businesses. I had given up, since I couldn't find the right way to go about it. You, on the other hand, have access to these people on this forum, and MJ's book

There are a lot of young, single guys on this forum, but I don't think they make up the majority of active forum members working towards serious goals. Many of the rest, like me and you, have real serious responsibilities. Their wives, husbands, and kids are all depending on them to make things work. They TRUST us. And that's really scary sometimes. It's no different than the same feeling that you are having right now.

Honestly, who cares if your kids have to live in a crappy apartment (as long as it's not in a dangerous area, of course) while you work on your Fastlane business? They won't remember it and, depending on their ages, might not even realize that it's crappy. After you get your business rolling, you will be able to provide them so much more than you ever would have before, even when they are older.

Keep your head up and get moving!

(btw Wordpress is a great way to get started - you are on the right track)

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[formynextsong]

You, on the other hand, have access to these people on this forum, and MJ's book

There are a lot of young, single guys on this forum, but I don't think they make up the majority of active forum members working towards serious goals. Many of the rest, like me and you, have real serious responsibilities. Their wives, husbands, and kids are all depending on them to make things work. They TRUST us. And that's really scary sometimes. It's no different than the same feeling that you are having right now.

Honestly, who cares if your kids have to live in a crappy apartment (as long as it's not in a dangerous area, of course) while you work on your Fastlane business? They won't remember it and, depending on their ages, might not even realize that it's crappy. After you get your business rolling, you will be able to provide them so much more than you ever would have before, even when they are older.

Keep your head up and get moving!

(btw Wordpress is a great way to get started - you are on the right track)

Hi mayana! I appreciate you sharing that. As a matter of fact I can totally relate to the feeling like crying thing since I have never made more than this $15 per hour in my life before (except in rare case waiting tables on a good day or for a couple of songs). Still, as you know, 15 bucks an hour is very limiting, especially when trading time for money and not being able to work enough hours - and I'm trying to change that by exchanging my roadmaps like MJ writes about.

Yes, you are right - they do trust us, and it is VERY scary. Plus my family is SO not supportive so I feel like a salmon swimming upstream, but I'm oddly used to feeling like that more and more. What is that saying? If we knew better we would do better? I remember hearing it on one of TMFL CDs the other night when I was listening to it again. If I had had MJ's book before (like YEARS ago) I wouldn't be on this path now, but I'm so grateful to have it now. I am just trying to figure out how to implement it in my life.

Thanks for the encouragement, it is very appreciated. Sometimes it feels like I have SO SO SO much to learn on how to get this going and not enough energy or time in the day after all of the 'Mommy' stuff - I literally fall into bed every night after studying, reading, searching for how to put my own Fastlane puzzle together. I am so happy to meet so many cool people here who are willing to live - really LIVE - enough to go 'all in' like MJ is talking about, because they give me the courage to stop listening to those around me who are so judgmental and negative. The dream of what you speak of - being able to provide my family with so much more - is the biggest part of what keeps me going.

Happy driving! :driving:

 

[Worldisyours]

there a impluse approach to doing things and there is a smart way to doing things. when it comes to moving i prefer the smart way. You will be wealthier in the long run

why move to a city with 100s in your pocket and no plan,

when you visit the city, see the amrket, go home, devise a plan woth life/business, hit your target and make a smart move timing wise with cash in you pocket. Will take a bit longer, but will be much proper

 

[Black Wolf]

I still need an idea/service I can monetise.

As a web designer, I am thinking I do the whole thing of attempting to make sales with stuff I can code/develop and package on the envato marketplace (codecanyon for instance). But as a long term means of creating money, it seems like an already oversaturated market.

Hmm, maybe device OS themes?

All I need is a damn idea. Used to have tons... Grrr.

*Handbreak on, foot on accelerator*

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rawr]

So the first snowstorm just hit Chicago....

f%#k, this city was so much better in the summer.



I lived alone before when I traveled, it was fine then and when friends told me 'but you have a network back here.." i didn't really think about it. Now I am 29, and things like friends SHOULD enter the picture more, problem is they too live in cold climates.

Have any of your friends moved down to your warm locales after you had, because of you? Have you found it easy to make good friends after 30?

 

[Jake]

Have you found it easy to make good friends after 30?

I recently turned 31 but I've been bouncing around the world since I turned 18. It's never been hard to make friends, especially outside the U.S.

I guess work relationships could skew the results in earlier years but meeting new people is not difficult, especially now, so don't let a]the fear of possibly having no friends hold you back from positive changes

 

[SanMateo]

For all of you thinking about moving to somewhere new, just f*cking do it. The decision is really simple. Don't fear the logistics -- you will figure it out. Step back and stop listening to the BS excuses and faux narratives that you keep telling yourself-- they're lies designed to keep you "safe and secure".

You can't buy any better truth than this. My wife and I just moved, three weeks ago, from Colorado to Florida on the "all-in" gut feeling. It took us three days drive and we couldn't be more happy. I'm in the process of planning the next business move and she's loving being a stay-home-mommy. Life rocks!!

...as Nike says..."Just Do It!"

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Thread stickied.

 

[AllenCrawley]

Today my facebook newsfeed was flooded with weatherchannel and weatherbug screenshots from friends of mine in my hometown and midwest. All of them whining, moaning, complaining and cursing the weather.

Here's just one of those screenshots taken from my newsfeed...

It all reminded of a story I heard many years ago...



A traveling salesmen was passing thru a small country town and stopped at a mom and pop convenient store to pick up snacks and a drink. The place was an old building with old wooden floors and owned by a man well into his later years.

As the salesman shopped he noticed a bloodhound laying in the corner. Every once in a while the dog would let out a soft howling moan. The salesman came to register to pay. As the store owner and the man made small talk the bloodhound let out another painful moan. This prompted the salesman to ask, "What is wrong with your dog? Is he okay? He seems to be in some kind of pain."

The gentlemen said, "Oh, there be a nail that sticks up out of the floor board over there and he happens to be laying on it".

"Well he's surely in some pain. Why don't he just get up and find another place to lay down?"

The store owner thought for a second and said, "Well, I reckon it just don't hurt that bad."



If you find yourself not fully committed and doing whatever it takes to make a successful business maybe it just don't hurt that bad.



BTW, I'm thoroughly enjoying our decision to moving to a warmer climate. The 7 day forecast...

 

[Guest12120]

BTW, I'm thoroughly enjoying our decision to moving to a warmer climate. The 7 day forecast...

I'm not complaining either

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ubermensch]

How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?"

Yup!

One of the biggest decisions I made in my life was one that had nothing to do with business, money, or the internet. It was one that changed my life forever. It was my choice to move from Chicago to Arizona. While a difficult choice in logistics, it was simple to make in spirit.

For me, it was Chicago to San Diego.

I see a lot of people here complaining about where they live. They hate it. They hate the weather. The hate the people. The hate the available jobs. The hate the city.

WTF is wrong with you? Why stay? Here's why: Fear. Comfort. Security. My lease. My mortgage. My job. My family. My this. My that. Blah blah blah. It's always some excuse, usually, one that holds zero legitimacy.

If you don't like where you live, you have the power to MOVE.

Interesting choice of words here. Almost implies that not moving is a sign of weakness. I agree, and it's a weakness that can be overcome at any time. In many ways, the only people worth having in your life are people who share that strength.

Until the pain of living in your current location exceeds the perceived pain of your "all in" move to somewhere new, you will never make the move. The fact is, I'd rather live in Arizona and flip burgers than live in Chicago making $50K/year at some mid-level job. I wanted it THAT BAD.

Haha. Word. You don't get this kind of real, straight talk in Rich Dad/Poor Dad.

Question is, how bad do YOU want it? Enough to do what others won't? If not, you're falling in line with the crowd. Fastlaners step away from the crowd.

For all of you thinking about moving to somewhere new, just f*cking do it. The decision is really simple. Don't fear the logistics -- you will figure it out. Step back and stop listening to the BS excuses and faux narratives that you keep telling yourself-- they're lies designed to keep you "safe and secure".

Amen, brother. Btw, love the new site layout, but as you know, I need to change my password. Can't figure out how to do that...

 

[Steele Concept]

I'm from CT and i'd like my next trip to be to the USVI or Grand Cayman, but my boss/partner lives in AZ and I would like to check it out. Seems everyone here just loves AZ... I work remote and have another fastlane project I am working on so I can really move anywhere I'd like ATM.

Can some people elaborate on parts of AZ and their experiences?

Specifically I'd like to hear about:

Scottsdale
Mesa
Gilbert
Tucson
Sedona

Are some of the places i've been reading about.

 

[JasonR]

I just movied to Scottsdale 2 months ago, and so far I really like it. "Winters" here are amazing. Mesa is right around the corner, so not much different IMO.

I don't think I'll stay here for the 120 degree summer - thinking maybe San Diego. But, everyone I know here from the forum (and have met otherwise) really like it here.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AllenCrawley]

Just moved here a couple months ago as well. Love it here. I actually live in Mesa and there is a big difference between here and Scottsdale. Hint: you won't see exotic cars driving around Mesa We plan to move to either Scottsdale or Gilbert next summer. Likely to be Gilbert.

 

[JasonR]

Hint: you won't see exotic cars driving around Mesa

Haha - well there is that. If I'm on N. Scottsdale I usually see at least 2 exotics driving around. Lots of wealthy people in the area...pretty awesome.