Dating & Girlfriend

[JasonR]

@ChickenHawk and @IceCreamKid both made very good points - especially about where you're meeting women.

How many women have you actually met? How hard have you really tried?

You will most likely need meet 200+ women (or more) to actually find the ONE you want to be with.

What are you on? Number 4? Number 7?

Most guys I see who have problems with women are just not trying hard enough. They never put themselves out there, they never ask new women out and they never get of our their bubble to meet the type of woman they claim to want to meet.

Finding the right woman for you is HARD. Most things in life worth having are hard.

You've got enough advice in this thread to go out and meet 30 women in the next month.

Get to it. This is YOUR life. Take control and take action.

And good luck.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[IceCreamKid]

The right girl is out there. Chances are you're just fishing in the wrong pond.

Get involved in new and different organizations where you can meet new people. Discover new hobbies. Step outside your comfort zone and try new things.

There are so many new ponds within your own bubble, but it is just a matter of learning to let go of what’s comfortable and taking your rod and reel to a new pond.

I also think it helps if you go in with the attitude that you are just fishing for fun, not with expectations that you are going to catch the biggest fish ever and win the whole fishing tournament. When we're attached to getting a specific outcome, we tend to unconsciously manipulate the present moment and end up self-sabotaging everything. I could talk forever about self-sabotage, but that would lead to an entire novel of a thread.

 

[Mattie]

The right relationships isn't something you search for. The right relationship finds you at the right time and place. This is one of the biggest things we get stuck on in life is that we need to look for love. And fortunately, when we look for love we end up with the wrong people. What you're saying is you want a woman with the same morals, values, and mindset.

Obviously the right person will cross paths with you where ever you go. The opportunity arrives probably where you're hanging out and where great minds think a like. So, this could be many places, and I have no clue what you're interests are, but if you're social and network of course you're going to run into women. And I suppose you know exactly what you want when you see it. And when the opportunity arrives and it's the right person it won't be such a struggle or distraction, because most likely they are doing the same thing and understand where you are.

Women shop out of emotion. It relieves stress. Even if they walked around a store and put everything in a basket and then put it back the goal would be achieved. Most likely they are shopping out of emotion and not self developing or personally developing and using that as way to cope with life.

 

[Kak]

Hi Members,

I wanted advice on girlfriends and achieving financial independence (freedom). I read MJ's book 2.5 years ago and since then I created a niche software product that has been well received. Last year my income was $150K and my goal for this year is $250K. I am currently 37 years old and I do want to have a family. I decided to start dating again after a 2 year hiatus around 6 months ago with the intention of meeting my wife.

What I am encountering though has me frustrated. Most single women without children in their early to mid 30s in my area appear to have very high expectations. It's not unusual for me to hear that they buy $3k purses yet their salary is $60K or they want a Porsche Cayenne as their next vehicle yet they make under 6 figures. This just boggles my mind as these are intelligent, attractive women yet they just can't delay gratification and think like Side Walkers at times.

My focus right now is to keep growing my business, invest my money and reach financial independence but I thought sharing my life with someone would enhance my life experience. Instead I am finding dating to be a huge drag on my focus, energy and mindset.

I am starting to consider calling it quits on dating and taking a 6 month break as I feel dating is interfering with my productivity and mindset, yet I do feel if I met the right girl she could be a huge asset for inspiration and sometimes much needed relaxation.

In the end my aspiration for financial independence (freedom) slightly supersedes my desire for a relationship and a family but I don’t want to miss the boat on having a family and according to even MJ the definition of wealth = Relationships & Family, Health and Freedom.


Thoughts?


Thanks

Well this could turn into an argument, but I believe in a level of gender roles. Without everything in its proper place, it leaves room for disaster. What it really boils down to, in my extensive research , that feminist women are not good wife material. And before people jump my shit... A woman can be extremely intelligent and capable and also not be some feminist that wants to wear the pants, keep her name, control the money, and work some "career" just to prove a point. Men, you should be respected, but you need to be worthy of that respect.

I will lead the household to the best of my ability and expect my wife to support me unless I make radically dumbass decisions.

Best advice I can give you, if a woman you date resembles a feminist in any way... politely look elsewhere.

Now, I can honestly say I have never been truly happy with anyone until I followed a much more biblical path to dating. Opinions may vary on that one, but I have had it both ways and stand by it.

Remember 50% of marriages end... No one thinks it will happen to them... If you want to realistically expect a different result you'll need to do something very different.

 

[ChickenHawk]

It's not unusual for me to hear that they buy $3k purses yet their salary is $60K or they want a Porsche Cayenne as their next vehicle yet they make under 6 figures.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that I have literally never met anyone like this. I'm not saying they don't exist. I know they do. But it does make me wonder where you live, where you're hanging out, what kind of girls you're drawn to, and what kind of vibe you're putting out there. (Are you giving off some sort of flashy, sugar-daddy persona that attracts these sorts?) Personally, I think that any girl who wants a 3K purse is a girl to be avoided, especially if she's not independently wealthy of her own accord. If nothing else, you're wise to realize this.

EDIT: I just realized something. I HAVE met someone like this, except it was a guy. My best friend dated him for way too long, and it wasn't a productive experience. Run!!!

 

[Bila]

From what i read i really think you should date more, have more life experience it will give you more tools to undrstand the complexity that is human relationships.

Second, i think you should see beyond what a girl tells you on dates, you should scratch the surface and really discover who she is beyond the bling, beyond the looks, beyond all kind of filters by asking the right questions .

I find the fact that you judge these girls by the price of their purses very imature and i might add boyish ..... Imagine if a girl asks YOU the price of your suit and judges you because it's not expensive enough or too expensive ..... I call that shallow thinking which results in very superficial relationships

 

[Esquire]

A personal relationship is no different than a business relationship.

Asking why I can't get the kind of girl I want ... often ... is no different than an entrepreneur asking ... why can't I get the investors I want ...?

Well ... what do you bring to the table ...? Maybe you are asking for more than ... what you have to offer in exchange ...?

People ... just like businesses ... have a (metaphorical) fair market value.

There has to be an equal exchange of value.

Another thought:

On one hand ... you want a long-term relationship ... but on the other ... it sounds like you a laser focused on your business.

Might that be part of the problem ...?

No one wants to date a Limited Liability Company. If you are putting all of your time and effort into your business ... and giving "her" whatever happens to be left over or convenient ... I could see where that might be problematic.

Ultimately ... your inability to find the right match is not "their" fault ... it's yours. You have to hold yourself accountable ... figure out what you are doing wrong ... and fix it.

Or ... you could just give up.

Just like most wanna-be entrepreneurs do when the going gets tough ... they throw their hands up in the air ... give up ... and seek out a regular 9-5 job.

You didn't grow your business by giving up.

You will not acquire the relationship you are looking for ... by giving up.

No different.

You have to give it the same level of commitment.

 

[Member]

Where do you live?

Where are you meeting them?

Different demographics of women have different hobbies and places they go. You might be unintentionally filtering out the women that are more compatible with you by meeting them wherever you are.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[smarty]

The only man you should take advice on Dating & Relationships is this man right here:

His videos and especially his book "How to be a 3% man" have literally changed my dating life and understanding of relationships.
The only regret I have is that I ignored reading his book for about 2 years.
It is my third time reading his book now and most of the time, understanding women and their behavior is so easy, just like math 1+1=2.

Just yesterday I noticed something which really made me think how much this book has opened my eyes:
While walking on the sidewalk, I noticed a man and a young woman who apparently were little annoyed or butt hurt to each other. The girl turns over to him and says "Can we just discuss like adults?".

In my mind, this instantly translated: "I like you and I want to help you. But please don't F*ck it up & don't force me to dump you".

And honestly 100% of the mistakes Corey describes in his book, happened in my past relationships.
Love is fun & playful you can't approach it like business.

 

[jon.a]

Mrs jon is far from a feminist. Few men that meet her want to piss her off.

 

[ions]

Hi Members,

I wanted advice on girlfriends and achieving financial independence (freedom). I read MJ's book 2.5 years ago and since then I created a niche software product that has been well received. Last year my income was $150K and my goal for this year is $250K. I am currently 37 years old and I do want to have a family. I decided to start dating again after a 2 year hiatus around 6 months ago with the intention of meeting my wife.

What I am encountering though has me frustrated. Most single women without children in their early to mid 30s in my area appear to have very high expectations. It's not unusual for me to hear that they buy $3k purses yet their salary is $60K or they want a Porsche Cayenne as their next vehicle yet they make under 6 figures. This just boggles my mind as these are intelligent, attractive women yet they just can't delay gratification and think like Side Walkers at times.

My focus right now is to keep growing my business, invest my money and reach financial independence but I thought sharing my life with someone would enhance my life experience. Instead I am finding dating to be a huge drag on my focus, energy and mindset.

I am starting to consider calling it quits on dating and taking a 6 month break as I feel dating is interfering with my productivity and mindset, yet I do feel if I met the right girl she could be a huge asset for inspiration and sometimes much needed relaxation.

In the end my aspiration for financial independence (freedom) slightly supersedes my desire for a relationship and a family but I don’t want to miss the boat on having a family and according to even MJ the definition of wealth = Relationships & Family, Health and Freedom.


Thoughts?


Thanks

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DreamsCameTrue]

Meet 200 women is great advice.
Sit around and "wait for the right relationship to find you" is not good advice.

Also, I think you need to lighten up a bit on this whole thing and look at where the women are coming from. Women peak a bit earlier than guys, so they want to live the good life while they are young and attractive and people still are willing to pay them some attention. The clock is ticking on women, and they might think they are buying a significant advantage in life when they buy that 3K purse. Or maybe they just have no interest in the fastlane lifestyle. Most people bitch about the slowlane, but they are destined for the slowlane. Just because a woman is not a fastlane thinker does not mean she is not worth dating. Women see things differently. The fastlane mindset takes years to develop IMO. You can't expect a woman to just walk in and have the fastlane mentality. Most of the world is full of slowlaners.

Find a woman who has the fundamental qualities you're looking for, and let her find out about the fastlane from you along the way if she is interested. As a fastlane millionaire myself, I can tell you lots of women are curious about it and want to know more. Some of them have the aptitude to learn it. Rarely do they walk in having a fully functioning fastlane mindet. You have to be a bit more realistic than you're being.

Also, maybe some of them have more money than you think. Or maybe they TALK about buying a 3K purse but they don't really do it.

Lesson #1 in dating is this: DO NOT TAKE THE THINGS WOMEN SAY AS ABSOLUtE TRUTH. DO NOT TAKE THESE STATEMENTS AT FACE VALUE.

Typically, the things a person says in a dating or flirting situation is a loaded statement, with many hidden agendas. Men often don't like hearing about this, they're stuck on logic and tired of "playing games." Well the game is not gonna go away any time soon, so learn to play it or get left behind.

"I buy 3K purses" might actually mean "I see you are a wealthy guy and since I'm attracted to you I'm trying to build some commonalities and rapport." It may be a clumsy attempt at rapport building, but give the chick a break and give her some credit for trying.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Thanks for all the responses and feedback. I appreciate it.

I read all the comments, read the bold and determined article and watched the Corey Wayne video.

For the first three months of dating I was meeting the women on Match.com and Eharmony. After three months I realized it's extremely time consuming using online dating and I hired a professional matchmaker. I explained to the matchmaker that even though I made $150K last year I am only willing to live a $70-$80K lifestyle because I want to grow my business and invest my money. I thought the last woman she introduced me to was down to earth but on our second date she disclosed that she wants a Porsche Cayenne as her next car and wants to go on $20K-$30K vacations / year. These purchases are fine when I have achieved my financial goal but I am definitely not spending my money in this manner at this juncture.

Right now I am at a cross roads. Should I continue dating because I have momentum and feel my dating skills are becoming polished after continuously dating for 6 months or should I put my head down and focus again on growing my business and developing my second software product.

If I was forced to make a decision at this very moment I would choose take a break from dating and focus exclusively on growing my business.

Might as well focus on making more money and achieving my financial goal and then having a choice whether or not I want to buy a Cayenne. Right now I don't feel I have that choice unless I want to be a side walker which is an unacceptable option.

Was she a cool girl otherwise? I would not have dropped her for saying this if she had other good qualities. Lots of people have materialistic dreams. That doesn't mean any of it will happen. If a girl dreams of driving a porshe, I suggest you commend her on the fact that she has lots of ambition. Suggest to her that there's lots of great ways to make money and buy as many porshes as you want. Was she suggesting that YOU buy her a porshe? Cause that's a whole different story. I think most women will throw stuff out there like that without even thinking about it. Just remember, you don't have to spend a single dime on any girl that you're dating to have a good relationship. Lead with personality and sex appeal. I'm a millionaire and I spend zero on women I'm dating. I encourage them to be independent and they are very happy with that.

Leading with money will land you abusive women.

Leading with personality and sex appeal will land you exciting and independent women.

There's many shortcuts to dating and getting the hottest girls, but I don't want to get into it here because there's rules against posting about this topic on this forum.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DreamsCameTrue]

Attractive single women in their 30s are "probably" (more often than not) the divorcees of wealthy men.

They have become accustomed to living a certain lifestyle ...

Even otherwise .... Hot ... 30s ... And NO kids ...?

A woman like that KNOWS her market value. She would be a fool not to leverage that.

If you don't pay for the $3k purse ... Someone else will ... And she knows it.

Nothing wrong with that. Sounds Fastlane to me.

Here is a suggestion: Start dating single mothers. Single mothers (as a group) as going to be far more practical ... And family oriented.

Another suggestion: Get out of the City. You are not going to find "Down to Earth" in NYC. Spend part of the year living somewhere rural. Maybe the Carolinas (or something. Like that). If you want down to Earth ... A metropolis is not where I would start looking.

Dating and women are not something I would ever give up. In my humble opinion ... That is the whole point. Life is best shared.

I gotta disagree with you on this one.

This hunt for the 3K purse leaves women dissatisfied. They have some guys who they try to get money from, other guys who they care about, and then another group is the guys they like to have their sexual fun with. Which group do you want to be in??? Don't ever enter the 3K purse club, because you can only be in one of these groups at a time. When you buy the 3K purse, you exit the sexual fun club.

There's also high integrity women who are independent and have no interest in guys who try to buy their love with purses and shoes. I would say 90% of women find it unappealing when a man tries to lead with money. It's an INSTANT DEAL-BREAKER for the majority of young attractive women, especially women under 25. It makes the super uncomfortable. Then it's game over.

Also, the city areas are the greatest place to be. There's load and loads of attractive interesting women. Plenty of family oriented women. It's a all out feast of any type of woman your heart desires.

 

[goodfella]

http://boldanddetermined.com/pick-the-right-wife/

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FastNAwesome]

For the first three months of dating I was meeting the women on Match.com and Eharmony.

Online dating allows for too much fakeness, and wastes a lot of time for very small results. Exceptions are guys who are just spamming everyone with the goal of getting one night stands. That works, but for my taste that sucks too.

I explained to the matchmaker that even though I made $150K last year I am only willing to live a $70-$80K lifestyle because I want to grow my business and invest my money.

Matchmaker - that really sucks. And how come your income level matters? Let's see...

I thought the last woman she introduced me to was down to earth but on our second date she disclosed that she wants a Porsche Cayenne as her next car and wants to go on $20K-$30K vacations / year.

Don't be played a fool. Don't be nobody's walking ATM.

Reality check - none of these things you did is dating (online, matchmaker). So you haven't been dating at all. You've just met with some low quality gold-digger who's not even good at gold digging, so she needed a matchmaker.

I am looking for a woman who is down to earth with simple desires but who will have a fantastic life if she has faith in me and my plan.

That's why I wanted to find my life-partner before I become financially successful because I want her to fall in love with my character not my money.

There are many women like that. But it might take a bit of effort to find them, and it sure does take some game to find and keep them.

You need to step your game up. You need to learn some GAME.

And there's too much to it for me to write it in a post. But once mastered, it really makes the dating thing very simple and enjoyable.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Most women are willing to go traditional if they really like a guy. Women are very adaptable.
The foreign women thing is something I would caution you against, if what Rawr means is non-citizens who are looking for a green card.
They will get the green card after a few years of marriage and you'll wake up the next day and she will be gone. This is not a good plan A.

Dating success comes from developing a personality that makes women attracted, interested, and turned on. Money doesn't help much, shortcuts like a green card set you up for disaster.

Men look for a zillion different ways to shortcut this whole issue, but in the end it's really better to develop your personality a bit. It doesn't take that long and it works way better.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FastNAwesome]

I can totally see how dating can be enjoyable once you have attained your financial goal.

But right now I generally find dating to be distracting and draining. I find the time I give to dating could be spent on growing my business

Ironically, some of the most fantastic dating times for me were when I was flat broke. Completely. And many of my girls were successful in business/had well paid jobs/came from rich families.

If you can spark the fire in her eyes. If you can make her smile. If you can make her heart beat faster. Nothing else matters at times like that.

Dating becomes enjoyable when you become good at it.

I think you're just doing it the wrong way, and hence it consumes lots of your time and effort, with nothing to show for it. So it's normal that you don't want to do it anymore.

Postponing it for a later time won't do you any good. You'll just be older. And probably have more money, but if you want them to like you for you and not the money, that's irrelevant.

While age becomes increasingly more relevant the more you have of it. Especially if you want to be a parent.

but I justify this drag with the fact that I want a family and if I do find the right girl she could be a major boost to business acceleration.

That's the thing, it shouldn't be a drag at all. It should be fun. Your only sweet dilemmas should be which one of your options to choose. There's an abundance of women. And the only drag should be having to wake up early after nights filled with passion.

If 6 months of searching is giving you a sour taste, I'd suggest you re-tool your approach. You clearly want to succeed in this area. Taking a break will not get you closer to the goal.

+1

 

[Esquire]

Attractive single women in their 30s are "probably" (more often than not) the divorcees of wealthy men.

They have become accustomed to living a certain lifestyle ...

Even otherwise .... Hot ... 30s ... And NO kids ...?

A woman like that KNOWS her market value. She would be a fool not to leverage that.

If you don't pay for the $3k purse ... Someone else will ... And she knows it.

Nothing wrong with that. Sounds Fastlane to me.

Here is a suggestion: Start dating single mothers. Single mothers (as a group) as going to be far more practical ... And family oriented.

Another suggestion: Get out of the City. You are not going to find "Down to Earth" in NYC. Spend part of the year living somewhere rural. Maybe the Carolinas (or something. Like that). If you want down to Earth ... A metropolis is not where I would start looking.

Dating and women are not something I would ever give up. In my humble opinion ... That is the whole point. Life is best shared.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FastNAwesome]

DreamsCameTrue,

I am surprised you believe women are so adaptable.

He is right. This maybe should be the biggest takeaway here.

We are all affected by people in our lives, and we affect them too.

And I don't think (@DreamsCameTrue correct me if I'm wrong) he meant it in context of
changing her personality traits, but more in the context of
having her "playing for your team", accepting your reality and becoming a part of it.

Adapting to a new way of life. Your way.

Liking you and your dreams and wanting to become a part of them.

The second reason it's a drag is because I have to interact with side walkers and slowlaners and I feel like listening to their view points can unconsciously erode at my mindset.

For this very reason I don't like to even talk about business with slowlaners. But if you want her to play on your team, teach her, show her there's a better way, argue her points, and give it a bit of time too.

The positive in all this is I am getting frustrated to the point where I am considering behaviors such as approaching girls in public as something that is worth the potential embarrassment and rejection.

Wrong mindset.

If you act like a gentleman, how can someone else embarrass you? Do you think women will scream at you for saying "hi"? Most of the time it's flattering to them, and it's respected by other guys who can't do it - as well as those who can.

Also, there is no rejection. You don't "apply" anywhere, so you can't be rejected. You simply approach, intrigued by woman's looks, and interested to find out more, if possible. If she's open to it, fine. If she's not, fine, move on.

Regarding dating, it's your mindset that needs change, not the particular technique of meeting, so I think street approaches at this point wouldn't do you any good.

My suggestion - befriend guys who are great with women. Go out with them. Have fun. Talk to them, ask them anything you're curious about. Soon enough your views will change a lot.

Or get a proven dating coach to work with you. Or both.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DreamsCameTrue]

DreamsCameTrue,

I am surprised you believe women are so adaptable. I basically go in with the belief that people don't generally change. They can act / pretend for several months but then their true nature will eventually come out and they will bounce back to their original being and values. Brian Tracy says if people change consider that a miracle. https://www.facebook.com/BrianTracyPage/posts/10150439236973460

I went out with a girl last month who I liked, however, during our first date she disclosed that when she hears that one of her friends is pregnant internally she thinks "well her life is officially over" and cringes inside a bit. I asked her why did the matchmaker introduce us then and her response was basically "I might want to have children eventually." I told her how I ended a brief courtship because the girl had very high financial expectations $3K purses, $400 dollar shoes, luxury car etc... I then asked her how much are your purses and she responded with "do you really want to ask me that?" with a smile implying that she probably has $1K + purses as well.

I actually liked this girl because she was very smiley, smart, feminine, attractive and could argue her points well but decided not call her back because I don't want to date someone who doesn't have strong maternal instincts and sees children as a burden to her creativity and self expression.

I think I made the right choice here. Thoughts?

Thanks

Yes I think women are very adaptable. Once they fall in love, they have this whole "stand by your man" mentality. IMO women tend to be quite loyal and willing to sacrifice once they have that emotion of attraction and love.

The dates you are describing sound horrific to me. It sounds more like a business meeting than a date. You're never gonna get sparks to fly when both of you are just going up and down a checklist of likes/dislikes. I can't blame you tho, this is what our society tells us to do.

 

[Luffy]

Since you're already down about dating from your bad experiences, I'd say focus on your business. Do what works, don't waste time dating untill you are where you want to be financially. As a man, you can be in your 40's and still be good to marry and have kids. Hell I know a man in his 70's now who married a woman in her 20's and they have a bunch of kids together. It's good you want a family but there is no rush.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ions]

Thanks for everyone's feedback. I decided to hang in there a bit longer. I will be seeing Porsche girl this week and I will be calling a new girl tonight. If nothing develops with these two girls I will then take a break from dating and focus on my business.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ChrisJTurner]

the single mother that i am wants to tell you to go f...ck yourself but since i am a nice lady here a zen official reply ( insert fake smile here) :
Judging people from their social status, color, race, religion is bad. You have every right to want to date whomever you want, just dont spill your venim close enough that i can read it.
Statements like these can be hurtful to others, keep your opinion private.
Imagine if i replace single mothers with : black, jewish, ....gingers ( which i refuse to date ...you get my point.

You're more than entitled to tell me to go f*ck myself, its not likely to effect me; my point still stands.

All I said was "I refuse to date single mothers unless they have their sh*t sorted"
Nothing venomous with that and it wasn't aimed at you personally.
Its a judgement based on my experience and it also extends to any woman who I date regardless of race or religion.

Or perhaps I should just date a broke a$$ single mother so I can be politically correct because according to you, I cant judge anyone who I date.

My life, my opinion.. get over it

 

[Rawr]

I'm going to say something that US people might not be sure how to understand.

If you're trying to get a partner for life, you must know how to direct her. At your age its harder, as it is easier with girls 22-26 year old.

but i think it is possible at any time when she realizes youre the one leading. If she has insane expectations and insist on it, next.

 

[Hassen]

Honestly I think women who sign up for matchmaker services to be included in the potential matches pool are all gold diggers. Just my personal opinion, could very well be wrong and no offense to anyone.

I mean, if a woman is financially successful and needs to find men of even higher profile, she might as well hire a matchmaker; but speaking as a female and not an especially attractive one, I don't believe many women lack pursuing suitors wherever they go. When I network professionally there would be guys interested in asking me out, and even when I take public transport guys strike up conversations with me and ask for my number. It simply makes no sense for a woman to go out of her way to sign up to be selected by a matchmaker services if she didn't have her eyes set on the money. I don't think many guys realize how different (read: easier) dating is for gals.

OP, I would say that avoid most girls like hell anyway, most of them have no sense at all and they value material junk at a level so high that most men cannot possibly comprehend.
Instead of online or through a matchmaker, why not consider meeting women through family & friends or interest/networking events? That way you'd more likely meet someone down-to-earth or with shared interests and values.
I also don't know where you're based, but sometimes geography place a role as well. There are the urban girls who only care about what shiny bling bling stuff they are buying next, and there are the sweet rural girls whose biggest concern is to catch a nice husband, get married and have children. Sweeping generalizations of course, but just my 2 cents.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ions]

She was / is actually a pretty cool girl otherwise and I didn't close the book on her yet. She is very maternal and I believe she would be devoted to raising a family and be very loyal and supportive. She is intelligent, feminine and has confidence. I didn't find her stunning in the looks department but she is not unattractive. The type of vacations she likes (African Safaris) doesn't bother me that much because it's something I would totally enjoy doing myself but not sure if I am prepared to dish out $10-20K this year. So on one hand the fact that she went on those vacations and paid for them herself is a positive and demonstrates her values and character. Her purse range is in the $500 department which is acceptable as long as she only buys 1-2 / year which she said she does. (Weird discussion on a second date I know but she brought up these topics and she really valued that we could have this conversation.) The porsche thing threw me off the most because I find it to be such a stupid purchase if one can't afford it and she totally can't afford it with her salary. I don't believe she was suggesting I buy her the porsche but I think she was trying to communicate some of her life-style desires if we were to be together. She doesn't believe in making huge sacrifices in the present for the future. She has a decent job and is slowlaner.

"I suggest you commend her on the fact that she has lots of ambition."

Yes that is actually a positive. I like girls that have high expectations because it motivates me but it would be nice if they had some patience and could delay gratification. Instead of going on an African Safari this year, why can't we hang out at my uncle's beautiful cottage and use that money for investments so in 5 years we can go on a 6 month Safari. Also it would be nice to believe that she would still love me if my business went sour and I would have to rebuild.

I think I just have to be more firm and say listen this is how it's going to be. You are either in or you are out. It probably wasn't wise to have such a deep conversation on the second date. Dating was much easier when I was younger because I was willing to date girls for various reasons. This time around I am just looking for a wife and really just want to get back to focusing on my business and relaxing with her at the end of the day.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Yeah you should hang out with her a few more times and meet some other girls as well so you can find out what floats your boat.

I think you just got too ahead of yourself with all this.

If you get in the relationship, just be sure you have most of the power (women like guys who keep most of the power and don't take any crap), and then you can call the shots on all the vacations and cars etc. You don't ever have to pay her share or buy her a car, so it shouldn't be a major issue for you.

If you look for a woman who has a fully developed FastLane mindset, you're really gonna shrink your strike zone. Then dating will be way more time consuming cause you're looking for a needle in a hay-planet. If financial mindset is that important to you, just look for a woman who is open to learning. Most women are highly adaptable once they are in a relationship. They change their mindset pretty quickly if they see that you have a good idea.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mattie]

I think I just have to be more firm and say listen this is how it's going to be. You are either in or you are out. It probably wasn't wise to have such a deep conversation on the second date. Dating was much easier when I was younger because I was willing to date girls for various reasons. This time around I am just looking for a wife and really just want to get back to focusing on my business and relaxing with her at the end of the day.

It is wise, because the faster you find out what a person is like, the faster you know whether to waste your time or not. The more questions you ask the better. The more you know the better. While your motivation is marriage. You really have to shut off that point of view and be objective. I suppose I'm really old fashion, but today in this world, I would be concentrating on the friendship part of it, before jumping any further. The strong foundation lasts a life time. You speed in dating and go to fast you crash. While fast lane is necessary for business, side walk is necessary for relationships.

I watch to many people be stupid and jump for any women and or man and a month later complain about all the money they've lost, or they've move across the states, gave everything up, or made other bad choices because they thought they found their "Thee Soul Mate.' "The love of their life." "They're in love." Sorry to say, but love evolves over a long period of time and through the hard times as well as the good times. And I never looked at the statistics, but I can tell you just from talking to thousands since 2007 online they're is only a small portion of people that really are wanting a real relationship versus just a big bang and good time.

And people get caught up on the waiting. Everyone is waiting for the Knight and shining armor to come rescue them. And I tell these women all the time until they've become Mrs. Right, they're not going to find Mr. Right. They have to be developed, such as in your case. And like the other day I got into it with another coach because he doesn't like I'm teaching people to change and develop. In his opinion they don't want to change, and be fixed. That's another story, but the point being even the men, I say the same thing. For example: A man has a wife and children. In a band. And asking me advice about relationships with other woman. And he's looking still for another woman while he's already married, and his wife is waiting for him to notice her.

People get in relationships for the wrong the reason and not personally developed or mature enough to hand them. I wouldn't worry about rushing it until you know her well enough.

 

[Mrs. BRKb]

Keep the faith. Happy endings are out there somewhere, someday.

‘Booyah’ at the End of This First Date - Jim Cramer Marries Lisa Detwiler
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/fashion/weddings/19DetwilerCramer.html

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.