What's wrong with the world we live in?

[Yankees338]

I've known this girl in my grade since about 6th grade, between 5 and 6 years ago. She was a great athlete, nice person, good lookin' as anything, and not a bad student either.

She was diagnosed with a strange form of cancer about 8 or 10 months ago, I believe. Ever since then, I'd only been encouraging news about her condition. She'd come to school every once-in-a-while, but mostly was getting treatment. She came in to school to visit about a month ago, which was a nice treat.

Today, I was sitting in my U.S. History II class and my friend turned around and whispered to me, "***** passed away today." I was pretty stunned because of what I'd been hearing, but he assured me it was true. I was pretty bummed out, too, because of how shocking it was, but I tried not to let it get to me. My friend told me not to tell people, and I understood, so I obliged.

Two periods later, school ended. I walked out of my last class of the day into the hall and saw someone crying. It was one person, so I didn't really think much of it. Then, I saw a group of three more girls crying. Hmm...why? Then, I saw another group of girls crying, and I had realized why. People heard the news, and it was the unfortunate truth. I knew there was something strange that afternoon when I left my last class. The halls were considerably quieter than usual, and there was no drama. That's when I really felt what had happened. I was growing more and more depressed about it. I wasn't great friends with this girl, but I was friendly with her and we had many mutual friends. The halls had a different vibe this afternoon. Half of the school was in tears, but everybody had a sympathetic look on their face like they all were hurt on the inside.

It's just messed up. Things like this shouldn't happen. It really makes you think, though. I'm not doin' too badly now, but a bunch of my friends were hit pretty hard. I just wish there was something that could be said to them, or anybody for that matter, that could explain this.

Sorry about the rant; it's been a pretty strange day.

 

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[Yankees338]

Thanks J...I hate the fact that it takes things like this to remind us all of what's important. But, that's life. That's the human race, for better or for worse.

 

[Runum]

I agree with what Jason said. I want to also add be good to people as you go through life, you never know who you might touch. Hang in there man.

 

[hakrjak]

I hear you on this...

When I was in high school, we lost a football player to Colon cancer at 18... Then 2 years later, a beautiful girl from our high school class, who could have been the Prom queen died in a car accident on the freeway right next to my college.

Stuff like this puts things into perspective when you are young. Just the fact that you are taking notice of this stuff tells me that you are more enlightened than most young people in your age range.

Never forget that we're only here for a short time... And always remember that "It's later than you think...."

Cheers,

- Hakrjak

 

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[GoldenEggs]

:smxE: It's hard when a friend passes on. There isn't anything really to say, other than you're there if they need to talk or if they just need someone to be there.

 

[yveskleinsky]

Death is never easy, and it tends to knock you on your a$$ when a friend/classmate passes on. The way you feel is totally normal- and unfortunately you can't cure normal. I had several classmates die when I was in high school, and it just knocked the wind out of me. Try to focus on how awesome she was and what made her unique, and hold on to that memory. Our thoughts are with you and her family.

 

[Yankees338]

Thanks for all the support. I'm not having too much trouble getting over this -- I don't really know why, though, because I know kids who probably never even spoke to her that are a little shaken up -- but I hate to see everybody so angry and troubled. I mean, I'm definitely sad, and I'm usually pretty sensitive (make all the jokes you want ), but I kinda saw this coming, I guess.

Thankfully, I've never lost anyone too close to me, though, so maybe that has some affect on this. Idk...death sucks no matter how you look at it. We'll all get through it and be stronger for it, though, so I guess we just gotta keep fightin'.

 

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[Jorge]

Hi Yanks...

I lost my best friend to cancer when I was 19. It was a pretty hard time for me. The first two months it was like nothing had happened. Like my mind tricked me into thinking that he was still with me. Then, one day out of nothing I remembered him and started crying like a kid. Thats when I realized I had so much sadness inside that needed to get out.

As time passed, I came to the conclusion that if he hadn't made it, I should live life to the fullest for the two of us. And thats what I'm doing

I miss him sometimes, but I firmly believe that he's out there waiting for me. Believe me, time really heals people.

Best wishes!

And yes, is a f$#% world...

By the way: One thing that helped me A LOT was to help his family and GF. I spent countless hours talking with them, telling stories that they didn't knew about and helping them to have a nice memory of him.

 

[CorsePerVita]

My first experience with death in a close manner was my best friend who died in the 3rd grade. I'll never forget the kid, his name was Kyle. He was backed over by a van not paying attention while he was bending over to tie his shoe. Open casket funeral and everything. And I'll never forget that.

At the age of 22 I've now have no grandpas or grandmas left, had many close friends pass away and more family members pass on. Death has it's way of rearing it's ugly head around in my life.

I know exactly how you feel. It's an odd feeling. I will never forget that morning I went into class, all the other kids were quiet, some crying, the teacher announced to those that didn't know and no one really said or did much of anything... That day was like the day there wasn't any bickering or fighting. It was like everyone felt the same thing. When someone is suddenly missing from that environment, everyone's life, it's felt by everyone. It's a sad fact of life, no one enjoys it.

It sounds like you have a good handle on your attitude. Just remember to mourn in what ever suits you and helps you deal with the problem the best. And remember to never forget those people that made a difference in your life

Either way I am terribly sorry for your loss. My condolences.

 

[Diane Kennedy]

Yankees,

You may find yourself crying or being sad at odd moments. That's normal and all part of the grieving process. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, even though it really sucks to be sad at the time.

The more deeply and honestly you can feel what you're going through now, the better equipped you will be for the rest of your amazing life. I've seen people who had a personal tragedy at a relatively young age and it just shut them down. They never wanted to hurt, and so they didn't. But that meant that they didn't feel a lot of other things either.

So, experience this - remember your friend and tell someone "thank you" or how much they mean to you, every chance you get.

My prayer for you is for peace and perspective during this time.

Take care of yourself - Diane

 

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[rsant]

my condolences. I work in pathology and I am surrounded by the term carcinoma all day long. It definitely is a different story when it is someone close.

 

[8 SNAKE]

I just wish there was something that could be said to them, or anybody for that matter, that could explain this.

This life is merely the pre-game warm up. Some, like your friend, get called into the game earlier than others, but we'll all get a chance to play.

I remind myself of this every time I start to lose perspective or feel overwhelmed.

 

[Yankees338]

Thanks again to all of you. Her funeral was today. There were probably 1,000 people there -- it was crazy. There was a candle-lighting ceremony at our high school on Thursday night, and probably 300-500 people showed up then. Tomorrow morning, we're meeting behind our high school on the turf and sending up messages attached to balloons. I didn't know her that well, but I'm still gonna go.

Everybody seems to be in pretty good shape except for her family (who are understandably in pretty bad shape) and her closest friends. A lot of the teachers who coached her or worked closely with her were pretty crushed, too.

Thanks again for all the responses.

 

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[FT1]

Yankees338,

Sorry about the loss of your friend.