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Work/life balance

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Paul David

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I’m finding the work/life balance really difficult to adjust to.

It’s nearly the end of another weekend and this is how I’ve spent my weekend.

Friday night my Wife was out for works meal whilst I minded my 7 and 9 year old boys. They played fortnite in different rooms until it was bed time. I watched something on TV.

Saturday. Got up and exercised which I do 4-6 times a week. My wife was hungover in bed until after midday (very unusual but she’s had some stress in work so I thought I’d leave her be). Saturday afternoon I attended football (soccer) Match as I do every weekend my team plays at Home.

Saturday night kids again on fortnite in different rooms, my wife in living room looking at her phone on one couch and me on another. Around 9pm I just took myself to bed. Sick of looking at my wife on her phone looking at shopping sites or Facebook. Sick of trying to fill the time watching tv.

Sunday. Got up and again whilst kids on fortnite spent a couple of hours on phone/couch. Wife was exercising in kitchen. Midday we took kids to climbing centre which was good to get them out the house and doing something active. They enjoyed it.
Then a trip to the supermarket to stock up on weeks food.

Now Sunday night. Kids on fortnite, wife on couch with real housewives of Beverly Hills on tv. I’ve just took myself to bed just to think for an hour. There’s got to be more to life than this surely.

I work from home all week alone and most weeks Monday to Friday apart from seeing other parents on school run i socialise and speak to nobody else. Maybe it’s something to do with that. I was invited to go out last night with my friends but due to our financial situation I thought I’d decline, plus I knew my wife would have something negative to say about it. Citing money.

Maybe I’m annoyed because i haven’t had any alcohol this weekend like I usually do or maybe I need to just work more instead. Bored shitless at the moment that’s for sure when it comes to life balance.


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Bryan James

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Do something out of the ordinary and communicate your situation with your wife. I'm not married and have no kids so I can't exactly relate to your situation, although I'm no stranger to boredom and feeling stuck. When that happens to me, I tend to try something I've never done before or travel (if possible). Shake things up a bit and push yourself to accomplish something. Discipline equals freedom.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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Do something out of the ordinary and communicate your situation with your wife. I'm not married and have no kids so I can't exactly relate to your situation, although I'm no stranger to boredom and feeling stuck. When that happens to me, I tend to try something I've never done before or travel (if possible). Shake things up a bit and push yourself to accomplish something. Discipline equals freedom.
Thanks for your reply. We’re actually going to Spain in 3 weeks and have 4-5 holidays a year which we are all grateful for and enjoy. It’s the time in between that I have difficulty with!


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Bryan James

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At the risk of sounding cliche, I meditate quite often in my down time which, over time, has come to benefit me in very noticeable ways. Perhaps that could help?
 

MoneyPhantom

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Is there either way that you could use your weekend time productively or socialise more with your family?

I can read loneliness and maybe also a little bit of boredom between the lines. You're at home mostly alone the whole week days and then, on the weekend everyone of you is looking at an other screen. Wouldn't it be better to power off TV and phones and talk to each other? Or cook something nice together? Invite some friends over?

If that indeed is no option for the other ones, then I'd at least use that time to work on myself and my business. So at least the time's not lost and you have accomplished something.
 

Neville Medhora

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Become part of a co-working space, or invite a friend to work with you on certain days. You don't need to go to coffee shops (super expensive), you just need to be around OTHER PEOPLE.

Try the public library, for years I would go all the time and work there. Fast wifi, lots of books, quiet, bathrooms, and best of all no pressure to buy crazy expensive coffee and food.

Dumb post I did on this a while ago....but I estimate I've got THOUSANDS of free dollars of resources and co-working from the library.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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Become part of a co-working space, or invite a friend to work with you on certain days. You don't need to go to coffee shops (super expensive), you just need to be around OTHER PEOPLE.

Try the public library, for years I would go all the time and work there. Fast wifi, lots of books, quiet, bathrooms, and best of all no pressure to buy crazy expensive coffee and food.

Dumb post I did on this a while ago....but I estimate I've got THOUSANDS of free dollars of resources and co-working from the library.
The weekdays don’t really bother me. I’m working and don’t get time to think. It’s the weekends when I want to have a break from the boredom sets in.


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MTEE1985

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The weekdays don’t really bother me. I’m working and don’t get time to think. It’s the weekends when I want to have a break from the boredom sets in.


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This is actually pretty simple. (Not to be confused with easy) we now all know how you DON’T want your weekends to look. You need to figure out what you do want them to look like. Write it down. What activities do you do as a family? Do you go on a date with your wife? Do you both turn phones off? Turn off Fortnite for a few hours? Figure out your ideal weekend and then work backward from there. They won’t all be ideal but you’ll be moving in the right direction. And it will involve a conversation with your wife about spending less time on her phone as well, but I promise you at the end of her life she isn’t going to be wishing she spent more time on Facebook or watching fake reality TV.

Likewise, it may involve you not going to every single futbol/soccer match when your home team is playing at home. Get creative, it doesn’t need to be expensive at all to do things together.
 
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Rawseed

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@Paul David Have you considered starting a business with your sons? Lemonade stand? Car Wash? Lawn mower service? Vending machines? Selling inexpensive Snickers bars from Costcos?

I did the Snickers thing growing up. I had a 100% mark up, but I ate half the bars myself. So, I made no profit. But, I didn't lose money. ;)

It would be a great way to teach them responsibility, business skills, marketing skills, accounting skills, money management, etc.

You'd get them in the fastlane early.

Teaching is also the best way to learn. So, you'll learn a lot yourself.

You could use books like these as your curriculum:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/076118080X/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1635764726/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692004246/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1118494598/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
 

Rawseed

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I had to look up Fortnite. Never heard of it. I was wondering why your kids wanted to play in forts by themselves. I understand now.

Since they love video games, why not learn to code with them? You all can create video games together. And all three of you will learn a marketable skill.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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This is actually pretty simple. (Not to be confused with easy) we now all know how you DON’T want your weekends to look. You need to figure out what you do want them to look like. Write it down. What activities do you do as a family? Do you go on a date with your wife? Do you both turn phones off? Turn off Fortnite for a few hours? Figure out your ideal weekend and then work backward from there. They won’t all be ideal but you’ll be moving in the right direction. And it will involve a conversation with your wife about spending less time on her phone as well, but I promise you at the end of her life she isn’t going to be wishing she spent more time on Facebook or watching fake reality TV.

Likewise, it may involve you not going to every single futbol/soccer match when your home team is playing at home. Get creative, it doesn’t need to be expensive at all to do things together.
Thanks, some very valid points.
 

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Paul David

Paul David

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@Paul David Have you considered starting a business with your sons? Lemonade stand? Car Wash? Lawn mower service? Vending machines? Selling inexpensive Snickers bars from Costcos?

I did the Snickers thing growing up. I had a 100% mark up, but I ate half the bars myself. So, I made no profit. But, I didn't lose money. ;)

It would be a great way to teach them responsibility, business skills, marketing skills, accounting skills, money management, etc.

You'd get them in the fastlane early.

Teaching is also the best way to learn. So, you'll learn a lot yourself.

You could use books like these as your curriculum:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/076118080X/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1635764726/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692004246/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1118494598/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
I do actually run my business from home. I've never actually "worked" for anyone since i left school 22 years ago. I am currently in the process of launching a new brand. One of the products my 7 year old son has designed for himself and my factory is making him a sample as a gift.
Hopefully it will arrive before our holiday in 3 weeks because he can take it with him!
 

SteveO

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Do what you want and enjoy what you do. Nothing more than that. If you are bored, that is on you...
 

The Abundant Man

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Do you guys have any other hobbies besides fortnite and TV?

I always Google my town and events. Then it pops up a list of events for the weekend in my town. Then I go to the events. A lot of times I will go to Chicago and explore around and meet random people even if it's by myself. (Thinking about starting a vlog)

But I also have hobbies such as playing guitar and MMA.

I personally find TV boring and .... mediocre. I swear TV, video games are huge time sucks.
 

AlessioLC

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Work Life Balance is something very complicated, i own several businesses and it takes time to manage everything and at my age (21yo), finding a girlfriend who is comprehensive and patient is very difficult.

I hardened myself to not compare myself to others youngsters that have the easy life, the girlfriend, the weekends away, even if i know that i wouldn't have their life 100% sure of that because without entrepreneurship i'm kind of empty..i miss the good times with a girlfriend, the activities.
You can have both, it's just hard to find the right person, but it's an other subject.

Respecting the principal subject, it's your choice to have a basic life, but i don't know anyone which is successful that has not sacrified it's family times / period of his life to have it better after.

Opportunity cost.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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Do you guys have any other hobbies besides fortnite and TV?

I always Google my town and events. Then it pops up a list of events for the weekend in my town. Then I go to the events. A lot of times I will go to Chicago and explore around and meet random people even if it's by myself. (Thinking about starting a vlog)

But I also have hobbies such as playing guitar and MMA.

I personally find TV boring and .... mediocre. I swear TV, video games are huge time sucks.
Fortnite is my children’s hobby not mine!
Hobby wise apart from watching football (soccer) I don’t do anything else these days. I used to play soccer also but as my friends got older the started to drop out one by one.

My biggest passion is travel. Unfortunately I can’t do that every week or weekend. Having spent some time thinking the last couple of days I need to spend more time building my new brand. Regardless if it’s the weekend. Sometimes without a step by step manual it’s difficult to plough through.

I’m a lot more productive when it comes to tasks that have a straightforward linear process. At the moment we are waiting for our new samples so it’s a bit of a calm before the storm.






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Brian Suh

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Do something out of the ordinary and communicate your situation with your wife. I'm not married and have no kids so I can't exactly relate to your situation, although I'm no stranger to boredom and feeling stuck. When that happens to me, I tend to try something I've never done before or travel (if possible). Shake things up a bit and push yourself to accomplish something. Discipline equals freedom.
Exactly this. Though i dont have a family, when i feel overwhelemed by other people, i take a month or two away from everybody and immerse myself in things i want to do. When i am done with these cocoon seshes, i have WAY more energy and feel i have more to offer to the people around me.
 

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